Really enjoying this. I know this is a fetish work, but the reader in me still feels that the boys, though maybe a little arrogant, don't really deserve to be so punished simply for trying hard and succeeding. I'm secretly hoping for a just ending where at least Dean survives, but alas, they're probably going to get eaten, and teh story will be excellent anyway.

Simply excellent writing. Some of your descriptions, whilst imaginative, seemed a little dubious, but the narrative is well planned and the setting (if you can call a toe a setting) excellently portrayed.

You may want to watch your  sentence structures. Not breaking the mold of SUBJECT verbed the OBJECT can lead to very boring narrative. For instance, in chapters 2,3,4,5 and 6 there is only one paragraph taht doesn't use the word 'Nickolas' in the first line. This makes it different to pace your story in an engaging or interesting way and can make it seem flat.

I hope you don't feel like i'm being unfair, but constructive criticism never hurt anyone who acted upon it

Please don't mistake my previous criticisms for contempt, this story is fantastic. I'm loving the direction you've taken. The Oedipus complex adds an interesting layer to the story and I hope the mother's new found joy in her godliness is
a. Of her own doing and not the maids'
b. going to continue
because it's simply awesome, and it befits the story's status as a fetish work. I'm looking forward to seeing what her new slave is going to have to endure.

Author's Response: Once again, thanks for the comments.  As you've mentioned, I've tried to weave in more and more of the son's oedipal desires, so we'll see where it takes him!