Hope you're doing well. I have to be honest when I started reading this, I thought it was going to be a lighthearted college story about a girl trying out for cheerleading. The opening with Chrissy doing backflips and Leah teasing Lexi about having a crush felt natural and fun. But then you slowly layered in the unease the vertigo, the sensitivity to wind and electrical currents, the "birds" that weren't actually birds. By the time the drones smashed through the library window, I realized you had been building something much darker underneath all the cheerful surface dialogue. That contrast is hard to pull off, and you did it beautifully.

The scene where Lexi shrank out of her clothes to escape the drone, then ran through grass like a jungle, then used a sock as a matador's cape that was genuinely creative action writing. Most writers would have just had her shrink and hide, but you gave her a real plan, even improvising as she went. And the detail of her only growing back to half size afterward, struggling to run in clothes that didn't fit anymore, made the victory feel earned and costly, not effortless. I also appreciated that Josh wasn't useless he showed up with the backpack at the right moment but he also wasn't magically healed. He was still struggling, still needing help to walk to the health center. That kind of grounded consequence keeps the stakes real.

The letter from "Hope" at the end, and Lexi almost throwing it away but then keeping it because "everybody needs a little hope," was a quiet but powerful way to close a chapter full of chaos. Not everyone can balance action, character building, and emotional beats like that without losing momentum. I genuinely respect the effort you've put into this.

I'm a paid artist and I specialize in turning stories into comic pages. The way you visualize size changes – Lexi shrinking out of her clothes, the perspective shift of running through grass taller than her, the drone blades looming like helicopter rotors – those are panels I can already see in my head. I'd love to bring your story to life visually. If you're interested, feel free to reach out:

Email: trippsyyarts @ gmail . com
Discord: tripsydraws

Looking forward to hearing from you. My question is this: when Lexi used her shrinking to climb inside the drone and started pulling cables, you mentioned electrical sparks coming from her fingertips earlier in the scene, but she didn't consciously use that power to disable the machine she did it manually. Was that a deliberate choice to show she still doesn't fully understand or trust her new abilities yet, or is the electrical aspect something that's going to become more important later as she learns to control it?