[Report This]Date: March 13 2022 8:23 PM Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed this story!! You provided nice descriptions, nice character archetypes, even explained things most people don't bother to explain (why there's a bed with wheels, why she's ok with stepping on bugs and cigarette butts). The odor and dirt was a nice touch too. The ant talking was way more effective than I thought it'd be. Really curious to know why it could since you said there's a reason for it. My personal favorite scene was the revelation of the ant his gf stepped on without realizing it. Especially because she doesn't like killing bugs. Good work!! I enjoyed it a lot!
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for reviewing 🙂
Very glad that you enjoyed the in-depth descriptions and explanations. I like to tell the audience clearly what is going on and why it is happening.
In sometime in the future I plan to write more stories with talking ants where you will find out why exactly they talk. So if you stick around you will be in for a surprise!
[Report This]Date: March 11 2022 11:41 PM Title: Chapter 1
Fun to read. But the ending left something to be desired. I was picturing the sisters red hot rage leading to her grabbing the shrink gun and pointing it at her sister. Feel it would have been where the story was going when her holding back on her sister for so long and then her heart breaking as well as her sisters treatment of insects would have lead. To her becoming insect size herself.
Author's Response:
First of all thank you very much for reviewing 🙂
I purposefully left the story on a cliff-hanger ending because I wanted the audience to be left in the heat of the moment and use their imagination as to what could possibly happen next.
But yes I can totally see it that this would be the most likely thing Emma does next given the seriousness of what Oliva has done and to teach her a lesson.
So glad you enjoyed it 🙂
[Report This]Date: March 11 2022 4:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
This was incredible I love when the girl midtakes the person for a bug. I also like how it ends without her ever finding out it was a person she killed. Overall amazing!
Author's Response:
So glad you enjoyed it 🙂. Also like how you enjoyed the cliff-hanger ending
[Report This]Date: March 11 2022 3:28 AM Title: Chapter 1
Very well written. I really liked the setting of a dirty room. It really helped to set the scene after our main character had shrunken down! Also, very creative to make the ant speak. That also really helped to emphasize just how tiny Justin had become.
I am a bit sad that he didn't survive the encounter with Olivia. I felt very bad for Emma in the end. I would have loved to see the story continue, because I really like your style of writing, what details you pay attention to and I also think the setting holds a lot of potential, especially with the talking ants! But I'd also love to see more Emma-Justin interaction with that size difference ^^.
Nonetheless, I really enjoyed reading the story and I'm looking forward to more stories from you in the future :)!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for for reviewing 🙂
I plan to address the talking ants and the reason they can talk in future stories so I am thrilled that are looking forward for more stories from me in future!
As for Justin's death I decided to kill him to emphasise the tragedy of seemingly trivial human actions having a devastating impact on others.
But who knows. Maybe you might see Justin resurrected in future if you stick around 🙂
[Report This]Date: March 11 2022 2:50 AM Title: Chapter 1
I have to say I was hoping for Justin to get out alive XD
The heartbreak, anger and shock coming from Emma was palpable, especially given Olivia's non-chalant reaction.
You wrote all the characters very well, and the interaction between them and the size difference point of view was also described well :)
And Olivia's feet and their effect were hot XD Nice work on really putting us in Justin's positon.
As your first story this was well written and I hope you keep writing more if this is anything to go by, I can't wait to see what you write next.
(I wonder how Olivia would react to learn she killed Justin)
Author's Response:
Thanks you so much for reviewing as it really helps to understand how people view my story 🙂.
I deliberately left it on a cliff-hanger ending because I wanted the audience to be left in the heat of the moment and imagine what could possible happen next.
So you can use your imagination as to how Oliva would react to killing Justin.
Very excited to know that you are looking forward to more stories from me 🙂