Date: May 14 2011 12:42 PM Title: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry
Its just my opinion that stories written like this are not fun to read at all. It feels like someone is talking in my ear too closely. You know that feeling where someone is putting their mouth right by your ear.
Second person stories have never been fun to read for me at least.
i'm sorry that the perspective hurt your view of the story. to me, i just enjoy doing it in 2nd person because it's easier for me to put myself in the story than when it's just talking about a random guy whom I can't relate to at all. i definitely plan to experiment with other perspectives in the future though
Date: May 14 2011 12:03 PM Title: Chapter 10: A Bowl of Brother for Breakfast
The power and arrogance she had and displayed was simply...amazing. One of the greatest antogonists of any story i've ever read.
thanks. evil characters are such a treat to write
Date: May 13 2011 9:59 PM Title: Chapter 7: Subhuman Condition
You're hitting a homerun! This story is reminencent of the classics by Ziggy and Littlelee and Ogelthorpe. The story is simple, in that it essentially deals with two individuals, yet complex due to your strong descriptions and characterizations. I'm not sure of your ultimate conclusion, but my intuition tells me the brother may not make it out of this alive. I've wondered if the smell of a woman's feet at such a tiny size could "end" someone and could see this being the fate of this now-little brother! No matter what, as an old time fan of these sorts of tales, I appreciate your work!
Thanks for your interest in my stuff, bud. It's flattering to be compared to those guys when I've really just kind of started thinking about this kind of thing a matter of days ago. You obviously like the foot stuff, so I'm betting you already know, from the lead in from chapter 7, that chapter 8 is going to continue in that vein heavily. enjoy!
Date: May 13 2011 6:35 PM Title: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry
Wow, great additions here! You really handled the foot smelling scene better than anyone else in recent memory; your description of the brother's reaction and humilation from just one sniff struck me for its brutal affect it had on him. I honestly thought he was done for! I don't know how this will end up but from that one scene, I'd say that the brother is in for a punishment he may never recover from, physically or psychologically!
I enjoy the entire process of writing these, but the kinds of scenes that involve the main character being impossible humiliated are way too damn fun to do. I've read a lot of descriptions of a guy being exposed to a giant foot and then getting the shit kicked out of him by it, but it occurred to me that each moment, right from the first whiff of them to the awful beating after should be tangible and real, so I tried to put extra care in that first bit
Date: May 13 2011 10:55 AM Title: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry
You're doing a great job in setting this story up. The pacing and characterization is spot-on. As a foot guy, I particularly like the way the sister is slowly exerting a dominant nature on her older brother. Also, you did a good job of giving us a hint of how strong her feet are, particularlyt the pugent smell. I see this as foreshadowing how destructive her feet will be on her brother when he's really tiny! I hope she breaks and destroyes him! Keep up the excellent work!
Date: May 13 2011 9:40 AM Title: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry
Really looking forward to seeing this continue. I'm hoping you keep up the actual development portion. Some people think it's slow, but I'm a big fan of build up and pay off.
Keep it up! :)
As am I! To me, the build-up is easier to write, not only because it's the closest thing to reality, but because it's so much fun to subtly stick in little bits of reference/foreshadowing to what's coming up.