Congrats on finishing, not a fan of cruel stuff too much, but this was pretty well written, good job.

This is an amazing story and you're a very talented writer. From both technical and aesthetic standpoints, I feel like you could easily cut it as a professional writer in the sense that the prose and diction and whatnot are top notch. Obviously, having the talent and actually breaking the glass ceiling of getting published are two totally different animals (if that's your thing), but at least you've got one of them! I specifically admire how well the narration outside of the dialogue brings out each character. For instance, it's very obvious when the third-person limited perspective switches from Chelsea to Ms. Cavelli to Bryce, etc. That's really well done and not easy to pull off.

It's tough for me to find anything to criticize, but if I had to point to one thing, I'd have to say that there's not really a character that I'm rooting for. As an earlier reviewer mentioned, I'm afraid of Chelsea, and I'm not even in the story. Obviously I can't get behind any of the high school "cool kids," and even Ms. Cavelli is tough to sympathize with, simply because everyone descibes her as mean and she seems kind of dense -- for example, her attempt to scold Chelsea for the joint, while not out of character, was plain stupid and it's tough to like her for it.

Then again, a story like this doesn't lend itself to having likable characters; it could easily fall in the "horror" genre, and those tend to have unlikable victims as well as villains. So if you have that particular aim for the story, then feel free to ignore my one criticism.

Anyway, this is a fantastic piece of writing and I hope you continue it!

It's an interesting start. I wonder why there were in school at night...

I randomly picked this up this morning and became instantly fascinated.  I love the concept of hundreds of students trapped in a school with a girl who suddenly and unexpectedly finds herself excited by her power over them.  Also, to second Tinyone's thoughts, I really wish I knew someone named Chelsea Dewinter.  I bet we'd be the kind of friends that have hot, dangerous adventures together.

Obviously, I'll pay attention and look forward to more of this delightful romp.  Your characterization of highschoolers is fantastic, and the language unique enough to warrant specifically being mentioned.  I'll look into some of your other stuff (though I think I've read a bit before), and see how much fun I have reading.

Really enjoying this one so far. i like how you took some time to get things going, and didn't just go full blown into it in the first chapter or two. i look forward to more chapters