2013...

In an orbital studio, Space Ghost and his two former arch enemies Moltar and Zorak were listening to the opening credits of yet another episode of their live talk show Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

“Greetings, I’m Space Ghost,” said Space Ghost, “Welcome to another of our theme shows. For those of you who didn’t see the episodes Batmantis and Gilligan, a theme show is where we have a number of guests who all have something to do with a common theme. Tonight’s theme is Giantessworld, where high quality science fiction authors write stories about … well how about I ask our first guest to explain. Here’s my first guest Garycomic. He is a writer of fan fictions and stories about historical myths and legends. Hi, Gary.”

“Hi Space Ghost,” said Garycomic.

“So what is Giantessworld?” asked Space Ghost.

“It’s an internet community, where people write stories about shrunken men or giant women. Some of us write fan fictions, based on well known characters. Others create their own characters.”

“So is there one of your stories that you’d like our viewers to pay particular attention to?” asked Space Ghost.

“Well I guess one of the most popular ones in our own forum is ‘Vore Knight of the Obelisk’. It’s got time travel, a few characters from your own Hanna-Barbera background …. Or was that Gary’s Comic Drabbles… oh, and it’s also got Batman and Robin. At least one of them gets shrunken by Catwoman,” said Garycomic.

“Hey, he can’t talk about them. They’re not Hanna-Barbera characters!” yelled Zorak from off-screen.

“Not true,” said Moltar, “Batman and Robin teamed up with Scooby Doo and the gang twice in 1972 in the New Scooby Doo Movies, and they then went on to appear in every series of Superfriends and Super Powers Team.”

“Batman also helped me in my most recent bout with Creature King,” said Space Ghost. (“Batman the Brave and the Bold: Space Safari” in the episode “Bold Beginnings”).

“My bad,” said Zorak.

“So tell us Garycomic, which Hanna-Barbera characters have appeared in your stories?” asked Space Ghost.

“Well I created a father/son link between the Dastardly Diamond Dazzler (an enemy of the Impossibles) and Alexander Cabot the manager of Josie and the Pussycats…”

“So who actually reads this stuff?”

“Well there are three types of readers. There are quite a number of lurkers,” said Garycomic.

“A number of them! I had enough trouble with just one. He worked for One-Eye,” said Space Ghost.

“I’m thinking of teaming up with one and calling ourselves Pun-Guy and Lurker,” said Garycomic, “The second group of readers actually leave review feedback on the stories, which gives us the chance to respond. The last group is the rarest. It’s readers that are so keen on the material, that they read it, review it and then write spin-offs.”

“Well in fact our next guests met in just such a way,” said Space Ghost, “Thanks for being on the show, Garycomic, “Now here are my next guests, Girlfeast and Squish1. Now Squish1, with regard to what Garycomic and I were just saying, tell our viewers how you guys met.”

“I read a series of stories written by Girlfeast that particularly appealed to me called ‘The Feeding Dish’. I liked them so much that I started writing Feeding Dish spin-offs,” said Squish1.

“So Girlfeast, what’s the Feeding Dish series about?” asked Space Ghost.

“It’s set in a restaurant, where male patrons can go and be shrunken by waitresses,” said Girlfeast.

“And why would they do that?” asked Space Ghost, “Has the Evil Collector escaped from Dracto and gone into the cuisine industry?”

“No, well actually, the male patrons volunteer to be … well …. eaten by the full sized female patrons,” said Girlfeast.

“Oh gross!” said Zorak.

Space Ghost aimed one of his power band hands at Zorak and blasted him with enough force that would leave him smoking for the next few minutes of the show.

“So let me get this straight,” said Space Ghost, “Men and women go to this restaurant, and the women shrink and eat the men.”

“That’s about the size of it,” said Girlfeast.

“Sorry, but Space Ghost already used that pun in ‘Time of the Giants’,” said Moltar.

“I don’t remember that episode,” said Girlfeast.

“It was well documented in the Space Stars series with Teen Force and the Herculoids segments as well as Space Ghost adventures,” said Moltar.

“I don’t suppose you could take Moltar and Zorak and add them to the menu,” sighed Space Ghost.

“They only serve man, not mantis,” said Girlfeast, “Is there a man inside Moltar’s costume?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never looked,” said Space Ghost.

“Shrink me and serve me to women and I’ll have Harvey Birdman sue you for diminishment of character,” said Moltar.

“So… Girlfeast, why would anybody want to be eaten?” asked Space Ghost.

 “It’s just something you’re born with. You either want it or you don’t,” said Girlfeast, “With most guys who like giantess vore, it started when we were little kids.”

“I knew Bill and Joe should never have done that Flintstones episode called ‘Itty Bitty Fred’ nor that Partridge Family 2200AD episode called ‘Incredible Shrinking Keith’, not to mention the number of times people got shrunken in Superfriends,” said Space Ghost, “So Squish1, what would you say to men in our audience who’ve been harbouring a secret desire to be shrunken and eaten by women?”

“Well it’s wisest to marry a woman who doesn’t mind eating you, or better still, someone who’s quite keen on the idea. That way you can both stay together and save on divorce lawyers,” said Squish1.

“Well thank you, Girlfeast and Squish1. My last guest is Timescribe.”

“Hello Space Ghost,” said Timescribe.

“So what sort of stories do you write for Giantessworld?” asked Space Ghost.

“I’ve done some Hanna-Barbera fan fiction chapters in ‘Timescribe’s Double Drabbles’ and ‘Scooby Doo meets the Brady Bunch’ and ‘Challenge of the Superfriends: Fast Track to Earth Prime’ and ‘Alice in Giantland’. I’ve done other stories with my own characters, but I guess my most unique story was Ambloome, Princess of Giants,” said Timescribe.

“And what makes it unique?” asked Space Ghost.

“It’s 95 chapters of poetry. Each chapter is in fact a 500 word poem,” said Timescribe.

“What’s it about?”

“Amulets that transport Vikings and other earthlings into another dimension of giants. Some of them form romantic relationships. Some end up time travelling, having science fictional battles, saving earth from mind controlling maniacs, and so on. The story’s got everything,” said Timescribe.

“Everything except restaurants where men get eaten or plots about Batman getting shrunken by-“ said Zorak.

“Sorry about that. He must have recovered from my last blasting session,” said Space Ghost, proceeding to blast Zorak again, “So Timescribe, is it hard to tell a story when you’re bound to write in rhyme?”

“The dialogue can be challenging, and you have to limit it,” said Timescribe, “But it’s very satisfying. As far as I know, no single poem has ever gone that long in the 6000 years of earth’s history, not even Psalm 119 in the Bible.”

“Did anyone read it for that long?” asked Moltar.

“Giantessworld can monitor and report the read counts. At one point it was up to 7416 readers and Garycomic wrote me a review that said ‘7416 lurkers can’t be wrong. You’re really onto something good here.’. That was encouraging.”

“7416 lurkers!” said Space Ghost, “What if they make their way onto this show before we get to the-?”

The end theme for Space Ghost Coast to Coast cut in on Space Ghost’s question.

“Nobody miniaturizes the Mantis!” croaked Zorak, recovering enough from Space Ghost’s second blast to briefly interrupt the end theme, which then went on to finish.

Spoiler Warnings: Brief pre-textual references to Adventures of Gulliver and Laff-A-Lympics in the next two chapters.

The following week, another episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast went to air live.

“Greetings. I am Space Ghost,” said Space Ghost, “My guests tonight have both agreed to come on the show in response to what the Giantessworld authors said in last week’s show. Tonight my guests are Inch High Private Eye and Bunco from the hidden island of Lilliput. I’ll be talking to both of them at once. Welcome guys.”

“Glad to be here, Space Ghost,” said Inch High.

“Me too,” said Bunco.

“So you two have quite a story to tell,” said Space Ghost.

Inch High Private Eye and Bunco co-narrated a fascinating account for the Space Ghost Coast to Coast viewers. It all began in fact in 1969…

Gary Gulliver, his father Tom Gulliver and Captain John Leech headed out on a sailing voyage, and soon passed another boat, which was headed back towards America. In the second boat were Professor Hayden, his daughter Leslie and young assistant Link Simmons, who had all just escaped from Danger Island.

Gulliver’s boat later met with a storm at sea. Tom Gulliver was missing and eventually presumed dead. Gary Gulliver had many encounters with Captain Leech, and was aided by the tiny people of the island city of Lilliput.

In late 1973, Inch High Private Eye and his niece Lori took their dog Braveheart on an ocean voyage and came across the island of Lilliput. Lori and Gary Gulliver fell in love, and were married. Braveheart and Gulliver’s dog Tagg became good friends and explored the island together for a while.

Inch High Private Eye, being used to using his acrobatic skills to outmanoeuvre full sized criminals, managed to swing a vine around Captain Leech and tie him up, saving the Lilliputian girl Flirtacia in the process. She was grateful, and Leech was sentenced to be reduced in size by force feeding him water from the Forbidden Pool, the next time it appeared. After that he was kept in a Lilliputian jail, now permanently the size of a Lilliputian.

After that, Inch High remained in Lilliput as its first detective. Gary and Lori Gulliver took their dogs back to the mainland and set up house and home. Eventually, news of Lilliput’s existence became known to Snagglepuss and Mildew Wolf, who decided to top their latest episode of Laff-a-Lympics, which had been set on the moon.

So, in late 1978 or early 1979, (Bunco and Inch High were not exactly sure), Hanna-Barbera’s sports commentator Don Messick announced the start of Scooby’s All-Star Laff-A-Lympics episode 25:

“Welcome sports fans to another All-Star Laff-A-Lympics. Today, our athletes will go to the island of Lilliput and then make a return visit to the most popular venue: the amazon jungle.”

“That may have to wait, silly savages,” said Mildew Wolf, “Several of Captain Caveman’s compressed prehistoric animals have somehow escaped from their usual confines of his extensive chest hair, and are running riot in the Everglades.”

“Grape Ape! Grape Ape!” said the only modern day giant animal who could possibly stand a chance of recapturing the escaped animals.

The forty foot purple gorilla Grape Ape soon corralled all of Captain Caveman’s escaped animals and returned them to Cavey, who put them back in his chest hairs, using his power club to compress their size as usual.

“Excellent! Well done even!” said Snagglepuss, “And now our contestants can all board the express ark to Lilliput. Welcome our three teams: the Yogi Yahooeys, the Scooby Doobies and the Really Rottens.”

“Why is Mumbly a rotten, if he was an inspector who had a cameo guest appearances in one of my adventures?” asked Dynomutt.

“Knock off the ridiculous questions, and just get into the Express Ark, Dog Wonder. This is a different show,” said Blue Falcon.

In time, the ark came to drop its anchor in the ocean just near the shores of Lilliput.

“Well folks, now our silly savages are getting ready to remove even more credibility from the sports world in our latest event: the ladies’ Lilliputian hunt,” said Mildew, “Before I outline the nature of the event, Snag will introduce our volunteer Lilliputian men who have agreed to participate in this event.”

“Thanks Mildew,” said Snagglepuss, “Meet three of Lilliput’s most prominent citizens, who are all looking for relatively giant sized wives: Eggar, Bunco and Glump.”

“I’m going to enjoy this more than the days I competed with Gary for Flirtacia,” said Eggar.

“This is my BIG chance,” said Bunco.

“I hope it’s not a shrink gun wedding,” said Glump.

“Thank you, with gratitude even,” said Snagglepuss, “Now it’s back to Mildew, to outline this event.”

“That’s right folks,” said Mildew Wolf, “Our three Lilliputians are off to hide themselves in the Mysterious Forest on the island, while I tell you what’s going to happen next. Three ladies, one from each team, will each chase and catch a Lilliputian and bring them back to the outskirts of Lilliput, where King Pomp, and two other Lilliputian marriage celebrants Raldersol and Flibnab will perform the ceremonies. The first contestant to get her man to the altar will be awarded 25 points for her team. 15 points for second, and 10 points for third.”

“Yes Mildew,” said Don, “And now to meet our contestants. It’s Teen Angel Brenda for the Scooby Doobies, who will be hunting for Eggar, Daisy Mayhem from the Really Rottens, who will be hunting for Glump, and … I’ve just realised that there are no human ladies on the Yogi Yahooeys. This could be a Laff-A-Lympics first, folks. We may have to cancel an event for lack of qualifying contestants.”

“Not at all,” said Teen Angel Taffy, “Bunco and I are very keen on each other, and Grape Ape was a big help to Cavey in recovering the escaped prehistoric animals. In gratitude, I’m willing to enter for the Yogis and do my very best to win for them.”

“Well, if there’s no objection from either the Yogis or the Scoobys, I guess we’re ready to go,” said Don.

“Are our Lilliputians all well hidden?” asked Snagglepuss.

“They sure are,” said Mildew.

“Then let the hunt begin,” said Don, “And they’re off and running on foot, with tall Taffy in the lead, followed by Daisy Mayhem in second place, and Brenda bringing up the rear. Here’s a reminder to our viewers, that regardless of who wins the event, all three girls will still end up marrying their Lilliputian sweethearts.”

“Maybe we should rename this silliness the Small-Star Wife-Of-Lilliputian show,” said Mildew.

“Hilarious. Funny even,” said Snagglepuss.

“Brenda’s crawling through the forest bushes on foot in search of Eggar, but she’s found Glump by mistake. She’s saying nothing, so that Daisy won’t find out,” said Don Messick, “But where’s daisy? She’s still running, getting ahead of Taffy in distance in the forest, although neither one of them has found their man yet. Now Taffy has veered into the bushes on foot and is walking around slowly like a giantess in pursuit of Bunco.”

The hunt continued for several minutes longer.

“And now it’s Daisy Mayhem in the lead!” said Don, “This could be a real break for the Rottens. Daisy has caught Glump and is running back to Lilliput with him. King Pomp is starting the ceremony … and they’re exchanging their vows and Glump is presenting Daisy with a ring made of an old Lilliputian cart wheel, and yes! They’re married! Daisy has just kissed her tiny groom! Now it’s Brenda in second place for the Scoobies …. Brenda and Eggar have just said their ‘I do’ vows, and now finally here comes Taffy and Bunco for the Yogis… and they’re all married.”

“I challenge the Rottens’ win,” said Dee Dee, “Why is Bunco dripping slobber?”

“We’ll just watch an action replay on our x-ray cheat detection camera,” said Mildew, “And here’s the Really Rotten cheat for this event. We can see now, that Daisy Mayhem was the first to find Bunco. Unlike Brenda, who found Glump and ignored him, Daisy captured Bunco, swallowed him to delay any chance of his being found by Taffy, and didn’t cough him up and release him until she’d found and caught Glump.”

“Well Daisy and Glump are still legally married, but the Rottens forfeit their win for cheating. As it remains impossible to know who would have won out of the Scoobies and Yogis if the Rottens hadn’t cheated, we’ll award and equal first place to both teams, and leave the Rottens with a fifteen point penalty for cheating, to be deducted from their 25 point dishonest victory. This leaves the half time scores being 10 points for the Rottens in last place, and the Scoobies and Yogis tied at 25 points. Don’t go away folks. We’ll be back later in the amazon jungle for the second half of the All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.”

After the three teams of contestants had somehow managed to get from Lilliput to the Amazon Jungle in the time space of a commercial break (bringing with them the three Lilliputian grooms who had married Brenda, Daisy and Taffy), Don Messick announced the event for the second half of the Laff-A-Lympics.

“We’re back, sports fans. In a previous episode, we were holding an event at the Killawhoever Falls, when one of the Daltons was caught by a giant Amazon woman, who picked up the Daltons’ boat. So now we’re back with today’s event, which is a contest to see who can capture the giantess first. For the Yogi Yahooeys, we have team captain Yogi Bear. For the Rottens, Dread Baron, and for the Scooby Doobies, Tinker, and now they’re off. The contestants are splitting up and heading off in different directions …. And it looks like Yogi Bear is the first to find the giant woman, who is treating him like a teddy bear. Tinker and Dread Baron have heard Yogi’s protests and zeroed in on the noise. Dread Baron has tried to trip the giantess by shoving his hat onto one of her big toes. This has been unsuccessful, but now Tinker has taken out some special handcuffs he designed himself. He’s climbing a tall tree and jumping onto the giantess’s shoulder. It’s amazing folks. He’s sliding down the giantess’s arm and waiting for her hands to be close together, while she strokes Yogi Bear with one hand and holds him with the other. Now he’s snapping the cuffs on, and now he’s jumped off and slid down her dress to her ankles. He’s pulling out a second pair of expanding handcuffs and cuffing the giantess’s ankles together. She’s down, and Yogi and Dread Baron are running for cover. It’s a clear 25 point win for the Scoobys, and … wait, what are you doing now, Tinker?”

“I’m taking my cues from the Lilliputian boys and proposing to the giantess.”

“You’re really rather cute,” said the giantess, “But I’m not going to leave my jungle. Would you be prepared to live here with me?”

“Well I joined the Scooby Doobies after Mark went off with Debbie, and there aren’t going to be any more episodes of Laff-A-Lympics planned until 2012,” said Tinker, “So I’d love to stay here and live with you.”

“Then I accept your proposal,” said the giantess.

So Tinker and the giantess got married too. He used Speed Buggy to keep up with her, whenever she was moving fast with her giant size. Taffy and Bunco returned to Lilliput, where Taffy became the Lilliputians new giant guardian, replacing Gary Gulliver who’d left with Lori years earlier.

Daisy Mayhem and Glump moved in together, as did Brenda and Eggar.

As Bunco and Inch High Private Eye finished their account of all these events from 1969 to 1979, Space Ghost listened with fascination.

“Well what a story,” said Space Ghost, “We’ll see you both later, and now it’s time for a shameless plug for next week’s episode, when our guest will be…”

“Hold it there, interloper!” came a voice.

“Who was that?” asked Moltar.

“Sounded strangely familiar,” said Zorak.

“And so I should,” came the voice from off-stage.

From the same direction came a blast that hit Space Ghost and somehow changed the colour of his costume. It was now a mixture of blue and grey. Then onto the stage stepped a man who could be a dead ringer for Space Ghost, wearing a costume identical to the one Space Ghost had worn just before it was hit by the strange blast.

“Now that my splatter ray has washed that dye off your costume, you can stand and face the real Space Ghost,” said the newcomer, “And as for Moltar and Zorak, did you two really think that I’d retire from saving the universe and start a lame talk show, that largely wasted its guest stars on trivial rarely funny dialogue, and hire two of my worst enemies from the Council of Doom as my production staff? How many of your viewers actually believed it?”

“Then who is that guy we’ve been working for since 1994?” asked Zorak.

“I was attacked by an evil alternate version of myself from a parallel universe named Space Spectre, who teamed up with five of the parallel earth’s super villains from 1980 (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Robin and Aquaman calling themselves the Super Enemies) in order to subdue me,” said Space Ghost, “After he stole the time machine that Jace built once, he took it back to his own universe, enlisted the Super Enemies with it, came to capture me and imprison me in his universe and then dyed his costume like mine, time travelled to 1994 and started an infantile talk show. I was finally freed by the Superfriends from this universe and then helped them capture the Super Enemies and hand them over to the authorities in their time and universe. Now I’m back to put an end to this late night comedic farce, using the counterparts of the same allies you used to capture me before.”

(Space Spectre was introduced in the Space Stars episode “Space Spectre” in 1981. The Super Enemies were introduced in the World’s Greatest Superfriends episode “Universe of Evil” in 1980).

Suddenly, the real Space Ghost was joined by Firestorm, Green Lantern, Superman and Flash. Firestorm knocked out Space Spectre’s Inviso-belt. The Flash confiscated his power bands at super speed. Superman subdued him and Green Lantern imprisoned him in an energy bubble from his power ring.

“Well, you have your time machine back too, Space Ghost,” said Green Lantern, “We can take Space Spectre back to his own universe and then return to our rightful time and place.”

“And can I apologise to the Superfriends, on behalf of my impersonator, for the way Batman was satirized in Space Spectre’s first season Batmantis episode,” said Space Ghost, “that evil impersonator kept bringing back tapes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast to a VCR and TV in the room where he held me, and forcing me to watch what he’d done to my good name. He even tried to get Harvey Birdman to give up his super hero role and start a show of his own too in 1997. Harvey couldn’t get his old job back at Internation Security, but he managed to continue fighting injustice as a lawyer.”

“Batman won’t hold it against you,” said Superman, “We’ll be off then.”

“I declare this show cancelled,” said Space Ghost, “But since Moltar and Zorak have been refraining from trying to take over the universe during the years of this show’s run, I’ll give them an amnesty for now.”

“There is one thing I’ve been wondering about the Laff-A-Lympics that Bunco and Inch High just told us about,” said Moltar, “How did Jabberjaw get from 2062 back to the late 1970s to guest star in a few episodes of the Laff-A-Lympics?”

“That’s a mystery worth solving,” said Space Ghost, “I think I’ll use Jace’s time machine (that the Superfriends recovered from Space Spectre) and go to 2062 and find out.”

Space Ghost soon reached Atlantis in the year 2062. Aquaman was long dead, and a visiting band called the Neptunes were playing a rock concert. Space Ghost waited for the show to finish and then introduced himself to the band: Biff, Shelly, Bubbles and Clamhead. It turned out that they had once clashed with one of Zorak’s descendants.

“So what I really came to find out was how did Jabberjaw get from 2062 to the 1970s Laff-A-Lympics?” asked Space Ghost.

“That’s easy,” said Jabberjaw, “Woowoowoowoo! Professor Thorstein managed to perfect his time machine, after we recovered it from the Sculpin. He let me use it a number of times, I’m going back to 2020 to visit Sealab next.”  (See Jabberjaw episode “No Helpin’ the Sculpin.”)

“I’d like to take a trip with you,” said Space Ghost, “I’ve got my own time machine, but I’m not sure how well it would function underwater. I left it on land.”

So they started off, but the time machine froze and would not leave 2062. Consulting Professor Thorstein, Jabberjaw learned that Space Ghost’s power bands were somehow upsetting the power source of the time machine. The Professor worked out that it would not be a problem if the power bands were much smaller.

Using the reverse setting of the growth ray that the Neptunes confiscated from the Phantom (in the episode “Help, Help, it’s the Phantom Kelp”), they shrank Space Ghost and took him in the time machine back to 2021, where Sealab had been operating for a year. They met Captain Mike Murphy, Dr Paul Williams, Hal, Ed Thomas, his mother Mrs Thomas, Gail, Bobby Murphy, Sparks , Sally, and Wilbur Campbell.

The Neptunes performed a guest concert of futuristic rock music, and the Sealab people enjoyed meeting the shrunken Space Ghost. Eventually Space Ghost and the Neptunes returned to 2062. Then they restored Space Ghost’s size, and he made his way back to land, and used his own time machine to return to his own time.

There was one thing he still wanted to know. In a parallel universe, where there were counterparts of a number of super heroes, what would be in place of Sealab? He loaded Jace’s time machine aboard the Phantom Cruiser and headed into the parallel universe. Then he time travelled back to 2021 and went down to the location of Sealab. There was an identical looking underwater city there, and he soon met an identical looking Captain Howling Mad Murphy, who was hosting a radio free show. There were counterparts of the Sealab crew from his own universe; in this case named Stormy, Quinn, Debbie and others.

He stood all that he could of their company before he left.

“They seem as whacky as that talk show my counterpart made,” thought Space Ghost, “Debbie and Quinn fornicate frequently. Murphy swears all the time, and their adventures seem to be the most outrageous of experiences. I suppose they wouldn’t be out of place with everything else that goes on in this universe. It’s time to get back to my own universe.”

Space Ghost returned to his own time and home, to find that he had been sent notification of a lawsuit, for breach of contract, by Cartoon Network. Apparently, when he had put an end to Space Spectre’s television show, he had prevented Space Spectre from finishing the twenty year run of programs he had contracted to do.

“Well Birdman’s no longer a super hero in this time, but he could help me more as a lawyer,” thought Space Ghost and immediately went to the offices of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

“Why should I take your case?” asked Birdman, “You wouldn’t lend me money, when I asked you for help during the production of one of your 1996 episodes.”

“That’s just the point of my case,” said Space Ghost, “I was never called Tad Ghostal, and it was an evil parallel universe counterpart of me named Space Spectre who started that ridiculous show in my name and wouldn’t lend you money.”

“I had to borrow from Falcon Seven, go into partnership with him, change his name to Phil by deed poll, and set up this law practice myself,” said Birdman, “Alright I’ll take your case.”

“Great! How do we proceed?”

“Well it seems that we have to show that the contract was initiated and signed by an impersonator from a parallel universe. When you put an end to his show and seemed to disappear from Cartoon Network for years, you were only setting things right. We should take matters further and counter sue. In fact, in working for him, they misrepresented what Space Ghost stands for, and presented you as a lame comedy talk show host instead of a super hero. Since they didn’t know it was Space Spectre, we ultimately won’t get any money out of them, but we can certainly do our best to win the case of their attempt to sue you,” said Harvey Birdman, “I’ll get Peanut onto research of your double’s old show and then we’ll be ready to go to a hearing.”

Peanut was Birdboy’s nickname. The boy had never found his father and stayed with Birdman (even though he was nowhere to be found, when Birdman was battling the Ant Ape, Skon of Space, the Speed Demon, Murko the Marauder and other villains that Birdman had fought after he first met Birdboy).

Soon the court hearing began with Mentok the Mind Taker presiding as judge.

“One of YOUR old enemies is now a court judge?” whispered Space Ghost, “That’s even crazier than Moltar and Zorak joining the production staff of that show done in my name.”

“They thought he could best pay his debt to society by serving in the court room,” muttered Birdman, “For goodness sake, don’t bring it up when you’re in the witness box.”

Opposing counsel Vulturo proceeded in representation of Cartoon Network.

“Your honour, Space Ghost not only fired his production staff, but he cancelled his own show, even though it had several years left to run,” said Vulturo.

“Objection!” said Harvey Birdman, “This tape, which I will enter into evidence (after it was found by my research assistant Peanut) is a recording of the last episode of the show to air. It clearly discloses that the show was not initiated by Space Ghost, but by an impostor from a parallel universe named Space Spectre. This means that every episode that was produced was in fact a fraudulent misrepresentation of everything that Space Ghost stands for. I will now present further tapes, which will show examples of this. I will then move for court costs, and petition your honour to award compensatory damages to at least the value of those sought from my client by Cartoon Network.”

“Objection sustained,” said Mentok, “I will view the tapes before ruling on your counter suit.”

The tapes were viewed by everyone in the court room.

“So you can see, your honour, that in the episode clips we have shown you, Space Spectre, with the help of Cartoon Network, have discredited the very name of Space Ghost. He has been portrayed as someone who burps on live television, asks inane questions of guests, encourages rank stupidity, blasts his production staff in the middle of episodes, and replaces galactic patrol footage of Space Ghost’s old adventures with ridiculous voiceovers, thus misrepresenting even the real Space Ghost’s early achievements.”

“Objection. It’s a comedy show!” said Vulturo.

“Made without my client’s permission,” said Birdman.

“I submit that my clients could not have been expected to distinguish between the real Space Ghost and an impersonator with exactly the same costume and powers,” said Vulturo.

“They have different voices,” said Birdman.

“I made an objection,” said Vulturo, “Is your honour still going to rule on that?”

“Objection sustained,” said Mentok, “Counsel will establish grounds for holding Cartoon Network staff accountable for the actions of Space Spectre.”

“The staff of Cartoon Network will still responsible for writing ridiculous material into the show, left, right and centre,” said Harvey Birdman.

“But there was no objection from the man my clients thought to be Space Ghost,” said Vulturo.

“It was still their responsibility as his producers to present a known super hero in a positive light,” said Birdman, “I enter into evidence a petition by several small children who have imitated Space Ghost’s on screen belching and been slapped by their parents and also wish to hold the producers of the show responsible.”

“If counsel wishes to represent them in a separate action, it would have to be between those kids and the staff of Cartoon Network,” said Judge Mentok, “For now, I find that counsels for both sides have failed to provide sufficient grounds for me to award compensatory damages to either side. This case is dismissed, with court costs to be paid by Cartoon Network.”

“Thanks Harvey,” said Space Ghost.

“You’re welcome,” said Birdman, “Just so long as you can afford my fee.”

“I can,” said Space Ghost, “But don’t you ever miss being a super hero.”

“Well a number of my old enemies are now working as court staff, judges or lawyers, but I do miss those days, flying in a sky that always seemed to be yellow, blasting villains, throwing up a sun shield, and so on.”

“How would you like me to help hunt down the rest of the Council of Doom for old time’s sake? Spider Woman, Creature King and Metallus are still at large. I heard that Brak’s just playing himself in a demented spin-off of my counterpart’s talk show. With me out of action for so long, those three villains have been unchecked.”

“I’ll be glad to help,” said Birdman.

“Do you realise what this means?” asked Space Ghost.

“Not sure,” said Birdman.

“It means we can both shout out our names in tandem!” said Space Ghost.

“So true,” said Birdman, as he took to the air, “Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdman!”

“Spaaaaaaaaaaaace Ghooooooooooost!” called Space Ghost, as they flew off.

“Say, couldn’t Jan and Jace have helped?” asked Birdman, “You three beat the whole six members of the Council of Doom last time.”

“Jan married Kid Comet. Jace married Electra. They’ve all settled down, and the Teen Force is no longer active, except that Moleculad still takes cases solo sometimes. They defeated Uglor a long time ago. That was when they were willing to disband and get married.

The surprise of fighting Birdman as well found Creature King, Metallus and Spider Woman unprepared, and the two super heroes soon caught the villains and handed them over to the Galactic Patrol.

*          *          *          *

Elsewhere, in Sealab 2021, in the parallel universe, Space Ghost’s visit to their time and universe had not been completely forgotten.

“Quinn! Get in there and fix it!” called Howling Mad Murphy, “Just look what that shrunken super hero’s power bands have done to my toilet!” 

Every school day at lunch, Delbert quickly ate his sandwiches, so that he could enjoy the dessert treat that was always included in his lunch box. There were vanilla slices, cream buns, apricot Danishes and many other delightful sugary extras.

One day, his science teacher Miss Stone came over and sat beside him.

“When I announce play time, after the other students have finished eating, I’d like you to come and see me in the classroom,” she said.

He obeyed her, and in the classroom, she knelt down in front of him.

“You like your dessert treats, don’t you?” she said.

“Yes, Miss Stone.”

“The only thing is that you always come into afternoon class with traces of sticky cream on your cheeks. You’ve got some on you today, but don’t worry. I’m going to lick it off.”

She leaned forward and steadied his shoulders with her hands. Then he felt her tongue sliding over his cheek.

“There, doesn’t that feel cleaner?” she asked.

“Yes, Miss Stone.”

That wasn’t all that it felt. His cheek was still wet from the moisture of her tongue, but even more significantly he could still feel the touch of her tongue in his mind. He had found it surprisingly enjoyable.

“Good, well I’d like you to come and see me in here at this time every day, but try eating more carefully first. I’ll lick your cheeks each day, and see if I can still taste cream on them. If you’re sticky, I can lick you clean again, but if you’ve improved by the end of term, there’ll be a surprise for you.”

Delbert enjoyed the licking, and did his best to be clean for her each time.

On the last day of term, she led him into a secret forest and showed him a portal into a giant school garden, where lots of giant girls were enjoying a fair.

“I came from here when I was 18,” she said, “I did a two year diploma of teaching in your land and then just started teaching at your school. I’ll be 21 in a few months. Before I’d done my diploma, I had already invented a shrinking formula, so that I could come to your world. For the first 18 years of my life, I used to be a giant.”

“Wow!” said Delbert.

“Today’s the day of the girls school fair, and here’s Miss Booth coming over now.  I told her what I was going to do, and she’s still my friend.”

They let Miss Booth see them.

“Hello Harriet,” said Miss Booth, “I bought the treat for your little student boy, just as we planned.”

To his surprise, Miss Booth lowered a plastic plate with a giant sized stick of candy on it.

“This should last you all summer holidays,” said Miss Stone, “I said you’d have a surprise.”

“Thank you both very much!” said Delbert, and took a bite, “It’s nice!”

“I’ll see you two later, if I get a chance,” said Miss Booth and returned to the giant girls to keep an eye on them in the playground.

“I don’t like candy, but I really enjoyed the taste of you, when I was licking your cheeks,” said Miss Stone, “If you’d found my homeland when I was in year 12 here at the age of 17, I’d even have swallowed you!”

“Swallowed me! Really?” he said, looking at her beautiful mouth as she spoke the words.

“Oh yes. I wouldn’t have known you were going to become my student back then. I didn’t discover the portal until I was 18. I was an orphan living in my late parents’ home for the last two years of school. I’d love to have gobbled you down. I had no idea until I licked your cheek clean the first day, that little boys would taste so nice. Unfortunately there’s no antidote to the shrinking formula that I invented here before I left. I can’t go back to being a giant. If I could, I would love to swallow you, Delbert.”

“Would you have swallowed me whole?”

“Yes of course. I was big enough to gulp you down intact. You’ve seen the other giants.”

“Your mouth looks so nice. It would have been nice to go inside it, for a little while.”

“It would have been a one way trip. Still, it can’t be done, so I’ll take you back.”

Delbert lay in bed that night thinking about being swallowed by Miss Stone. If only he could go back nearly 4 years to when she was a 17 year old giantess, now that he knew about the school and the portal.

Suddenly he felt time unravelling, reversing. It was the first stage of the Butterfly Effect.

He looked at himself more closely. He was nearly 4 years younger. It was daytime too. He looked at the calendar on his wall. He had indeed gone back in time. He walked to the school bus stop as usual, but then continued until he reached the portal in the forest, and emerged in the giant school. It was now morning tea time, and he saw a few girls sitting around talking, including Harriet Stone, as he looked out from the edge of the flowerbed. He took out his lunch, ate all of it, and made sure to deliberately rub some cream from the bun on his cheeks. Then he called out to the girls, and let them see him.

Harriet crawled in close and stared at him.

“I’m Delbert,” he said.

“I’m Harriet.”

The other girls introduced themselves.

“I’ve been eating a sticky cream bun and it’s left cream on my cheeks,” he said, “Since you have such a big giant sized tongue, would you mind licking me clean, Harriet?”

“Of course. I’ll be glad to help,” said Harriet.

The girl who would become his teacher Miss Stone gently picked him up in the palm of her hand and swished her enormous tongue over his entire face and cleaned all the cream off with a single giant lick.

“Thank you, Harriet. You’ve turned me into a nice clean boy.”

Harriet licked him again.

“And tonight I’m going to turn you into the main course of my dinner!” she said, smiling in the most beautiful taunting manner.

“Are you serious, Harriet?” asked another girl.

“I’m very serious,” said Harriet, “He’s delicious!”

Harriet put him in her pocket and returned to go on with the day’s classes. During lunch hour, he looked up at her eating and eagerly anticipated his turn.

After school, Harriet started walking out of the school grounds with her friends.

“You can’t eat him, Harriet,” said the girl who had asked if she’d been serious, “He’s just a little boy.”

“I can eat whoever I want to eat!” said Harriet defiantly, “Say goodbye to my friends, little boy. By the time I see them again, you’ll be far down in my tummy.”

“Goodbye,” said Delbert.

“I think we should tell Miss Booth now,” said another girl.

“Oh you do, do you?” said Harriet, “I’m going to walk home with Delbert in my mouth. If Miss Booth or any other teacher comes anywhere near me, I’ll gulp him down before they can do anything about it. Or you can all just mind your own business, and he’ll at least have one more afternoon before I swallow him.”

Delbert didn’t want Harriet’s well-meaning friends to spoil his plans.

“You better just let her do it,” he said.

“Wise words, young lad. Now in you go, just to be sure,” said Harriet.

In front of her friends, she opened her mouth wide and placed him onto her tongue and then closed it. Half an hour later she opened her mouth and he could see that she was sitting at a table in her house.

She took him out and placed him on her shoulder.

“It was nice being in there,” he said, “Your tongue is very big, Harriet.”

“It was only nice, because I didn’t swallow you yet,” teased Harriet, “You can expect some huge gulps the next time you go into my mouth!”

“You’ve got me, Harriet. I’ll just have to be swallowed.”

She laughed and smiled.

She did her homework and then took him to the dining room table and sat down, looking lovelier than ever.

“Goodbye little boy. I’m going to eat you all up for my dinner now,” she said.

She put out her tongue in a taunting manner and licked him.

“You’re the tastiest meal I’ve ever had,” she said, “Now I’m going to swallow you.”

Harriet put him into her mouth and lifted her tongue up and down a little, probably to tease him. Then she suddenly drew him into her throat. He was being swallowed! It was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him. He went down and down and down and into her tummy.

He felt a tingling all around him and realised that her stomach was beginning to digest him.

“Now that I know how much fun this was, I’ll always remember it, but I wish I could go back to this morning,” he thought.

Suddenly he felt time unravelling again. He was back on the footpath approaching the school bus stop. This time he caught the bus to school and lived out the remaining few years as normal, not eaten, and not meeting Miss Harriet Stone until 5th class. He made sure to leave sticky cheeks after eating his desserts in this time too, having remembered the previous encounters with Miss Stone’s tongue. 

She eventually had him come to the classroom to be cleaned by her tongue and promised the end of term surprise.

This time, when she took him to the giant girls school fair and told him of her desire to eat him, he told her everything.

“To me, you actually did,” he said, and explained how he had briefly altered time and remembered all versions of the timelines.

“And you used this … time power of yours to change things back, so that I hadn’t eaten you after all.”

“Yes, but it was so much fun when you did,” he said.

“But you’re the only one who gets to remember it,” said Miss Stone.

She took him back to the school, and said farewell for the summer holidays.

Early in the next term, she sat with him during lunch time.

“Would you like it if I could still swallow you now?” she asked.

“I think I would,” he said.

“I’d like it very much too,” said Miss Stone, “At least I can still lick your cheeks, even though you don’t make a mess with your desserts anymore.”

She secretly invited him around to her home after school, promising that she would lick his cheeks again.

After the licking, she served them both some drinks, and drank hers with a hearty gulp. He looked at her neck and then drank his own too. Suddenly he shrank to tiny size. Miss Stone picked him up and placed him on a baking tray and put it into the oven. She sat in front of the open oven doorway and looked in at him.

“I said I couldn’t make myself a giant again, because there is no antidote to the shrinking formula, but I was eventually able to find the chemicals supplied on your world and make some more of the formula, which you have just drunk,” she said.

“Now you can swallow me,” said Delbert.

“I certainly can!” said Miss Stone, “I’ll be back in a few minutes, when you’re warmed up and ready to be eaten.”

She soon served him at the table and swallowed him.

He used his time reversal power and went back to just before he took the shrinking formula and told her:

“I won’t drink it now.”
“I can eventually find another way to trick you into drinking it,” she said.

“But I can still unravel time and come back,” he said.

“Then I guess I never get to have you in my tummy,” she said, “But you must have liked it a lot, if you went back to be eaten deliberately by my giant self.”

“I do. I just don’t want things to stay that way, with me being eaten forever.”

“I understand. I think you’d grow into a very handsome man, Delbert. I like what you’ve done for me, even though I can’t remember it. Would you like me to wait until you’re grown up and then marry you?”

“Yes, Miss Stone.”

So ten years later, with only Delbert able to recall the times he had been eaten by Miss Stone, he married her.

Another boy found a portal into the giant land one afternoon in the school holidays, and saw a beautiful blond haired giant lady stepping out of her house and walking away. He wished he’d had the chance to see her, and found that time unravelled to the beginning of the day. This time he arrived in time to see her eating her lunch. From a hidden spot in her dining room, he saw her spooning a cream topped cake into her mouth.

Wishing he could have been in the cake to be eaten by her, he unravelled time again and arrived even earlier, and snuck up onto the kitchen bench. While she was checking on the cake in the oven, he managed to jump into the huge bowl of cream which she was about to whip.

Soon he saw her huge towering neck and head high above the bowl, and saw her hand reach in with the large plastic spoon and start to stir the cream. Things became very turbulent around him. High above him, her eyes had not even noticed him, given that he was almost completely covered in semi-whipped cream. She was unaware of his struggles to keep from drowning as she vigorously whipped the cream with her enormous arm and hand’s strength  behind her every movement. He knew he wanted to end up on top of the cake that she would eat, but he was not sure that he could cope with the preparation which was leading up to it. So he waited until the spoon drew near to him again and then grabbed onto the sides of it from the underside. He was then able to just ride back and forth in the cream, holding his breath when the spoon surface was underwater, and waiting his time.

Eventually he felt her lifting the spoon out, and noticed that the cream was fully whipped.

He let go, and slipped back into the cream and looked up and saw her sparkling tongue come out of her mouth and lick the top of the spoon, and then the underside. Then she put the entire spoon surface into her mouth and sucked on it and then withdrew it. Then she moved out of sight, taking the spoon with her. While he waited for her to return and pour the cream out onto the cake, he wished he’d been able to be licked along with the spoon.
He unravelled time just a few minutes, and was back at the point where he was holding onto the spoon. She lifted it again, and this time he did not let go of the spoon. His hands clutched tightly to the edges of the spoon, too small for he to see them. He felt her giant tongue sliding over his fingers, and knew that she was about to lick the underside too. He stayed in position and felt her tongue sliding over his spine and the back of his neck. It was a gigantic swish as her tongue passed over his back, and he was so glad to have stayed there to enjoy it. As she still held the spoon face up, she could not see him. Then he remembered what she would do next. If he could only stay on the spoon when she put it into her mouth, he might not need to wait for the cake eating, in order to be eaten by her.

He held on tight, and felt the spoon being slid into her mouth. He was now wedged firmly between her tongue and the underside of the spoon. 

He let go of the spoon and waited for her to withdraw it from her mouth. Then he could simply slide into her throat at his leisure and be swallowed, mistaken by her for some thick blob of whipped cream, he expected.

She sucked so powerfully, that her tongue pressed him tightly upwards against the underside of the spoon. He could not move. Eventually she removed the spoon, and hid slid over onto his tummy and eased himself towards the back of her mouth.

Suddenly her tongue moved forwards, out of her mouth, and dangled in front of her face. He looked and saw that her hand was awaiting him, and could only slide onto it.

She held him up in front of her eyes.

“Hello. What were you doing in there?” she asked politely.

“I was trying to let you swallow me,” he said.

“Oh.”

“I hid in your cream.”

“That’s alright, but why did you want me to swallow you?”

“I want a giant lady to eat me. I didn’t know if you would. So I didn’t ask your permission.”

“I’m not upset, just a little surprised.”

“Can you please eat me anyway, even though you found me?”

“I suppose I could. Would you like to be cleaned up first? I could wash you, and wash my mouth out with a glass of water, and then … eat you. Are you sure you want me to?”

“Yes please, Miss Giant, and it would be nice to be washed first.”

“If you’re sure it’s what you’d like,” she said, and cleaned and dried him at the tap, and then drank some water.

“I’ll save my cake for dinner, or I can save you for dinner and eat the cake now. Which would you like me to do?”

“I think it would be nice to watch you eating your cake first,” he said, and she took him to the table and poured the cream on the cake, and then sat and ate it.

In the first timeline, he’d watched her doing it from the floor. This time he was right below her on the table, and enjoyed the fantastic sights of her hand lifting the spoon to her mouth and her mouth going to work on the cake.

At dinner time, she placed him on a plate and sat down.

“Well I’m ready to eat you, I guess,” she said, “I hope you’ll be alright down in my tummy. You do understand what will happen to you in there, don’t you? You’ll eventually be all gone.”

“I’ve been looking forward to it,” he said, “Thank you so much for helping me, Miss Giant.”

“I guess it really isn’t any trouble,” she said, “I just haven’t eaten a boy before.”

“I hope I’ll taste nice for you without the cream.”

“Do you want me to tell you whether you do?”

“Yes please.”

She picked him up gently and put out her tongue and tasted him.

“It’s not an unpleasant taste,” she said, “I hope it’s everything you were looking forward to, but you can still grab onto my back teeth before I finish eating you, if you change your mind.”

“Thank you. But you can go ahead and swallow me, Miss Giant. It will be wonderful. I thought your nice mouth was lovely, when I was in there before.”

She blushed and gave him a kiss and then said, “Well … goodbye then.”

She slid him into her mouth and slowly towards her throat, and gulped as gently as she could. He made his way down into her tummy.

A six year old boy named Melvin found a portal and came out in a giant garden, where he was found by a ten year old girl named Portia who was staying at her Aunt Natalie’s house for the school holidays. Portia brought her dolls house out into the garden and met Melvin there every day and played dolls with him.

One day her aunt came out and stooped down and picked up Melvin.

“Portia, I’ve been telling you for days to clean up your room. Go up and do it now. I’m going to put this little boy in the oven and warm him up. If your room’s not all tidied up by the time I’ve cooked him, I’ll eat him all up.”

Portia hurried upstairs and got to work.

Natalie took Melvin to the kitchen and switched on the oven at low temperature.

“Are you really going to eat me?” he asked, strangely thrilled at the prospect.

Natalie looked at him sternly.

“Yes I am,” she said, “I know you must find that unfair, but my niece needs to learn to do what she’s told.”

She put him in the oven and closed the door. He watched her doing other things in the kitchen until he saw her come over and open the door.

“Are you going to eat me … all the way down to your tummy?” he asked.

“I think you already know that that’s the only way a person can be eaten,” she said, “It’s no use trying to talk me out of this, little boy. If Portia hasn’t come down with her room cleaned up, by the time I put you into my mouth, I’m going to swallow you.”

Natalie took him to the table and sat down.

She looked at him with no hint of mercy in her pretty but stern eyes, and brought her hand close to him. He saw her hand opening, and looked at the approach of her fingers and thumb. He felt them gently closing around him and then he was lifted up towards her face. She opened her mouth wide in front of him and moved him towards it. He stared in at her tongue and couldn’t believe that she was about to give him such a thrill as a punishment for her niece.

Suddenly Portia ran into the room.

“It’s all done!” she said.

“I’d better come and inspect it,” said Natalie and all three of them went upstairs.

The room was perfectly tidy.

“Good, now keep it that way. I think you’d better send your little friend home now, and then you can help me get dinner ready for both of us.”

Portia carried him outside and put him near the portal. There was about an hour of sunlight left in both their worlds.

“I don’t want you to come here anymore,” she said, “It’s too risky.”

Melvin left despondently. It wasn’t until two years later, that he thought of asking Natalie to eat him anyway, once Portia had left her house and gone back to school.

He went back to the giant house, but an unfamiliar lady told him that she’d bought the house 

He wished to return to that time, and then time unravelled for him, and he came to the first day of school term back then. Portia would be gone. Wagging school himself, he made his way to Natalie’s house, slipped under the door and went to see her in her lounge room.

“I’m sorry, but Portia’s not staying here anymore,” said Natalie.

“I came to see you,” said Melvin.

“What about?”

“If Portia hadn’t cleaned her room up in time, would you have really liked eating me, when you did it?”

“I should think so. You’re very lucky she got the job done in time. I’m sure you would have made a very tasty meal.”

“When you were putting me into your mouth, I thought your tongue looked wonderful, Natalie. I just missed the chance to touch it, when she came back.”

“Well you’d better not ask me to let you touch my tongue now. I’m not going to spend the rest of the day with the taste of you in my thoughts, now that I won’t be eating you.”

“I came to ask you if you would eat me, please, Natalie. I think it would be fantastic.”

“Really? That’s very kind of you. Did you want me to do it that day too?”

“Yes. I was hoping that Portia wouldn’t make it in time.”

“Now I understand why you really asked me how far I’d go with it. So do you actually want me to swallow you?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then I’d be happy to let you touch my tongue. How about I put you into my mouth for a little while, and then you can tell me what it was like, before I put you back and swallow you.”

“Yes please.”

“Are you absolutely sure? I don’t think I could let you go after I’ve tasted you.”

“I don’t want you to let me go. I’m sure.”

She placed him gently into her mouth. He lay on her tongue and looked down her throat. He felt the soft moist flesh of her huge pink tongue just below him. He slowly slid himself back and forth a little. It was surreal to know that he was inside a giant woman’s mouth, just as though he were any of the pieces of food she had eaten in her lifetime. In a few minutes she took him out.

“Was it as nice as you’d hoped?”

“Yes, it was lovely. Did I taste nice?”

“You’re absolutely mouth-watering, little one.”

“I’m glad Portia’s gone back to school.”

“I’ll never tell her that I’ve eaten you anyway. She might not respect me after that.”

“She told me never to come back. So she won’t miss me if she visits you again.”

“That’s helpful to know, but Melvin, I don’t think I can talk for much longer. I’m very keen to gobble you down now. Would you like me to give you a goodbye kiss first?”

“Yes please,” he said, and felt the touch of her huge lips.

Then she opened her mouth, put out her tongue and lowered him onto it. She drew it back into her mouth, taking Melvin with it, and gulped him suddenly into her throat and swallowed heavily. He was on his way down to her tummy.

In Smallville, young Clark Kent recalled the many adventures he had been having. On top of those (as Superboy) and his school life (as Clark Kent), he had not had a chance to revisit any of the wondrous places that he had seen. He had been to other planets, even other solar systems, to the bottom of the ocean, into the past, into the future, and even to the earth’s core. That particular journey to the earth’s core had been one of his contributions to science, but he’d never followed it up, having been called upon to save people from some form of crystal creature which had emerged from inside the earth in search of its missing baby.

It would be nice to explore whatever territory lay beneath the earth’s surface again, Clark considered. He waited until he had a Sunday morning to himself, while Lana Lang was busy with her archeologist father, and then stripped off his Clark Kent clothes and glasses, quickly pushed a wavy part of his hair down over his forehead in the shape of an S curl, and flew off the Kent property at super speed, so that nobody would see Superboy leaving Jonathan Kent’s home.

In little time, he was joined by his playful Superdog Krypto. Superboy chose an isolated spot, where nobody would be likely to follow, and then began whirling his arms like a helicopter, while his body ploughed into the earth, carving a wide tunnel.

He was expecting to have to dig for a long time in order to get anywhere, but he was only fifty feet down, when he came out in a cavern which was lit by glowing underground rock formations. Superboy and Krypto followed the caverns for hours at super speed, sometimes running, sometimes flying. They came out in all sorts of underground lands, observed many hitherto undiscovered civilizations, storing everything they saw in their super memories in only moments.

Then, to their even greater surprise, they came upon the sight of two men in combat with a party of four other people on the edge of a cliff. The most brutish of the two men was holding a large rock above his head, about to throw it at their four victims, who were backing towards the edge of the cliff side.

“Those people need help, Krypto,” said Superboy, “You stop that boulder, while I rescue the people.”

Superboy and Krypto flew onto the scene. Krypto charged at the boulder and knocked it over the man’s head, out of his grip and onto the ground behind him. Superboy came in from the open space in front of the cliff, and quickly wrapped his arms around the huddled frightened four people and lifted them out of harm’s way and set them down a few meters behind the fallen rock.

“Thank you, whoever you are,” said the man who seemed to be the leader of the group, “I’m Professor Lindenbrook. This is my guide Lars, his duck Gertrude, my niece Cindy, and Alec, a student. Those two are Count Sachnussem and Torg. They caused an explosion, which trapped us underground. We’ve been on our way to the center of the earth, to try to learn of another way to the surface. You’re the most powerful beings we’ve met down here.”

“You must have come down here before I first put on my costume,” said Superboy, “I’m Superboy, and I’m from the surface too, although originally from another planet. This is my dog, Krypto.”

They all turned to see that Krypto and Gertrude were flying around playfully together.

“So how did you find your way down here?” asked Cindy.

Superboy explained.

“And Krypto and I can fly all of you back, if you like,” said Superboy, “The tunnel I carved is in a spot where nobody on the surface is likely to find it.”

“Not me,” growled the modern Count, “I’m not leaving until I find treasure.”

“Suit yourself,” said Professor Lindenbrook, “We’re going with Superboy. When you’re ready to return, you can always find your way back through all those lands and … can he get up the tunnel you made?”

“Sure he can,” said Superboy, “I went in at a sloping angle. Those two can easily crawl up, once their greed has been worn out … or satisfied.”

Alec and Cindy climbed onto Krypto’s back, while Superboy carried Lars and Lindenbrook, one in each arm. They flew at normal speed, so that Gertrude could keep up with them, and eventually reached the surface.

“You’ll have quite a story to write at your college, Professor,” said Alec.

“And you’ll be part of it,” said the Professor.

“But please, leave me out,” said Superboy, “I don’t want a certain girl named Lana Lang or hundreds of other people asking me to take them on treasure hunting trips under the earth’s surface.”

“You have our word,” said Lars.

“Then we’ll be off then,” said Superboy, bending his legs a little and then springing into a take-off, as his arms swung skyward, “Up, up, and away!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superboy grew into Superman. Although Krypto couldn’t share his life in Metropolis, without giving away Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent’s secret identity, the Man of Steel was soon a member and in fact the leader of the Justice League of America. Aquaman, the Atom, the Flash, Hawkman and Green Lantern were soon a team whose efforts were often concentrated on dealing with alien invaders. After they’d been active for a year or so, Batman became a part time member. It had taken a while to persuade Batman to join the team, as his (Bruce Wayne’s) business administrator Lucius Fox had a brother with a very persuasive argument.

During a casual discussion over a Wayne Foundation dinner, Brother Fox had convinced Bruce (without even knowing that Bruce was Batman), that Gotham had exclusive rights to Batman and Robin. Bruce continued to believe that until the beginning of 1970, which resulting in Robin’s joining of the Teen Titans being delayed too. In the meantime, that quartet of towering talent had been well staffed by the Flash’s sidekick Kid Flash, a young archer named Speedy, Aquaman’s young ally Aqualad, and a swift and powerful super lass named Wondergirl, who had absolutely no connection to Superman, despite being able to fly and having super strength of her own.

In 1970, Superman was visiting Sesame Street, to fly around and promote the letter S, while Batman and Robin were coincidentally there also, teaching people the meaning of the words “up”, “around”, and “through.” They had just finished filming their demonstration, when they saw the Joker running through Sesame Street.

“Stop in the name of decent citizens everywhere!” called Batman.

Joker had come all this way to Sesame Street, in order to start a new crime career free of the Dynamic Duo’s interference. He was so shocked to see them also in Sesame Street, that he laughed like the Penguin (instead of like himself), as he ran frantically towards the busy street and charged in front of approaching cars. Fortunately, Batman and Robin apprehended him without any injury to either the Joker, themselves or anyone else.

Just after that, Superman finished his aerial plug for the letter S, and noticed Batman and Robin. He flew down and greeted them.

“It looks like Gotham doesn’t have exclusive rights to the Batman after all,” said Superman, “Since here you are in Sesame Street. Are you sure you won’t join the Justice League of America now?”

“You’re right,” said Batman.

“Wholly original ideas!” said Robin, “Does this mean I can finally join the Teen Titans too?”

“Sure, old chum, but don’t get any ideas about Wondergirl. She and Speedy are quite an item, you know,” said Batman.

“Don’t I know it? I read that article in Who’s Who, where the tabloid gossip explained how they got together. Speedy asked Wondergirl if he could test his archery skills playing arrows and bracelets. She thought it would be a good test of her speed and reflexes too. When they were finished, she said, ‘I deflected every one.’ Then Speedy said, ‘Deflect this,’ and planted a kiss right on her. He’s been her beau with a bow ever since,” said Robin.

“You shouldn’t read those tabloids, Boy Wonder,” said Batman, “As Bruce Wayne, I tire easily of having my private life documented in every magazine whose photographers can get my picture.”

“Wholly entitled to privacy!” said Robin, “You’re so right, Batman.”

So Batman and Robin joined the respective teams. One day, Superman called an emergency meeting of the Justice League of America. In attendance were Aquaman, Flash, Hawkman, Green Lantern and Batman.

“What’s the five star alarm for, Superman?” asked Flash.

“Six stars, if you count me,” said Superman, “Someone contacted the Daily Planet with a tip off that the Joker and the Atom were seen at a circus which is visiting Metropolis. I once put an end to a series of manipulated mishaps at that supposedly jinxed circus, when I was Superboy. I’d hate to see them taken in by another super villain.”

“But Atom told me he’d be exploring a sub microscopic world for weeks,” said Flash.

“And the Joker’s been locked up in Gotham Penitentiary ever since Robin and I caught him jaywalking his way off with some stolen loot from Sesame Street,” said Batman.

Spoiler Warning: This chapter recounts Dick Digit’s origin as told in the Filmation 1960s unsold Dick Digit pilot short.

“I know. I was there,” said Superman, “But we have to check it out. I suggest we change to our secret identities, and buy tickets to the next performance of the circus.”

“I can’t stay on land that long,” said Aquaman, “That’s why I only appeared in the opening credits of Lou Scheimer’s documentary about the Justice League of America in 1967. If Joker heads for the sea, send for me.”

So Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Carter Hall, Barry Allen and Hal Jordan made their way to the circus, and sat together under the big top.

“And now, presenting two of the greatest stars of our show: Jester and his tiny marionette assistant Dick Digit!” said the ringmaster.

As the Justice League members looked on, a man came out into the ring and began an act involving an apparently stringless puppet.

“The costume does resemble the Joker’s a lot,” said Bruce Wayne, “But trust me, it’s not him.”

“I don’t know where this would go as an act, Ann. That jester gives me the creeps,” said a man several seats behind them, heard only by his wife and Clark Kent’s super hearing.

“Be quiet and enjoy the show, Trevor,” said the man’s wife.

Clark did his best to tune out the surrounding comments and concentrate on their problem at hand. He projected his invisible telescopic and microscopic vision at Dick Digit and thoroughly examined the tiny man.

“It’s not a puppet,” he whispered, “He’s a living breathing tiny man. He could well be the Atom, wearing a new costume.”

“But why would Atom lie to us and pretend he’s on a scientific exploration at sub-microscopic size, just so he could moonlight in the circus?” said Green Lantern.

“Maybe he wanted to be a little guy under the big top,” said Hawkman, “… Okay, so I don’t understand earth humour properly yet. I’ll just have to wing it for a while.”

“As soon as the show’s over, we change to our other identities and visit Jester’s caravan,” said Clark.

So it was that they knocked on the caravan door, and were welcomed with open arms.

“Wow! The Justice League of America, and Batman too!” said Jester.

“Actually Batman’s joined us a couple years after the Scheimer documentary went to air,” said Hawkman, “He left my wife out of the show too, although Mera got a few brief mentions.”

“You may have noticed that the Atom’s not with us today,” said Superman, “And we certainly noticed that you have a tiny assistant.”

“I’m not the Atom,” said Dick, “I’m not even the original Dick Digit, although I took over the role of Jester’s puppet. I come from a distant planet, which had its entire population shrunken. I came to earth to warn people that it could happen here too. With Jester’s help, we defeated some dangerous alien invaders, and I stayed here as his stage assistant and his crime fighting assistant.”

“And you’ve never been able to restore your size,” said Green Lantern, “My ring might be able to try.”

“No Green Lantern!” said Superman, “When I examined him from the big top with my super vision, I noticed that his people have yellow blood. Your ring at best would enlarge his body, while his blood size didn’t increase in proportion to supply it.”

“It’s ironic, but the only person who might be able to help is the Atom,” said Batman.

“I’ll let him know of your predicament when he returns,” said Flash, “If you’ll tell us the circus’s upcoming schedule, I can super speed to your location with the Atom riding on my shoulder, as soon as he’s back from the sub-microscopic world he’s on now.”

A few weeks later, Flash and Atom went to visit Jester and Dick Digit after their latest performance.

“It wouldn’t work,” said the Atom, “I wanted to do you the courtesy of explaining, but the white dwarf star assisted size control belt I wear only works on me. Anything else would become unstable and break up from the size changing process.”

“It’s alright,” said Dick, “At least I get to be a circus star and crime fighter on your world.”

“Hawkman and Superman probably know how you feel,” said Flash, “They came from other worlds too. Superman’s world exploded when he was a baby. To cap it off, the remains of his planet now give off a radiation which is uniquely deadly to his body and his dog’s.”

“Superman has a dog?” said Jester.

“Yes, but we don’t see him anymore. Superboy and Krypto once flew 1000 years into the future to retrieve an enlarged molecule to save a scientist who was injured by the effects of an experiment with the molecule in Superboy’s time. While in the future, they defeated some criminals of that time, and made a name for themselves. Later, some Legion of Super Pets from that time flew back to visit Krypto after Clark Kent moved to Metropolis. They invited Krypto to go into the future and join their Legion,” said Flash.

“How did you learn all that?” asked Atom.

“Superman and I can both talk and hear and understand at super speed,” said Flash, “We cover all sorts of ground.”

So Dick Digit and Jester returned to their regular lives. Flash had hinted at them joining the JLA at one point during the conversation, but Dick felt that Atom’s size, without the weight controls would not make him suitable for membership, more of a liability. Jester felt that, without Batman’s gadgets and fighting skills, another non-super powered member in the JLA would be superfluous.

Some months after that, Dick was taking a swim on his own between circus performances in a lakeside area, when he saw a beautiful woman his own size floating downstream, apparently unconscious, and slowly sinking below the surface.

“She’ll drown!” he thought, and swam furiously after her, took her in one arm and swam to the shore with her.

She regained consciousness while he was dragging her onto the land.

“You must have saved my life,” she said.

“I suppose so. I’m Dick Digit. Who are you?”

“I don’t know,” said the woman, “I don’t remember. But I do know I’m very grateful.”

“You’re the first woman my size I’ve met since I came to your planet.”

“Maybe it’s my planet too,” said the woman, “Tell me about it.”

Dick told his whole story, but nothing jarred the woman’s memory.

“I’m glad you’re safe though,” he said.

“Thanks to you.”

He leaned in and kissed her. She threw her arms around him and reciprocated. They lay down between blades of grass and snuggled together for hours, until the woman suddenly grew to the size of a regular earth woman.

“What’s happened to me?” she asked.

“I can’t explain it. If you are from my planet, maybe the shrinking effect is finally wearing off. Maybe I’ll grow back too.”

Half an hour later he was still tiny.

“I guess that’s the last kiss you’ll want to give me,” he said.

“Not at all. You’re my hero at any size,” said the woman, and gently picked him up and gave him a giant kiss.

He felt her huge lips pressed against him for several minutes, and then felt a sudden movement as she drew back an inch and opened her mouth wide in surprise.

“I remember now,” she said, “I’m a member of CMDF, Combined Miniature Defence Force. Our team along with its ship the Voyager can be miniaturized for 12 hours at a time. After 12 hours is up, we revert to normal size if we haven’t already been restored by a return to the machine at its reverse setting. Today we were on a mission. There was an attempt to destroy us high above the stream. I was still returning to the Voyager with my jet pack, when a small projectile exploded. It missed both me and the Voyager, but it hit my jet pack and damaged it. I fell to the stream, removed the pack to try to keep from sinking, and then fell unconscious. When you awoke me, I must have had amnesia. I’m Erica Lane.”

“Then you can at least keep shrinking and kissing me normally for 12 hours at a time and then give me giant kisses at your normal size,” said Dick.

“No Dick, I can’t. I adore you, but I’ve been in love with our team Commander since we first met. He’s coming around as he gets to know me. But don’t despair. You can meet any girl once the deminiaturization process does restore your size. I’ll take you back with me and explain your situation to the others.”

Professor Carter and the Chief agreed that the machine should be used to restore Dick Digit to the size he had once been on his own planet. Erica placed him gently on the Voyager’s launch pad, right in the target of the machine, and Professor Carter activated its reverse setting. Dick grew to full size and thanked them.

“You’ll have to stay here for observation until we’re sure there are no side effects,” said Carter, “We’ve never used it on an alien life form before.”

“You’ll have to meet my cousin Lois and tell your story to the Daily Planet,” said Erica, “She knows Superman too.”

“I’ve already met Superman, and all the other Justice Leaguers,” said Dick, “They once thought I was the Atom. Besides that, I think I’ll fit in more easily, if people don’t know I’m from an alien planet.”

“I see what you mean. We understand the need for secrecy too,” said Erica, “Hey! You’re shrinking again, without the machine’s help!”

She took him back to CMDF headquarters, where Buzby Birdwell and Professor Carter discussed the problem.

“There’s no doubt about it,” said Buzby, “Just as the machine can only miniaturize us for 12 hours, it can only enlarge Dick Digit for 12 hours.”

“Then we’ll give you clearance to enter this headquarters and take regular enlarging treatments from the machine,” said Professor Carter, “I’ll have the Chief organize your key, pass card and everything else you’ll need. You’d be welcome to join the team too. We’d value having a member who won’t automatically revert to full size 12 hours into a longer assignment.”

“I … I don’t think I could work with Erica, under the circumstances of how we met, knowing about her and Jonathan. No offence,” said Dick.

“I understand,” said Erica.

“But our offer to regularly enlarge you for 12 hour periods is yours for the taking,” said Carter.

Dick Digit accepted it, but would often stay at his now regular miniature size when he wanted to be away from CMDF for long periods of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in the town of Riverdale, teenage scientist Dilton Doylie accidentally enlarged Veronica into a fifty foot giantess. Dilton was able to design a giant house for her on the edge of the town, where it met Mount Riverdale. Although unable to restore Veronica to normal size, he was able to teach her how to use his enlarging process on food. He became her boyfriend and did her shopping, bringing her regular supplies of food which she then enlarged in her house and ate.

One night on their way to visit Veronica, Dilton and his friends, high school reporter Archie Andrews and his girlfriend Betty, discovered a whole group of alien invaders meeting in the forest on the outskirts of town. They overheard an invasion plot and raced over to Veronica’s house to tell her.

“I’ll show them!” said Veronica, “You guys can stay the night. In the morning, I’ll surprise their campsite.”

“And I’ll get the news footage!” said Archie, “We’ll run it at the end of TV Funnies, after the new crossover serial where Dick Tracy meets the Brown Hornet.”

“Sure,” said Betty, “Ever since Fat Albert’s gang took on Riverdale High in the interschool basketball tournament, their manager Bill Cosby has been willing to let us include the Brown Hornet show on TV Funnies. But real footage of alien invaders getting whomped by our own 50 Foot Veronica will sure beat the nonsense news stories that Regie and Moose usually come up with.”

In Smallville TV series, the character Chloe was created as the cousin of Lois Lane. I thought, for name simplicity, and to create a connection between New Adventures of Superman and Fantastic Voyage, I would have Erica Lane as Lois's cousin.

Veronica lifted Archie and Betty into the highest branches of a tall tree, and then charged the alien campsite. As a giantess, she put up quite a battle, but was not prepared for the alien weapons which eventually brought her down. They tied her up and continued to discuss their plans to invade earth.

Archie and Betty climbed down the tree the slow way, and raced back to their studio. They aired all the footage, and then included an emergency call to the Teen Titans. In their mountain headquarters, Speedy got the message, and picked up Aqualad in a Titan Copter, while Kid Flash and Wondergirl headed for Riverdale under their own steam.

“I’ve come to free you,” said Aqualad, “But I’ve been out of water quite a while. I lose my strength and eventually my life if I don’t get wet.”

“Then climb in and revitalize first,” said Veronica, and opened her mouth wide.

Aqualad slipped over Veronica’s lower lip and slid around in her wet mouth until he felt stronger than ever. Then he climbed out and undid her ropes.

“Now throw me towards that lake, while you go into action,” said Aqualad.

Veronica did so. Meanwhile, Speedy’s arrows knocked rayguns out of alien hands. Wondergirl deflected rays with her bracelets, while Kid Flash raced from one alien to another, punching them unconscious. Robin lassoed others with his bat rope and snapped on the bat cuffs. It was just one of those tasks in the life of any junior crime fighter.

With all of the aliens occupied fighting the Teen Titans, this time none of them were able to notice nor prevent Veronica from picking up their space ship.

“Now if the rest of you don’t surrender and stop fighting the Teen Titans, I’ll break your spaceship in half,” said Veronica, “You’ll be stranded here forever.”

The remaining aliens threw down their weapons and gave in.

“You earthlings have mighty powers,” said the alien leader.

“We’re just the kids,” said Robin, “You’re lucky that you didn’t face the Justice League of America. Superman and Green Lantern have flown to several planets to stop invasions at their source. Aquaman protects the entire ocean from any threats to his undersea kingdom of Atlantis.”

“If you all leave and warn your home planet’s people never to menace earth again, we’ll let you go,” said Kid Flash, “Otherwise we’ll let the giant girl use your spaceship for a smash toy.”

“We will go then,” said the Alien leader, “And thank you for your mercy.”

“We won’t be so merciful next time,” said Speedy.

They watched the aliens take off.

“It was really Veronica who turned the tide in that fight,” said Aqualad, returning from a swim which both washed Veronica’s tongue moisture off his body and gave him a much better source of life and strength, “She’d sure be great on this team, especially if I get too dry again in the middle of a mission.”

“So long as all you do is get wet,” thought Dilton Doylie, slightly jealous of Aqualad’s new friendship with Veronica.

“I’d love to join the Teen Titans,” said Veronica.

“And Dilton and I could work on building a second mountain headquarters for us near Veronica’s famous giant house,” said Robin, “We could even have a second branch. Titans Riverdale, or something.”

“It would be great having another girl on the team,” said Speedy, and then noticing a stern look from Wondergirl added, “Especially since even the Justice League of America doesn’t have anyone with giant size power. She’ll be the opposite of the Atom. I think we’ll accept 50 Foot Veronica as a member, on one condition … That the Archies accept me as a member of their band. I was thinking of setting up some sort of disco concert business and calling it something like Gabe’s Horn, but the Archies are already a singing sensation.”

“We haven’t had a super hero in the band before,” said Archie.

“I didn’t mean as Speedy. I’m actually Roy Harper,” said Speedy.

“That rich guy’s ward!” said Dilton.

“One of them,” said Robin, noticing for the first time the similarity between Dick Grayson and Speedy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the meantime, Krypto made one of his journeys back to the 20th Century, and was flying around Thunder Mountain on a stormy day, when a bolt of lightning struck the Rescue One. The orange helicopter was disabled, and began to fall to earth. Krypto flew down and grabbed the copter tail in his mouth and landed the craft gently.

“Thank you!” said Laura Turner, the mother member of Lassie’s Rescue Rangers, “Now if you can understand me, flying dog, I need you to fly me to where Jackie and I were headed with Rescue One. Lassie and my children are still stranded up on Thunder Mountain.”

Krypto let Mrs Turner climb onto his back, and flew up to Thunder Mountain, and located Lassie and the others. He took turns to fly them all down, and from then on abandoned his role in the Legion of Super Pets in the 30th Century. He courted Lassie, sometimes assisting Lassie’s Rescue Rangers, and made Thunder Mountain his new home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually the circus owner that Superboy had once assisted grew too old to run the show, and sold the business to a new owner, a man named Whip. Jester and Dick Digit, known to be crime fighters, were sacked from the show for no good reason, and hung around in the background to investigate. Yet from a distance, they saw Superstretch and Microwoman infiltrate the circus to uncover Whip’s team of robbers and crooks. Jester was then invited to take over the leadership of the circus, and Dick Digit got talking to Superstretch and Microwoman.

“You’re the second woman I’ve met who has the ability to become my size,” said Dick, “I also met the Atom, but he could do a lot more at my size. I didn’t think I’d be much use to the Justice League of America as the poor man’s Atom.”

“Well we recently met and helped some other super heroes called Web Woman, Spinner, Manta and Moray,” said Microwoman, “Manta suggested that we form a team, but the best name we could think of was Super Six. Some other group sent their lawyers Depatie & Freleng Slcrs & Attorneys over and threatened to sue us for copyright infringement of the name. We were going to call ourselves the Super 7 instead, but there were only six of us. I don’t have any powers other than my tiny size either, but it’s often helped Stretch and me. If you joined us, we could form the Super 7 group after all.”

Dick Digit agreed, and thus was formed the Super 7. One day, after all seven members had finished an adventure together, Manta and Moray swam off below the sea’s surface again, deciding to visit Atlantis after learning of its existence from Dick Digit, who had been told about Aquaman’s kingdom by Flash and Atom years earlier. Web Woman offered Dick Digit a lift back to the circus caravan, where Jester now lived as host of the show, rather than continuing his stringless puppet act with Dick.

“You know, Dick, when as Kelly Webster I switch costumes, I like to say ‘Insects of the World, Small creatures of the cosmos, lend me your powers’,” said Web Woman, “I don’t actually acquire their powers, but it does feel good to say it. You too are a small creature of the cosmos.”

“But I don’t have any powers to lend you.”

“I was just thinking that Kelly Webster could use a boyfriend,” said Web Woman.

After learning that Erica Lane, Lois Lane and Microwoman were all effectively spoken for, not to mention the fact that Web Woman was more gorgeous than all of them combined, Dick Digit was over the moon.

This features brief plot recaps from Filmation’s 1968 “Adventures of Batman” and 1977 “New Adventures of Batman”.

In Gotham City, Batman, Robin and Batgirl were positioned next to the skylights of a large warehouse, looking down into the dimly lit meeting room of the Gotham Crime Conglomerate.

Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Clayface and Electro were holding a meeting led by Electro.

“We’ve all tried to get at Batman and Robin and Batgirl, but nothing works,” said the Penguin.

“We can’t even impersonate them effectively,” said Catwoman, “I tried impersonating Batgirl. I got the idea from the time I met a blond haired boy who looked so much like Robin that I was able to enlist his aid to impersonate Robin. But he had amnesia. When his memory returned, I lost his loyalty.”

“I found a ringer for Robin at the circus and tried the same thing,” said Clayface, “I even used my own power to look like Batman, but they won in the end.”

“Ever since I stole a shrink ray gun that Brainiac lost in a fight with Superman, I have studied the technology and built my own shrinking guns,” said Electro, “I propose to give each of you a shrink gun, and together we’ll take Gotham’s costumed crimefighters out of the big leagues and into a level somewhat compatible to the height of a blade of grass.”

“We’ve got to stop them before Electro hands out those guns,” said Batman, “Go now. I’ll get Electro’s gun first.”

The three crime fighters, holding to their Batropes which they’d fastened to parts of the roof, jumped down through the skylights, shattering the glass and swung down further. Batman was on top of Electro, even as he was reaching for his shrink gun. Batman grabbed the gun as his legs knocked Electro aside. Batgirl went straight for Catwoman. Robin tangled with Penguin. Soon the Joker and Clayface stepped in to help Catwoman and Penguin, and then shrank down to tiny size, before they could act. Batman had used Electro’s shrink gun.

Batman was unable to fire on Catwoman and Penguin for fear of shrinking Batgirl and Robin too.

Suddenly Bat-Mite popped into view, wearing the new pink and purple outfit he’d changed to in 1977 to distinguish his costume from Batman’s.

“I’m smaller than a midget,

But larger than Dick Digit,

With science fiction powers,

From Ergo’s shiny towers!” said Bat-mite.

“I didn’t know you were a poet!” said Batgirl.

“I’ll help you, Batgirl, my love!” he said, bumping Batman, causing the Caped Crusader to accidentally jolt the trigger and shrink Robin and Penguin at once.

“Bat-Mite, you have the coordination of a roto-scoped cartoon character!” said Batman, as Catwoman snatched up Robin and Batgirl snatched up Penguin.

“I’ll fix things, Batman!” said Bat-Mite, “Clayface and Joker are still on the loose.”

Bat-Mite zapped the two villains into an open metal container in the warehouse background and closed the lid on it.

“We can just leave Clayface in there until his transformation serum wears off and then get him out and restore Matt Hagan and Joker to normal size with the gun,” said Bat-Mite.

“Let them out or I’ll finish off the Boy Wonder!” said Catwoman.

“You forget that I’ve got the Penguin,” said Batgirl.

“You can’t bluff me. I know you Super Heroes don’t do that sort of thing!” said Catwoman.

“This is your fault, Bat-Mite,” whispered Batman in frustration, “When are you going to stay out of our crime fighting cases?”

Robin’s hands were pressed tight against him by Catwoman’s full sized fingers. He managed to activate the thermal control on his utility belt. He and Batman had once used them to thaw out of blocks of ice in an encounter with Mr Freeze. (Adventures of Batman: “The Cool, Cruel, Mr Freeze” (1968). The belt had been rigged to emit outward heat, enough to melt solid ice, without burning the owner of the belt.

Catwoman suddenly felt her fingers burning. She dropped Robin, who had anticipated this and already grabbed a cable gun from his belt. He managed to snare the leg of Catwoman’s costume before he could fall too far, swung down and ducked under the meeting table. At last Batman had a clear shot at Catwoman.

“Surrender, Catwoman, or you’ll be going down in the world,” said Batman.

Catwoman put up her hands. Batgirl put the tiny Penguin on the table and restrained Catwoman. Eventually all the villains were in police custody, and Batman and Robin were driving home in the Batmobile with Bat-Mite. Batgirl had resumed her Barbara Gordon identity, in order to call on her father the Commissioner.

“Well, you gotta admit that it worked out OK,” said Bat-Mite.

“It very nearly didn’t. We spent ages tracking those villains, and had finally learned their plan with a listening device I’d taken a lot of trouble to plant on the Penguin’s hat. Your crazy appearance almost caused even more shrinking pandemonium than we had,” said Batman.

“I felt like Robin-Mite for a while,” said Robin.

Catwoman’s double for Robin appeared in Adventures of Batman: “Will the real Robin please stand?” (1968).

Clayface’s double for Robin appeared in New Adventures of Batman: “Dead Ringers” (1977).

Catwoman impersonated Batgirl in New Adventures of Batman: “Trouble Identity” (1977)

The next day in Metropolis, at the office of the Daily Planet, a new reporter turned up for his first day of work.

“Alright Jimmy. We’re short staffed with Lois Lane and Clark Kent off on an overseas story. This is our new probationary reporter Boyd Baxter. He’s had television news experience in Gotham City, and we’re lucky to have him reporting news on the printed page.”

In actual fact, it was Boyd Baxter who felt lucky. He had publicly criticized Batman and Robin on television news for failing to solve the Gotham oil robberies, as he put it, only hours before they actually did solve them. (New Adventures of Batman: “Curses! Oiled again”, 1977). He had embarrassed the station with the need to make a public retraction on air. It had been the last of Boyd’s stunts that the network was prepared to tolerate. He had been dismissed without references, making it hard for him to get another television news job anywhere, least of all in Gotham. Perry White had been a fan of Baxter’s and hadn’t seen any of his last few newscasts, having been snowed under with work at the Planet. He was glad to give Boyd a job.

“Boyd Baxter!” said Jimmy Olsen, the Daily Planet’s cub reporter, “I’ve seen your report on whether or not metropolitan police officers should have moustaches.”

“And I loved the one about-“ began Beany the office boy.

“You two can tell fan stories at lunch time,” said Perry, “Right now I want you both to show Boyd around the office and get him settled in. Beany, consider Boyd your supervisor and help him whenever he asks. Olsen, you can do camera work on his stories.

“Sure, Chief,” said Jimmy.

“Great seasoned roast, Olsen!” thundered Perry, “I’ve had it! From now on, I’ll dock you half an hour’s salary every time you call me ‘Chief’! Now get to work!”

Perry went back to his own office and left them to it.

“Mr White just doesn’t appreciate me at all,” said Jimmy despondently, “After all the Superman stories my adventures have brought this paper, I’m still nowhere near being a full fledged reporter and soon I’ll be 20 years old.”

“I know how you feel, Jimmy-boy!” came a voice, “Batman’s never appreciated me either.”

A caped midget-like figure in pink and purple tights popped into the room.

“Who’s that?” asked Beany.

“Bat-Mite!” said Boyd, “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were heading for Metropolis. Last night I landed in Batman’s bad book. He seemed madder at me than he was at Electro. Batgirl and I are supposed to be dating, but she didn’t stick up for me. So I thought I’d come here and see if you want a partner. Say, I’ve just had a better idea. How would you junior Daily Planeteers like to take a break from earth and come to my home world of Ergo in another dimension and have some real fun?” said Bat-Mite, turning to address Jimmy and Beany with his latest idea.

“You can take us to another dimension?” said Jimmy, “I hope the career opportunities are good.”

“Sure, let’s go now,” said Bat-Mite, and snapped his fingers.

“I think you brought one too many of us,” said Boyd Baxter a moment later.

All four were looking around at strange coloured sky and quaint somewhat futuristic looking buildings, and a population of people the size of Bat-Mite.

“Nobody’s perfect,” said Bat-Mite, “But how’s this for a first day on the job?”

“Very interesting, I’m sure,” said Boyd, “But we do stand out here, as much as you did in our office.”

“No problems,” said Bat-Mite and shrank the three earthlings to the size of himself.

Soon on Ergo, Bat-Mite was introducing the three Daily Planet staff members to the Commander, a law enforcement official of Ergo, who had much better control of his powers than Bat-mite.

“And you’ve come to report on our way of life then?” asked the Commander.

“No. It was just one of Bat-Mite’s power control failures,” said the Boyd, “I don’t think we could ever convince anyone that photographs and stories of this place are real, if we tried to print them in the Daily Planet.”

Bat-mite and his visiting friends enjoyed the sights and wonders of Ergo.

The citizens of Ergo first appeared in the trilogy of episodes of “New Adventures of Batman”: “Have an Evil Day” part 1&2 and “This looks like a Job for Bat-Mite!” (1977). Beany the Daily Planet office boy was a semi-regular character in the Superman stories of Filmation’s “New Adventures of Superman” (1966), “Superman / Aquaman Hour of Adventure” (1967) and “Batman / Superman Hour” (1968).

Spoiler warning: This chapter expands exponentially on the Mightor origin theme which follows the beginning theme of every episode of “Moby Dick and Mighty Mightor” 1967 and also recaps the basic plot of the Hanna-Barbera 1974 animated special “Freedom 2000” (which you'll probably only ever see on youtube LOL).

Lastly, it briefly mentions most of Space Ghost's encounters with his enemies, although not really any plot detail, just a list.

Around 4000 BC…..

A spaceship lands in the middle of the night on a primitive mountain. Its occupants are highly scientifically advanced beings from Galaxia Kentron. (See HB’s 1974 special “Freedom 2000”).  They offer a primitive human a device, fashioned in the shape of a club, which can cause him to transform into a being of amazing super powers, and instruct him to use it only for good, as they intend to periodically monitor earth.

The man raises the club and his body forms powerful muscles and is given the ability to fly. He finds that it can also transform one other being, and uses it on his pet dinosaur, who gains the power to breathe fire. The man calls himself Mightor, and defends innocent people from powerful raiders and tyrannical menaces for many years.  In his elderly years, he knows that he will soon die, and be unable to continue to wield the device. To find a suitable successor to pass on the club, the old man, now a reclusive hermit, stages a dangerous situation and is rescued by a very young man named Tor and his pet Tog.

The hermit shares his knowledge of the power club with Tor, who succeeds him as the new Mightor, and protects the village of his friends Chief Pondo and his daughter Sheira and son Little Rok.

In time, Tor too, like his wife Sheira becomes elderly. However for him, choosing a successor is easy. He confides his identity in Rok, formerly Little Rok, who has continued to help Mightor whenever possible, riding on Tog rather than Ork, after outgrowing Ork.

“YOU were Mightor all along. No wonder Tog spent so much time with you!” said Rok.

“And now I need someone to take over for me. Your father is gone, and your sister Sheira has been queen of the village for a while. Soon she and I might both be gone, and you will be the reigning chief. Even now, it will need you as the new Mightor.”

“It is funny. I dreamed of being Mightor all those years when I played Mightor to help you when I was a kid. Now I really will be Mightor. I won’t let you down, Tor.”

Ork, Tog and Bolo the elephant had long since died, but Rok’s new pet dinosaur became his assistant. He too operated as Mightor (and eventually as Chief Rok as well) into his old age. However, before he could pass on the Mightor power club, Rok accidentally dropped it into a raging river, and was too weak with old age to find and retrieve it. The river carried it far away, and thus the Mightor legacy came to an end.

Thousands of years later, the descendants of the visitors from Galaxia Kentron returned to earth in the year 1966. Seeing that there was no Mightor, they decided to create not one but two devices of great power this time, and give one to a chosen youth and hide the other to await discovery. The first was a ring infused with great power, although not the same as the Mightor club. This they hid in a cave off the coast of Maine. The second was a pair of wrist bracelets which would also give similar powers to Mightor’s to the user, and enable a similar transformation to Tog’s to be applied to any animal companion the user might have. They chose a boy in his late teens named Tim Matthews.

When Tim, as instructed, struck the bracelets against eachother, he was transformed into an adult man with longer hair and a costume resembling the fashions of ancient Old Testament Bible eras. Discovering that he had super strength, limited leaping or flying ability, the ability to generate a force ring and the brief ability to increase his strength even further, he saw a similarity to what he’d read in the book of Judges about a man named Samson, whom God had empowered with super strength only as long as his hair remained uncut.  (See Hanna-Barbera’s 1991 episode of “Greatest Adventure: Stories from the Bible” called “Samson and Delilah”.)

Tim called himself Young Samson, and pointed his hands in the direction of his new unnamed dog, struck the bracelets together again and saw the dog transform into a lion with the ability to project power beams from his eyes as well as to give off a super powerful roar and leap significant distances like Young Samson himself. Unable to recall many other Bible names, he chose to call the dog/lion Goliath. Unlike the Philistine giant Goliath (showin in another Greatest Adventure episode called “David and Goliath”), Young Samson’s pet worked to help him perform heroic deeds.

Some time earlier, they had also given similar materials to a man on another planet, which had enabled him to use them as his power bands. These bands could duplicate some of the super strength of Samson and Mightor, the flying ability of Mightor, variations on the power ray discharges of Mightor’s club and Goliath’s eyes, and also enabled the wearer to become invisible. The man went on to call himself Space Ghost, named after the white costume he wore to stand out in the blackness of outer space, and was able to fashion belts for two teenage allies and their pet monkey, that would duplicate only the invisibility, as well as designing a spaceship with the same capacity, which he then dubbed appropriately: The Phantom Cruiser. His teenaged friends were named Jan and Jace, and their pet monkey was called Blip. Using his own planet’s technology, which was not nearly as advanced as that of Galaxia Kentron, he fashioned rocket packs for Jan, Jace and Blip, which would give them the ability to fly, at least for a while. They fought against a number of menaces such as Metallus, Zorak, Moltar, Brak, Spider Woman, Creature King, Lokar, Tansit, Transor, Brago, One-Eye and Lurker; and perhaps the most enigmatic of all, the mysterious Rob Corp.

Rob Corp was in fact a renegade group from Galaxia Kentron, who built a Saucer Crab and sent it to begin gathering information and starting attacks not far from Space Ghost’s Ghost Planet.

1974…

The people from Galaxia Kentron visited earth again, as the more experienced male pilot was interested in teaching his female assistant about the unique properties of earth’s “free market economy”.

At the end of the visit, she asked him if they should give more help to the earthlings. Without telling her about Mightor, Young Samson or the ring, the older alien said, “I think not. Experience has shown that our interference causes as many problems as it fixes.” (See “Freedom 2000” 1974 special again). The rest of this story will explain which of their acts (of leaving advanced technology on earth) led the alien to make the conclusion he did.

With Tim, Tom, Tub, Tor, Tog, and a Tod you haven't met yet all turning up in this story at some point, what other letter of the alphabet do you expect to start the names of characters chosen by an author named Timescrybe2?

With Tim, Tom, Tub, Tor, Tog, and a Tod you haven't met yet all turning up in this story at some point, what other letter of the alphabet do you expect to start the names of characters chosen by an author named Timescribe?

Salamandro had survived his encounter with Young Samson and Goliath. However, the teleportation device that he had spent decades perfecting in order to rob ships of their valuable cargo… Well that had been completely destroyed. Now armed only with a submarine equipped with a few weapons of his own design, Salamandro began searching for a place to establish an underwater base and relaunch his advanced piracy of the seas.

Just as he had found the perfect spot, he was surprised and disappointed to find two boys in orange-red diving suits swimming in the same area.

“Could one of them be Samson, after me again?” thought Salamandro, “Here I have an advantage or two. In that diving suit, Samson can’t snap his bracelets together, and without it, he can’t breathe down here.”

He extended the range of his camera to look through the transparent faceplates of the suits and saw that one boy had a broad face with blond hair. That one couldn’t be Samson, but the other had Samson’s black hair and seemed to have his facial features.

“It must be Samson and some new ally of his!” raged Salamandro, “What other boy would be diving way down here? I’m going to capture him and fuse the upper part of that suit shut, removing only the head plate. Then he’ll never be able to use his powers to my detriment again.”

Salamandro activated some of the controls on his submarine. A clamp extended from the front of the vessel and closed around Tom’s body (for Salamandro had mistaken Tom for Young Samson and not known who Tub was).

“Help!” said Tom, as he was yanked away by the clamp, “Tub, Scooby! Go get Moby!”

Tub fled with his pet sea otter Scooby.

“Bah, let the boy get away,” muttered Salamandro, “Once I have disabled Samson, his friend will be of no consequence. He hasn’t even brought that metamorphing mutt of his…. What the blazes is that?”

A huge white whale can swimming towards him at fantastic speed. It stopped just a few meters away from Salamandro’s submarine, bent its head forward and downward, and then blasted an unbelievably powerful spurt of water at the extension arm of the clamp, like a super powerful fire extinguisher. The mechanical arm snapped, and the controls to the clamp were severed in the process. Tom broke free and swam towards Moby.

“Geroni-Moby!” said Tom, “Go get him!”

“Breeble!” said Moby (translated from the whale’s speech with no further explanation of its meaning made possible).

The great white super whale charged at the submarine, smashing into it with his head. Several times he repeated this motion, until the submarine started to crumble, in spite of the superior material that Salamandro had used in its design. With the submarine, Moby Dick and the boys and Scooby all lined up, Salamandro slipped into an ejection capsule and left the ship from the side which was so far undamaged, and kept the ship between him and his opponents as he piloted the jet capsule in a suitable direction to accomplish this.

He had almost eluded them completely, when he saw another boy swimming towards him, accompanied by a dog in an aqualung.

“Goliath, and that’s Samson! That must have been some other kid I grabbed,” thought Salamandro.

Having arrived just in time to witness Moby Dick’s attack on Salamandro, Young Samson struck his bracelets together underwater, just once. His head and body would not enlarge enough to damage his diving gear, but Goliath would shatter his aqualung if he turned into a lion. Young Samson took on his powerful form and grabbed the capsule and swam with it, past the submarine and over to Tom and Tub. He motioned to the surface, and began swimming up.

Tom and Tub climbed aboard Moby Dick and were carried to the surface as well. Samson tore open Salamandro’s capsule and hauled him out.

“This time you’re going to the authorities, and Intelligence One will see to it that you’re put away for your piracy and the attempted abduction of these boys!” said Samson, as Goliath caught him up and dog paddled across the surface of the sea, “They’ve been missing for over a year, thanks to you.”

“I only met them today,” said Salamandro, “In fact all I did was try to take the black haired one, because I thought he was you.”

“That’s true,” said Tub, “We’ve been with Moby since our Uncle’s vessel got hit by a typhoon. We don’t even know the way home, and Moby’s now the only family we’ve got.”

“You could come back with us,” said Samson, “I’ve got a boat I rented floating nearby, and a plane on land. I can fly over the sea, so that Moby can follow and see where we end up, until we can find you a new place to live.”

“We’ll try it, so long as we don’t lose touch with Moby,” said Tom, “He can give you and  your dog a ride back to your boat too.”

“Well apart from his back, I don’t have any solid footing to launch a leap from, and it would be much faster than US swimming back,” said Samson, “Thanks for the offer. Okay Goliath, it’s aboard Moby Dick for you, and also for you, Salamandro.”

When they reached Samson’s boat, he both tied and chained up Salamandro securely, taking no chances.

“Thank your friend Moby for defeating one of my few sea based enemies,” said Samson, “Darvo and the Colossal Coral Creature and the Magnar missile thief of Evil Island were all ultimately foes that I faced on land, only near the water. I couldn’t have done as fast and efficient a job as Moby Dick did on Salamandro’s latest super sub.”

“I’m sure Moby thinks you’re welcome,” said Tub, “Follow our boat as close to shore as you can, Moby!”

With Salamando secured, Samson slapped his bracelets together above his head. To have done so with his arms out in front facing Goliath, would have turned the dog into a super lion. Instead, this motion turned Samson’s super powered long haired form back into a teenage boy. He piloted the boat back to the shore, returned it to the hire company, and then flew over the sea with Tom and Tub in his plane, and Scooby and Moby following below.

Once back in the United States of America, Tom and Tub were placed into the Hanna-Barbera Home For Adventurous Orphans.

Young Samson and Goliath returned to Intelligence One headquarters to contact Questor Two or the Phantom Cruiser for an update on the other teams’ missions.

This might seem similar (both in some uses of characters and part of the plot) to the first few issues of Future Quest.

But I actually wrote this before I read them. So perhaps great minds think alike.

Mine will change direction soonafter though.

Questor Two, with Race Bannon at the controls, flew over the position where the plane had been found with Tod not aboard. Studying the positioning of the plane, Benton calculated its trajectory in reverse, to work out where it must have been when it started to crashdive. He directed Race Bannon to fly Questor Two accordingly, back tracking the plane’s movements as best as Benton could estimate. Then they flew very low, and at last understood why the area had remained uncharted.

“There’s such a thick mist that nobody could make out what’s below,” said Jace.

“My advanced scanner on Questor Two can,” said Benton, “It will look through that fog like an X-ray.”

“Jonny calls it the Quest-ray,” laughed Race.

Doctor Quest adjusted the scanner, while Jan accompanied him at the view screen.

“It looks like there’s some sort of unexplored valley down there, and the ground is far deeper, far lower than it was at the spot where we found the plane,” said Jan.

“If someone parachuted into that, Doctor, is it possible he could have survived but been unable to climb out?”

“More than possible, most likely,” said Benton, “He could still be alive, and since no conventional aircraft performing previous searches could see through the mist, its pilot and crew couldn’t expect to go any lower than we are now without blindly crashing into something. We can see how far down the ground really is, and we can use Questor Two’s vertical landing jets to go down slowly through the mist. I’ll have to guide you from the Quest-ray scanner, Race. So go slowly.”

“Maybe we should go down ahead of you on our rocket packs and look out for any hazards,” said Jace.

“Okay kids, but no fancy flying. Just a slow descent only a little ahead of Questor Two,” said Race, opening the side door.

Before Race or Benton could object, Blip turned on his own rocket pack and followed them out.

“Perhaps he always goes with them regardless,” said Benton, “It makes me think about the risks we’ve taken with Bandit along in the past.”

He’s been happier to stay back at headquarters since we subscribed him as a taste test subject for that new dog food coming out on the market soon, and overstocked on it. What was it called again?”

“Scooby Snacks,” said Benton, “If the test dogs like it, they’ll be putting it in stores next year.”

(Well Tom and Tub’s sea otter wouldn’t have eaten it).

Jan and Jace had tuned their uniform radios to Questor Two, rather than the Phantom Cruiser or Space Ghost’s uniform, back at Intelligence One headquarters. When they reached the ground, they located a clearing for Questor Two to land in, and then joined Race and Benton as they alighted. Both Race and Benton armed themselves with rapid fire weapons, and Doctor Quest’s own version of the rocket packs, which his team had used before, and led the kids on a trek through the dense jungle that surrounded the clearing.

Suddenly an enormous reptilian dinosaur charged into view, roaring viciously.

“I don’t believe it! Not in this century!” said Race.

“We have seen surviving pteradactyls before,” said Benton.

Race let off several rounds, but they didn’t phase the beast.

“Bullets are too small to do anything to that guy!” said Race, “Let’s hope it can’t fly. Jet up, kids, Doctor!”

They narrowly avoided a lumbering swipe made by the huge animal, and then flew out of its reach.

“Hey look!” said Jan, “There’s a boy and what looks like a caveman down there riding on ….”

“From my studies, it looks like a small brontosaurus,” said Doctor Quest.

Unable to get at the four flying humans and Blip, the menacing dinosaur turned to the Brontosaurus and its two human passengers. Then the boy raised his club and shouted out an unfamiliar word: “Mightor.”

Before the eyes of the hovering onlookers, the boy turned into a man with a primitive super hero costume. The Brontosaurus turned into a fire breathing reptile and charged the dinosaur. The super hero knocked the dinosaur over with one punch, and then picked it up and flung it way off into the distance, where it fell with a painful thud onto a rocky cliffside and passed out.

“How about you join me on the ground,” said the super hero, and led them down, “My name is Mightor, but only since I found this club.”

He raised it above his head and turned back into the boy. His face was an exact match for the photo that I-1 had been given of Tod, the missing boy from the plane.

“This is Bronty, and my friend Ugh,” said Tod, “We had to get by on my old club and a lot of running until I found this one in a partly underwater cave. It turned out to be completely fireproof when we once tried to burn it for emergency wood. Then Ugh remembered a legend that had been passed down for thousands of years of a caveman super hero named Mightor with a power club. When I held the club above my head and tried saying the name Mightor, the way Ugh had heard of, it turned me into that super hero that you saw. I’ve been Mightor ever since.”

(The Mightor power club, that the elderly Rok had dropped into the raging river thousands of years earlier, had been found by Tod, who had then changed his pseudonym from Dino Boy to Mightor.)

“And boy are we grateful,” said Race, “If you hadn’t stopped that dinosaur before it got to Questor Two, we might never have been able to fly out of here with you.”

“You brought a plane! Did you hear that, Ugh! I can go home now.”

“Ugh miss Dino Boy, but Ugh happy Dino Boy have friends from Dino Boy home,” said the Caveman.

“We came to rescue a boy, and instead we’re bringing back the latest successor to the world’s earliest super hero,” said Jace, “You and Young Samson will have a lot in common.”

“I’d like to study that club and see if I can help you learn more about its powers,” said Benton.

“Now I wonder….” said Dino Boy, “If I leave Bronty behind, then he won’t get his fire breathing powers anymore when I change to Mightor.”

“We thought the Brontosaurus could always breathe fire,” said Benton, “Are you saying that it only happens when you become Mightor?”

“Yes.”

“If you remain as Mightor until we’re far out of this Lost Valley, then your changing back to Tod might not affect Bronty’s powers. He could keep them permanently and help keep Ugh safe.”

“It’s worth a try,” said Tod, raising the club, “Mightor!”

They all flew back to Questor Two and then Race flew them back to I-1 headquarters. Finally Mightor changed back to Tod.

“Somewhere I hope Bronty is still toasting whatever Ugh finds instead of marshmallows,” said Tod.

Benton asked Tod to demonstrate his transformation in a room equipped with a spectroscope and then test his strenght against Samson. Young Samson went into the room with Tod, and let Tod initiate his own change first, allowing Doctor Quest time to study the transformation.

None of them could have anticipated what happened next.

At the same second that Tod turned into Mightor, Young Samson took on his adult super powered Samson form too.

“How did that happen? I didn’t raise my hands, let alone strike the bracelets together,” said Samson.

He then proceeded to do those two things, and turned himself back into his teenaged boy form. Just as it happened, Mightor turned back into Tod.

“I didn’t raise the club or shout the word,” said Tod, “It only works when I do both.”

(Tor’s Mightor did once shout the word Mightor while flying back from a rescue of Lil Rok, but the transformation only occurred when the club was raised by a person in a standing position on solid ground.)

“The spectroscope might be able to ‘throw some light on it’ said Jace.”

“Very funny, brother dear,” said Jan, “But is he right, Doctor Quest?”

“As it turns out, yes. Both the bracelets and the power club are made of the same identical material, alien material composed of elements not found in our periodic table. They both seem to have the same transformative powers on the users and their pets. They must have been given to us by the same aliens. Do you realise that this means the same aliens have visited this planet on two occasions, and both times, it seems that they have been the benefactors of upcoming super heroes?” said Benton.

“It also means that we can’t hang out together unless we’re willing to both be changed to and from super hero forms whenever one of us initiates it,” said Samson.

“That’s not a problem really. It could even be beneficial,” said Race.

“I think we’re missing a more important connection,” said Benton, “Both power source objects have been instrumental in cases involving missing children, although Samson’s bracelets were used by the search party leader and Tod’s were used by the intended rescued party. It’s just possible that they may also be instrumental in solving the third missing kids mystery.”

“Speaking of that, have we heard from Space Ghost yet?” asked Jan.

Space Ghost landed the Phantom Cruiser off the coast of Maine and began searching the area where Chuck and Nancy were last seen. Like the mist around the Lost Valley, he found that a cave entrance was hidden by some power of illusion which only his probing visibeam (the latest addition to his power bands’ capabilities) could penetrate. He walked into the cave entrance, surrounded by his force field, with Jonny and Hadji instructed to wait outside. Just as he seemed about to pass through the illusion, it took on solid form and repelled both his force field and Space Ghost himself out of the cave at dramatic speed.

“Boy does that thing pack a wallop!” said Space Ghost, “It must have some force field capability of its own. I’ll try my power bands’ various settings until I can get through it.”

Space Ghost tried every setting, and even repeated his rare stunt of using all his powers at once. Nothing could pass through the cave entrance.

He contacted I-1 headquarters and filled the others in.

“I’ve been pontificating on a theory of my own back here,” said Benton, “If it holds up, I think our other allies, including one you’ll soon meet, can get through that illusion force field when combining their power with yours. We’re all heading out to join you now. Transmit your exact position from the Phantom Cruiser to Questor Two, when we radio you that we’re getting close.”

Benton, Race, Jace, Jan, Blip, Dino Boy/Tod, Young Samson and Goliath all boarded Questor Two and were flown out to meet with Space Ghost and Jonny Quest and Hadji.

“Could I accompany you with my portable spectroscope, and examine that illusion wall from inside your force field?” asked Benton.

“Yes Doctor, but we don’t get as close as I did before, or we’ll both be knocked back, and the force field won’t save you from the impact when it sends us flying,” said Space Ghost.

“Be careful Dad,” said Jonny.

He watched his father and Space Ghost walk towards the cave. Soon they returned.

“Did you get a good reading, Doctor?” asked Race.

“Not just of the illusion field, but also of Space Ghost’s power bands. Both of them give off the same radiation as Tod’s club and Samson’s bracelets. Whatever powers that illusion field was augmented by the same technology that powered Tod’s and Samson’s transformations and Space Ghost’s power bands.”

“Say, remember what happened back in the spectroscope room at the base?” said Jan, “When either Mightor or Samson initiated their transformation, their devices transformed eachother as well.”

“Exactly,” said Benton, “It stands to reason that if Tod and Young Samson change to Mightor and Samson while away from here in Questor Two with Race, and then Race flies them back here, they can then both initiate their transformation powers right in front of that illusion field. If the theory of shared transformation holds up, then their changing back to their powerless human forms will also remove that illusion field so we can both see through and walk through into the cave.”

“See you soon, Doctor. Hop aboard, Tod and Samson,” said Race.

He soon returned with the others as super heroes. They stepped out, and stood with Space Ghost in front of the illusion field. Space Ghost would be ready with his force field turned on to cushion them from the results if the plan backfired in any way.

This time Tod raised his club and shouted “Mightor” at exactly the same moment that Young Samson raised his bracelets and struck them together.

The illusion field disappeared, but so did Space Ghost’s force field.

“I didn’t switch it off, Doctor,” he called.

“I thought that might happen,” said Benton, “Having the same origin, your power bands’ current application would be turned off too, along with the illusion field.”

“That’s not the only surprise, Dad,” said Jonny, “Just look where we are.”

They looked around to find that they were no longer in an entrance to a cave off the coast of Maine. They were in a place that looked like an ancient Arabian Nights era.

Spoiler Warnings: Space Ghost season 2 (1967) heavily recounted in this chapter.

“I’m more convinced than ever that whatever or whoever set up that illusion field is also responsible for the disappearance of Chuck and Nancy,” said Benton, “From what I observed with the spectroscope, I believe that his or its presence has opened a connection to another dimension, just long enough to kidnap two earth children, and then used power from another alien power source object in order to seal it off from our world. The combined power of Samson’s and Mightor’s powering down transformations has broken through both the force field and the illusion, with the result that we’ve been pulled into another dimension that seems to have been modelled off ancient Arabia.”

“I’ve seen this place before,” said Space Ghost, “And not long ago. The Council of Doom, a group of my six most persistent foes, managed to blast me with a dimension ray. It sent me here, where I met two children.”

“Is this what they looked like?” asked Benton, removing a photograph of Chuck and Nancy from his pocket.

“I’m sure that’s the two who saved me,” said Space Ghost, “Or at least, they asked someone called Shazzan to save me.” (See Space Ghost 1967 episode “The Final Encounter”).

“I’m sorry, Space Ghost,” said Benton, “Because of your otherworldly status, I was ordered not to show you Chuck and Nancy’s photographs supplied to I-1 unless it was absolutely necessary. We would have been a lot closer to solving their disappearance sooner, if I’d not been so ordered. How could I-1 have known that you were the key to identifying their location?”

“No offence taken, Doctor Quest, but I don’t get it. How does my experience help?”

“If you came here before because of a dimension ray, then there’s every chance that knowing this would have confirmed that they were in another dimension.”

“I’ve been meaning to mention something else,” said Space Ghost, “I was also caught in a time warp while fighting Creature King. It took me back to the time and place of one of the earlier Mightors. My power bands had absorbed some of the chronal energy discharge from the explosion that sent me back to his time. So I was able to use that energy to reverse it and get back to my own time and place. Although it’s probably of no significance now.” (See 1967 Space Ghost episode “Clutches of Creature King”)

“You have no idea how helpful you’ve just been,” said Doctor Quest, “Have your power bands ever been able to absorb and apply power or energy before that, or since?”

“There was one time when I was fighting one of my enemies, and I was in a tank, being cut off by a Visi-wall and charged by an energy blasting monster at the same time. I used my power bands to absorb the monster’s energy blasts and then used the energy to augment my own power and blasted through the previously impenetrable Visi-wall.”

“And it could help a third time,” said Benton, “You might well have absorbed some otherwise dissipating energy from the illusion field, when Samson and Mightor broke it down. That might well be useful against whatever power is being used to hold Chuck and Nancy in this dimension.”

“Doctor!” said Space Ghost, “Is it possible that I didn’t know that I’d also absorbed some energy from the Council of Doom’s dimension ray, and could have used my power bands to return to my own dimension without waiting for Shazzan’s help?”

“It could well be. Who was this Shazzan?”

“He seemed to be a giant sized  Genie.

“And he accompanied Chuck and Nancy?”

“Not straight away. I was being attacked by a fire demon. They were riding on a flying camel of all things. Then they touched their hands together and summoned Shazzan. He appeared from out of nowhere and they said, ‘Save the stranger from the fire demon.’ When it was all over, I noticed that they were each wearing rings which actually halves of the same ring, with the word Shazzan engraved on it.”

“That could be the the fourth power source object, or at least the third one given to earth, if the pattern we’ve observed continues, and not counting Space Ghost’s other worldly power bands,” said Benton.

“But if this Shazzan has all the power that Space Ghost describes, power to vanquish a fire demon, and power to send a man from one dimension to another, then why doesn’t he just return Chuck and Nancy home too?” asked Race.

“Because he might not want to,” said Benton, “According to some studies, among the few beings with the power to vanquish a demon are God, angels;  and other demons can talk their comrades into retreating to give the illusion of having performed some miraculous exorcism. Who else but a demon could have transported Chuck and Nancy into a pocket dimension, having modelled it in advance to resemble the Arabian Nights tales from the fairy stories that it plucked from their own memories? If a demon found the rings first, used them to augment his own evil powers, booby trapped them to bring Chuck and Nancy here, and then set up that illusion field to keep anyone from earth finding their way through and to keep Chuck and Nancy from realising how close they were to the dimensional rift he caused… if a demon did all that, he could then call himself Shazzan,  manufacture one menace after another and maintain it himself, so that the kids would continue to feel the need for his help and keep summoning him, and then defeat them. They’d never get a chance to leave. I don’t know what else he might have told them in order to get them to want to stay. Demons are known to possess people. In this case, it seems this one simply took over the lives of two people.”

“But why did it only come on demand?” asked Space Ghost.

“Perhaps because it was draining a lot of its power and that of the alien ring to sustain the illusion field and the false ancient Arabian appearance of the demon’s pocket dimension,” said Doctor Quest, “Maybe I’m just a little paranoid since losing Jonny’s mother. But I’ve always felt that there was something big and evil behind all of the disappearances of the children that we were called in to investigate. I still think it might be behind the disappearances of the last two kids.”

(So sue me. Shazzan was the only 1967 show that didn’t appeal to me when I was a kid. I still much prefer the super hero shows of that year. I guess DC had to take a chance with their readers, when they had Hal Jordan/Green Lantern become Parallax too.

Plus I couldn't think of anyone else who could challenge the combined might and wisdom of Mightor, Samson and Quest Team and Space Ghost, other than having Shazzan turn out to be the challenge as a bad guy.)

Spoiler warnings: Many episodes of Shazzan are recapped in this chapter.

“Shazzan can cover his tracks every time we get close, and the kids’ tracks too,” said Jan.

“If we’re going to look for Chuck and Nancy, without arousing this Shazzan’s suspicions, then we need to blend in,” said Race, “And the only one of us who does is Hadji.”

“Questor Two’s back in our own dimension, or some of us kids could put on Hadji’s spare outfits,” said Jonny.

“In our world, Samson’s adult super hero costume and Mightor’s costume stand out. Here it’s their normal clothes that stand out. So they can change. It’ll come in handy if we do have to fight Shazzan in a hurry too.”

“Could he really be that bad, if he saved Space Ghost from the menace he was dropped in front of by the Council of Doom?” asked Jace.

“He didn’t save Chuck and Nancy. We’ve got to be objective. TWO YEARS,” said Race, “That doesn’t sound like a child safety conscious being to me.”

“Genies are only heroes in children’s fairytales,” said Benton, “Legend has it that they can be quite malevolent and self serving, even if they don’t show it.”

Race and Benton pulled their shirts out, so that they were no longer tucked in. Space Ghost asked Hadji’s help to roll his cape up into a makeshift turban.

“I still think it looks ridiculous,” said Jonny.

“Why disguise, when we needn’t be seen at all?” said Jace, and pressed his inviso-belt. Jan and Blip followed suit. Space Ghost gave his turban cape to Jonny Quest, and then turned himself invisible too.

“That’s the best we can do,” said Race, “And let Hadji do the talking whenever possible. He’ll sound like a native citizen of this ersatz Arabia.”

Benton’s sharp mind had come up with all the correct theories. In fact, since Shazzan’s pocket dimension wasn’t really ancient Arabia, it also wasn’t really nearly as large as ancient Arabia. He had managed to program his flying camel creation Kaboobie to fly just slightly, undetectably in a circle all the time, while using Shazzan’s own powers to alter the scenery they’d already flown over when they got around to it again, so that they’d meet new opponents he created for them, when they got to locations which only appeared to be new. The dimension was really just a very small circular territory. Shazzan fed off the admiration of his child ‘masters’, keeping them forever away from their family and their life on earth.

Using sleight of hand to entertain people, Hadji began to perform rope tricks and other feats in the town square of one of Shazzan’s artificial ‘kingdoms’. Using their invisibility, Jan and Jace and Space Ghost assisted the other adults in simulating similar feats, until they drew the attention of Chuck and Nancy.

“You have to come with us,” whispered Race, “We’re from your world, from Intelligence One. Have you heard of it?”

“No,” said Chuck, “But if you’re from our time, how did you get here?”

“By breaking through an illusion field that we believe Shazzan set up in the cave off the coast of Maine,” said Samson, “Doctor Quest thinks he’s been using it to keep you here.”

“And it’s not a matter of time,” said Benton, “Did he tell you that he’d taken you back to the time of the Arabian Nights?”

“Yes,” said Nancy.

“It’s not true,” said Space Ghost, turning visible, “I got there after being hit with a dimension ray. It took me to another dimension, which was a neighbouring dimension to the position of the Council of Doom’s headquarters far out in space, not earth. A dimension ray would not have taken me into the past, let alone earth’s past.”

“But what about all the good things Shazzan’s given us, like our cloak of invisibility?”

“It’s probably something he derived from an invisibility property in your rings, which Benton believes are made from the same alien power source as my power bands,” said Space Ghost.

“And as for the good things, he’s kept you here, when he could easily have sent you back home the day you got here,” said Race, “Did he tell you why?”

“He said he couldn’t return us home until we returned the rings to the Wizard of the Seventh Mountain,” said Nancy.

“That Wizard would be another of Shazzan’s constructs, like this whole dimension, like every villain you’ve fought, including the fire demon that went after Space Ghost,” said Benton, “He sensed Space Ghost had the power to leave without his help, and had to convince you and him that only he could send Space Ghost back to his own dimension. He didn’t want to give Space Ghost time to work out that he could leave all by himself and take you out of here with him.”

“Do you mean to try to tell us that for over a year, we’ve been living out a mad genie’s charade in a time and place that don’t really exist?” asked Chuck.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” said Samson.

“But he was opposed horribly by the Demon in the Bottle,” said Nancy, “And even Shazzan couldn’t get into the kingdom of Neverwas without knowing its secret.” (See the episodes “Demon in the Bottle”, “Demon in the Bottle returns” and “The Land Of Neverwas.”)

“So he told you,” said Benton, “I’m betting it was all just his own props and smoke and mirrors, augmented by the power of the ring. Even with that, he needs to use a lot of energy to maintain the illusion field, which we’ve just broken down today, by the way. Don’t you see that the real power is not in Shazzan, but in the rings themselves. If you renounce him and let us try to get you out of here, he’ll have no more power to keep you here.”

“Ho ho ho ho! Do you think so?” came a voice.

They looked up to see Shazzan towering in giant form.

“Shazzan! Is what they say true?” asked Nancy.

“If their theory even has any merit, then they could be the ones decieving you,” said Shazzan.

“Except for one thing,” said Chuck, “You’re here without us summoning you. That’s never happened before. At least, that’s what you led us to believe was the rule. It means you never actually left us, just hid from us to conserve your power like Benton’s been explaining. When they broke your field, you knew something was up, and you came into view without being called. Magic rope, gag him.”

“I gave you that rope, and the cloak of invisibility,” said Shazzan, “They won’t work against me. From now on, I’ll see to it that they don’t work at all, and I never really had to obey you. That was all part of the window dressing from your stories I read in your memories. I liked the one about Aladdin. That’s why I modelled Baharuum’s new master after him.” (See Shazzan 1967 episodes “Baharuum the Befuddled”  and “Quest for the Magic Lamp”).

“Of course!” said Nancy, “Why didn’t we notice that before? If we’d really gone back in time to the real ancient Arabia, then a fictional storybook character like Aladdin couldn’t possibly have existed. He must have been a construct of Shazzan, just like Doctor Quest has been saying.

Shazzan began laughing again, but now his laugh sounded different, and yet familiar. Chuck and Nancy had heard it twice before.  It was that of the Demon in the Bottle. Shazzan then shed the disguise that they had known all this time and took on his true appearance, that of the Evil Demon.

“I always was the Evil Demon,” he said, “The Evil Demon that I defeated as Shazzan was just one of my constructs. Although its ‘ancient curse of Wazir’ is one of MY own powers, which I shall now unleash on all of you.”

Btw althought I didn't like Shazzan, I'd love to have seen Chuck and Nancy used in a completely different context. They were well drawn by HB and well voiced by Jerry Dexter and Janet Waldo (Aqualad and Lana Lang respectively in the Superman/Aquaman Hour of Adventure also in 1967).

Spoiler Warnings: More 1967 Shazzan episode recaps in this chapter.

“Your powers are those of a demon, augmented by an alien ring given to earth for someone to use for good,” said Benton, “We don’t yet know how it was meant to be used. I can study that in my lab. Now that Chuck and Nancy know the truth, only they can use the ring. Your use of it was done either before their arrival or through their presence at any given points in time. That’s no longer going to be possible. The powers of the rings belong to them.”

“We don’t even know what powers it would give us,” said Nancy, “We only ever used it to call him.”

“That’s just the illusion he fed you, remember,” said Benton, “But here’s something. I’ll bet demons aren’t normally giant sized.”

“Then he got that power from the ring,” said Nancy, maybe I can get the same power.”

“It’s probably how that ring half works,” said Samson, “It hasn’t given Shazzan the same powers as Mightor and me. Even our devices give us slight variations on our abilities.”

Nancy concentrated on growing and found that the ring enlarged her to giant size, along with itself, so that it still fit on her finger. She hadn’t even needed to touch it to Chuck’s ring in order to experience this influx of super hero growth power. As she grew to Shazzan’s height, he lost the proportionate power and shrank to the height of a normal man.”

“What about invisibility?” said Chuck.

“That came from the cloack, one of his constructs,” said Benton, “The clue to your powers must be in some change that actually occurred in you. The ring would have enabled it, at Shazzan’s command, and he took the credit for it.”

“What about the time we faced Mysterio the Mini-Magi,” said Chuck, “Nancy and I actually shrank to Mysterio’s size. We saw it. We felt it.”

“And when I said I thought Mysterio was mean because he was an imp and asked Shazzan to turn him into a human being, all Shazzan did was turn off his Mysterio construct’s powers and make the wings disappear.” (See 1967 episode “Mysterio the Mini-Magi”).

Chuck concentrated on shrinking, and was reduced to tiny size, even smaller than Mysterio had been.

As this happened, Shazzan began to fade away.

“No, young masters! You can’t! You mustn’t!” said Shazzan, showing the first sign of panic they’d ever seen.

“Demons are normally invisible, and intangible. They can rarely manifest perceptibly,” said Benton, “They rely on mind games and possession to influence people for evil. Shazzan’s giant size and visibility were maintained by his interference with the rings he stole, which the aliens must have meant for you.”

(Benton had deduced all that he’d previously said about the alien benefactor theories by piecing together what Tod told him about the Mightor legend, along with Space Ghost’s having shared his origin story and Young Samson having done likewise).

“Shazzan’s disappearing then,” said Jonny.

“So is this dimension!” said Hadji.

Suddenly their surroundings took on a familiar appearance.

“We’re back in the cave off the coast of Maine,” said Race.

“We always were,” said Benton, “Shazzan used the ring’s growth and reduction power properties to compact a whole ancient counterpart Arabia into one cave. He might well have reduced you both to tiny size right at the start, enabling him to seem like a giant, and his pocket dimension Arabia was really just an illusion which disguised this cave’s natural appearance.”

“So we’re back where it all started,” said Chuck, who was still tiny.

Jan picked him up and sat him on her shoulder.

“You can ride there until you get the hang of restoring your size, little cutie,” she said.

Nancy’s size had already reverted to normal, or had it been normal all the time if the others had all been reduced the moment they entered Shazzan’s pocket dimension in the cave with all its properties. It didn’t matter. She went outside and found that she could grow to a real giant size relative to normal sized earthlings. It would be a valuable power in the future.

For now, she shrank back to normal and boarded The Phantom Cruiser. Some of them went with her and others went in Questor Two. They all met back at I-1 base and agreed that the best report to be made to Benton’s superiors was that they had found the kids (Tod in a misty valley near the plane, Tom and Tub diving near Salamandro’s new base, and Chuck and Nancy lost in a cave off the coast of Maine).
The secrets of the alien power source objects would remain that. Only Samson had been able to name Galaxia Kentron as their origin, being the only surviving earthling who had met the aliens. Space Ghost need not have told his origin on Ghost Planet to I-1.

After some discussion, Samson, Mightor, Chuck, Nancy and Jan agreed to stay together as a team which would not be part of I-1, nor its agents, but would be open to being called on for help by Benton Quest or working with Quest team sometimes. For want of a better name, they tentatively called their team ‘The Kentron Contingency’.

Jace returned to Ghost Planet with Space Ghost, and left Jan the Space Coup, so that she could still visit them from time to time on Ghost Planet.

Chuck and Nancy were keen to meet the other rescued survivors (Tom and Tub), and like Chuck’s blossoming romance with Jan (who would now frequently visit earth), Nancy found herself seeing a lot of Tom.

1975, Galaxia Kentron….

“That’s why we don’t interfere anymore,” said the Kentron leader to his female assistant, shortly after 1974’s visit to earth’s upper atmosphere, “After what we set off in 1967, we won’t take a chance on leaving our power objects on a planet where demons can get hold of them. Samson and Chuck and Nancy and Tod can keep the gifts they have, as long as they use them for good. We will never give any earthling such power again. From now on, they’ll have to find their own way.”

1969…

By now the existence of the new super team known as The Kentron Contingency was well known around the world. Its members included the following super heroes: Mini Lad alias Chuck had acquired the power to shrink while wearing one half of an alien ring from Galaxia Kentron. His sister Nancy alias Enlarging Girl had acquired the power to grow to giant size while wearing the other half of the ring. Young Samson and his dog Goliath used Kentron originated bracelets to gain super powerful forms of adult Samson and a super lion. Tod the Dino Boy had inherited the long lost power club which had once been granted by the first Kentron visitors to the first Mightor, and now carried on the Mightor legacy himself. Jan had left the Space Ghost team to remain on earth and use her inviso-belt and rocket pack as a member of The Kentron Contingency. Honorary members Tom and Tub had a super whale friend named Moby Dick, who would also aid the team.

Jan let the team know that she was going to be away from earth on one of her periodic return visits to Ghost Planet to see Space Ghost and Jace and Blip, as the Herculoids had invited them all to Amzot for Dorno’s birthday party.

The Kentron Contingency were not agents of Intelligence One, but maintained a close friendship with Benton Quest and Race Bannon, and would sometimes help them on request.

This new allegiance had been observed, by means of a spider-like robotic probe, which was sent by Benton Quest’s arch nemesis Doctor Zin. The evil scientist knew that, with so many super heroes now teamed up and willing to assist Doctor Quest and indirectly I-1, there was little chance that his robot spiders would be of any use to him. Samson, Enlarger Girl, Moby Dick and Mightor were each strong enough to smash a robot spider to pieces.

So instead, Zin sent his robot spider probes out on a search for a powerful ally or allies of his own. Deep in a swamp, one robot spider noticed the completion of construction and flight test of a somewhat dome shaped flying building. Zin immediately flew a small plane out to accompany his robot spiders, calling several of them to the swamp, and paid the owner of the flying dome a visit, introduced himself, and explained his problem with I-1 and the Kentron Contingency.

“I am Lex Luthor,” said the other scientist, “And I built this headquarters to recruit super allies of my own, because I’m also having trouble with Superman and his Justice League of America. You could be the first one to join me. I need a scientist to help me perfect this Hall of Doom’s time conveyor. So far I can’t get it to take me out of this time, only to fly the place around in the present.”

Zin studied the schematic diagrams, the Hall of Doom’s computer records, and the building itself, and went to work on the time conveyor.

“Running away to another time doesn’t really help us,” said Zin, “If we go into the past, we have to forsake the modern conveniences. If we go into the future, there might be even more super heroes to deal with by the time we arrive.”

“Don’t you see?” said Luthor, “We’ll go a short time into the past, just as many years as we need to go, to alter the early lives of these super heroes, so that the ordinairy human beings never gain those super powers. Then we’ll have the advantage with our scientific devices. This headquarters, staffed by your robot spiders, would be unstoppable.”

“Well I don’t know if I’ve gotten the bugs out of it enough to go back that far,” said Zin, “But it should take us somewhere if we give it a test.”

Luthor activated the time conveyor, and studied the monitor. They saw the familiar 20th Century swampland outside replaced by the most curious pattern of odd scenery. Then Luthor studied the readings on the instrument panel, and could only make one conclusion.

“According to the instruments, we haven’t moved in time at all, and yet we’ve definitely gone somewhere else. It can only be another dimension,” said Luthor.

“Then how about we go out and meet the natives,” said Zin.

The people of this dimension looked human in appearance, like Caucasian Americans, but shorter, around the size of the pygmies that Race Bannon and Jonny Quest had once tricked by disguising Race with purple berry juice.

“I wish I could understand why this dimension looks so weird,” said Luthor, “Its appearance seems to defy all the laws of physics.”

“That’s because we maintain its appearance by using the Reality Renovator in the Science Museum,” said one of the populace.

“Does it allow for a cycle of nights and days here, like the 24 hour periods where we come from?” asked Zin.

“Yes,” said the little man.

Luthor and Zin returned to the Hall of Doom and waited until nightfall. Then, on Luthor’s recommendation, Zin sent two of his robot spiders out to locate and break into the Science Museum, steal the Reality Renovator and return to the Hall of Doom with it. Then they reversed the controls of the faulty time conveyor, and returned to the swamp on earth.

“I still don’t know how we’re going to use this,” said Luthor, “The Justice League and the Kentron Contingency can still beat us, no matter what we make the scenery of earth look like.”

“We’re not going to use it on the scenery,” said Zin, “When you asked me to steal it, you knew it was powerful, and I agreed because I’ve got the answer to our dilemma. It’s called a Reality Renovator for a reason. My own problems have largely been with Intelligence One in the past, and specifically with Benton Quest and Race Bannon. The two least threatening members of their team are Jonny Quest and his dog Bandit, not to mention Hadji. So we’re going to use the Reality Renovator to replace all of earths super heroes with harmless teams of kids and pets.”

The device took some time to do what they wanted, but over the next few years, all of the members of the Kentron Contingency simply vanished without a trace. This time Intelligence One were not willing to launch search and rescue missions. Last time, they’d been aided by super heroes to find missing kids. This time the super heroes themselves had been taken by something that would therefore make short work of I-1. Intelligence One decided to operate covertly until some time in the mid 1980s, when they’d observed enough developments to see if action could be taken. With her team gone, and her romance with Chuck now impossible, Jan remained with Space Ghost, and eventually met a boy from a team of space based teenage super heroes (The Teen Force) called Kid Comet. Although they would not start dating until 1981.

All around America, groups of kids, usually with pets, were taking on the world’s criminals, somehow finding the means to unmask and defeat them. The Reality Renovator saw several such groups come into existence, none of which were considered to pose any threat to Luthor and Zin:

Mysteries Inc (composed of four kids and a dog called Scooby-Doo, who spent most of their time running or eating or debunking false ghosts).

Josie and the Pussycats (several kids and a cat).

Goober and the Ghost Chasers (several kids and a dog).

Skip, Augie and April and their dog Elmo (who also made the mistake of teaming up with ghosts).

Tinker, Debbie and Mark (and a talking car named Speed Buggy).

Lori, Gater and Lori’s tiny uncle Inch High Private Eye, who worked for the Finkerton Detective Agency with the help of their dog Braveheart.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids, and their pet dog Elvis.

The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan.

Sue Corwin and her friends, who were preparing to take a flight to explore an uncharted island by the year 1977, but were now in the early stages of constructing a powerful robot named Pops. The Pops project would occupy them for the next few years.

“Now all that remains is to use the Reality Renovator to phase out the newly formed Superfriends, and we’ll start with my biggest headache, namely Superman,” said Luthor.

“Oh no you won’t!” said a purple and orange costumed pygmy sized man who suddenly popped into view and snapped his fingers.

With that, the Reality Renovator shrank to tiny size and appeared on the little man’s shoulder.

“Who are you?”

“I’m from the 5th dimension, the place from whence you stole this device four years ago,” said the man, “My name is pronounced Mxyzptlk. I could have come here and taken this thing back years ago. I was happy to let you phase those boring Kentron Contingency characters out of existence, but nobody takes away my fun of confounding Superman. Why in a few years, I might start on his Super Friends for a new novelty. So you’re not replacing them with powerless teenagers and a dog. I could have used my own advanced scientific powers to take out the Kentron Contingency, but the only trouble is that the effects of whatever I do are gone when I go. So I let you two steal the Reality Renovator just long enough to do it yourselves. From what I’ve observed, Mini Lad’s and Enlarger Girl’s ring halves had absorbed enough dimension traversing energy to just possibly have the power to force me home without getting me to say my name backwards. So I let you take them out of existence with the machine.”

 “So what are you going to do?” asked Zin.

“I’m going to say my name backwards, which will take me home to the 5th dimensional world of Zrrf, and take back our Reality Renovator with me. For once I’ll be a hero there. So I’ll go willingly. Superman won’t even have to trick me into saying Kltpzyxm.”

With the mention of that word, the sounds of the syllables opened the unique dimensional doorway which applied only to the owner of the name (a peculiar property of Zrrf inhabitants) and sucked Mxyzptlk back into his home dimension.

“We were so close!” said Luthor, “Now we’ll have to get the time conveyor working and avert the existence of the Superfriends like I originally planned.”

“You’ll have to do it alone,” said Zin, “My arch enemies’ super allies are all gone now, and the Super Friends don’t have anything about me on their records. Their government liason Colonel Wilcox is not privy to Intelligence One’s files on me. I’m not risking exposure and capture by the Super Friends made more likely by helping you. I’ll take my robot spiders and leave.”

So like I-1, Zin went into hiding and would not clash with Quest Team again until 1986.

Luthor needed another scientific mind to assist him in perfecting the time conveyor. He managed to contact an alien computer android who had briefly teamed up with him in 1967 and 1968: Brainiac. Together they got the time conveyor working and, by 1973, they had recruited two more members to help them deal with the Super Friends. Both were known arch enemies of the second most powerful core member of the Super Friends (Wonder Woman): Cheetah and Giganta.

“We’re going to start by doing a test run into the past and altering the origins of the teenage sidekicks of the Justice Leaguers,” said Luthor, “except for Robin, who doesn’t worry me in the least. With most of the Teen Titans gone, the Justice Leaguers will have to spend a lot of time training ordinairy powerless teenagers to be sidekicks, while we build our team. By 1978, I think we’ll be ready to take on the Justice Leaguers ourselves.”

“I got my power from a chemical dust with enlarging properties, which I stole from a young apache indian,” said Giganta, “Once sprinkled, it’s absorbed into the skin and enables a permanent power of growing to giant size and then shrinking back to normal. Wonder Woman doesn’t know that I have this new power. I once fobbed her off with some ridiculous story about being evolved from an ape, but all this time I’ve been planning. Just before my past confrontations with her, I only grew to 8 feet tall, to let her think that being 8 feet tall was my natural size. I didn’t want to tip my full hand, since she was a founding member of the Justice League. Now that I’m with your team …”

“We’ll call ourselves the Legion of Doom,” said Luthor, “I’ll set the time conveyor to take us back to a time just before young Wally West (whom I’ve observed on the time scope) had an accident that turned him into Kid Flash. I’ll drop Cheetah and Brainiac off in Blue Valley, where they can make sure that Wally never has the chance to experience that accidental acquisition of super speed. That way he’ll never join the Flash. Giganta and I will then go to a time before young Roy Harper met the Green Arrow, one of the less seen Super Friends who occasionally joins them on their adventures. We’ll take care of him too, using the methods Cheetah and Giganta worked out.”

One day, back in the past, Wally West was on his way home from Blue Valley High School, walking through a field, when he came across a green skinned robot and a woman dressed like a cheetah. The robot pointed a ray gun at Wally West, which shrank him to tiny size.

“And now, like a cat, I shall deal with a boy who is now like a mouse,” said Cheetah.

She picked up Wally West and swallowed him whole, making it more than unlikely that he would ever become the super speedster sidekick Kid Flash.

Meanwhile, Luthor sent Giganta to where young Roy Harper was shooting arrows at a target in a field. Giganta grew to giant size, snatched Roy up and gobbled him down to her awaiting stomach as well.

As neither woman wanted to eat a girl, when they reached the time shortly before Wonder Woman saved Donna Troy from a burning building, Brainiac simply shrank Donna Troy out of sight, so that she might well have ended up living on an atom, and would thus never become Wonder Girl.

Brainiac shrank Charlie Parker before he could meet Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Cheetah swallowed the lad, so that he would never become Golden Eagle. Giganta snatched a young water breathing boy from out of the ocean, before he could be met by Aquaman and become his teenaged ally Aqualad and ate him too. Brainiac used gold Kryptonite on the baby Kara Zor-El, just before she reached earth, so that she would never have super powers on earth and never become Superman’s teenage sidekick Supergirl.

The Teen Titans now never existed. Time became realigned. Without having ever acquired their teenage allies, Flash and Green Arrow, although regular Justice Leaguers, didn’t share Batman’s interest in being full time Super Friends, only occasional involvement. Wonder Woman saw the potential for training two fans named Wendy and Marvin, who had named their dog after her. Aquaman was another long term member who stayed with the Super Friends. Green Lantern, Hawkman and Hawkgirl and the Atom would help them on occasional cases.

When time was realigned, other teenagers from the planet Exxor (Zan and Jayna) were taken in by the Superfriends, after Wendy and Marvin had completed their training and moved on.

It was not until 1978, when Luthor had recruited a total of 13 members of his new Legion of Doom, that Flash, Green Lantern and Hawkman decided to stick around as regulars. They were joined by the young apache indian who had since used his own growth power to become Apache Chief. Two other non-Justice Leaguers were accepted into the team, as they had considerable powers of their own: Samurai and Black Vulcan. Their origins had only come about as a buttefly effect from the time altering activities of Luthor’s first allies which had prevented the Teen Titans and Supergirl from gaining their powers. Zan and Jayna’s trip to earth to join the Superfriends were also butterfly effects which would otherwise never have happened.

Spoiler Warning: The next few paragraphs are recaps of CHALLENGE OF THE SUPERFRIENDS 1978 episodes “Secret Origins of the Superfriends” and “History of Doom,” and the 1973 Super Friends episode “Professor Goodfellow’s G.E.E.C.”

So the constant war was on between the Legion of Doom and the Superfriends. Keen to take his initial steps further and give the Legion an advantage, Luthor organized another series of attacks on the origins of Superfriends. This time, they went after Baby Kal-El, preventing him from becoming Superman, young amazon Diana, preventing her from becoming Wonder Woman, and young test pilot Hal Jordan, preventing him from becoming Green Lantern. (If they had not been back in the past in the time travelling Hall of Doom, some members of the Legion of Doom would have been retconned out of existence too, by means of negating the three Superfriends’ existences. Bizarro’s origin was derived from Superman’s. Yet a time paradox of being in the past for a while had protected him from the realignment of history. Sinestro’s clashes with Hal Jordan had first brought him to earth).

With the core team of Superfriends down to the eight least powerful members, Luthor flew the Hall of Doom over the Hall of Justice, kidnapped all 8 of them, and put 4 in the dungeon for a while, and used the other 4 to entertain the Legion of Doom by involuntarily fighting eachother.

Down in the Hall of Doom’s dungeon, the Flash vibrated his way out at super speed, and then freed Black Vulcan, Batman and Robin. They took the opportunity to examine the Legion of Doom’s computer files, and learned of the plan to avert the existences of Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern, of whom they now had no memory. Using their own individual approaches, the four heroes went back in time and restored that much of the past, so that Superman and Wonder Woman and Green Lantern once again existed and helped free Apache Chief, Samurai, Aquaman and Hawkman from the Legion of Doom.

Shortly after that, they had a few more clashes with the Legion of Doom, the last of which involved a plan that would have backfired on Luthor’s team too and left the whole planet of earth in desolation. But for the timely assistance of some new visitors from Kentron, things could have been very bleak.

Superman called a meeting of the Superfriends, and invited their one time ally Plastic Man to join them, as well as calling in Atom, Hawkgirl, Rima and Green Arrow.

“We’ve been fighting a losing battle to stop the Legion altogether and bring them to justice. The most we’ve done is eventually defeated each of their schemes after it’s first taken us by surprise,” said Superman, “We need to take the fight to them. Since Flash and the other three learned key facts about the Legion of Doom’s tactics by looking at their computer files, I feel that we need to send a team to sneak aboard the Hall of Doom and study their computers in depth.”

“I can vibrate in again,” said Flash, “And Atom’s small enough to slip in, especially if he shrinks even smaller for a while. And we know computers well in our secret identities as scientists.”

“And Plastic Man can alter his shape and get in as well,” said Batman, “It was useful when he helped us get that mouse out of the GEEC, when it was fouling up the computer’s automation of every device on earth.”

So Plastic Man, Atom and Flash secretly snuck into the Hall of Doom’s basement, while the rest of the Superfriends kept the Legion of Doom distracted and busy by foiling their attempted robberies and other publicly criminal acts.

Later the three computer breakers met the rest of the Superfriends in the Hall of Justice.

“Zan and Jayna, Apache Chief, Samurai and Black Vulcan, can you patrol the city for us during our meeting?” asked Flash.

“We’ll be glad to,” said Zan, and they both left.

“Why did you send the Wondertwins and the others away?” asked Robin, “Don’t they need to hear this too?”

“Because they mustn’t hear what we’ve got to tell you. They mustn’t learn that their presence on this team was never meant to be. You won’t believe what we discovered in Luthor’s old files, dating back to before the Legion was formed, when he only had the Hall of Doom and Cheetah and Giganta and Brainiac,” said Flash, “Fill them in, Atom.”

“Their tampering with the origins of Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern wasn’t the first time they’d messed up the past,” said Atom, “According to records, a number of us had teenage sidekicks who no longer exist, because those first four villains disposed of them in ways which will hurt you a lot. The Wondertwins and the others’ presence here is just time’s way of compensating, to coin a phrase. But we can go back and change the past back to its correct history again, as we did before. When we do, the ones patrolling the city right now will never be Superfriends. Although they will still have super hero careers in their own countries or planet.”

Flash and Atom filled the others in on the altered pasts of Kid Flash, Wondergirl, Speedy, Aqualad, Golden Eagle and Supergirl.

“Well it’s a cinch that I can’t help save this cousin I’m supposed to have,” said Superman, “or the gold Kryptonite would permanently remove my powers.”

“And I can’t do anything with gold kryptonite, since it’s coloured yellow,” said Green Lantern.”

“I’ll go with Batman and Robin in the Batrocket, since it can pierce the time barrier, “I’ll snare the kryptonite with my golden lasso, and destroy it with my strength, while Batman and Robin use their devices against Brainiac’s,” said Wonder Woman.

“I’ll go to the point where Giganta ate Aqualad and stop her,” said Superman.

“I’ll time travel under my own power with Atom and save Roy Harper,” said Flash, “But first I’ll use my cosmic treadmill to drop Plastic Man and Green Arrow off at the point where Wonder Girl will need rescuing.”

“Sure. I’ll have a special arrow ready to shoot Brainiac’s shrink gun out of his hand,” said Green Arrow.

“And I’ll wrap him up in my plastic arms before he can regain it,” said Plastic Man.

“Hawkman, Hawkgirl and Rima and I can fix Kid Flash’s and Golden Eagle’s timelines, using my power ring for time travel,” said Green Lantern, “I’ll drop the Hawks off in Blue Valley, and then Rima and I can go for Golden Eagle. That way none of us will be involved in the rescues of our own sidekicks, although I don’t have one. It will avoid any paradoxical meetings.”

So they went back in time and restored the origins of the Teen Titans and Supergirl, with the result that one factor differed from either of the previous two timelines. This time, instead of being a part time member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, by periodically flying into the 30th Century, Supergirl remained in the present all the time as a member of the Teen Titans. Wendy, Marvin, Wonderdog, Zan, Jayna, Gleek, Black Vulcan, Apache Chief and Samurai never joined the Superfriends. The team was now a composite of the Justice League of America and the Teen Titans, still retaining its Gotham based Hall of Justice as a meeting place.

“But can’t Luthor just take his Legion back in time and start wiping out our pasts all over again?” asked Robin.

“Not easily,” said Batman, “Members of the Legion of Doom can’t reappear in the past in the same places and times which they’ve already visited. They mustn’t meet themselves in the past. That’s why we were meticulous about avoiding any run-ins with our own past selves, by not going to the rescue of our own sidekicks but rather each others’.”

“It won’t help them to try anyway,” said Atom, “Flash is familiar with time travel technology because of his cosmic treadmill, and I’ve used professor Hyatt’s time pool many times. We rigged the Hall of Doom’s time conveyor to self destruct and start a chain reaction that will destroy the whole building if they try to use the time conveyor again. I programmed the computer to send them an audible warning to evacuate with a five minute countdown. After that, Bizarro and Sinestro might otherwise be the only ones to survive their not heeding the warning.”

A few other reverse butterfly effects from restoring the timeline to normal were: that a brand new composite super hero named Firestorm would join the Superfriends in 1979 instead of 1984. El Dorado would not join in 1982, and Victor Stone would never have the accident which left him in a Cyborg body, and would thus never join the renamed Super Powers Team in 1985.

In Thunderbird Five, John Tracy was tuned into every radio frequency in the world, and was on regular monitor duty, listening for any calls for help, or indirect indications that International Rescue might be needed.

Soon it came:  a desperate message.

“Calling International Rescue… Calling International Rescue. This is Central Coast Diving Society. We desperately need your help.”

John reached for a microphone.

“Go ahead, Diving Society. This is International Rescue.”

“Two of our divers were exploring a coastal underwater cave, when they radioed us in trouble. They said that they have been prevented from leaving the cave by a shark too large to follow them into the cave. When their air supply runs out, they will be trapped breathless and still watched by the shark. The water is too shallow for us to send any rescue craft of our own.”

“We understand, Diving Society. What is your exact location?” said John Tracy.

“Just outside Terrigal Beach.”

“We’ll be there with help as soon as we can,” said John.

On earth, at Tracy Island, Jeff Tracy and Scott and Virgil were in the lounge room at the time John called with the news.

“Virgil, tell Gordon and Brains we need them up here now,” said Jeff.

“Fetch And Bring,” said Virgil, and left the room.

“Now, let’s see,” said Jeff, “Speed is of the essence, and we can’t use Thunderbird Four in that area. But our aquanaut is still the best person to handle this job. Scott can take Gordon there in Thunderbird One as soon as Brains has loaded whatever he thinks we should use from our equipment, in order to handle the sharks.

Gordon and Brains arrived in time for a recap of the situation. Brains and Virgil and Alan were soon transferring equipment from Pod Four’s Thunderbird Four in Thunderbird Two hanger into Thunderbird One.

Scott stood against a wall panel and held onto two bars beside his head. His father pressed a button. The panel rotated, and Scott was soon watching the sliding platform which led to Thunderbird One. The panel rotated back, and Gordon took the rare opportunity to repeat Scott’s boarding sequence. Gordon looked down and saw Virgil and Alan and Brains leaving Thunderbird One Silo in a small tram like craft that had last been used to give two boys a tour of International Rescue in order to explain the need for them to avoid using their radios to play International Rescue games.

As soon as the silo was cleared and Gordon was aboard, Scott moved the controls, which sent the great ship sliding down a sloping underground pathway and onto the launching pad. Scott took off, with Gordon in the passenger seat which had once been used by Brains, and headed for Terrigal Beach, Australia.

Thunderbird One reached the spot quickly, and spread its blue wings and prepared to land vertically on the shore. Suddenly the craft sustained an artillery shot. Both Scott and Gordon were injured, as Scott overshot the shore and lightly crash landed in the shallow water. Then they heard an electronically magnified voice from a hand held device.

“The Central Coast Diving Society was just a farce to lure you here, International Rescue. You will leave your craft and hand it over to us.”

Oh to suffer the Strings and Cannons of outrageous fortune.

“They can’t do us too much damage. They want Thunderbird One,” said Scott. Let’s see if the gun still works. Scott pressed a button and found that the gun turret was underwater.

“We’ll have to use our hover bikes,” said Gordon.

“Not yet,” said Scott, “Let’s get the lie of the land first.”

Scott sent the remote control flying camera out of Thunderbird One and over towards the shore, where he saw three men manning a cannon.

“It’s such a simplistic set-up,” said Gordon, “They only disabled us, because they took us by surprise.”

“I know,” said Scott, “We didn’t crash hard enough to impair our take off and flight capabilities. I just don’t think I can walk too well now. But the moment we lift off, they’ll fire another round. Let’s sneak out the far side with the hover bikes and get as close as we can to them. Then we’ll use the hover bike canons. I’m going to call Dad first. We may need help from Thunderbird Two.”

Soon Jeff Tracy was talking to his son.

“Virgil, Brains and Alan are on their way, with Pod 2 and the repair equipment, in case you do need the ship repaired for the flight home. Be careful, boys. You’ve been ambushed by Thunderbird seekers before, but don’t take any careless chances.”

“F.A.B. Dad,” said Scott, and opened the side door of Thunderbird One.

He and Gordon made their way to the hover bikes and headed away from the shore at first, using Thunderbird One for cover, and then snuck around and surprised the villains. Gordon fired a shot that would have killed a giant alligator. The cannon was completely destroyed, and the villains shaken up with similar injuries. They weren’t going anywhere. Jeff had promised to send the local authorities to help. They would arrive only in time to cart the criminals away. Many people around the world owed their very lives to International Rescue, and these men would not be looked on favourably by any court.

“Thank goodness we got the drop on them,” said Scott, “We’re far too injured to get off these bikes and fight them with hand guns or fists.”

“Scott, I didn’t want to worry you before, but … I’m starting to cave in,” said Gordon.

“Can you make it back to Thunderbird One?”

“I think so. But I feel sure I’ll pass out when I do.”

Scott led Gordon quickly back to the ship, and waited for Thunderbird Two to arrive. Brains looked over the ship and said that it would be alright to attempt a return flight, but only with Thunderbird Two flying close by in case of trouble.

“I think I should take Thunderbird One,” said Alan, “That way Brains can look after Scott and Gordon in Pod 2. Scott’s had a rough time of it, and I’ve piloted Thunderbird One before, when we went to the drilling rig.”

“I’ll check with Dad,” said Virgil, and soon got Jeff Tracy’s approval.

Scott and Gordon were both so badly injured, that they had to go to a mainland hospital for a month of surgery, nursing and recovery. They explained their injuries as a flying accident. 

On Spectrum Cloudbase, Colonel White and the members of Spectrum heard an ominous voice, that they were all only too aware was coming from the Martian invaders who had been threatening earth for some time:

“This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us, earth men. We will no longer confine our attacks to the Spectrum organisation and earth’s defences. We will launch a pair of simultaneous attacks against the World Aquanaut Security Patrol and the London Agent of International Rescue. We are stepping up our campaign which will lead to the total annihilation of all life forms on the planet known as earth. You will pay for your unprovoked attack on our planet Mars.”

“If they only knew what hypocrites they were!” said Captain Blue, “The first Zero X mission to Mars mistook the Mysterons for pieces of rock and were just trying to cut off a sample with the laser gun. After being so badly damaged that Zero X needed International Rescue’s help to save the crew, they were reluctant to return to Mars. The later Zero X mission, manned by Spectrum this time, had three men who were more cautious and alert. Expecting an attack, they mistook a movement in the Mysteron complex for a rising weapon, and naturally fired first. For that one mistake, we’ve seen so many people murdered and replaced with Mysteron duplicates who worked against us.”

“I know it’s unfair,” said Colonel White, “But we can only do our best to stop them. I didn’t even know International Rescue had a London agent. We’ll call International Rescue and warn them, but we won’t know where to find their agent to provide our protection, and they’re not likely to tell us. We’ll have to hope we can do more for W.A.S.P.”

Deep beneath the surface of the sea, the unseen force of the Mysterons’ power killed Titan and his surface agent X-2-Zero. These two Aquaphibians had been plotting and implementing endless schemes and attacks against the World Aquanaut Security Patrol. Now they had been replaced by two Mysteron duplicates, who had observed X-2-Zero’s ability to disguise himself and infiltrate Marineville.  Now they used Mysteron science, and the duplicate X-2-Zero’s disguise skills to lure Troy Tempest, Phones and Marina out in Stingray, where the Mysterons’ powers attacked the ship and stranded it at the bottom of the sea, completely immobile, at a depth where no other craft could reach them … except one.

At Marineville, Commander Shore called International Rescue for help.

“Thunderbird Four could do it, Dad, but none of us has Gordon’s skill to pilot the craft at that depth and tow Stingray back to Marineville where the team could evacuate Stingray safely,” said Virgil.

“I guess we just can’t help. I’ll contact all the known government channels and see if anyone else has the resources,” said Jeff, “We can’t put an untrained person in Thunderbird Four to risk their life and end up having to rescue them too. In the light of what Spectrum told us, we’ve also got to worry about what might happen to Penelope. We don’t want to spread ourselves too thin.”

“Shouldn’t we guard her?” said Alan.

“We can’t just land a Thunderbird on her estate without drawing even more trouble than we’ve got,” said Jeff, “Parker’s with her, and FAB1 has a good arsenal of devices designed by Brains.”

Soon Jeff Tracy received an offer of help from Shane Weston of World Intelligence Network.

“Mr Tracy, we have just as much need as you to protect our own secrecy,” said Weston, “We should be able to trust each other. We have a device which could record the brain pattern of your injured aquanaut and then transfer them into our agent. We normally keep the recordings, but in this case we’ll destroy them as soon as the WASP rescue is done.”

“We’ve always avoided putting our privacy ahead of an endangered life,” said Jeff, “We’ll tell you where to meet our man for the brain pattern recording, and then Thunderbird Two will take your agent to the danger zone.”

Gordon checked out of the hospital, still in no condition to pilot Thunderbird Four through a complex rescue, but able to meet the others to carry out the rescue plan by remote control. In an isolated landing strip, Gordon met the approaching Thunderbird Two with Pod Four. They waited for the approach of the World Intelligence Network operators, namely Sam Louvre, ‘Mac” McClaine and his ten year old son Joe.

“I’m surprised you brought your child on this trip,” said Virgil, “Do you really let him in on your agent’s activities?”

“He IS our agent,” said Sam.

“But he’s just a kid,” said Gordon, “How can he pilot the most advanced underwater craft except possibly for Stingray itself?”

“He’s not a kid when he has brain patterns,” said Mac, “Believe me, I wouldn’t risk my own son if I hadn’t seen the success of every mission he’s ever done.”

Sam and Mac set up the recording gear, and recorded Gordon Tracy’s brain pattern. Then they raced back to the McLaine house and sat Joe in the B.I.G.R.A.T. and got Joe ‘brained up’ with Gordon’s knowledge of Thunderbird Four.

“Okay Joe. Thunderbird Two’s waiting,” said Sam.

“F.A.B.” said Joe.

“What?” asked Mac.

“It’s something he says a lot,” said Joe, “Maybe it means Fashion Apparently Blue.”

Joe boarded Thunderbird Two, and was flown to a spot just above the reported position of Stingray. Virgil dropped Pod Four from Thunderbird Two. It hit the surface, and opened a flap and released a small track which led from the Pod to the water. Thunderbird Four was soon sliding into the sea and descending. Soon Joe 90 used the controls to extend two magnetic clamps towards Stingray, and pushed the craft back to Marineville, much to the joy and relief of Atlanta, who had been in love with Troy Tempest for some time and recently learned of his reciprocating commitment. Phones had finally felt that he could admit his feelings for Marina, without upsetting Troy.

Joe returned to the B.I.G.R.A.T. and was soon his usual self. Sam handed the brain recording over to Virgil. Marineville were not told of W.I.N.’s involvement in the rescue. With their plan to destroy Stingray and her crew defeated, the Mysteron versions of Titan and his stooge left earth for Mars. One thing was certain. Marineville would have to take stock of the Mysteron threat, but they’d never again be bothered by Titan.

Meanwhile, in order to carry out the other part of their attack, the Mysterons killed and duplicated the man with the best resources to attack Lady Penelope … namely Masterspy. With Mysteron knowledge of Lady Penelope’s location, the fake Masterspy attacked her mansion before she or Parker could even get near FAB1.

“Milady, look!” said Parker, suddenly, pointing out the window.

Approaching the estate was a man in a flying car!

“Even FAB1 can’t do that,” said Penelope, “It looks as though Virgil and Alan won’t make it in time to help us.”

To their pleasant surprise, Mike Mercury dived at the Mysteronized Masterspy with Supercar and soon cornered him with help from Parker.

“You’ll never beat us, earth men!” said Mysteron Masterspy, and simply disappeared.

“I’d been trailing him for hours. He’s my number one concern,” said Mercury, “But I never knew he could do that.”

“I don’t think that was the man you know,” said Lady Penelope Creighton Ward, “I think it’s time that the world’s best organisations pooled their resources. I’m going to suggest it to Jeff Tracy.”

Like Titan, the real Masterspy would be no more threat to Mike Mercury.

One positive thing came out of the recent increased level of Mysteron threat and action. International Rescue had, in the events already detailed, created positive working relationships with several of earth’s intelligence organisations. WASP, WIN, Mike Mercury and Spectrum had all worked with International Rescue. Jeff Tracy spoke to Colonel White and suggested it would be wise to get all of the known sympathetic organisations to pool their resources to find a way to stop the Mysteron attacks once and for all.

“Well there are only two other teams that should be let in on our alliance,” said Colonel White, “The British Intelligence Secret Headquarters Operation Priest. I’ll get in contact with the B.I.S.H.O.P. and Steve Zodiac and then invite representatives from each organisation to be flown to Cloudbase for strategy talks.”

Father Stanley Unwin only doubled as a secret agent on special assignments for B.I.S.H.O.P. for the rest of the time, he was the Senior Minister and regular preacher at a beautiful English country church, which had lasted for centuries, when many other buildings had given way to modern architecture and urban expansion. Right now, he was finishing a sermon for his attentive congregation.

“So in conclusion, can I say that God is calling everyone to turn to Jesus and repent. All have sinned and fall short of God’s expectations to be deserving of eternal life. God’s son Jesus lived a perfect life on earth and paid the price for those sins on the cross. When he raised himself from death, he went to prepare the kingdom of eternal life in heaven for all those who accept him as their Lord and Saviour. All you need to do is invite him into your hearts. Look around us in the world. There are frequent freak weather conditions, natural disasters, crime on the rise, the boundaries of marriage ignored and disrespected to so many people’s pain, murders in the news all the time, terrorist attacks and so on. These are the signs of the end as prophecied in the Bible. The Devil knows that his time is short, after 6000 years of rebelling against God since he was kicked out of heaven for starting a war against his creator. He has been taking it out on God’s people ever since, but he knows the world is soon facing the end of time and the return of Jesus to judge all and save his people. So if you’d like to become one of his people, stand with me now and invite Jesus into your life.”

As soon as the altar call was over, Matthew walked into the church and watched Father Unwin take his seat.

“I’ve had a call from Spectrum!” he whispered excitedly, “We’re needed like never before, Father.”

“Oh nortyinteruptylode of a lostymornyteabold,” mumbled Father Unwin.

“Speaking in tongues again, Father,” whispered Matthew.

“You know from my past sermons that the gift of tongues isn’t gibberish. It’s the ability to hear a foreign preacher in your own native language, to help the spread of the gospel and the growth of the church,” said Father Unwin, “I only feign gibberish as a code for you to follow on our missions.”

Soon a meeting was held at Cloudbase convened by Colonel White. In attendance were Jeff Tracy & Hirum Hackenbacker aka Brains (of International Rescue), Commander Shore and his daughter Atlanta (of W.A.S.P.), Shane Weston and Sam Louvre (of W.I.N.), Mike Mercury (pilot of Supercar), Steve Zodiac and Venus (of Space City), Father Unwin and Matthew (of B.I.S.H.O.P.), and finally Colonel White and Captain Scarlet (of Spectrum).

 Several secrets were laid out on the table, lest earth simply have none left to protect after a final conflict with the Mysterons.

Hirum Hackenbacker came up with a master plan.

“I believe I can modify the shrinking device that Father Unwin uses to conceal Matthew on his assignments,” said Brains, “I can increase its capability dramatically, so that it could shrink an entire planet and its population right out of discernible existence. They’d still be alive in a plane so small that they would pose no more relevant a threat. Then International Rescue would use Thunderbird Three to transport me and the device to Space City, where I would help their technicians to fit it to Fireball XL-5’s armoury. Then Steve and Venus and their Robot would take it into position to shrink the planet Mars and all the Mysterons. Then we’ll reverse all of the modifications to restore the device with its original reduction and enlargement capacity to Father Unwin.”

“Shrink the whole planet and its population,” summed up Colonel White, “It’s a daring plan. In the mean time, Spectrum, W.I.N. and W.A.S.P. could cope with any coming Mysteron threats, and keep them busy thinking that we’re dealing with those, so that they don’t suspect our real plan. I don’t fully understand the Mysterons’ power for observing us though, or how much it depends on Captain Black’s whereabouts.  They may yet get wind of our plans. I think that Steve Zodiac and Venus should take Captain Scarlet and Captain Magenta with them to Space City now, and have them accompany the regular Fireball team on the mission to shrink Mars.”

“WIN will provide our regular agents,” said Sam Louvre, “I can’t put a ten year old boy at risk of being killed and replaced by a Mysteron. He’s used to doing temporary replacements himself.”

Alan Tracy had just recently taken over from John for the monitor duty, which they shared in monthly cycles in Thunderbird Five.

Father Unwin explained the shrinking device’s principles as best he could to Brains, who then took it back with Jeff to Tracy Island, modified it, and loaded it aboard Thunderbird Three. John sat on a couch in the Tracy lounge room, which began descending on a moving pole, at the touch of a button from Jeff Tracy. Soon the couch reached an underground conveyance and moved sideways to another pole and was raised into the lower cockpit of Thunderbird Three, where Brains was waiting … with one more passenger: Braman his robot.

John took Thunderbird Three’s elevator up to the upper control room and launched the great craft out of its silo and through a circular recreation complex with perfect accuracy, up into the clouds and then into space, until it reached Space City.

“I brought along a robot of my own,” said Brains to Steve, “I’ve tested him against my own chess playing abilities, and his calculations helped us on the Sun Probe rescue, when we suffered complications. I’d like to see how he interacts with your robot.”

Cue song:

I'd fly you 'round the Milky Way,

With stardust in your eyes,

And Father Unwin may just say

What will prosthetilize.

Way out among the team-ups,

Both here to entertain

And out do Scotty's beam-ups,

While challenging the brain....

Now for romance, and some harmless shrinking…

Eventually Fireball XL-5 was armed with Father Unwin’s now modified shrinking Bible. Steve and Venus and Captain Scarlet and Captain Magenta flew Fireball into striking distance of Mars and fired the device.

“It’s unbelievable. It’s reducing the whole planet just as International Rescue said it would,” said Captain Magenta.

This time the Mysterons were the ones caught off guard. Within a very short time, the planet was shrunken right out of sight.

Captain Black contacted Spectrum and said that he was now no longer under the Mysteron influence and deeply regretted all the trouble and damage he’d been involved in causing. He was readmitted to Spectrum after a thorough physical and psychological examination by Dr Fawn. Both Black and Scarlet retained their retrometabolism power, but need never fear being taken over by Mysteron mentality again. Now Captain Blue had time to date Symphony Angel. Captain Scarlet responded to Destiny Angel’s advances, and Captain Black slowly gained Melody’s trust enough to court her too. In Space City, Venus and Steve Zodiac were very much in love as well.

When all was back to normal, a much larger meeting was held with all members of the organisations, except for International Rescue, who did not class themselves as a spy or military organisation, and wanted their privacy maintained.

In the meantime, a new planet moved into the position once occupied by Mars and became the replacement 9th planet of the solar system of earth. This planet had been discovered by astronauts Glenn Ross and John Cain years earlier. Fireball XL-5’s crew visited the new planet, and learned that speech was relatively forward and easy to understand, but visually everything on the planet was reversed. Eurosec’s original leader had died in a hospital after a wheelchair collision with a wall mirror, but his chief security operator had taken over, and kept the organisation functioning in a limited capacity. With the new planet now in the old position of Mars, and the Mysterons gone forever, he was convinced that Eurosec could liase with Fireball XL-5’s crew to study the planet further and develop relations with its leaders.

With the Mysteron threat gone, Spectrum soon became obsolete. Several of its retrenched members went to Father Unwin’s church to ask for some guidance about their purpose in life. He introduced them to one of his parishionners named Sylvia, who has been working with Father Unwin on a special kind of superior marionation. Using Father Unwin’s shrinking Bible, they had reduced certain people and used them as stringless puppets in Sylvia’s new television puppet series called Poor Weather Falls.

Sylvia had once made a puppet movie called “The Men from MI-5 and Special Branch.” Having dated Scott Tracy without knowing of his International Rescue involvement, she had modelled British Secret Service Agent James Bonson’s puppet on Scott Tracy and based the Special Branch Chief Inspector’s puppet on Alan Tracy. Nowadays, with the use of the shrinking Bible, she was able to use real shrunken people.

Captain Ochre and Lieutenant Green and Lieutenant Maroon chose to be shrunken and take new roles on the show. They immediately began working on the pilot episode of Poor Weather Falls, which Sylvia titled called Special Ranch.

Somewhere in the headquarters of World Intelligence Network, Shane Weston was wishing he’d had the chance to record the brain pattern of Hirum Hackenbacker.

Mark and Valerie and Betty were walking through the giant city one night, when they came to a large compound. They snuck into the building undetected, and were surprised to see two familiar faces.

‘It’s Kobick and Altha,’ said Valerie.

‘Who’s Altha’’ asked Betty.

‘Do you remember when Fitzhugh and Val and I went to help a scientist named Franzen work on the guidance system for a spaceship’’ asked Mark.

‘Yes. I wasn’t there, but I knew from discussions back at the ship that it caused a certain tension between Steve and Dan. Dan wasn’t sure whether or not we should get involved with a giant scientist. Steve thought that what happened confirmed his suspicions.’

‘Franzen never betrayed us. Logar betrayed him. He lost his life in an explosion, while insisting on our freedom. Altha tried to kill all three of us with the neutralizer. Kobick was after us at the time too, which didn’t help,’ said Mark.

‘Let’s hear what they’re saying,’ said Betty.

Hiding behind a large piece of equipment, they peeked out at a giant spaceship. On a giant scale, it was about as large as the time ship (left behind by Oles and Fielder) had been to the earthlings.

Inspector Kobick, head of the Special Investigation Department (SID) was talking.

‘Altha, we’ll go to earth and help ourselves to samples of advanced little people technology. We’ll never get it any other way. Even while I’ve had some of them in my custody, I’ve never been able to pry any information about their ship or other technology out of them. Now we can go their world and work the problem from the other end. We’ll bring back things for you to study and for me to present to the supreme council as the proudest moment of my career. I’ve informed the council that I’m going on a vacation to take the extended leave I earned, when I stopped Dr Greer’s plan to blow up our city. Lieutenant Grayson will be Acting Head of SID until we return.’

‘He stopped Dr Greer’’ laughed Valerie quietly, ‘It was largely our doing. He wouldn’t even listen, when he had Fitzhugh and me held for questioning.’

‘Shh,’ said Mark, ‘I want to know more. We’ve got to stop this ship of theirs from raiding our planet.’

‘I’m glad to help you,’ said Altha, ‘If Logar hadn’t stopped you from taking the little people in the first place, then Franzen and I would have finished this spaceship months ago, without any help from Wilson on our guidance system or any other part of the design.’

‘You did use Wilson’s modifications though’’ said Kobick, who was well aware that Wilson was the scientific expert in the group of earthlings.

‘Yes, but I’ll never get over the way one of them blew up our first model, killing my husband.’

‘That’s what they do,’ said Kobick, ‘I’ve had so many reports of deaths and damages resulting from explosions caused by the Little People. There was a professor who was working on night glasses that would have made it far easier for us to see and catch the little pests, when they operate at night, as they so often did. His laboratory and all his work were blown up, killing him as well. It must have been the little people. They’re the only ones with a motive. They caused a hydraulic man prototype to run amok and kill its inventor Professor Gorn. They caused an explosion that took the life of a police chief, because his assistant had invented a chemical foam which would have been invaluable in interrogating these earthling invaders. It just goes on and on. Chief Bulgar heard of their attempt on a depot, which caused another explosion. Yet Bulgar’s reports were shut down because Senator Obek actually sympathizes with those dangerous miniature saboteurs. I knew that the only way to get them was to get to their own planet.’

‘They’ll do it, using your own design modifications,’ whispered Valerie.

‘We could actually get back to earth and stop them in the process if we snuck into their ship,’ said Betty.

‘Inspector, have you ever been married’’ asked Altha.

‘No. I suppose I was too busy rising in the ranks to find the right woman,’ said Kobick.

‘I always thought I’d found the right man, until he sold us out to the Little People,’ said Altha, ‘Somehow I doubt you’d do that.’

‘I could never understand why Dr Berger helped them with our Delta device either. He even tried to frame his assistant Andre for it,’ said Kobick, ‘I wouldn’t help them get away with anything.’

‘He really talks a lot of propaganda,’ said Valerie.

‘He’s got a willing listener,’ said Mark, ‘Franzen’s widow blames us for everything. The fact that she tried to kill us doesn’t seem to count for much on the guilt scale to her.’

‘I think they’re about to shift to a more domestic discussion,’ said Betty.

‘We’ll leave as planned in two nights’ time,’ said Kobick.

‘Would you take me out to dinner to celebrate what we’ve planned’’ asked Altha.

‘I’d like that,’ said Kobick, ‘But it all came about as a result of your achievements. You even had this compound modified with an opening roof, so our ship can launch from here.’

‘You got me the freedom to operate unmonitored, in secret, unhindered,’ said Altha.

‘I’ll pick you up at 6:00 tomorrow evening. I know a great restaurant, where I once got some chicken to keep me going during that stake out for the little people at the zoo,’ said Kobick.

The two giants left the compound.

‘Can’t we sabotage this stuff’’ asked Valerie.

‘They’d know it was us, and put SID guards on the place and repair it. We’ll have to get back to the Spindrift and tell Steve what we’ve found. We’ve only 2 days to decide what to do,’ said Mark.

Meanwhile on earth, Tony Newman and Doug Phillips, two American scientists caught in a swirling maze of live history lessons and encounters with aliens, were switched in time and place to a submarine which was underwater at the time. They were soon found and taken to the ship’s captain and admiral. When they learned that they were aboard the Seaview (the most advanced submarine in the world), they explained that they were time travellers from Tic Toc 1968.

They were introduced to Lee Crane (former Captain of the Seaview, now promoted to Admiral), Chip Morton (former Exec of Seaview, now its Captain), Sharkey (now the Exec of the Seaview, having served for years as its Chief of Security), and Kowalski (who had replaced Chief Sharkey as the new Chief of Security).

Tony and Doug would not make another journey with this time tunnel. Using the ship’s communications equipment, Admiral Lee Crane contacted Tic Toc, and spoke to Ray, who was now in charge of Tic Toc. He soon put Doug in contact with Ray too.

‘It’s good to hear your voice, Doug,’ said Ray, ‘General Heywood Kirk died a few years ago. I’m in charge now. Ann’s still here and now happily married. The time tunnel broke down after the trip that put you where you are now. We’ve been working on a perfected new model. We’ve almost got more controlled time travel achieved, with the ability to return a subject to the present whenever we like. With your help we could do it.’

‘We’d be glad to help. We’ll arrange to be transported to Tic Toc,’ said Doug.

‘Kowalski can take you there in the flying sub,’ said Captain Morton, ‘You’ll enjoy the trip. We’ve recently dug up the recording of the great mood setting music we used to pipe through the flying sub launch bay’s speakers in the first year that we used the flying sub. It got lost somewhere along the infinite corridors of archives for a while. You’ll like the sound of it. Kowalski, take the Tic Toc returnees to the flying sub.

Security Chief Kowalski led them to the launch bay, and they boarded flying sub, after being fitted with the special safety jackets that released the life jackets if necessary.

The doors opened below the yellow manta shaped submarine, and then it was lowered into the ocean. After travelling underwater for a while, the ship broke the surface and seemed to falter, as it adjusted to the air, and then took to the skies for Tic Toc.

Kowalski dropped them off and prepared to return to Seaview.

Tony and Doug were fondly greeted by their old friends and began to help modifying the time tunnel.


On the planet of the giants, Mark and Valerie and Betty returned to the Spindrift base camp and filled the others in on what had happened.

‘Three of you could get back in their ship by sneaking in before the night of the take off,’ said Steve, ‘Mark, could you really override the instruments of their guidance system from in there, so that the ship would, for example, crash land in the ocean’’ asked Steve.

‘And then alter its radio frequencies to get us some help,’ said Mark, ‘Kobick and Altha will undoubtedly abandon it and get to shore more easily than we could. If Kobick gets loose on earth, he’ll cause more trouble than he does here, but why only three of us’’

‘Spindrift has three space suits: one for the pilot, one for the co-pilot and one for any stewardess willing to go out and help deal with any external repairs, should the ship break down while in a sub orbital position,’ said Steve, ‘Valerie, I know you’d like to go with Mark. It’s probably best if we have all of our men here to work on getting parts for the Spindrift, even without Mark here to repair it. He’s needed more on the giant ship to help warn earth or even save it. We’ll do what we can here, in case you can’t send a rescue flight. Betty, would you like to go with them’’

‘I’d love to get back, so long as Kobick doesn’t find us,’ said Betty, ‘I guess I’d be taking a greater risk of being found and caught if I stayed here. I’m very grateful for the opportunity. I figured it would be you or Dan going on this trip.’

‘We’re the pilots,’ said Dan, ‘If we actually get this ship going again, we’re the ones to fly it.’

‘What about me’’ asked Fitzhugh, ‘I’m not much use here.’

‘We’re not risking you making a slip up and getting Mark caught by Kobick and Altha,’ said Steve, ‘You’re staying with us. With Kobick gone, we may just be able to get some more help from Andre, since Mark won’t be here. I’ll trust him more this time. He did put it all on the line for us.’

Mark, Valerie and Betty took their space suits to the compound and hid out inside the instrument console of Altha’s ship. Kobick and Altha took off as planned and headed for earth. Mark tampered with the guidance system from the inside, and caused the ship to crash into earth’s ocean and sink to the bottom. They heard Kobick and Altha removing their space suits and talking.


‘I can’t understand why it went wrong after we entered the relatively safe atmosphere of a planet,’ said Altha.

‘We can return for it later,’ said Kobick, ‘With enough little scientists to make sure it works properly for the return trip if necessary. Earth’s ocean won’t be nearly as deep for us. We can survive the pressure of the depths without diving suits, get to the surface and head for shore.’

Kobick and Altha left the ship, finding that its airlock (designed for space) did a good enough job of keeping the water out of the ship too. They reached the surface and made it to a large uninhabited island.

Kowalski was returning towards the rendezvous point with Seaview, when he looked through the viewport of flying sub, to see that there were two enormous giants on an island: a man and a woman.

‘Flying Sub to Seaview. Flying Sub to Seaview,’ called Kowalski.

Meanwhile on Seaview, Exec Sharkey took the call.

‘We read you Kowalski,’ said Sharkey.

‘I’ve got to talk to Admiral Crane,’ said Kowalski, ‘He just won’t believe what I’ve found.’

‘He wants you, Sir,’ said Sharkey, and passed the hand held microphone.

‘Admiral Crane here,’ said Lee, ‘Go ahead, Kowalski.’

‘Admiral, you might think I’m nuts, but there are two giants on the island near your last position.’

‘Could the Leviathan chasm have reopened’’ asked Lee, ‘It caused that scientist to grow to giant size once before. But it’s a long way from here.’

‘I don’t think it was that chasm this time,’ said Kowalski, ‘These giants seem to have a far more normal human appearance and behaviour. The Leviathan scientist was facially deformed and very violent and erratic in his behaviour. This pair seems quite civilized. Maybe I could make contact.’

‘Negative, Kowalski. Under no circumstances are you to take flying sub within their reach. Stay well above them and monitor them. I’m going to have to contact President Nelson and make him aware of the situation.’

Admiral Harriman Nelson had left Seaview and become the current President of Earth.

‘We’re getting another call, Admiral,’ said Captain Chip Morton, ‘It’s not someone we know either.’

‘Belay patching me through to the President,’ said Lee Crane, ‘I’ll take this call first.’

Soon Admiral Crane was speaking to Mark Wilson.

‘I’m calling from a giant space craft that sunk in your ocean,’ said Mark, ‘I’m not a giant myself, and I have two other earth humans with me. We were trapped on the giants’ home planet after an accident with a sub orbital flight passing through a space warp. We stowed away on the giants’ ship and sabotaged their landing to delay their attempts to raid our technology, which we overheard them planning. We’re now stuck on the bottom of the sea in their ship, which they’ve abandoned. I altered their radio to try frequencies to call for help. Can you get us out, and we’ll fill you in on everything we’ve learned about the giants.’

‘That could be very useful, and of course we’ll help. We’re getting a fix on your position even now. Do you have it yet, Chip’’

‘Yes Sir,’ said the Captain, ‘I’ll order diving bell made ready to go down.’

‘We’re sending a diving bell, Mark,’ said Admiral Crane, ‘Will we need to cut our way into the ship’’

‘No. The airlocks are electronic. We can operate the buttons and open them to get out. We’ll just need to get on board your diving bell quickly, before we take too much of these depths,’ said Mark.


On the planet of the giants, Steve and Dan were walking through the park on one of their rare trips in the day time. To their surprise they saw what seemed to be a flying saucer landing on the grass in the park. They approached it cautiously, wondering what sort of aliens were now invading the giant world. To their surprise, part of the ship’s wall opened out as a ramp, and a group of human beings and a robot came out of the ship.

‘I’m John Robinson and this is my wife Maureen, my daughters Penny and Judy, and my son Will. Also Major Don West and Dr Smith, as well as Robot,’ said the man, ‘Our ship the Jupiter 2 has been lost in space for years, as we’ve tried to return to our home planet earth.’

‘We’re from earth too,’ said Steve.

‘You’ve no idea how close you are to a space warp short cut that will take you back to earth. Our ship’s incapacitated, but we could navigate you to it, if there’s room in yours,’ said Dan.

‘It would be beneficial to both our parties,’ said Don West.

‘More than you think,’ said Steve. The inhabitants of this planet are giants, and two of them are even now attempting to raid earth’s advanced technology. They’ve hunted us here for two years. We must get back now, not just for our own sake, but to warn earth’s governments about it. We have two other passengers and a dog at our base camp. Could you fly us to it first’’

‘Hop aboard,’ said John.

‘Warning, warning! Creatures approaching!’ said the Robot.

‘Did you say ‘Giants’’’ asked Judy Robinson.

‘I sure did,’ said Steve.

‘I think they’d fit that description,’ said Dr Smith, pointing behind the others.

Steve and Dan turned, along with the Jupiter 2 crew, to see that Lieutenant Grayson was approaching them with two SID officers!

‘Well, well. All of the little people and their spaceship as well,’ said Grayson, ‘Why couldn’t Kobick have searched this place well enough to find it’ I told you that you’d had your last break from me, Captain.’

‘They’ve mistaken your ship for ours,’ said Dan, ‘We’re all as good as caught.’

‘We’ll try to lead them away, while you take off,’ said Steve.

‘There’ll be no need for that,’ said John Robinson, as the two SID officers squatted down and reached for them, ‘Robot! Stun them!’

The Robot blasted both officers with electrical discharge. They collapsed. Steve stared in jubilation. Grayson still needed discouraging.

‘Grayson, back off, or I’m sure you’ll get the same!’ called Steve.

‘It would seem so. I thought you weren’t killers, after our last encounter,’ said Grayson.

‘He said they were stunned!’ called Dan.

‘This situation is not going to help either of us,’ said Grayson, ‘What do you suggest we do to resolve it’’

‘Let us go, and you won’t get hurt,’ said Don West, ‘Robot will cover us, while we all board the space ship. Then we’ll have the ship’s weapons turned on you. If we don’t take off with the robot on board, you’ll be blasted to bits. Now either walk out of sight, or I’ll have Robot knock you out too.’

Grayson capitulated.

The Jupiter 2 then flew both teams to the Spindrift, where Steve’s friends gathered their keep sakes and set a timer destruct sequence for the Spindrift.

‘They’ll never get our technology from Spindrift now anyway,’ he said.

Alexander Fitzhugh, Barry Lockeridge, Dan Ericson, Steve Burton, Chipper the Dog, Dr Smith, Robot, Don West and the Robinson family all took off in the Jupiter 2 and approached the space warp.

On earth, Seaview’s diving bell team, manned by Captain Chip Morton and two divers, rescued Mark Wilson and Betty Hamilton and Valerie Scott from the giant space ship and took them aboard Seaview for debriefing of their time on another world. Mark and the girls told them everything about the giants, and their paranoic obsession with earth’s superior technology. Crane contacted President Harriman Nelson and relayed all of the newly acquired information.

Flying sub returned to seaview, and Kowalski passed on his observations of Kobick and Altha, who had settled on the island to sleep for a while.

‘Admiral, I have an idea,’ said Exec Sharkey, ‘Could those time travellers use their device to move the giants back to their own planet’ It got them here on our ship, not just to another time.’

‘I could possibly arrange it to do better than that,’ said Mark Wilson, ‘I studied the futuristic manual of a time travel ship from the year 5477, while I was on the giant planet. I made lots of notes and was working on the design of my own. I know a lot about time travel now. I think I could help them use their device to actually send the giants not only back to their own planet, but into its future, where what little they’ve already learned about us will be useless antique information. It would be a great defence against future giants too. Valerie also worked with me on the modifications we made to the giants’ ship guidance system in its experimental stage. She’d be a valuable help on this job if it’s approved by your leaders.’

Admiral Crane ran this past President Nelson over the radio, and got the go ahead to do it. Crane, Mark and Valerie went to Tic Toc in flying sub, and got Mark and Valerie instated as Tic Toc staff. Crane was under guidance from President Nelson to remain at Tic Toc on standby, in case flying sub was needed to assist them again, which it would be, as both Ann and Doug were convinced that the giants would have to be treated with harmless radioactive powder, to enable the modified Time Tunnel to get a fix on them and switch them in time and space.

Betty stayed on board Seaview, until it returned to headquarters.


Jupiter 2 passed through the space warp successfully and flew down to earth. The Robinsons’ and Major West’s contacts enabled Steve to get in touch with President Nelson’s highest officials and give them a lot of information about the giant invasion and the two years of knowledge they’d gathered during their time on the giant planet.

Barry and Penny had noticed the stares that they had attracted from each other, and began to go out on dates, not concerning themselves with the military defence of earth.

Soon all of the Jupiter 2 team, Spindrift team, Tic Toc team and Seaview officers were in touch with each other and working together to thwart the giants under the guidance of President Harriman Nelson.

Mark Wilson and Tony Newman perfected the repaired and redesigned time tunnel to work on the giants.

Then Flying Sub and Jupiter 2 were coopted for the mission, so that regular army and navy and air force officers would be kept in the dark about the giants for as long as possible, and hopefully indefinitely. Both craft were loaded up with the radiation powder required, and they flew towards the island of the giants. Kobick and Altha were soon bombed by Admiral Crane and Don West.

Back at Tic Toc headquarters, Ann McGregor and Doug Phillips were monitoring the giants through the viewer of the time tunnel.

‘It’s working. We can switch them now,’ said Ann.

‘I think the Flying Sub and Jupiter 2 are far enough out of range now,’ said Tony.

‘Do it,’ ordered Ray.

Both Kobick and Altha seemed to vanish, from the points of view of Don West and Lee Crane. In reality they arrived in what they would learn was their own planet’s future, to learn that the anti-little people propaganda had burned itself out centuries earlier. Kobick and Altha settled down and got married.

Romance was afoot on earth in 1985 too.

Steve and Betty started dating.

Don West and Judy got married and took Barry in to live with them, so that the orphan boy could continue dating Judy’s sister Penny.

Valerie Scott married Mark Wilson, and both of them were sent on time travelling missions for Tic Toc, with Ann, Tony and Doug at the controls under Ray’s leadership.

During one such mission, Mark and Valerie time travelled back to 1960 on a vital mission. Their assignment was to meet the inventor of heavy metal music, before he came up with it, and advise him to take up jazz instead. While in 1960, Valerie accidentally lost her diary, which she had been compiling with notes since returning to earth. It had information she’d learned about the Jupiter 2’s three years in space, the time trips of Tony and Doug, the Seaview staff and their own adventures on the planet of the giants.

The diary was soon found, not long after Mark and Valerie had returned to 1985, by movie producer Irwin Allen. Irwin mistook its contents for a discarded collection of manuscripts for television episodes. He was unable to find the owner, and decided to progressively adapt the contents into four television serieses over the 1960s.

Fitzhugh and Dr Smith became friends, having bonded over the similar transformations from criminal pasts to men who cared about the welfare of young boys.




In 1986, the Robinsons asked all of their close circle of friends from the four adventuresome parties over for a video night. People from Tic Toc, Seaview, Jupiter 2 and Spindrift all came over and watched a four hour documentary special, released on two VHS tapes, which was called ‘The Four Worlds of Irwin Allen.’

It showed clips that summarized loads of episodes from the four serieses, as well as interviews with the casts.

‘Look who they’ve got playing me!’ said Doctor Zachary Smith in indignation, as they turned down the volume of the end theme and began to discuss the show, ‘He’s turned me into a comedic villain. They’ve cast him almost the same way in that Piper episode of Land of the Giants.’

‘Is there someone inside that facsimile of me’’ asked the Robot.

‘I lost my diary in 1960,’ said Valerie, ‘This Irwin Allen must have found it.’

‘Well at least Irwin got past the anti-pink tights complaints made by that man who played Lee Crane,’ said Betty, ‘I’m glad to see that Irwin decided to have Deanna Lund play you in pink tights in the latter half of Season 1 of Land of the Giants. Heather Young looks great as me in pink in the latter half of Season 2 as well.’

‘Time travel caused this then,’ said Tony Newman, ‘We’ve seen the Robinsons’ return to earth in its past both as the Lost in Space episode THE TIME MERCHEANT and the remake Land of the Giants story WILD JOURNEY involving Steve and Dan.’

‘But we never had such an adventure, the way the Robinsons did,’ said Steve.

‘At least I don’t remember it,’ said Dan, ‘Irwin must have used up Val’s diary’s notes and then recycled an old Robinsons adventure into one for Steve and me. I think I’d remember if I’d returned to Los Angeles Airport in 1983 and been shrunken by two time travellers. Looks like Irwin got caught up in his show about you, Tony, and it spilled out into his stories about us.’

‘Television was Irwin’s most voracious monster of all,’ said Fitzhugh, ‘Irwin wouldn’t have had another idea left in his head after adapting Valerie’s diary and then writing new stories of his own. It’s the only way to explain the inclusion of that preposterous episode of Land of the Giants, in which Betty and I were supposed to be singing puppets.’

Barry thought that it would be most unwise to tell Penny Robinson that he thought Angela Cartwright looked absolutely gorgeous in the clips shown from Lost In Space. Of course he found Penny equally beautiful, and decided to stick to loving the one he was with.

‘The point is that these television shows were never supposed to have come into being,’ said Doug, ‘We sent Mark and Valerie back to 1960, and now our adventures have appeared as television fiction with a huge fan following. People all over the world have watched the syndicated reruns since the 1960s, all because we unwittingly tampered with history more than we planned to.’

‘We can never tell them the truth, or it would blow Tic Toc’s and Seaview’s cover,’ said Sharkey.

‘I’m surprised that the shows are that popular,’ said Maureen Robinson, ‘apart from brief hints in DEADLY DART (of a romance between Mark and Valerie) and in THE KIDNAPPERS (of a relationship between Ann and Doug, that never happened in their real lives), there’s no serialization of our lives in Irwin’s one-off episodic tales. People seemed content to just watch sparks, fires, special effects and dramatic reactions to danger for six years and ever since.’

‘Maybe it helps our cover if people view it as fictional television,’ said Kowalski.

‘We just have to be more careful when time travelling,’ said Mark.

‘We can’t knock off baby Adolf then,’ said Sharkey, ‘We might end up with Fitzhugh’s father as the replacement timeline’s Fuhrer.’

Even Fitzhugh laughed.

It was early 1973. Architect Mike Brady announced some good news to his wife Carol, his three sons Greg and Peter and Bobby, his wife’s three daughters Marcia and Jan and Cindy, and their housekeeper Alice.

“So that’s the deal,” said Mike, “I’ve been approached by a brilliant scientist and asked to design a factory for him to house the machinery being used to design and test his unique inventions.”

“What is it?” asked Peter.

“Well you know how the septic tank in the bathroom ices up in winter when the water freezes?” asked Mike, “My company’s client is perfecting a device which will heat up the water in the septic tank, without damaging the tank, and without being damaged itself by the water. He needs a lead lined factory to test the device safely. If he manages to perfect it, the Loo-Thaw device will be warming up toilets all over the country before you know it. So important is the lead lined factory, that the client has offered us not only an initial fee for the factory design, but a percentage of the profits from the first two years’ sales of the Loo-Thaw device.”

“Do you think they could give us one of the first ones produced instead?” asked Alice, “I’ve had a rather cold seat at times myself.”

“I’ll ask them,” said Mike, “In the meantime I’ll have to spend extra hours there consulting with the client and working on the factory. I hope you’ll all understand.”

Greg Brady in particular was pleased to hear the news that his father would be around less in the evenings. Greg had been cultivating a secret aspiration, ever since he and the other Brady kids and the school librarian Miss Prince had accidentally time traveled to Ancient Greece. Miss Prince kept her dark hair in a bun, wore a pleasant skirt and cardigan and had really captured Greg’s heart. Greg Brady had just cut removed the wide growth of his hairstyle, making it as neat as it had been at the time of his father’s marriage to Carol. He decided that now was the best time to act.

The very next day, he went into the library during lunch hour and presented Miss Prince with a red rose.

“Why thank you, Greg,” said Miss Prince, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was hoping you might like to go skiing and  ice skating with me, Miss Prince,” said Greg, “I never really had the chance to do much skiing or skating that time when I lost the race bet to the cheating Chuck. I thought we could go up into the mountains together on the weekend and … “

“I’d look forward to that, Greg,” said Miss Prince.

“Where can I pick you up?” asked Greg.

“How about the far side of the park?” said Miss Prince.

So the two began dating, and a budding romance blossomed between them. For Miss Prince, the age difference only served to heighten the sweetness of Greg’s interest in her, and she admired his courage in asking her out in the first place. To Greg, the appeal of having overcome the potential difficulty in asking out an adult member of the school staff made him appreciate her affection all the more.

Meanwhile, Fred, Velma, Daphne and Shaggy had parked the mystery machine by the sea shore and taken a hired yacht out to a group of islands. They planned to camp out on one island, and investigate the rumours of a giant penguin being seen on the next island.

While Fred and Daphne steered the yacht, and Velma navigated their journey, Shaggy and Scooby applied their considerable expertise in consuming inordinate quantities of food, specifically hamburgers and biscuits.

They reached their destination island, and unloaded their camping supplies, pitched their tents and left Scooby sleeping by the dimly burning campfire for the night.

The following morning, they made their way toward the next island on their yacht, and snuck ashore in an area with plenty of bush cover. To their surprise, they were now able to get a clear look at what was indeed a giant penguin. However, it was not a real penguin, but a cleverly designed submarine docked on the island. Loading supplies onto it were three people. They recognized the first two from their previous encounters with Batman and Robin.

“The Penguin and the Joker!” hissed Daphne.

“But who’s the third one!” said Fred.

“Like, he’s got green skin and red jewels on his head. He must be the Ghost of the Bermuda Triangle!” said Shaggy.

 “Oh come on, Shaggy. There’s no such thing as ghosts, only all the criminals we’ve unmasked,” said Fred.

“Look,” said Velma, who had just noticed a smaller craft parked beside the huge artificial penguin, “I think that’s a flying saucer.”

“It must belong to the third guy, the one we don’t know,” said Fred, “I guess there’s lots of characters in the Dynamic Duo’s rogues gallery that we’re lucky not to have met yet.”

“Look!” said Daphne, “They’re going aboard, and there’s no way we can stop them or follow them.”

“Not on our own,” said Fred, “But I think it’s time we use that radio given to us by Batman and Robin after the time we helped them save Professor Flakey’s flying suit.”

Fred contacted the Batcave, and explained the situation to Robin, who soon had Batman’s assurance that they would head out in the Batsub.

Back at the factory, Mike Brady and his client Alex were making the finishing touches on the lead lined factory, unaware that Bobby and Cindy Brady had stowed away in their father’s car and snuck into the factory, fascinated to see the Loo-Thaw device undetected by either their father or his client. Hiding behind some machinery, they watched the proceedings.

“Can I see a demonstration of the device?” asked Mike Brady, “My curiosity is getting the better of me, I’m afraid.”

“Of course,” said Alex, and turned it on.

The two youngest Brady Kids could hear a boiling bubbling sound from the demonstration septic tank, and then to their horror, it suddenly exploded, blasting the entire toilet to smithereens … along with Mike Brady.

Cindy’s scream of horror was muffled by the sound of the explosion, and Bobby quickly muzzled her with his fingers, to stop her screaming again. He had seen a sinister look in the face of Alex.

As the two children remained hidden, they heard Alex making a radio call to someone else.

“Come in, B!” said Alex, “This is A.”

“This is B,” came a toneless voice, “What is your purpose in calling?”

“I have tested the fatal effects of the hot water fusion device. It will effectively dispose of our underwater opponent, but we’ll have to install it subtly and set it and then get out quickly. We don’t have long, before it goes off. It’s caused an unexpected death of my factory’s designer. I’ll have to head out and join you as soon as possible with the device. I can’t stay here now. Luthor out.”

“Luthor!” hissed Bobby, “So that’s who Alex really is! Dad didn’t know his client was Superman’s arch enemy.”

“Brainiac out,” said the voice on the radio.

The kids watched Luthor flee his factory, taking the only other working model of his Loo-Thaw device.

“We’ll have to use the signal watch that Superman gave me after he helped us expose Igor’s plan to rob the bank,” said Cindy, “I’ll call Superman, while you use the factory telephone to call our brothers and sisters.”

When Greg Brady got the call, he was busy kissing Miss Prince in his bedroom. She offered to come along as well.

“It could be dangerous,” said Greg.

“Then I’d better show you something I’ve been meaning to trust you with lately,” said Miss Prince.

She began to spin around, and her familiar clothes changed into the equally familiar costume of Wonder Woman. Her hair fell out of the bun and into a wavy extension, with the bun tie turning into a tiara.

 “No wonder you were both with us in ancient Greece,” said Greg, “At first I wondered if it was your younger Wonder Woman self at that time. You don’t age do you?”

“Not visibly,” said Wonder Woman.

She and Greg collected Marcia, Peter and Jan and headed for the factory, where they found that Superman already arrived and examined some of Luthor’s notes that he’d located with his x-ray vision in a locked cupboard that he’d then forced open.

“I’ve uncovered Luthor’s plot,” said Superman, “thanks only to Cindy and Bobby. I’d never have found him in this lead lined factory, if they hadn’t stowed away in their father’s car.”

“He killed my Daddy!” said Cindy in tears.

“I think it was an accident, but one caused in the pursuit of a criminal venture nonetheless,” said Superman, “I’ll bring Luthor to justice, Cindy. That’s a promise. I didn’t know you’d met Wonder Woman too.”

“We shared an adventure recently,” said Wonder Woman, “What’s Luthor up to?”

“It all started when the Joker escaped from Gotham Penitentiary and went deep sea diving, hoping to hide out from Batman in an underwater cave. Instead he came across the undersea city of Atlantis,” said Superman, “He wanted to rob it of its considerable wealth, but knew that its king Aquaman would be even more of a threat than Batman. So he sought to bargain with other criminals, and soon contacted Luthor, who had worked with Brainiac before, and his own former partner in crime the Penguin. They’ve made a deal. Penguin has supplied a submarine to take Luthor’s Loo-Thaw hot water fusion device to Atlantis. Brainiac will turn invisible, sneak into Atlantis and install the device undetected in Aquaman’s royal toilet. Aquaman will blow himself up as soon as he sits on the toilet. Then the Joker, Penguin and Luthor will be able to loot Atlantis of all its undersea treasure.”

“But what does Brainiac get out of it?” asked Wonder Woman.

“Every time he’s tried shrinking people on the surface, to repopulate his planet Mega, I’ve known of it and stopped him,” said Superman, “But he counted on using Luthor’s device to get Aquaman out of the way, so that he could shrink the entire populace of Atlantis. We’ll need all the help we can get. You kids get into Wonder Woman’s invisible jet and seal the doors. I’ll fly after you and then carry the jet to Atlantis underwater. It’s not designed to move underwater, but it can under Superman power.”

So it was that Superman, Wonder Woman, the Brady Kids, Batman and Robin and the Scooby Doo team all converged on Atlantis, using the Invisible Jet and the Batsub.

Batman and Robin had not yet worked out the villains’ plan, but Batman’s infra red undersea goggles enabled him to see Brainiac, even after he’d turned invisible. Batman snuck in after Brainiac and sprayed him from behind, not enough to cover him, but enough to expose part of his back with bat-paint.

To his surprise, he saw Superman and Wonder Woman approaching too.

“Stop him!” said Batman, “He’s not fully invisible now.”

Superman lunged at Brainiac, snatching the Loo-Thaw device at super speed, leaving both of Brainiac’s hands free.

Before he could activate his force shield, Wonder Woman used her golden lasso to snare Brainiac’s hands, and tied them together.

Robin used the Bat-sonic gun and scrambled Brainiac’s circuits. While the four of them were occupied with this, Aquaman had caught an overconfident Luthor, Joker and Penguin about to raid the Atlantean vaults. The Joker was nimble and managed to outrun Aquaman, who had his hands full with Luthor and Penguin.

Joker made it to the open sea …

… until a giant sea horse grabbed the Joker by his diving suit and dragged him back to the door of Atlantis. Aquaman thanked Storm for his help.

Later, Aquaman swam to the surface and met up with the Brady Kids, the Scooby Doo team and the other four super heroes on the island.

“You have saved both my treasury and my toilet, not to mention my life,” said Aquaman, “And you did it by working together. Maybe we should form a team and work together regularly.”

“But what would we call ourselves?” asked Robin.

“Well the kids brought us all together,” said Wonder Woman, and then flashed Greg an apologetic look, as she realized that she had referred to her boyfriend as one of ‘the kids’, “It seems the four of us have come here as a result of having past friendships with kids and young adults.”

“Well Scooby Doo’s group found the island first,” said Jan, “How about calling your new team the Scooby Friends?”

“You need to trade on existing publicity,” said Velma, “Superman’s the most widely known of you. How about the Super Friends?”

They agreed on the name and decided to set their headquarters in Gotham City, as Batman and Robin had no super powers to enable easy travel to a headquarters.

Shaggy had gone missing, but they expected that he would turn up as soon as someone mentioned food. But Shaggy never did turn up, as far as any of them knew. He had actually tried to use Brainiac’s shrinking gun to reduce the follicles of his hair to an unnoticeable size. At first it had worked, shrinking his loose chin hairs out of visible existence. However, he’d left the ray turned on himself too long, and shrank his whole body to tiny size too.

Now clean shaven and miniscule, he climbed into the pocket of Marcia Brady while she was sitting down, and overheard Marcia inviting the rest of the Scooby gang over to her house, as they felt that they needed the comfort of their new friends at this time, with Mr Brady now lost to them.

Marcia unwittingly took Shaggy home with her, whereupon he took the opportunity to hide out in Cindy’s dolls house.

Greg and Diana Prince continued to date, but kept it under wraps, so that the Super Friends’ growing publicity would not affect the Brady Bunch. Alice married Sam the Butcher and moved out.

As the Scooby Doo team and the Brady Kids didn’t live anywhere near Gotham City, the Super Friends, nonetheless inspired by their child mascots in past solo adventures they’d had, took on two new junior members: Wendy and Marvin, and their Wonder Dog to replace Scooby and the other kids. All three were local Gotham City residents.

Here’s the story of Super Heroes,

Who were bringing down two very nasty crooks.

Both of them wore red and blue and bits of yellow,

Just like in comic books.

Here’s the story of a famous Duo

Who were busy with their own persistent foes.

They had also teamed with kids and Aquafellow,

And soon came to blows.

Then came one day, when these heroes had a team-up,

And they knew that it was much more than mere trends,

That this group would form a League of Justice;

And that’s the way they all became the Super Friends.

Previously on Sliders…

In 1996, Quinn Malory, Wade Wells, Rembrandt Brown & Professor Maximillian Arturo had slid into a world, which was still 1996, but which had rotated faster on its axis, so that the characters were the age that their counterparts on all other earths had been in 1984. The cars, the culture, and the buildings of this world were all as the Sliders had remembered them in 1984.

There Quinn had arrived just in time to watch the funeral of his younger double’s father. Quinn was 24. His double was 12. He had made the acquaintance of Heather Hanley at the funeral. She was the double of the woman who had been his Home Room teacher at the school where he had been relentlessly bullied by a child thug named Brady and his gang, until he had struck Brady with a baseball bat, leaving the boy with a limp for the rest of his life. Using the alias of Jim Hall to talk to Heather Hanley over dinner about young Quinn, Quinn had briefly courted and kissed his teacher’s double, who was only 21 in this world.

Against the advice of the other Sliders, Quinn had intervened in young Quinn’s life, training him to defend himself with martial arts until the day of the baseball bat fight. Watching from the front fence of the school, Quinn had watched young Quinn throw down the baseball bat and fight off the first two attackers, punching Brady in the chest and kicking the next bully just a little lower. All of the boys and girls who’d witnessed the incident were talking about it that day.

But time had been running out. Quinn and the others were due to slide out of that world and into another. Heather Hanley didn’t understand Jim Hall’s need to leave, just as she hadn’t understood the way he spoke of young Quinn’s future with such certainty. Yet his predictions had come true. Brady and the others had been back in school by the crucial Friday of the predicted third fight, their suspensions over. She had fallen rapidly in love with Jim, touched by his concern for young Quinn and his apparent interest in her. Jim had told her that, at young Quinn’s age, he had had a massive crush on a teacher who looked exactly like her.

Jim had said his farewell to her and then walked around the corner to step into the vortex portal opened by the timer. Heather had come running around, calling for him to wait, and seen him standing in front of the open vortex.

“My name’s not Jim,” he had called, “It’s Quinn.”

She had watched him step into the vortex and vanish, and then seen the vortex close.

Adult Quinn had gone on to visit other worlds, and helped Maggie Beckett’s people evacuate some of their population to a new world by scouting worlds with an improved timer. One of those worlds had been proportionately giant sized, with all the people giants too. They had arrived on a golf course, and not stayed long enough to meet their giant doubles, and quickly slid back to Maggie’s world.

Eventually Maggie had been widowed, and joined the Sliders and formed a relationship with Quinn, until their romance had been cut short by a sliding accident that merged Quinn with his non-identical double, until the essence of her Quinn eventually died. She never felt anything for the new Quinn, but he became a slider until they found the way to free all earths from their arch enemies the Cromags.

Now the story continues on the world that resembled the past…

Heather Hanley stood in the empty quiet street grappling with all of the things that had happened that week. She suddenly understood that this older Quinn who’d called himself Jim was in fact so close in physical resemblance to the facial features of her student Quinn, that he could well be the same person from the future. Had he come back in time to help his younger self? No. That couldn’t be possible. From what little she’d studied of time travel, it was not possible for a person to meet their younger self without causing major repercussions.

Heather thought over what Jim/Quinn had said. He had claimed to have had a crush on a teacher “who looked exactly like” her. He was not referring to her, but to someone who resembled her. She remembered theoretical papers she’d once read written by Stephen Hawking and Maximillian Arturo. Both scientists had maintained that parallel earths existed, but that there was no way to reach them. Yet this Quinn Malory had come from another earth, and was clearly older. Maybe his world was out of time phase with hers and more advanced in technology. Quinn hadn’t had to leave because of personal choice reasons. He hadn’t abandoned her. He’d been drawn back by the inevitable principles of science.

But her Quinn wasn’t. She knew now, that the boy in whom she’d taken a special interest, the gentle vulnerable, sensitive intelligent child who had been skipped two grades because of his advanced scientific intellect, would one day grow to be the image of the man she’d fallen in love with over the last week.

There was only nine years’ age difference between them, and she knew from his older double, that this boy had a crush on her, and that he would remember it vividly twelve years later, that those feelings would not fade or leave him, and that he wasn’t destined to have any other partner in the meantime.

She would help him to become that person.

In the weeks ahead, she realised that there was no more need to protect him from bullies. The whole school had quickly learned of the way Quinn had decked the two worst bullies that day on the lawn. All through high school, even in the years when she was no longer his teacher, Heather would talk to Quinn about his interest in science, and began to get his mind thinking about the possibility of exploring parallel earths. As she predicted, by his year 11 of high school, he mentioned that it would have become an important subject on his mind anyway. In fact, he had already started applying himself to the means of inventing a device which might open a portal to a parallel earth.

One day she approached him again and said, “Quinn, would you like to go for a soda with me after school? There’s some things I’ve been wanting to tell you for some time.”

Quinn accepted, and met her at a little known café, as she thought it unwise that they be seen leaving the school together. The culture was changing, and people were becoming paranoid about the possibility and ramifications of teacher/student involvements.

“Quinn,” she said, “Do you remember Jim Hall?”

“He was the best friend I ever had. I never got over his leaving,” said Quinn, “I lost him so soon after I lost Dad.”

“He had to leave,” said Heather, “I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but what I’m going to tell you will have a profound impact on your memory of everything Jim Hall did to help you. The day you stood up to those bullies, I saw Jim leave this world through a vortex, which took him to a parallel earth. He came from a parallel earth, where everyone was 12 years older than their counterparts on our earth.”

“So it’s already been proved possible?” said Quinn.

“Yes. Jim hall said something just before he left. He said his name wasn’t Jim, but Quinn.”

“Do you mean he’s an older version of me?”

“He was. I’ve never seen him again. It took me a long time to connect this, but I briefly caught a glimpse of him talking to a friend of his, presumably from that other world. The man was an older version of the science lecturer Maximillian Arturo, who teaches at the university you’re thinking of applying for when you matriculate. I believe that they worked together to invent a sliding machine. You could do it too.”

“It’s such a responsibility,” said Quinn.

“Yes, but one you’re up to. You may even do it sooner if you start thinking about it now.”

“I’ll try,” he said, “It all makes sense now: why Jim knew so much about me and why he was so keen to help. I remember that he knew all about the bullies, secrets that only they could have known. He knew their future, because he’d seen it on his own world.”

“There’s something else, Quinn. He told me that, when he was your age, he had a crush on my counterpart from his world.”

The boy was ever sharp and quick to comprehend.

“You mean that you’ve known all these years how I feel?”

“About me? Yes. I cared for you before I met the older Quinn. Then I knew you’d become this world’s version of him. You know I’m not 21 anymore. If you don’t mind the fact that there’ll always be nine years difference in our ages, I’d like so much to start seeing you.”

“On dates? Of course I don’t mind. I’ve always dreamed of it, and thought it would never be possible.”

“That’s what he said, in different words. Nobody else has touched me like you have, and I’ve already seen a glimpse of the man you’re becoming. It is possible for both of us, if we want it to be.”

“I do,” said Quinn.

“Well I am still a teacher at your school. If we’re going to start a relationship, we should do everything we can to conceal it both from other students and from the teachers.”

“And from Mom. She might not understand,” said Quinn, “Although I know she trusted the older Quinn. From remembering things she’s occasionally said about Jim Hall, I now think she suspected who he really was, but didn’t want to confuse me with the details.”

“I wonder if the other worlds out there are all out of phase with each other’s times. Maybe they’re all in phase with ours, except for his world,” said Heather.

“I don’t think they are,” said Quinn, “Remember the way they were dressed, not just Quinn but his three friends too? I met them all in his hotel room. They had different fashions, futuristic fashions. If they’d been visiting a series of worlds, they must have been dressed according to the fashion styles of those worlds. It’s just possible that ours is the only world that was 12 years out of time phase with Jim’s … Boy, it’s still so hard to think of calling him Quinn.”

“He lost his father too, and was bullied all the time. I wonder how it ended for him,” said Heather.

“I think I know,” said Quinn, “Before he started teaching me martial arts, I had been thinking of using a baseball bat on Brady. Even with my new training, I still felt scared and took the bat anyway. I don’t think you saw it that day, but I hid behind a tree with the bat, waiting for the bullies, and very nearly hit Brady, before I dropped the bat and fought back with my hands and feet. If he didn’t have an older Quinn to teach him differently, he most likely used the bat.”

“And came here 12 years later and taught you a better way,” said Heather.

“He was setting us up,” said Quinn, “He knew he couldn’t stay on our world, so he told you he was another me, so that you’d wait for me. I’m so glad you did wait for me, and that you trusted me with this today.”

They were sitting beside each other on a seat with the wall behind them. It had vinyl cushions mounted on it for comfort and they were very close to each other. Heather Hanley looked intently into Quinn’s eyes. He realised what she was waiting for him to do. He’d never known how to initiate things with girls before, and he realised now that it was because he feared a rejection in their response. This was different, because this was the girl he’d really wanted all along, and she had made her feelings so apparent at last, that he had no reason to fear.

Quinn leaned a few inches closer with his head and kissed Miss Hanley.

She put her arms around him and responded keenly.

“I wish you were already out of school, so that we could be more frequent and open about this,” she said at last, “But I know in all my heart that I’ll wait for you. At least from now on, we can do our waiting together.”

Quinn Malory finished school at the top of his class, and went to study a lengthy five year double degree of science and engineering. He did not expect to have Professor Arturo as his teacher until the fourth or fifth year. Yet he wanted to make the acquaintance now.

He talked it over with Heather, whom he was now able to date far more openly.

“I know I should see him, and show him the designs for my vortex timer device,” said Quinn, “But should I tell him that I’ve met his older self and mine, that parallel earthlings have already come here to our world years ago?”

“Do you think he shouldn’t know about that?”

“It’s not that. I just don’t see how I could convince him, and get him to take a freshman seriously, when I won’t qualify to take his classes for years.”

“I’ll go with you, if you like,” she said.

The local Professor Maximillian Arturo had done a better job of preserving his marriage than the one that the sliding Maximillian Arturo had learned about in 1996. He enjoyed teaching, and had a cheerful disposition.

One day he had a knock on his office door , and opened it to a boy and a young woman.

“How can I help you?” he asked.

“I’m Quinn Malory, a freshman here, and this is my girlfriend Heather Hanley. She has showed me your paper on the Einstein Rosen Podalski Bridge.”

“Oh that,” said the Professor, “My wife thinks it’s just a pointless theory I’m helpless to prove.”

“But you wouldn’t be,” said Quinn, “I’ve already started building a device that could cross the Bridge, into other dimensions. I don’t have the income to get all the parts I need soon enough, and I’m still learning myself. With your help I think we could get it working within a matter of months.”

“Young man, I am engaged in the somewhat demanding task of marking assignments of other students. Did you really interrupt me, expecting that I would involve myself in your flights of fancy?” said Arturo.

“Sir you must give him a chance. There are other worlds, out of time phase with ours, but parallel nonetheless. I’ve seen his older counterpart, and just briefly, I’ve seen yours,” said Heather.

“Are you sure?” asked Arturo.

“Yes. It was years ago. He had longer hair than you, and was dressed in fashion that’s only just coming in now on our world, but he was you. I watched Quinn’s older counterpart leave this world through a vortex. They’ve already done it, and you two could do it much sooner if you worked together,” said Heather.

“Well … perhaps we could have a look at what you’ve worked on so far,” said Arturo, “Where exactly do you work on it?”

“In my basement,” said Quinn, “Would you like to come there with us tonight? I’m sure Mom would set another place at the table for you to join us for dinner. Heather’s coming over anyway.”

“And just how did you two meet?” asked the Professor, who’d been curious about their ages for several minutes.

“I was his teacher at high school,” said Heather.

“And I was secretly in love with her, until my older double’s last words to Heather paved the way for us to start dating,” said Quinn.

“That makes for quite a story,” said Arturo, “And one best kept under wraps, young people. Mr Malory, I accept your invitation. I’ll bring my own file full of my old notes and theories over, and we’ll compare notes.”

By the end of the university’s final semester for the year, Quinn Malory and Maximillian Arturo had co-created a VURT (Vortex Unit Remote Control) which was far more advanced than the timer that the older Quinn had designed. This one could track wormholes, set coordinates for controlled intentional visits to specific earths, and could be activated at the time of their own choosing, rather than only when a countdown of random length reached zero. With such a device, they could come and go from any world as they chose, and would never have any trouble reaching their home world.

“I think we should make two more of them, just in case we ever get separated on another world,” said Quinn.

“How about three? I’d like to take my wife too. I’ve told her nothing about our secret endeavour, but at last I have the means to prove my theories to her,” said Arturo.

“Don’t you guys think we should test it first?” asked Heather.

“Sure, and since you got me thinking about it in the first place, you should do the honours,” said Quinn, handing Heather the VURT.

“I only catalysed the development of thoughts you’d have had on your own anyway,” said Heather, “And that only because I’d been talking to your counterpart, who knew all this ahead of us.”

She pointed the VURT into the air in Quinn’s basement, as the evening got darker, and opened their first vortex. They stepped through and found themselves pulled along like small objects in a vacuum cleaner pipe, until they emerged on the lawn of the university.

“I guess we’ve still got more work to do on it,” said Heather, “Still, the ability to teleport several miles across our own world is nothing to be sneezed at.”

“I’m not so sure that’s what we did,” said Quinn, “Look at that parked car.”

“You’re right, man!” said Arturo, “There’s no car in our world that looks like that.”

“And the number plate,” said Quinn, “It’ll be years before we’re up to that sequence.”

“You’ve done it!” said Heather, “We’re actually here on a parallel earth!”

“Well, let’s take a walk and see what else is different,” said Arturo.

They walked around, noting all the subtle differences between the new world and their own.

“I think we’ve seen enough,” said Quinn at last, “Let’s get back and make the other three units.”

When the new VURTs were built, Arturo invited Heather Hanley and Quinn Malory over for lunch one Sunday, saying that he had made friends with two other scientists. When they had finished eating, they took out their VURTS and showed them to Mrs Christina Fox Arturo. (The Slider Maximillian Arturo had married the Christina Fox of his world, until she had died of a brain aneurism at the age of 27. On one of his first sliding journeys with Quinn and the others, Max had met the Christina of another earth, to learn that she was divorcing his double for cheating on her. He had left his double a cassette recorded message in his own voice, admonishing the man to treasure what he had and repair his damaged marriage. This Christina was in better health and would not die in her youth. Yet she was still somewhat cynical about her husband’s theories of parallel worlds.

“They’re not bad,” she said, “Maybe you can bring your TVs next time you come, if ours ever breaks down.”

“They’re not TV remote controls,” said Arturo, “Although they were built to resemble one in order to avoid their detection. My dear, these are the means by which I can prove to you (and perhaps one day to the whole world) that it is possible to cross the Einstein Rosen Podalski Bridge.”

For some reason the time phase differential of this world had made it harder for the Cromags to detect. They had never gotten to this world (one of a potentially infinite number of worlds) in the years before the Sliders had defeated them. To the people of this world, dimensional travel was still just a theory advanced by the likes of Stephen Hawking and Maximillian Arturo.

“Oh come on honey, we’ve talked about this. It’s just a hypothesis,” said Christina.

Maximillian pointed his VURT at the open doorway between the dining room and the lounge room and opened a vortex.

“My dear, would you care to take a stroll through my latest hypothesis?” asked Arturo.

“I can hardly believe this,” she said, “How long does it stay open?”

“About a minute. If we miss the jump, we can just open another one,” said Quinn.

“Try it,” said Heather, “It’s fun.”

Quinn and Heather held hands and jumped into the vortex. Arturo took his wife by the hand and led her to follow suit. They emerged in an alley in the town.

“Other worlds?” said Christina.

“That was our reaction the first time too. The VURT has a geographical displacement affect too. We’ve never arrived in exactly the same location. It seems to take us within 20 kilometres of our last position on the previous world,” said Quinn.

They walked around the block and looked at a hi-fi store window, to see a television screening news about the American President.

“Why’s George Bush  so young?” asked Christina, “He’s cuter than Ronald Reagan anyway.”

“He’s the son of the counterpart of the George Bush we know. He seems to be the president in most of the worlds we’ve visited,” said Arturo, “I don’t think he’ll have interdimensional relations with you though.”

“I was just teasing. You know I’ve never agreed with adultery. Honey, it’s amazing,” said Christina, “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“Every world we’ve visited is 12 years out of phase with ours, 12 years ahead,” said Heather, “Somewhere on this very world, there are probably versions of ourselves who are 12 years older than we are.”

“I’m glad we can all come and go as we please,” said Quinn, “I’d hate to think of us caught in random vortex travelling, caught up in the wilder events of some of the stranger worlds out there.”

“Which reminds me,” said Arturo, taking a fourth VURT out of his trench coat pocket, “This is for you, Christina. I’ll teach you how to use it. Just in case anything ever happens to one of the VURTs, or we get separated, each of us can always get home with one of these. It may not drop you on our doorstep. In fact it’s most unlikely, but you won’t find it too hard to get to our place once you know how to program the coordinates of our world.”

“You’re on holidays from teaching for two or three months,” said Christina, “Maybe we could have an interdimensional vacation and make it a second honeymoon.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” said Maximillian, “If you young people are alright on your own, we’d like to leave now.”

“Go for it, Professor,” said Heather, and watched them vortex out of the parallel world, “I’m a teacher too, and you’re a university student. That puts both of us on holidays as well. Why don’t we see what other worlds are open to tourists from 12 years past.”

Quinn and Heather vortexed into another earth, and found themselves in a thick jungle.

“It’s the first time we haven’t come out in a spacious room, a lawn or an alley, I think,” said Quinn, “The VURT seems to position its openings away from traffic laden roads and other dangers, but it’s certainly picked an unusual place this time.”

They walked for half an hour and finally sat down in exhaustion.

They were talking, when a giant hand reached down and grasped Quinn. He looked up to see that he was being held by a woman with long dark hair. She was in her late thirties, and was gigantic in height. She brought her other hand down, picked up Heather Hanley and took them both over to a giant garden table, set them down and sat down.

They had reached the giant earth, which was one of the few other worlds either undetected or avoided by the Cromags during the invasion of 1995-1999. They had found the world quite early in the piece, but known that they could not prevail against the inhabitants. Just as a quirk of science had put young Quinn’s 1996 twelve years behind the times of the other worlds, some quirk of science had also made everyone and everything on this world gigantic. Yet none of this was known to the newer younger team of sliders composed of the Arturos, Quinn and Heather.

“Look what I’ve found in my garden,” she said.

“Are we still on earth?” asked Quinn, “Our travel device has never taken us off earth before.”

“Of course you’re on earth,” said the giantess, “And whether or not you’re going to be free depends on me.”

She was very pretty. Had he never met Heather Hanley, he could easily have fallen for her, but nobody could compete with his long standing love for Heather.

“Surely you wouldn’t kidnap us?” said Heather.

“You shouldn’t assume anything about me. I almost joined the military. I’ve always been capable and confident. If I hadn’t met my husband, and hadn’t had my heart softened by his courtship, I’d have been a very different woman indeed, and our children might never have been born. But I’ve always been able to discipline them, and you’re a lot smaller than they are.”

“I respect your position, and we didn’t mean to intrude in your garden,” said Quinn, “We actually thought we’d ended up in a jungle. There’s no way to control just exactly where the vortex dumps us on each parallel earth we visit.”

“Parallel earth? You mean like in Star Trek or that Superfriends episode “Universe of Evil?” said the giantess.

“More or less,” said Quinn, “I’m Quinn Malory, one of the two inventors of the Vortex Unit Remote Control. This is Heather Hanley, my inspiration throughout my school years and the love of my life.”

“Quinn Malory?” said the giantess, as she picked Quinn up, held him in front of her eyes and stared closely at him, “It’s incredible. You look almost as old as he did when we first met, and facially, I can’t tell the difference except for your size.”

“He?” asked Quinn, “Do I have a giant double on this world who is known to you?”

“I guess you could say that he’s known to me,” said the giantess, “My name is Mrs Maggie Malory, wife of your counterpart, formerly Maggie Beckett. Aren’t you cute?”

“Suppose you continue being the wife of his counterpart and put him down,” said Heather coldly.

“Relax, sweetie. I’m fascinated, not tempted. I love my family. It was just like looking into a tiny window to the past.”

She put Quinn back down on the table beside Heather.

“Thank you,” said Quinn.

“Sorry I was so defensive,” said Heather, “He means a lot to me.”

“As my Quinn means to me,” said Maggie, “But tell me, are there other worlds out there with people my size?”

“None that we know of. They all seem to be our size, yet their time phase coincides with your world. So the other Maggies and Quinns out there would be your age.”

(In fact the original Sliders had also visited three worlds in succession, where characters and events seemed to be more closely duplicated than usual. On one of the worlds, time flowed backwards, causing the Sliders to be mistaken for criminals and arrested for a crime, before it had happened.)

“Ages,” said Maggie, “He’s a few years younger than me, not that it would stop us.”

“It didn’t stop us either,” said Heather, “Quinn was my student at school.”

“And never was a student luckier,” he said, “Of course she fell for the adult Quinn of another world first.”

“I guess there’s no point in asking you to make me one of those devices then,” said Maggie, “I’d love to take my family on a tour of other worlds, but we’d be too big to travel safely into them without frightening people and accidentally causing property damage everywhere we went.”

“I suspect that if you’d been meant to take those journeys, your Quinn would have invented a giant VURT himself,” said Quinn, “But a family is something to treasure far more than a visit to a parallel universe.”

“I agree,” she said, “I’m sure my daughters would love to have a doll in the image of their father’s youth, and you’d keep them amused as well, Heather.”

Heather backed towards the edge of the table.

“Not much point in jumping off, is there?” asked Maggie, amused.

Quinn backed towards Heather and opened a vortex in front of him.

“Let’s go, Heather!” he said, and was about to step towards it.

From above the vortex, Maggie’s hand came down between them and the vortex opening.

“I said you were at my mercy, little ones, and you’re going to be my daughters’ dolls, whether you like it or not.”

Unseen by Maggie, Heather had placed her VURT behind her back, while standing right at the edge of the table. She had pointed her VURT towards the lawn below and opened a vortex. Now she put her free arm around Quinn’s waist and pulled him backwards off the table. They fell down into the vortex before Maggie could do anything to stop them. She reached into the vortex with her giant hand, but found the pull of its vacuum forces was hurting her arm. She yanked it free and watched the vortex close.

The other end of the vortex deposited Heather and Quinn on another world.

“That’s the first time a vortex has been opened below us and we’ve jumped into it,” said Quinn.

(The stunt had once been used by the original Sliders to escape from another world by jumping off the side of a cliff and sliding into an opening vortex.)

“We made it!” he said, “You saved us, Heather!”

He hugged her for some time, and then leaned his head back to see why she had remained so silent. She looked sad.

“Are you alright?” he asked, “We’ll never be dolls for anyone now. We’ll just have to avoid that world. I was thinking of building a new capacity into the VURTs, to enable us to tag and block the coordinates of hostile worlds we don’t want to revisit.”

“Your giant double married her,” said Heather, “There’s probably a Maggie on this world too. Are you sure about me?”

“I always have been. Besides, I don’t think her character would ever come close to yours, even if it was the character of a Maggie not corrupted by the advantage of giant size,” said Quinn, “I’ve loved you since I started high school, and that will never change. In fact I used to wonder if you were settling for me, when you really wanted the older Quinn.”

“Maybe I thought about it many times, but I set my sights on making it work with you,” she said.

“And you have. He told you he had to leave. He must not have been able to control the vortex timing like we can. Maybe he couldn’t even control which worlds they went to, but you’ve kept encouraging me to find the way to perfect it, and with Arturo, we did. We can go to any world we like, and always come back to this one. I built an extra compartment into my VURT, thinking that I’d like to take something out of it at a suitable moment on another world, and I’d like to do that now.”

He removed the lid of a small compartment on his VURT and took out an engagement ring.

“Heather Hanley, when I’ve graduated from university, will you marry me?”

“Quinn, you know I will,” she said, and they kissed.

Peter Parker was not just a sixteen year old school boy with a childish crush. He had seen something in Betty Brant, which was neither present in Gwen Stacy nor Mary Jane Watson. He had asked Betty to the school formal. She had almost been prepared to go, until Peter’s meddling Aunt May had interfered in Peter’s life behind his back, warning off Betty, having decided for Peter that Betty was too old for him.

Peter hadn’t been aware of his Aunt’s meddling. Betty had simply come up to him and told him she could not go to the formal with him, having previously stated that she was 20, and that it seemed “too weird.”

Now Spider-Man was swinging across the city. He had not faced any super villains that night, just caught a second storey man attempting a burglary, and enjoyed the city lights.

Now he was taking a swing past the Daily Bugle, when he heard a scream from an alley. He swung in and stuck to the top of the wall, high above.

“Don’t fight it, sister. Just hand over your wallet, your jewellery, and then we’ll see what else you can do to make us happy,”  said one of two muggers. They were menacing Betty Brant, who was on her way home from a late shift at work. He was furious, and was just about to leap down and shoot webs at them.

Then he had another thought. There was still time to take a different approach. Spider-Man swung around the building corner, and down to the street. He changed to Peter Parker, and then ran into the alley, to find the muggers pocketing Betty’s valuables. Peter ran towards them, admonishing himself to use just enough strength to defeat them, without showing his spider agility and super strength.

He grabbed the first mugger, and saw a fist swinging towards him. With his spider sense, Peter perceived the movement as occurring in slow motion. He pivoted the man’s body, causing the blow to glance off his body. Then he hit the man hard, sending him flying away from Betty.

The second thug struck at him too, but Peter dodged his approach altogether, and then kicked at the man’s hip, knocking him over altogether. He removed the wallet and jewellery from their pockets, and returned it to Betty.

“Now beat it, and don’t ever come near her again!” said Peter.

They grunted and staggered away.

“Peter! If you hadn’t come along, I’d…”

She was crying now, and he held her close to him.

“It’s over for good. They won’t be back.”

“But what were you doing around here at this time?” she asked.

“To be honest, I was wondering why someone I care for so much wouldn’t give me a chance. I found myself thinking it through in the most relevant part of town, near the office where I met you.”

“I’m sorry, Peter.”

“Is it that I’m too young to be attractive to you?”

“No. Not at all.”

“You were seriously thinking of going to the formal with me, weren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So whatever discouraged you is something you can tell me.”

“I don’t want to cause you any …”

She found it difficult to implicate Aunt May.

“What could you cause me, but happiness?”

“It’s your Aunt. She wasn’t happy with me seeing you.”

“Aunt May. It’s one thing for her to put a curfew on my time out in her house. It’s another to warn off the girl I love,” said Peter.

He had been obedient and loyal to Aunt May, partly out of natural respect, and partly out of guilt for the callous decision he had once made, which had cost his Uncle Ben his life. This time he wanted to assert himself.

“Betty, I love you. I could go out with Gwen. I could go out with Mary Jane. Both are attractive girls, but I wouldn’t be IN LOVE. I’ve only felt that for you. If you still don’t feel the same way enough to give me a chance, I won’t push you. But either way, I am going to speak my mind to Aunt May.”

Something struck a chord in Betty Brant’s heart.

“He risked his life for me tonight, because he really loves me,” she thought, “He’s going to stand up to his only supportive relative, because he really loves me. I’ve been too quick to dismiss him. For a 16 year old school child, he’s so much more mature than J Jonah Jameson.”

Betty looked into Peter’s eyes and saw the sincerity of his declaration of his feelings.

“I’m sorry I missed the formal, Peter. Will you give ME another chance?”

“Abolutely. And don’t worry about Aunt May. If it comes down to it, I’d move in with Harry Osborn permanently. Other people don’t decide my relationships for me, only you.”

“I never imagined you could fight like that,” said Betty.

“I hope I never need to again. Would you like to come into my place for coffee on your way home?”

Betty was about to say, “But what about your Aunt?”

Then she checked herself. This was an opportunity to see if Peter really was going to prevent his Aunt’s dominance from over riding their relationship.

“I’d like that,” said Betty.

They made their way to Peter’s house, well within his curfew time, and he took Betty to the kitchen, and made some coffee. Aunt May came down the stairs, while they were drinking it. He would avoid telling her, that he knew she’d spoken to Betty. He would state his feelings for her before his Aunt, defending the girl’s right to be with him and showing he had no reason to side line Betty in his Aunt’s favour.

“Miss Brant. I was given to understand-“ began Aunt May.

“I have an announcement to make,” said Peter, as though he had no idea of the previous tension between the two women, “I’m in love with Betty, and I’ve asked her to be my steady girlfriend. I’ve never been this happy since Uncle Ben was alive.”

“Oh,” said Aunt May, removing the caustic look which she had been giving Betty.

Something told May Parker that this would not be the time to attempt any assertion of authority. Her nephew had clearly set his sights on Betty, far more seriously than she had first realised.

“I made some cake today, dear. Would you and Peter like to have some?”

“Good old Aunt May,” he thought, “She recovers well.”

“Thank you,” said Betty, “That would be nice.”

Peter thanked his aunt too, and she served them both some cake on small saucers.

“I’ll leave you two young people to talk down here. It’s time I turned into bed,” said May.

Peter wanted to leave the two together briefly, and said he had to check something on his computer quickly. He left the room.

“I’m sorry dear,” said May, “Sometimes I think I know best, when I don’t always. I was wrong this time.”

“He’s worth looking after,” said Betty.

Peter returned, and said goodnight to his aunt. He led Betty to the couch, and they sat and talked. Peter didn’t know it, but he had just been tested and passed Betty’s test.

“You’re quite a guy, Peter.”

“If you’d met me a year ago, I might not have seemed very mature. I think my Uncle Ben’s death, and meeting you have changed me so much.”

Not to mention acquiring the proportionate speed and strength of a spider.

Betty looked into his eyes, but made no moves. He asked himself whether she would think it was too soon, if he kissed her. Would she feel pressured? He had just saved her from robbery and who knows what else. What was she thinking?

He did his best to get into her head. Then it came to him. Betty was waiting for another sign that he was not too immature for her. She wanted Peter to take the lead, like an adult man. She wanted him to make the first move.

Nervously, but hopefully, Peter put his hand gently around her upper arms, and leaned in slowly. He would give her a chance to pull away and resist his advance, just in case he had guessed wrongly about her expectations at this point. He did not want her thinking that he presumed any privilege because of his rescue.

Betty was not flinching. She had closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side a little.

Peter slowly and pleasantly kissed a beautiful woman who had once told him he was at least four years too young for her. He took his hands off her arms, and she put her arms around him, and went with the kiss with enthusiasm. He hugged her tightly and felt the sweet feminine softness of her face. She had treated him as something more than the insignificant whipping boy that her blustering hypocritical employer had considered Peter to be.

He loved her. All of this put a new slant on his Spider-Man career. Now it meant something to be coming home with a future partner in his thoughts. Perhaps the Avengers and the Fantastic Four and the other teams of super heroes had enough members well equipped to take up the slack. He would help fight super villains on occasions, but he hadn’t asked to be bitten by a radioactive spider. He had asked Betty to be with him, and kept asking until she’d said yes. Admittedly his spider powers had opened the door to the development of this opportunity to be with her, but he had a life of his own to lead. Spider-Man took direction from Peter Parker. It should not be the other way around.

It was the 21st century. Much greater age differences in such relationships were now common place, with the term ‘Cougar’ and the phrase ‘toy boy’ being used as regular components of the English language.

Peter and Betty began dating frequently, and she was proud to be seen with him at his next school social function. Jonah Jameson become strangely more endearing towards the boy, having seen the happiness in his secretary’s eyes and observed the reason.

All in all, things were looking up for Peter Parker.

Betty had her 21st Birthday in a few weeks, and held a big party with people from the office and various other friends invited to her apartment. She was proud to show Peter off and dance with him publicly, now that he had proved the depth of his feelings for her.

When all of the guests had gone home, except for Peter, Betty asked if he’d like to stay the night on the couch. He thanked her, and called Aunt May to explain. His Aunt had seen how the boy had grown up in his defence of his romance with Betty, and had begun to allow him a lot more autonomy.

“So Peter, how many months until you’re 17?” she asked.

“Another six,” he said, “Do you mind being five years older than me for a while?”

“No,” she said, “Besides, you’re a science student. You know it really means I’m 4 ½ years older than you all the time.”

“I think it’s lovely,” said Peter.

“Of course it also means, that for the next three years, you’re a teenager dating a woman in her twenties.”

“Yes,” he said shyly, and then went silent.

“What are you thinking?” she asked at last.

“I just hope that you feel as lucky about it as I do,” he said.

“I will if you kiss me,” said Betty, and Peter enjoyed granting that request.

A week later, Peter Parker was swinging through the city one night in his Spider-Man costume, when he noticed something moving on one of the walls of the buildings. It looked like a man in a black outfit, with a white spider emblem on the back.

“Maybe some guy with suction cups wants his own cartoon show,” thought Spider-Man, “It should would be much quicker to draw and colour hundreds of frames of his outfit than all the detailed black web lines on the red parts of my outfit.”

Spider-Man swung into the side of the building.

“Hey there, pal. I guess I just lost my monopoly on wall-crawling. What will my fans think of me now?”

The man made a strange noise, and turned his head towards Spider-Man, and gave him the shock of his life.

The costume was empty. There was simply nobody in it. He couldn’t see inside it, but it was simply flat and couldn’t possibly have a human body in it.

“Bond with symbiote, Spider-being,” it said.

With that the costume climbed onto Spider-Man’s back.

“I’m sorry to be rude to the headless Spider-Man, but I’ve just started the romance I’ve always wanted, and I’m not really into male bonding … You are male, aren’t you?”

The costume said nothing. Apparently it was where it wanted to be.

“Alright, I’m also a science student. I’ll take you home and analyse you later when I’ve got time,” he said, and swung back to his own neighbourhood, through the window and into his room.

He took the empty costume off his back.

“I’ve got it,” he whispered, “Jameson paid Stilwell to invent a remote controlled self inflating Spider-Man balloon and sent it out to discredit me. The nerve of the guy, when he’s the one whose moustache makes him look like Adolf or Saddam. It’s my underwear drawer for you. I always thought my foes were becoming more empty headed every day.”

He put the costume in his drawer, locked it, took off his own Spider-Man costume, slipped into a pair of pyjama shorts and climbed into bed. It wasn’t cold enough to wear anything else, and he felt more comfortable without clothing after spending half the night exerting himself in tight leotard like material.

In the morning, Peter Parker awoke to find that he was wearing the black Spider-Man costume, and remembered its request to bond.

“Looks like I’ve made a friend,” he said, “But I can’t go to school like this.”

Suddenly the costume seemed to pluck the image of his college clothes from his mind and actually changed its appearance to resemble them, leaving nothing over his head where the mask had been. It was as if the mask had retracted down to become nothing more than the neck of his sweater.

Peter went to school, and was on his way home at the end of the day, when he saw the Black Cat swinging through the city on some lines that she shot from a device on her wrists. She could retract each one in turn and fire it again after the other had been used. Police cars were following her.

The Black Cat had just robbed a jewellery store of a fortune in tiny diamonds, which would not take up much space in the small bag she had tied to her belt.

Darting into an alley, Peter willed his costume to take on its black Spider-Man outfit appearance, and then began web shooting his way after the Black Cat. Both of them soon lost the police completely, and the Black Cat tried to speed up to lose Spider-Man. Yet the costume seemed to make him stronger than before, and faster too.

He was soon within a meter of the Black Cat, and about to put out his free arm to grab her in mid air, when the costume suddenly shrank him down to the size of a real spider. He was still a human being, but a very small one.

Oh the things we Marvel fans do for our readers here at giantessworld.  Excelsior! See ya. Face front true believer.

He could not halt his swing towards the Black Cat, and he suddenly realised he didn’t want to. The costume was giving him a way to catch her. He swung directly into the Black Cat’s hair and landed just beside the back of her cheek.

She felt a slight touch and looked back, but saw that Spider-Man seemed to have disappeared.

“Must be the wind,” she mused aloud, “I guess the Spider-Man couldn’t keep up with me in it. Maybe a girl just has to let her hair flap around sometimes.”

The Black Cat swung to her own home, and lifted her hands towards her face.

“She’s going to try to grab me,” thought Spider-Man.

Then he saw that she was about to remove her mask.

Spider-Man knew exactly what to do. He grabbed a large handful of her hair tresses and swung them around both her forearms, using his enhanced Spider strength to draw her wrists together. Then he used her hair to tie her wrists tightly. She was as good as handcuffed by her own hair, and in a very difficult position.

He stood, sticking tight to the results of his handiwork, and looked into her relatively gigantic angry face.

“Spider-Man!” she said, “So I didn’t lose you back there. I don’t know how you got this new shrinking power, but you untie me now, you little pestilence!”

“Now, now, darkest kitty. You should watch your mouth, or your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man will have to wash your mouth out with scope.”

“Stop making smart retorts and get ME out of my hair, you little clown-“

Just as she said the word clown, opening her mouth wide, Spider-Man dived into her mouth and landed on her tongue. His costume had retracted into apparent nothingness during the dive, presumably to keep itself from being saturated in tongue water. He suddenly found himself lying on her tongue with nothing but his pyjama shorts to cover him. The costume was covering only the back part of the shorts that was facing the roof of her mouth.

He began to carry out his threat, and rubbed her tongue with his hands, to simulate a washing motion. Then she suddenly moved her tongue and did her level best to draw him into her throat. Even at that size, his enhanced Spider strength was too much for her. He fought against her tongue and won, and then forced her mouth open again, climbed out, and climbed down her struggling body to the floor, noticing that his costume was now fully covering him again, and had been from the moment that he left her mouth.

“I’ll step on you and crush you like the bug you are!” shouted the Black Cat.

Spider-Man jumped a little, and back flipped to avoid her, as the Black Cat raised her huge foot and brought it down, missing him by inches and stomping hard into the carpet.

They continued with similar motions for a while, until she finally managed to step down on him. He felt the tremendous pressure of her stockinged foot pressing down on him, and used all his enhanced Spider strength to push against it.

Is the Black Cat starting a crusade to stamp out super heroes? Nuff said?

“Even if I get this foot off me, she’ll just try to squish me with the other one!” he thought, and realised that the only safe place to be was on top of the other foot.

“I guess you’re keener than me to take our relationship to the next STEP-ON,” said Spider-Man, and finally heaved the foot off himself, and pounced his way onto her other foot, before she could raise it any higher.

“I guess we just got off on the wrong foot,” said Spider-Man, and reached around her ankle with his arms and tied a web line to it. Then he swung around her other leg and snared it in the web line as well, and pulled both feet together and tied her tight.

The Black Cat fell to the ground and he looked side on at her angry mouth.

“Alright, you’ve beaten me,” she said, “I’m sorry I tried to stamp on you. It was just the heat of our combat. Maybe I can still make it worth your while to let me go.”

“Sorry, but diamonds aren’t a Spider-Man’s best friend,” he said.

“I wasn’t thinking of the diamonds,” said the Black Cat, “Maybe I can give you something you’d really enjoy at that size.”

“A giant massage! You’re too kind, but I won’t take that LYING DOWN,” said Spider-Man.

“Always with the jokes, but I meant this,” said the Black Cat.

Before he knew what was happening, she had brought her relatively giant lips towards him and kissed his tiny face and upper body. How was he feeling that? Then he realised that her eyes couldn’t see him while her lips were so close, that the costume had known this and retracted again, to enable him to feel the sensation of her giant kiss.

He quickly retreated as the costume reformed around him.

“Sorry, but no Kitty Kissy for me,” he said, unwilling to put Betty at risk by telling the Black Cat that she was his girlfriend.

“Why? Are you and Spider-Woman seeing each other?” asked the Black Cat.

“Never even met her,” said Spider-Man, “But think of that bag of diamonds which the cops are going to find you with. I couldn’t encourage you to STEAL it with a kiss, now could I?”

Spider-Man suddenly found himself able to will the costume to restore his size. Then he picked up her telephone, called the police and gave them the address, which he found typed on a bill addressed to a Felicia Hardy sitting on the table.

“You stay there, web slinger. You’re wanted too, whatever Captain Stacy thinks,” said the officer.

“I know I’m wanted, but let’s face it, officer: the Black Cat’s really not my type,” said Spider-Man, “Enjoy the arrest. I’ve got to swing.”

Spider-Man hung up and swung out of the building and back to the alley. His backpack was still webbed to a high wall where he’d left it, where nobody could get at it. He resumed his Peter Parker appearance and went home to do his homework.

So I rang Stan and asked, "Why don't we have him tell Betty that his pyjama shorts got ...?"

Two weeks later, Spider-Man was swinging through the city again, when his heart sank. He swung past the balcony of a restaurant on the top floor of a skyscraper building and saw Betty Brant having dinner with Ned Leeds.

He couldn’t confront her as Spider-Man. He had to do it as Peter Parker. It was still early evening. He kept tabs on them until Ned dropped her off at home at 10:00 pm and left. Spider-Man changed to Peter Parker and went up to her apartment and knocked on the door. Betty opened it and gaped in surprise.

“Peter! It’s very late,” she said in her sleeveless nightdress.

She had grown her hair long in the months that they had started dating. It now fell almost to her shoulders. The combination of her hairstyle and that dress made her look more beautiful than ever. He had to win her back.

“We have to talk,” he said softly, “I … saw you with Ned at the restaurant tonight.”

“How?” she asked, “I didn’t see you there.”

“I was outside. You know how I take pictures of Spider-Man for J.J.”

“I thought I saw Spider-Man swing past,” said Betty, “Come in.”

He entered and she shut the door and walked to her bedroom and sat on her bed. Peter sat beside her.

“Peter, I like you, and I know you like me. Yet you’ve stood me up so many times, even run out in the middle of dates. You make a lot of money off our common employer by selling the pictures you get of Spider-Man, but I would have thought that, after all your speeches about loving me, that you’d put our nights ahead of some excuse to run off and shoot more Spider-Man snaps.”

“Betty, you don’t understand. Spider-Man has to do what he does, for the good of the city.”

“But YOU don’t have to document it around the clock,” said Betty.

“I guess it’s time I trusted you with everything,” said Spider-Man, “If I don’t, then I couldn’t blame you for leaving me if you did.”

He willed his costume to take on its Spider-Man costume look. Betty stared in surprise.

“You’re Spider-Man! No wonder you could fight off those thugs the night we got together.”

“Yes, but I’ll do anything to keep you, Betty. Some of my new powers are in this costume. If you don’t want me to be Spider-Man, I’ll give the costume to some non-powered Super Hero, and he can replace Spidey.”

“Do you like being Spider-Man?”

“Most of the time.”

“Then I wouldn’t want you to give up part of who you are. I just want you to share everything with me.”

“I guess you did start seeing Ned because I kept secrets. From now on, I want to tell you everything,” said Peter, “including this.”

He willed the costume to shrink him to tiny size and then retract again.

“It’s amazing!” she said, “You look cute in those PJ shorts too!”

“You think so?”

“Definitely,” she said, lying down on the bed, “How about you show me your acrobatic skills?”

You're in for a real treat today, and so is Betty Brant. This time our web slinging hero uses his climbing powers like never before. Don't go away...

He jumped, somersaulted in mid air, and landed on her stomach.

Betty put her spare pillow on top of the other one, and sat up in bed, leaning against the pillows which rested against the wall of the room.

“Let’s see how well you can climb,” she said.

Peter climbed up her dress until he got near her chest.

“Don’t be shy, little Spider-Boy. I thought Super Heroes would surmount any obstacle.”

He accepted the implied invitation and kept on climbing until he had surmounted her appealing obstacles and reached her shoulder.

“That was nice,” she said, “I still can’t believe Spider-Man is just a boy, let alone one I’ve been dating.”

“JUST a boy.”

“In a cute sweet kind of ‘just’ way. Is there anything you’ve wanted to do with me at this size?” she asked.

Peter immediately recalled the Black Cat’s kiss. It had been physically pleasurable, but lacked the joy of doing it with the girl he loved.

“Could you kiss me? Your lips will be so big now.”

Betty steadied him with her hand and pressed her lips to him again and again, each time for periods of several seconds.

They enjoyed this for nearly an hour, and then the costume started making strange noises.

“I think my costume needs to go to the Little Spiders Room,” said Peter.

“Spider-being now bond with other!” snarled the costume.

Suddenly the costume removed itself, and ran across the bed.

“Okay! I get it. You’re jealous, but don’t leave me at this size!” said Peter, and ran across the bed after the costume.

Before he could catch it, it fired its own webbing all the way up to the roof, and swung over to the windowsill, lifted the window a little and swung out into the night. Betty picked up Peter and ran to the window, opened it fully and looked out.

“It’s nowhere to be seen,” she said.

“But I’ll never get my size back,” said Peter.

“It looks that way.”

“I can’t even get home. Can I stay the night?” he asked.

“Of course you can,” she said.

Betty closed the window and lay down in bed, letting Peter rest on the pillow beside her lovely giant eyes.

“It’s funny how things work out,” she said in an amused tone of voice, “I was getting serious with Ned. I was wondering how to break it off with you, when you knocked on my door. After you shared your secret, I spent the rest of the night wondering how to break if off with Ned. Now it looks like I’m back to wondering what to do about you.”

“Do you mean you’d rather be with Ned now?”

“I think I do,” she said.

“Oh Betty, being with you is the only thing that would make being tiny worthwhile for me.”

“But it wouldn’t make it worthwhile for me, Peter. Still, maybe your change of size is not without its compensations.”

“I don’t see how.”

Betty moved her mouth towards him, and he saw the first centimetre of her tongue come out and press against his face.

So who needs other Super Hero guest stars? We think this one tells itself.

To him it seemed like a lot more than a centimetre. This gorgeous older woman was touching him with the front of a tongue which was three times the width of his head.

“That WAS nice!” said Peter, not sure how this would fit in with her plans to stay with Ned.

“I thought so too,” said Betty, “In fact it’s giving me ideas.”

Peter knew it was important not to tell her that he had been inside the Black Cat’s mouth. He had done that as part of his banter and puns, to teach her a lesson, not realising that his costume would retract and leave him surprisingly pleased by the feel of her tongue. If Betty wanted to entertain herself with similar feats, he might yet prove to her that his size would make him a more appealing long term partner than Ned.

“What might those ideas be?” he asked, in the first tone of raised hope since she’d mentioned the possibility of staying with Ned.

Betty beamed adorably at him.

“There was a young lady who swallowed a Spider.

He wriggled and heard how she giggled, inside her.

She swallowed the Spider: a really cute guy,

Who’d somehow become only two inches high,” she said.

“Swallowed! Betty it won’t work. I can only stick to dry surfaces. I could never climb back up your wet throat and out again.”

“I should certainly hope not,” said Betty, “If you did that, I might as well not have eaten you.”

“But Betty, you can’t do this to me!”

“Actually I can’t do it to Ned. I can most easily do it to you. I think I can sleep with the light on for one night. Would you like to enjoy the view out here for the last time?”

“Yes,” he said in desperation, “I never thought you’d do this, not even during that time when you turned me down.”

“Well I never thought my boyfriend was a shrinking Spider-Man until tonight,” said Betty, “I guess you’ll have a chance to think about it in my tummy after breakfast. Goodnight, cutey.”

She gave him what might well be his last kiss, and shut her eyes. He stared at her beauty in surprise at all that had happened that evening. Then he climbed off the back of the pillow and started making his way up the wall. The roof would be the only place that she couldn’t get at him.

He kept looking down at her beautiful face, as his hands and knees or feet would stick to the wall’s surface. She looked lovely, sleeping peacefully like that, no doubt dreaming of the pleasure she would have from eating him in the morning.

Then he saw her yawn and looked down into her mouth. Betty’s mouth was beautiful. If not for the danger it represented, he would have loved to move around inside it. He only realised that now. In a short time, he had become aware of the properties of giantess dating. He would have to stick to the roof all night and then wait her out until she went to work in the morning.

I don't know why she swallowed the Spider,

That friendly neighbourhood secret confider.

Excelsior!

Welcome back to the Marvel Reduction Hour. Back in the 1960s, when Marvel first started the Spectacular Spider-Man comic, Stan never dreamed of the SIZE of such a great BODY of work, but perhaps we did. See ya!

While Betty was at work, he could plan some other way to get out of her apartment. He wondered if his ordinairy Spider strength could lift the window now.

Betty closed her mouth, but then she opened her eyes. She turned her head and couldn’t see him on the pillow. Then she looked around, until she saw him climbing the wall. She stood up on the bed, as he scrambled just out of her reach. Betty grabbed a pillow and swung it at him, swatting him off the wall and catching him in her free hand.

“Did I hurt you, little Petey?” she asked.

“No, my Spider power saved me from the impact,” he said, and struggled to break her grip.

It was impossible now. At that size, and without the costume, his ordinairy Spider strength could not move her relatively gigantic fingers. She sat back down in the bed, leaning against both pillows.

“Did you really think you could crawl out of this new stage in our relationship?” she asked, reminding him of one of the quips he’d made to the Black Cat.

He decided to respond in kind.

“You were driving me up the wall,” he said.

Betty giggled hysterically.

“Teensy weensie Spider climbed up to Betty’s neck.

Betty used her pouting lips to give his face a peck.

Then, once Petey Spider had made her tongue a boat

Complete with its own water, she gulped him down her throat,” said Betty.

Before he could respond, she began licking him, this time using her whole tongue. There was no point in fighting against this, and he was enjoying it anyway … until it stopped.

“Wasn’t that at least a somewhat enjoyable preview?” she asked.

“Betty I loved it,” he said.

“Good! It’s time to make all good rhymes come true,” said Betty, “I’m sure you’ll be a Spectacular Spider-Meal.”

“No! Please Betty, no!” he called.

“Come into my parlour said the giantess to the Spider Boy,” Betty laughed.

“Am I supposed to just take this while you Brant and crave?” said Peter.

“All the better to eat you with, Little Red Spidey Food,” said Betty.

She opened her mouth and pushed him into it. He fought to no avail with all his Spider strength and then her teeth shut tight, stranding him on her tongue. She began to wrestle him with her tongue, trying to force him towards her throat. He had the strength to fight against it a little, but his other costume was gone now, and her tongue was so moist and slippery.

He finally lost all his grip and slid into Betty’s throat. Peter felt the movements as Betty swallowed eagerly, and he felt himself sliding down, down, further into the depths of her throat.

“It’s ironic,” he thought, “JJ would give her a huge raise and a promotion, if she told him she’d eaten Spider-Man, but she’ll never be able to err … cough up that LITTLE fact. If I were a Betty man, I’d say she’ll be sitting at her desk not bothered in the least by what’s happened to me.”

Betty lay down. He felt the change in position, and lay down himself and felt himself dwindling away in her tummy.

I am the most prolific voyeur in the universe, in several universes actually. It is my duty to stickybeak all the problems in the lives of a multitude of comic book characters, but never to do anything about them. Some say I took my inspiration from Australian politicians. Others think I was just given too much LEE-way. But all know me only as … the Watcher.

In the familiar universe we know so well, the marriage of Janet Van Dyne and Henry Pym broke up in the 1980s, when Henry physically struck his wife. But there are other universes, including one where the marriage of Janet and Henry dissolved in 1977, and like our own universe, this one has a sub space pathway to … the Microverse.

One day, in what earth time recorded as 1978, Arcturus Rann, Biotron, Marionette, Acroyear and other members of the Micronauts were being pursued by the evil forces of Baron Karza. They used their warp drive to pass through sub space and came out in a thick jungle full of giant flowers. Before they knew it, Karza’s ship had followed them through, and they were under heavy fire.

Karza’s ship forced Rann’s down, and both sides left their vessels to fight it out on land.

“You know the difference between you and me, Rann?” said Karza, “I would never let petty sentiment get in the way of wiping you out for good, and that’s why you’re going to lose!”

“Is that so?” came another voice, a female voice.

Suddenly a beautiful woman flew into view, with wings buzzing from her back. As both Karza’s troops and the Micronauts looked on in surprise, the woman pointed her hand in Karza’s direction and fired some powerful beam from it, which struck Karza down, knocking him off his feet. Before anyone could react, she continued to fly too fast to be targeted by the enemy’s hand held weaponry, and began shooting them down like tenpins.

The stranger then came to land beside Commander Rann.

“You should be able to put them in your ship’s brig, if you have one, or else the Avengers could find a place,” said the woman, “They’re the rest of my own team.”

“We don’t have anything large enough to serve as a brig on board,” said Acroyear, “Perhaps they’d be better off with you.”

“Large is not really an issue for me,” said the woman, and with that she began to grow and grow, and her wings receded into her body and disappeared. She was now a towering giantess, “You see, we’re all this big around here. My special power is to become your size.”

“Not to mention shoot bolts from your hands and fly at high speed,” said Marionette.

“Well that too,” said the woman, “I’m Janet Van Dyne, also known as the Wasp.”

Rann thought she was adorable at either size, and her help would be invaluable in maintaining order in the Microverse, or alternatively, in letting them use her house and garden as a safe haven.

“I’m very pleased to have you as our friend,” said Arcturus, as she lifted him up to survey her mansion and garden without being confused by the plant life, “I didn’t realize this was your garden until I got an understanding of your natural size. How did you gain the ability to shrink to our size?”

“My ex husband was Ant-Man and Giant Man, inventor of size changing techniques originally pills, later Pym Particles. He’s known as Yellow Jacket now, and still an Avenger, but not married to me. Iron Man is also an Avenger, and will easily be able to contain your enemies for you,” said the Wasp.

This part of the chapter starts with our alternate universe’s different version of the events shown in the 1982 Hulk cartoon “The Incredible Shrinking Hulk” and the January 1982 paperback comic “Stan Lee presents the Incredible Hulk” (specifically the story “The Summons of Psyklop”).

Bruce Banner had come to the conclusion that the only way to reduce the danger of the Hulk’s rampages was to make the Hulk a lot smaller. He used his experimental shrink machine to reduce himself, but found that he had been unable to turn the machine off once he started reducing. It sent him clear out of the universe and into a smaller one, where his stress turned him into the Hulk. His adventures there led him into a romance with a green skinned woman who liked him both as the Hulk and as Bruce Banner. So he decided to stay there…

Which is about all we need to know about Bruce for the purposes of this story.

Noticing Bruce’s extended absence from the scene, Rick Jones snuck into his lab, to see if Bruce had left any notes behind, perhaps hinting at more trouble from Glenn Talbot or General Ross. Instead he saw a device emitting a white ray. He went over and felt about in the path of the ray, to see what it did, and found himself suddenly shrinking. He managed to react faster than Bruce had, and by the time he had jumped aside, he was only around the height of the typical human finger.

He knew that he would need a lot of energy to go for help now, and he had been just about to ask Bruce to join him for lunch. He spent some time climbing up onto a bench, and searched for food, until he found a plate of salad which would do nicely, or at least some of it would. He began eating, and then heard footsteps. What if it was Talbot or Ross? He hid himself quickly in the salad, making sure that nobody could see him, because he couldn’t see out from the shreds of lettuce and parsley that consumed him either.

The footsteps entered the room and drew closer, and then he felt himself being picked up along with the surrounding vegetable food. Some parsley fell away, giving him a clear view of the approaching mouth of Betty Ross.

The scientist had continued walking past the salad, stopping only long enough to scoop up a suitable mouthful on the way. Rick was already in her mouth by the time he had called out.

“Betty, it’s Rick! You’re eating me!”

He was struggling to maintain any firm positioning on her slippery tongue, and the lettuce was confusing him as well. Fortunately Betty felt his movements, opened her mouth again and reached in and plucked him out.

“Rick!” she said, “I’m so sorry.”

Her full pink lips gave him a conciliatory kiss and then she held him close to her eyes and asked what happened. Rick explained and asked Betty if she could use the machine to reverse the effect. Betty tried but couldn’t operate it.

“What if Bruce used this on himself first?” she asked, “You said it was running when you came in, Rick?”

“Yes.”

“Then he’s gone too. We need an expert in shrinking and regrowth,” said Betty, “And I’m not that.”

“But my Avenger friend the Wasp is,” said Rick, “She does it herself all the time. If she can’t operate this machine in reverse, she could surely lend me some of whatever process she uses to restore her own size. Could you stock a box with more of that salad, a shrunken oxygen tank, and drop me in the letterbox at Avengers Mansion?”

Betty did so, and Rick waited until the box was opened by the Black Widow, who at this time in this universe had ended her one time criminal career and joined the Avengers.

Rick told her all that had happened so far.

“The Wasp is off with some new allies from the Microverse now,” said Black Widow, “But from what you’ve told me, I think Betty Ross passed up a good opportunity.”

“When?”

“When she had you in her mouth. Personally I’m not one for eating salad on its own. It needs a bit of meat.”

“Me!” said Rick, “I’m practically a member of the team.”

“Not anymore,” said Black Widow, “As far as the others know, I’ve reformed long ago, but I don’t think anyone will find out if I indulge myself in one brief lapse.”

“Please! You can’t do this to me!” said Rick.

“I certainly can’t do it here,” said Black Widow, “The others could return from their mission any time and see you. I think I’d better take you to my place.”

And so a teenaged boy found himself being carried off to an apartment by the most beautiful member of the Avengers. He watched in stunned silence, as Black Widow placed him into a bowl and began breaking up pieces of lettuce and dropping them in beside him, and then slicing up cucumber and adding that as well.

She took it to the couch, sat down in front of the television and began scooping up the salad and spooning it into her mouth. Then she tried to scoop up Rick, who tried running and dodging.

“And the Rick ran away from the spoon,” she taunted, and scooped him up at last, with a faster movement than he was able to avoid.

Into her mouth he was served, and he felt the mixture of apprehension and excitement as he lay on her tongue wondering if another appeal would bring out her better nature. Unlike the other members of the Avengers, Black Widow had originally been a criminal, and apparently now had no compunctions about denying Rick the chance to seek the Wasp’s help in restore his size, nor about swallowing him alive.

Rick felt himself being drawn irresistibly into her throat, and gulped downwards. For him, there was nothing more to be done, but for Black Widow, the pleasure had sparked another thought in her mind.

“I wonder if I could make use of those captured enemies of the Micronauts that Janet brought in here,” she thought…

Hank Pym, the scientist formerly known as Ant-Man, and for that matter as Giant Man and Yellow Jacket at various points in his super hero career, was now working full time as a scientist.

You may wonder how this led him to visit the Baxter Building along with Scott Summers, one of the first members of Charles Xavier’s X-Men.

Within the Baxter Building, Sue Richards was playing with her son Franklin, while Reed was using all of the scientific expertise at his disposal to make some improvements to a radio controlled toy car that he had bought Franklin for a recent birthday present. In another room, Johnny Storm’s actually, Johnny was enjoying the early days of a romance which he had once been not sure would come into fruition. In this universe, Johnny had never fallen for Crystal of the Inhumans, and would never fall for the female human torch Frankie either. For he had firmly attached himself to the beautifully tall and powerful female member of the Fantastic Four, who had filled in for Sue Richards during her maternity leave, named Thundra. Thundra was as keen on the teenager as he was on her, and the powerful hug with which she now embraced him would occupy his attention even when Ben Grimm admitted Hank Pym and Scott Summers to the building.

Soon Ben, Reed, Scott and Hank were talking together in Reed’s lab.

“I believe I have the means to rid the Fantastic Four of four of their most powerful opponents and cure Ben of the effects of the cosmic rays on him too,” said Hank, “In my new position, I have been able to gain access to all of the gamma research equipment once used by the missing Dr Bruce Banner. I recalled being fascinated to observe the red beam that shot from Cyclop’s eyes during an adventure that the Avengers once shared with the X-Men. I invited Cyclops to allow me to study his beam in a controlled experiment. This device I now enlarge with a blast of Pym particles, having reduced it earlier in order to easily transport it here,” is a modified version of Bruce Banner’s latest gamma ray gun, with ruby quartz lenses fitted to the sights. I believe that if Scott Summers were to look through the sights, pull the trigger and fire his own beam through the lenses and through the gun’s very discharge path of the gamma rays, the combination would in fact permanently reverse the effect of cosmic rays on anyone who has ever been struck by them. I was keen to share this possibility with Ben, but knew that the Fantastic Four would lose a powerful player if Ben were to find the happiness of having his human flesh restored to normal. So it occurred to me that the scales would be more than evenly tipped in our favour, if we sought out the Red Ghost and his three super apes and had Scott blast them with the device first.”

“The theory sounds amazing,” said Reed, “Well Ben, what do you say we help Cyclops and Hank get after the Red Ghost and his apes, and then once we’re sure we’ve negated their powers, we can cure you too.”

“Sounds great,” said Ben, and they all headed for the pogo plane.

With all five cosmically empowered characters returned to normal, Ben was able to propose to Alicia Masters and set a date for a wedding.

In the mean time, a tiny man, who was in fact one of Baron Karza’s troops, had fled the scene, once the Wasp had gone to the aid of the Arcturus Rann and his friends. A giantess who could fly at their size and fire blasts from her hands was more than he’d bargained for in serving Karza, and a new universe of giants seemed to be the ideal place to lose oneself after going absent without leave on the Baron.

Chapter notes: I can’t remember these days, if the idea used in this story is one that’s just been in my head for ages and never written down, or whether I put it in another story. If so, excuse the repetition on account of this being a parallel universe, where events in the Marvel mainstream universe can always be duplicated anyway.

While on the run, Baron Karza’s former minion stopped to search for food in one of the giant’s living quarters, which for two reasons happened to belong to Natasha the Black Widow. The first reason is that this story is due for some more giantess vore, and the second reason is that the Black Widow will shortly deliver a pun guaranteed to entertain any fans of Bill Bixby’s Hulk series.

It was during his raiding of Natasha’s kitchen, that the Black Widow silently entered the room and caught him at it.

“Don’t make me hungry, little man. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry,” said Natasha, and reached down and gripped the tiny man by his legs.

He begged for mercy, as she lifted him high into the air, and then to his surprise dangled him right over her opening mouth.

“Don’t, please don’t!” he called, as he realized what she was going to do.

The Black Widow lowered him into her mouth, and swallowed him without the slightest regret.

Now we did indicate that the cure of the Thing would be the first of two cures. You see, I am the Watcher, and I even know of the one of our race’s number of Watchers who broke his vow of non-interference. His name was Stanley, and he entered the mainstream Marvel Universe and was fascinated by the drama of Shakespeare’s tragedies. He felt compelled to use his powers to inject major tragic events into the lives of many super heroes. However, Stanley the nonesuch Watcher never came to the universe. As a result, Tony Stark invented the armor under more favorable conditions, never needing a chest plate to sustain his life, as his injury never occurred. Daredevil acquired his super powers without losing his sight, and there were other examples too numerous to mention here… except for the fact that Galactus was destroyed at birth by the Beyonder, so that none of his atrocities would ever be committed in the name of his own survival.

The Thing and the Hulk were the two major tragedies that were still allowed to occur in this universe, perhaps because they were not caused by Stanley the renegade Watcher. You have just read how the Thing was cured.

Having joined the Micronauts, Janet Van Dyne travelled with them through the Microverse, exploring far beyond the realms already known to Arcturus Rann and his old friends, this time venturing into the very planet where the Hulk had ended up after the overexposure to the shrinking device.

Soon they found the Hulk. As Janet prepared to appeal to any memory the Hulk might have of her from his brief stint in the Avengers, she soon found that she didn’t need to. This Hulk spoke with the same tone of voice as the Hulk she remembered, but with all of the reason and self control of Dr Bruce Banner.

“In this world, away from the constant pursuit by General Ross and Major Talbot’s armed forces, I was able to experiment in peace, whenever I was in my Bruce Banner form,” said the Hulk, “Which was far more often, because of the peace that my green princess sweetheart offered me. I was able to build a device that sent controlled doses of gamma radiation into my system, purging the manic levels that powered the Hulk’s rages, and leaving my mind in control. With this wrist watch device, all I have to do is dial the letters H, U, L, K, to transform to the Hulk, and later dial K, L, U, H, to return to being Bruce Banner. The Hulk will never be a menace again on earth or this micro planet.”

“I’m so glad to learn that,” said Janet, “It makes me even happier to have made this exploratory voyage.”

They stayed on the Hulk’s micro planet for a while, and then continued their journey, until they were ready to return to earth.

Dr Bruce Banner, now living as the reigning hero of a micro planet believed that he had cured himself of the Hulk’s personality, while retaining the benefits of being able to transform into the powerful green being of his physical prowess. However, things are not always as they seem. Dr Banner was indeed able to enjoy the best of both worlds, but it was not that his new experiment in gamma radiation was any more advanced than the previous one. The secret actually lay in one unknown factor, which had contributed to Bruce’s initial transformations into a rampaging man-beast of low intellect and little self control.

Bruce Banner, like a number of other men in his field, had been a member of the ESU (Eccentric Scientists Union). It was one of the traits of their members, that they all wore dark purple trousers. Knowing this, an evil master criminal named Mr Dyed bought the Eccentric Scientists Union’s clothing store, and applied his most destructive invention to every pair of purple trousers that he sold: namely a transparent dye that would seep through the material of the trousers, enter the pores of the skin, and turn anyone who exposed himself to radiation or chemicals into a rampaging green lunatic.

Nobody, not General Ross, not his daughter Betty, not Major Glen Talbot, not even the greatest scientific and medical minds among the team members of the mighty Avengers (such as Dr Don Blake and former member Henry Pym, who were not members of ESU) were aware that Mr Dyed’s drugged purple trousers were responsible for Bruce Banner’s loss of most of his mental faculties, whenever gamma radiation transformations left him in his Hulk body.

However, once winning the heart of a microscopic green princess, after being shrunken to microscopic size himself after exposure to his laboratory’s shrinking ray, Bruce Banner soon began to change his wardrobe, so that it was from then on supplied by the master tailor of the micro planet. Once the transparent dye was no longer reacting with his gamma irradiated body, Bruce retained his intelligence and sense of reason whenever he was the Hulk.

However, another innocent scientist was not so lucky. As he also wore ESU clothing store purple trousers with Mr Dyed’s transparent poison on them, Dr Curt Connors also turned into a rampaging green beast, although not a hulking gamma-irradiated one. Instead, he grew back his right arm, a tail, and the scales and facial features of a giant lizard. (Well I may not work evangelism into every story, although not in the least ashamed of doing God’s work, but it’s important to use the word “giant” every now and again in a gts tale/tail, isn’t it?)

And so, in this parallel What-If-esque universe known only to Uatu the Watcher, the Lizard continued his own destructive rampages wearing nothing but purple trousers and his new green hued reptilian physique. How this ties in with the rest of the story is something that the authors don’t really know (not even Timescrybe2 who wrote this chapter). But we thought it worth letting you know the facts behind it anyway. Be here next chapter, when Carycomic comes up with something a lot saner than this latest divergence into the ridiculous. Nuff said, true believer. Excelsior. Face front. Etc etc etc…

Chapter End notes:  All references and witticisms concerning evangelism are Timescrybe2’s compulsive behavior.

During his wild manic state as the Lizard, Curt Connors broke into Norman Osborn’s research wing at Oscorp and prepared to steal some material which he thought would help him to turn all of the city’s people into reptilian creatures like himself. Little did he know, when he was preparing this raid, that Norman Osborn himself had become increasingly mentally unbalanced since the death of his wife, and had just completed the costume and armaments of what would be his new identity: the Green Goblin.

So it was, that in this universe, the Lizard broke into Oscorp, just as Norman donned his Green Goblin gear and caught the Lizard raiding his chemicals. A furious fight ensued during which the Lizard tore Norman’s mask from his face. Osborn fought back desperately, and the two managed to kill each other. The Lizard’s corpse reverted back to its Curt Connors form and thus it was two exposed super villains who were discovered in death to have had the secret identities of Curt Connors and Norman Osborn.

Since Bruce Banner’s disappearance down into the micro planet, his former girlfriend scientist Betty Ross had been collaborating with Oscorp on new research work, specifically with Norman Osborn. So naturally, once the police had finished investigating, Betty was given continued access to his research wing. Upon examining the security video of the Lizard’s break in and subsequent fatal fight with the Green Goblin, she blamed Connors entirely for the death of Norman Osborn.

Harry Osborn was visiting his father’s grave at the cemetery one day, when he saw Mrs Connors, who had just been visiting Curt’s grave too.

She gave him a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry Harry,” she said, and put out her arms to hug him, “If I could have dissuaded Curt from his research that led him to transform into the Lizard, I would have. I never thought it would lead to him attacking your father and …”

“It’s alright,” said Harry, as she broke off, “I think it was just an unfortunate tragedy that has left us both behind in this world. At least Curt had those years of being happily married to you.”

Harry had never been close to his father, who had always been busy with work, and Mrs Connors was an incredibly beautiful widowed mother of a small boy named Billy.

“Given what I’ve told you, how did you think that the marriage was always a happy one?” asked Mrs Connors.

“Because he had such a nice wife,” said Harry, checking himself with the sudden thought that it would have been far too soon for him to have said ‘beautiful wife.’

“Thank you for your understanding, young man,” said Mrs Connors, “I think we both need each other as friends now. Come over for dinner whenever you like. It would be good for Billy to have an older friend to look up to as well.”

The first time she made dinner for them both, Harry watched her tongue as she ate. It sparkled in the well lit dining room.

They soon formed a lovely friendship. 

Billy Connors was on his way to the school bus one day, when he was walking past a large bushy area. Suddenly a ray came shooting out of the bushes and reduced him to tiny size. Then a hand reached out and snatched him into the bushes, and he saw that he was looking up at a pretty lady with dark brown hair.

“Hello little boy, I’m Betty,” she said.

She slipped him into a bag, along with whatever device had reduced his size, and stood up, stepped out of the bushes when nobody was looking and began walking. Billy recalled that his father’s friend Peter Parker once said something about having a crush on a lady named Betty who worked with him at the Daily Bugle. He wondered why the woman had done this curious thing to him.

Soon he was removed from the bag and saw that Betty had set up a camera.

“Now little Billy, you’re going to be in a special mini-movie I’m going to make,” said Betty, “A film of me eating a little boy. I’m going to swallow you whole.”

The camera was on a mini-tripod mounted on the far end of the dining table. Betty sat down and took Billy gently in her fingers. She smiled at the camera, and then swished her big tongue all over Billy’s face and shoulders and neck, and then slid him into her mouth. Billy knew that there was no way out, and yet he found Betty’s behavior to be strangely affectionate, in as much as a small boy can perceive that a woman’s tongue could show affection by resting underneath him. Soon he felt himself sliding down Betty’s throat and into the top of her tummy.

Betty took the camera off the tripod and quickly drove off to deliver it to someone.

Harry Osborn had just left the house of a worried frantic Mrs Connors, promising to call her if he came across the missing Billy on his way home.

Another lady stepped into view, and fired a raygun at him, which reduced him to tiny size. She locked him in a cage, with one day's food supplies, and hid it in the woods nearby.

After school the next day, he saw Mrs Connors walking through the forest, towards him. She drew closer, and produced the key to the cage, and unlocked it. She took him out in her hand, and started walking back to the cemetery where they had first met. He wanted to thank her, but her finger was covering his mouth. His eyes could still see her walking.

She reached the cemetery gardens, and sat down on a seat. She placed him in her lap.

"Thank you so much. I don't know how you got the key, but I'm so glad you came to set me free."

"Things are actually a little more complicated than that," she said, "I found the key resting on the bonnet of my car, with a camera and this note."

Harry Osborn looked at the relatively giant handwriting, focused his vision on it, and read the letter:

Mrs Connors,

I have kidnapped your son Billy and reduced his size and eaten him. My studies of human biology have convinced me that it would take a few days before my stomach acids would begin to eat through his flesh and finish him off forever. It was your demented husband who, as the Lizard, killed the man I hoped to be with after I lost my first love some time ago.

I have shrunken the young man Harry Osborn who has become your friend. He is the son of the man I loved, but that is neither here nor there to me. Unless you use this camera to film yourself eating Harry Osborn before my acids begin to digest Billy, you will never see Billy again. If you comply, I will cough him up and return him to you good as new. When you’ve completed your task, leave the camera in the cage in the woods, in which you will now go and find the shrunken Harry Osborn. Here is a hand drawn map of where to find him. Once you have your son back, don’t even think of reporting me, as I will have a film of you eating Harry Osborn to hold over you.

"So what are we going to do? She's left you with an impossible dilemma," said Harry, somewhat distracted even under these circumstances, by how Mrs Connors looked even more stunning from the angle of a shrunken boy’s vision.

"I can still save Billy, if I do what she demanded."

"But then you'd have to lose me."

"I know. I'm sorry about that, but it can't be helped."

"It's still not fair."

"I know how you must see it that way, but I will put my child first, Harry. You've been a good friend, but now I need your help, even if you're unwilling to give it."

"It's not my fault."

"That's not your concern."

"It is, if I have to be eaten, because of it."

"Well I'm going to do it, Harry. I'm about to take you home, set up the camera, and then prepare to eat you. I expect to enjoy many years of happiness with my family after I've done so, and you'll just have to play your part reluctantly."

She stood up and carried him to the kitchen bench, and went into the dining room to set up the camera, while he jumped out the window and landed on a soft flower, and then ran through the garden.

She stepped out onto the path, and pursued and caught him, and took him inside.

She sat at her dining table with the camera running, and opened her mouth, extended her tongue, and placed him onto it, and drew him into her mouth.

After a minute, she took him out of her mouth.

"You taste very nice," she said respectfully.

"And you look prettier than ever," he said suddenly.

"Harry, I had no idea you felt this way!"

"I thought you were lovely from that first day in the cemetery."

"Well thank you. You're very sweet."

"I'll never be able to kiss anyone now."
"I know."

She kissed him once and then snuggled him to her cheek while he could still feel the loveliness of her full shapely lips in his immediate memory.

"Goodbye little darling," she said, and put him into her mouth. She slid him off the top of her tongue, and he fell into her throat.

She was about to gulp, when the telephone rang. He waited while she got up and walked out into the hallway and picked up the telephone. She tried to speak, but could not do so with him in her throat. She suddenly gulped him down, and then took the call. It was one of her relatives.

“It’s alright,” she said, “Billy went to visit someone else without asking me first. She’s going to bring him home soon.”

It was true enough and would keep her family from worrying. They could never be told the truth, especially about the lengths she had just gone to in order to get Billy back safely.

She stopped the camera and took it into the forest with a plastic bag, to cover it inside the cage, in case of rain, and locked the camera in the cage. As Billy’s kidnapper had left no instructions about the key, she assumed that the woman had a spare key of her own.

Some time later, Billy suddenly found himself being drawn upwards as Betty’s tummy began to shake and heave. It was Betty Ross, not Betty Brant who actually now took Billy out of her mouth and drove him to within a block from his own home. She walked along the footpath, positioned Billy on his front lawn, and then took out the shrinking device (which she had been able to redesign in a more compact form since the days when it had shrunken Bruce Banner and Rick Jones). She fired the reverse setting at Billy, restored his size and told him to go into his mother. Betty Ross left, and Billy ran up and knocked on his front door, calling, “Mom! I’m home.”

Mrs Connors greeted Billy with great relief and then put him to bed. Then her telephone rang again. It was the woman who had kidnapped Billy.

“I just thought you would like to know that I don’t expect you to digest Harry Osborn after all. I put you through all that, because I wanted you to know the complicated feelings I had of knowing that your choice of marriage partners led to my loss of Norman. It could also have led to your loss of Billy or Harry, but it won’t. I have finished spying on your movements, and give you my permission to cough Harry Osborn up and free him. You still have plenty of time.”

Mrs Connors waited for the caller to hang up.

Mrs Connors heard the dial tone coming from the telephone, and then began to cough and heave, until she felt Harry Osborn ascending her throat and coming to rest on her tongue. She took him out of her mouth, and sat him on her shoulder.

Harry kissed her cheek.

She climbed into bed, rested Harry beside her neck, and said, "I'm all alone now, except for Billy."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want it to work out this way, believe me, even though I wasn't fully eaten after all."

"I do believe you. I was desperate. I had to eat you."

She looked after the tiny Harry for weeks. One day he kissed her lower lip, with his own lips, as she was waking up.

"Harry, I almost ate you. Do you really feel this way, even after that?"

"I can't stop feeling that way."
She kissed him back.

They were secretly in love for months.

Then one day, in the middle of the holidays, Mrs Connors said, “We don’t even know who that woman who shrank you was. I think you’ll always be that tiny.”

"She hasn't bothered to restore my size," he said, "Your love is the only thing that  made being tiny a pleasant experience."

"Don't worry about that. I have an idea," she said, “Now that I've given you the romance you were worried about missing out on, you won't be nearly so badly off as you were the day I thought I had to eat you. So you can give me a rare treat in return. Once I've taken Billy to his grandmother’s, I'll come back and eat you. I've never forgotten how delicious you tasted that night."

"But you don't need to eat me now."

"You said you'd miss out on things, if I ate you before. Well you've had those things now, and I don't want to miss out on the mouth watering tasty meal you'll make."

She licked her lips, excitingly, he had to admit, as he looked on at point blank range, and put him in the cage with some food, and a small cushion, and locked it.

He couldn’t believe it. After all that had gone on between them, he was still going to be eaten forever by the beautiful widow Mrs Connors who had become the great love of his life. He thought back to his brief crushes on Mary Jane Watson, Liz Allen and Gwen Stacy, all of whom had paled into insignificance once he’d been cuddled by Mrs Connors in that cemetery. They would be going on with their lives, oblivious to the fact that he was soon going to be a delicious meal for the woman who had forever won his heart.

None of this has happened in the universe with which we are more familiar. Being the Watcher, only I know that, in the other universe we have just visited, a shrunken Rick Jones was eaten by the Black Widow, a scheming Baron Karza was mistaken for a fly and telekinetically swallowed by Jean Grey, a divorced Janet Van Dyne joined the Micronauts and fell in love with Arcturus Rann, a temporarily shrunken Billy Connors explored the inside of Betty Ross’s mouth and stomach, and a permanently shrunken Harry Osborn sits in a cage in the lounge room of a beautiful house, waiting for a beautiful widow to return home and make for herself an extended pleasure of swallowing him whole.

Mrs Connors farewelled Billy and her mother, and got into the car and began driving back home. She thought about the possibility of eating Harry Osborn and coughing him up with time to spare after a night in her stomach, and doing it over and over again. She thought also about the possibility of digesting him forever and moving on to get remarried to a normal sized man she might meet in the future, and the fact that she had given Harry every indication that this was what she would do. What pleased her most was that she could even do the former for a long time, and then go on and do the latter.

Harry sat in the cage until he heard the car pulling up in the driveway. This was it. She would not make any more mistakes, such as leaving the kitchen window open, which had allowed for his brief escape last time. She would have her eyes on him every second of the time up until he made his journey into her mouth. He would have to make the most of his time on her tantalizing tongue and then slowly be absorbed into her tummy.

He heard her footsteps walking up the path, up the steps to the doorstep. He heard her turning the key in the lock, and saw her opening the door and stepping into the lounge room. Mrs Connors waved her hand sweetly at him and smiled happily. He watched as she turned her back on him and closed the door and locked it from the inside, and then turned to walk across the large lounge room towards him. Her high well rounded breasts thrust almost enthusiastically against her soft clinging cotton jumper, which perfectly matched her fairly long skirt. He looked right down to the movements of her shapely legs as she walked towards him.

“Since I’m going to eat you for pleasure, rather than out of necessity this time, I thought I might go through the enjoyment of preparing you in the kitchen and warming you up in the oven. I suppose that’s a roundabout way of telling you that I’m going to cook you, while also reassuring you that you’ll only get warm, not too hot to bear,” she said, as she took him from the cage.

“I suppose your tongue will feel even more moist and comfortable after that,” he said.

“It’s nice of you to say so, now that you don’t have any choice but to wait for me to gobble you up,” she said.

“When we first met, you said you were sorry that the Lizard had killed my father. Is there any chance that you subconsciously think that my father is responsible for your husband’s death too?” asked Harry nervously.

“Oh no, certainly not, darling. You needn’t ever think that,” said Mrs Connors and gave him a huge long friendly kiss.

“I guess I won’t have long to think about it anyway,” said Harry.

Mrs Connors laughed.

They talked pleasantly, reminiscing about the times they’d shared together, while she set him on the kitchen bench, selected a suitable baking dish and placed him gently into the dish, and then it and him into the oven. The whole time he looked into her face, right up until she closed the oven door and walked away, Harry could see that her mind was full of thoughts, probably of whom she might meet and marry, how she would enjoy seeing her son grow up, and the life that she would lead without him, after she had enjoyed her consumption of him.

In fact, her thoughts were largely on something else: Harry was much younger than her, madly in love with her and devoted to her, much smaller than her and completely at her mercy. She had the absolute power to decide which of these options she would take, and he would be stuck with her decision. As to what she eventually decided, only I know that, for I am the Watcher, and I must keep some secrets to myself.

Now you may remember that Matt Murdoch was never blinded in this universe, although he did develop the acrobatic ability and some heightened senses anyway, and never took on a super hero name. (See Tales to Boost Sales Annual #1, reprinted in Admonishing Adventures Queen-Size Special #1, for the full details… Except that I’m just kidding about those titles in order to make more puns).

One day he was in a legal case, representing a salesman of Spider-Man merchandise. The salesman wanted to sue the Daily Bugle for loss of business during a period in which the public believed one of owner/publisher J. Jonah Jameson’s slanderous criticisms of Spider-Man, before it was disproven and retracted.

Another lawyer, Jennifer Walters, represented the Bugle, and the judge found in favour of the plaintiff and awarded compensatory damages but no punitive damages.

Unaware that Jennifer was the cousin of the missing Hulk, Matt Murdoch invited Jennifer out to lunch after the case. Not one to be a sore loser, Jennifer accepted, and the two began dating.

After they had both earned some vacation time from their careers, they decided to travel on a holiday together. Matt and Jennifer went to the amazon jungles and came across a hidden cave with a glowing green orb. On the stand below it were inscribed the following words, which Matt read aloud while Jennifer picked up the orb and examined it:

This is the Great Gamma Orb,

The only known natural source

Of gamma radiation in the world.

Whosoever is the first female to

Make physical contact with this orb

Shall gain invulnerable physique and

Go forth into the world as a human giantess.

“Really,” continued Matt, “I wonder if it’s likely to come true.”

“If it is, we would be well advised to get out of this cave before it does,” said Jennifer as she put down the orb and began walking out with Matt behind her.

“It must have been put there by a man, or there’d already be a giantess around somewhere,” said Matt.

“I seem to be taller than you already,” said Jennifer, “My clothes are growing with gamma radiation too. Have you got your billy club?”

“Never leave home without it.”

“Then hit me hard.”

Matt knew a scientific phenomenon when he saw one, well enough not to question her at any rate. He struck her thigh as hard as he could. The club snapped into two pieces.

“No pain at all,” said Jennifer, and she grew and grew until she was towering above the tallest trees.

When she finally stopped growing, she looked down to see that Matt was level with her ankle (which is fairly familiar in a Timescrybe2 story, isn’t it?).

“It ain’t easy bein’ lean,” she said.

“Better than green I suppose,” said Matt, “You do look fantastic at that size.”

“I appreciate the compliment,” said Jennifer, “But you may not be able to enjoy the view for long.”

“Why’s that?”

“We are a long way from civilization, and even if we were there, it wouldn’t be easy for me to find a filling mouthful of meat (or Matt) unless I change my diet to focus on swallowing men whole. It’s a good thing for you that you’ll go down whole, isn’t it?”

“Jennifer, you don’t mean it … Do you?”

She began to stoop down.

Taking no chances, Matt bolted for freedom. With his billy club broken, he had no way to fire his own rope. He evaded her grip, which was a little easier with the way the jungle concealed him from her large clumsy hands, and quickly ascended two branches of a tree, grabbed a vine, and began swinging from one to another, while Jennifer set about pursuing him.

Jennifer’s huge tall legs ultimately gave her the greatest advantage.

“Why delay the inevitable?” she called down, “You know I’m going to catch you in the end. You could be down in my tummy being digested into all the helpful nutrients I need by now. I’m going to use my giant size to be a super hero most of the time and help anyone in need, except for tasty looking young men at times when I’m in need myself.”

Seeing an opportunity, Jennifer quickly squatted down and lunged at Matt, caught him between her fingers and thumb and sat comfortably down to smile at her prize.

“It doesn’t mean I like you any less,” she said, “I just have to be practical.”

“Which doesn’t help me much,” said Matt.

“You won’t have to worry about it for long,” said Jennifer, “Would you like a giant kiss before you go?”

“I guess it would be silly to miss it,” said Matt, and awaited the touch of her giant lips, “Thanks, Jen. That was nice.”

“My turn for a treat then,” she said, “Goodbye Matt.”

She opened wide, and slowly fed him into her mouth. He was surrounded by teeth the size of his head, and resting in the dipping center of a tongue that rose a little on both sides. He could see the sunlight reaching in to the back of her tongue, which shone and sparkled like nothing he’d ever seen before, including the orb that had caused all this.

He felt himself sliding towards the back of her tongue, until he was now over the part that had just caught his attention. He was now leaning over a little with his head and neck, and looking down into her throat. Only the top was visible by the illumination from the fact that she had left her mouth open. Deep down was darkness.

Jennifer seemed to be savoring the moment of her meal, progressing with each stage of eating him as slowly as she could. Rather than drawing him suddenly into her throat with a violent gulp, she moved her tongue infinitesimally once again, so that he found his arms, head, neck and shoulders now dangling into her throat, and still resting against the hidden vertical part of her tongue.

She waited like that for a little while, and then he felt more of himself slipping over the edge, so that only his legs were still resting on the top of her tongue. He soon overbalanced and slipped rapidly into her throat.

Chapter notes:             SPOILER WARNINGS: This chapter contains summary of Spider-Man 1990s cartoons episodes “Spider-Wars Part 1 & 2”.

He did not fall more than, what to Jennifer would have been two or three giant inches, before he felt himself surrounded by her throat. To help him along, she gave a gulp. It was incredible to feel the power of a surrounding wall of soft flesh heaving him down further into her throat, with what to her would have been a negligible effort.

A succession of enthusiastic gulps gradually dispatched him further downwards, until he knew it was all over.

“I suppose I should call myself Digestia, the She-Gulp,” thought Jennifer, and began her walk to civilization.

After she had been walking for hours and the Great Gamma Hunger was upon her again, she was fortunate enough to come across a walking party.

“Hello one and all,” she said, “As you can see I am very large, and my appetite is in keeping with my size. Would you like to choose one man from among you to help me out by being swallowed whole, and the rest of you can go on your way?”

They all stared reluctantly.

“It’s a hard decision to make, I know,” she said, kneeling down and reaching for one of the men, “But you look the tastiest and the most tender.”

She stood up and walked out of sight, carrying the man and then slipped him into her mouth.

Now this all happens in another universe, which is known only to me the Watcher and two other beings. Unlike me, they have no rules prohibiting their involvement in the events of others. Madam Web and the Beyonder in fact once introduced Spider-Man to his counterparts from parallel realities and even introduced him to Stan Lee, in a universe where Spider-Man and other Marvel Super Heroes are merely fictional comic book characters. In fact, it is in Stan Lee’s universe that the fan fiction writing efforts of Timescrybe2 and Carycomic have been somewhat causal in the events we have seen unfolding so far. They have literally wished a whole universe into being.

Madam Web and the Beyonder were studying the developments in the universe during which this tale takes place.

“See how Carycomic’s deleted subplot has allowed the evil Micronaut Baron to take his Kami-Karza dive into Jean Grey’s mouth and stomach with the intention of deliberately unleashing the being known as Dark Phoenix,” said the Beyonder.

“And my concern is with the way Timescrybe2’s subplot has created a composite counterpart of Galactus and the She-Hulk who is at least more of a menace than the unrestrained Bruce Banner Hulks ever were,” said Madam Web.

“I think we must take the same steps we took in convincing the Peter Parkers to help us defeat Spider-Carnage,” said the Beyonder, “I’ll transport Carycomic into his own storyline, so that he can experience it first hand. We’ll see how he writes about it afterwards in subsequent chapters. You’d better do the same with Timescrybe2.”

Madam Web and the Beyonder split up, as Carycomic and Timescrybe2 lived in different countries on opposite ends of their earth. The Beyonder took Carycomic into the universe where his plot was unfolding and explained the reason for his involvement.

“Oh well, it’s not as if I haven’t been through similar things courtesy of Gregory West and a cosmic treadmill combined with a storybook projector in Timescrybe2’s other stories,” said Carycomic (“The Twilight Zone: The Timescrybe2 Zone” and “Challenge of the Superfriends: Fast Track to Earth-Prime” respectively; this not being an actual inclusion of DC characters in THIS story), as he prepared to face another journey into the unusual.

Elsewhere Timescrybe2 was plucked from his own reality by Madam Web and deposited at a position just at the edge of the very jungle from which Digestia the Saveage She-Gulp was soon to emerge.

“Whatever happens to you in this reality is merely to give you experiences to help you to think through the effects of what you are writing,” said Madam Web, “At their conclusion, you will be teleported back to your own reality and the very desk where you’ve been typing up your story. Hopefully it will make you think.”

“And dissuade me from writing about Digestia’s, Black Widow’s and Mrs Connors’ ongoing vore urges?” thought Timescrybe2, “It may not even have dissuaded Carycomic, and he always said that vore was ‘an acquired taste.’ Not that I’d tip Madam Web off about this, but she’s just given me the chance to live out the best part of my own yarn.”

Madam Web vanished away on her mysterious mobility chair (pun intended) and Timescrybe2 waited until he saw the beautiful giantess Jennifer Walters stepping from the jungle.

“Hello little man,” said Jennifer.

“My name’s Timescrybe2, and I was wondering if you would like to eat me, Jennifer,” said Timescrybe2.

“As a matter of fact I would,” said Digestia.

“This is really going to get to those lurkers who think I go down this path too often,” thought Timescrybe2, “But I wouldn’t miss this opportunity for all the herbal tea in china cups.”

Timescrybe2 thrilled to the realization of his greatest fantasy, as Jennifer lifted him up and dangled him over her open mouth, and slowly lowered him in. He felt her tongue against his cheek, and then she suddenly pulled him out again.

“Is anything wrong?” he asked.

“How did you know my name? I haven’t even told you I’m called Digestia, let alone that my real name is Jennifer.”

“I can’t claim responsibility for the Jennifer part, although it is my favourite girls name,” said Timescrybe2, “But it was my idea to call you Digestia. I’m from a universe where I thought up everything that’s happened to you as a form of fiction.”

“Can you really convince me of that?”

“I know you ate Matt Murdoch after you first got your indestructible giant form, and that you then gave a group of people the choice to select one of their men for you to eat. When they were reluctant, you made your own choice and swallowed human meal number 2.”

“It’s amazing,” said Jennifer, “And ironic, that I’m now the size of the puppeteer, after being the puppet of your creative urges.”

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all. I’m grateful for this new life you’ve dreamed up for me. To think this is all happening because you want to be eaten.”

“You should see what Oishi writes,” said Timescrybe2.

“Who’s Oishi?”

“It wouldn’t make much sense to you here,” said Timescrybe2, “But I’m ready to be eaten if you’re still hungry.”

“I certainly am. Thanks again for writing your way onto my menu.”

“Bon appetite, Jennifer.”

Jennifer’s soft yet invulnerable giant fingers delivered Timescrybe2 into her mouth, for a repeat of the detailed experience that he had written for Matt Murdoch, and he made his way down into her stomach. Suddenly he found himself back at his desk. Even the moisture that he had collected while touching her tongue had remained in her own universe within her.

True to his word, Timescrybe2 set his thoughts to preparing the next portion of this tale, which I shall continue to narrate.

A super-villain named Kreel, who had acquired the ability to take on the physical properties of whatever substance his hand made contact with, decided to attack the army base where General Ross, Betty Ross and Glen Talbot were stationed. By touching tanks he gained the form of metal, and was able to shake off mortar, bullets and everything else that was thrown at him, until he drew near to the living quarters, where he planned to steal components that had been earmarked for Hank Pym’s use in recent times.

Betty Ross headed straight for the lab, having guessed that it would contain the only things on the base worth all Kreel’s attention. She waited for him to come in and then fired her shrink ray at him. Although Kreel was touching the floor and absorbing its properties, he was now only four inches tall. Betty had no trouble seizing him and dropping him into a bowl of marshmallows she had been planning to eat for dessert. Kreel had no way to avoid absorbing the properties of the candy, and instantly turned into a man of marshmallow himself. Betty quickly snatched him from the bowl, bit him in half, head first, chewed him up and swallowed him in two mouthfuls.

She never told her father or Major Talbot what she had done, just that the Kreel was no longer around.

Now as you recall, when we last left Mrs Connors with another person who had been shrunken, courtesy of Betty Ross’s use of the shrink ray, she was preparing Harry Osborn to eat him for pleasure, as there was no continuance of Betty’s initial demand of bluff that Mrs Osborn eat Harry in order to spare her son Billy from being eaten by Betty.

Mrs Connors soon sat herself down at the dinner table, with her shapely well dressed upper torso towering in front of the tiny lad. He looked up and wondered if flattery would help at all.

“Everything about you looks lovelier than ever from this angle,” said Harry, “Your round soft cheeks, your full lips, your bobbing hair, your white neck, and your …. Nice figure.”

“You always were polite,” said Mrs Connors, still thinking secretly to herself about whether or not she would provide Harry with any eleventh hour reprieve once she had gulped him down to her stomach. Would she cough him up or leave him there? In either case she had nothing to lose. The risk was all Harry’s.

“Tell me what you think of my fingers then,” she said, and slowly brought her hand towards Harry.

Harry stood on the plate and watched her hand opening. It did look very pleasant, he noticed, and then saw and felt her hand closing around his tiny body. Mrs Connors lifted him up towards her mouth.

“It’s nice being held like this actually,” said Harry, “I think I always liked it.”

“Now tell me what you think about my tongue,” said Mrs Connors.

With that, she slowly put out her relatively enormous tongue and slid it over his shoulders, neck and face.

“I like that too, actually,” said Harry, knowing that he would not be able to give her an account of what he thought of her stomach, once he was out of earshot within it.

Again and again, Mrs Connors slowly licked Harry.

“I really think you taste wonderful, young man,” she said, while still no closer to deciding whether or not merely tasting him would be enough to suit her plans for her future.

Jennifer Walters (alias Digestia the Savage She-Gulp) had soon caught the attention of the Avengers, who understandably weren’t too happy about the fact that she was practicing a rather selective form of population reduction … simply by eating anyone she happened to come across while she was feeling hungry.

“If only we could appeal to her better nature and discourage her from doing it,” said Captain America.

“I don’t think she’d be willing to listen, if you could even make yourself heard above the significantly loud rumblings of her hungry tummy,” said the Scarlet Watcher.

Wendy, the Scarlet Watcher, was in fact the daughter of (not myself) but a Watcher from the alternate universe in which this story is set, and a woman who met her on the moon after deliberately exposing herself and three poodles to cosmic rays. That woman, named the Red Gust, acquired the ability to turn into an intangible burst of wind. After deliberately initiating the successful exposure to cosmic rays, she had landed her ship on the moon and met the alternate Watcher, and fallen in love with him. Her real name was Irena Krackov, and she was in fact the only child of that universe’s counterparts of the Red Ghost’s parents.

So beautiful was Irena, that she had persuaded that Watcher to involve himself with her, in a fairly marital sort of way, and their child Wendy grew up to be known as the Scarlet Watcher. She had some of her father’s incredible scientific knowledge and used it to give herself advanced technology, which could be concealed in a costume and simulate super powers.

This alternate roll call of the Avengers did not have Thor either, as the Don Blake of this universe had never found a hammer. In this universe, Odin and his people did not exist. This Doctor Don Blake was not a surgeon, not a general practitioner, but was in fact a psychiatrist. Thor’s place in these Avengers was filled by former member Ant-Man’s robotic creation Ultron, who had been designed with morality failsafe protocols built in, so that this Ultron never rebelled against its master, and was now programmed to serve the Avengers loyally.

So it was that Ultron made a suggestion to the team.

“Suggestion: Scarlet Watcher and Iron Man combine their technological expertise to build a device capable of sending a loud deafening recurring message directly into the giant sized brain of Digestia. It will use human emotive criticisms of Digestia’s diet, to, as you humans would say, weaken her resolve for eating regular sized people.”

Tony Stark and Wendy worked hard on the device, and set it to a unique frequency which would be audible only to the brain’s aural reception of Jennifer Walters. Nobody else would even hear what was being said. Tony suited up with his Iron Man armor and flew the device into range of Jennifer Walters, who had finally reached New York City.

He set the ranger finder firmly on the She-Gulp, and sent a recurring tirade of messages into the mind of Jennifer Walters:

“Do you suffer from gigantic eating disorder? Seek professional help now! Are other people only on your thoughts at meal times? If you can’t shrink yourself, see an expert shrink!”

Jennifer tried cupping her hands to her ears, but the message was being sent directly into her mind.

“What are you doing? How are you doing this?” she called to Iron Man.

“I hold in my hands the ultimate invention, made possible by the daughter of someone who himself is forbidden from intervention,” said Iron Man, “Unless you at least reconsider a steady diet of human beings and seek out psychiatric help, you will face a continual onslaught from this device, which I have named the Ultimate Vilifier.”

“Alright. I’ll see a shrink! Turn it off!” called Jennifer.

At that point, she was calling out so loudly, that Iron Man could see right into her wide open mouth and imagine the sight that had greeted everyone who had disappeared beyond the back of the visible part of her tongue.

Iron Man turned off the Ultimate Vilifier, and Jennifer strode out of the city and lay down as best as she could fit in a large park which this universe seemed to have included in that particular part of the United States, specifically for the purpose of accommodating her.

The next day, she walked carefully up a street and tapped her finger gently on the high rise office of Dr Don Blake, psychiatrist. Dr Blake opened the window to speak to her.

“You’re the only one I knew of, having referred a disturbed legal client of mine to your office in the old days,” said Jennifer, “I’m Jennifer Walters, these days known as the She-Gulp.”

“Oh yes, Waste-Not Pete, the man who was so neurotically obsessed with using up every last drop of glue in a tube, that he often put the leftovers to criminal uses,” said Don, “I somehow don’t think you’ll fit on my couch. So I suggest we look for a more suitable venue. I’ll grab my notebook and meet you in the street.”

Jennifer carried the doctor to the park on which she had slept the night before, and then sat down to begin her first gulp therapy session with Dr Blake.

“To begin with, I’ll ask you where were you born?” asked Dr Blake.

“Right here in New York,” said Jennifer, “What about yourself?”

“In Alaska,” said Dr Blake, who did come from there in this universe.

“Nice place,” said Jennifer.

“So did you have any problems with your mother, that might have led you to this habit of eating people?” asked Dr Blake.

“Why do they always ask about the mothers?” said Jennifer, “Mom’s a vegetarian. Actually, I think what led me to it was finding myself suddenly grown to giant size, feeling hungry, and enjoying the taste of the guy I was with at the time I grew.”

“Sure, sure,” said Dr Blake, “But can you express your inner self about this matter?”

With that, Jennifer’s tummy rumbled loudly.

“I think that my inner self just did some expressing of its own,” said Jennifer, “Iron Man stopped my dining plans yesterday with the Ultimate Vilifier, and now I seem to be more hungry than ever.”

“And what does your heart tell you to do about these feelings?” asked Don.

“I don’t know if it tells me to do anything,” said Jennifer, as her huge tongue swished sideways about her lips in the most eye-catching way, “But my tummy tells me to eat something, and my eyes tell me that you could make a far more practical contribution than merely analyzing me.”

Dr Blake knew exactly where this was going.

“I’m not sure how to proceed next,” he said, “You certainly do present with a very interesting case.”

“I think I know how to proceed,” said Jennifer, as her hand reached for Dr Blake, and her finger swiftly knocked his notebook out of his hand.

She closed her fingers around him inescapably and lifted him up in front of her mouth.

“Miss Walters, this isn’t what Iron Man had in mind,” said Don Blake.

With that, Jennifer used her free hand to tear off Dr Blake’s shirt, and screw it up into a tight wad. She stuffed it into her ear. Then she pulled off his shoes and socks, dropped them and tore off his trousers and rolled them up into another tight wad. She stuffed that into her other ear. At that point, Dr Blake was staring at his patient / captor while wearing nothing more than his underpants.

“I can still hear you, Doctor, but these make-do gamma blockers should keep the Ultimate Vilifier from sending such a devastating message to my brain, at least until I’m well out of the city and able to look for more delicious little people somewhere else. The Avengers may have used my tummy troubles to drum up business for you, but they’ve also used you to provide a nice Blaked Alaska meal for me. So there!”

Jennifer put out her tongue at him, left it protruding triumphantly in all its moist magnificence for several seconds, and then withdrew it back into her mouth. Don had just seen a glimpse of his impending imminent retirement from psychiatry.

“What, no more advice, Doctor?” she asked, as she dangled him over her huge mouth, and he looked in at the movements of her gigantic tongue, “Are you feeling a bit tongue tried?”

“Miss Walters, my profession doesn’t prohibit me from pointing out that you are a very beautiful woman… a woman capable of so much, a woman with so much potential.”

“Why thank you, Doctor. You’re such a sweet one!” said Jennifer, both flattered and amused, as she kissed him for good measure, “You have quite a bit of potential yourself, as you’re about to see it realized. The sun’s done a good old fashioned job of Donny-cook on you already.”

“Maybe if you just got in touch with your inner self…” began Don.

“I’ll leave that to you,” said Jennifer, and slid him into her mouth, and slowly off the back of her tongue, and down into her inner self.

For the first time since becoming a giant, Jennifer, wasting no time at all, ran (rather than walking) out of the park and on a long journey, which involved swimming across oceans which were not so large to her, or even walking through them, walking across land, and doing whatever else  was necessary to evade civilization, until she came to a place which took her by surprise. It was a huge mountain citadel with the most uniquely structured buildings, populated exclusively by beautiful giant women, one of which was its elegant radiant red haired queen.

“Welcome to the Giant Refuge,” said the queen, “Although you are from the world outside, you are welcome to make your home here, where you will find enough synthesized food to meet all your needs. This is the Giant Refuge.”

Jennifer wondered whether synthesized food would satisfy her taste buds as well as her current diet, but she did not think it prudent to mention that to Queen Medusa. She made use of Medusa’s offer, and settled into the Giant Refuge comfortably with the other giant women.

Elsewhere, Harry Osborn was still wondering what Mrs Connors’ final decision would be. She had delayed eating him, deciding to romance him at least a little longer while making up her mind how things would eventually work out for him. He had spent time in a cage, and time resting against her lovely cheek, and was now looking at her face as she once again sat at a dinner table. He would see her beautiful face beaming up at him for a few seconds, as she held him in her cupped palm above her face, and then see her shapely tongue come out of her mouth and lick him with excitement several times, and then look at her beaming face again.

The feel of her tongue was his life’s most incredible experience, and the constant waiting and wondering what it would ultimately do to him was the most suspenseful experience of his life.

At the end of 1991, Gordon had just completed a university degree, and yet he had no idea at all what he wanted to do with it, or himself. In his years at university, he had spent his spare moments on weekends and semester holidays reading books about gentleman adventurers which were written in the 1930s through to the 1970s. It wasn’t just the stories which entertained him, but the fact that they were set decades in the past. Everything seemed to look better back then, in the movies and television serieses which brought some of those books to life on the screen. The designs of cars, the architecture of houses, the fashions people wore, the less developed scenery of the past all seemed to have so much more appeal than life in the present. Before he’d started university, in fact before he had started his final year of high school, he had been reading super hero comic books ever since he was 8 years old.

In school year 9, he had begun reading a satirical super hero comic which used animal characters set in a world of talking animals. It was called Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew. The series came to an end after only 20 issues, but the company promised an upcoming mini-series called The Oz Wonderland War, which would involve Captain Carrot’s Zoo Crew participating in an all-star adventure combining characters from “Alice in Wonderland” and “The Wizard of Oz”.

Gordon never found the mini-series in Australian shops during high school, and had to stop his comic book reading altogether at some poing in year 11, to concentrate on his studies. He didn’t resume it until his second year at university. By then he had found that the supply of comic books to local newsagents was limited, and had discovered much larger specific Comic Book stores in the city. He also learned that the Oz-Wonderland War mini-series had not come out when originally advertised, but had been pushed back two years, and went to print during his first year of university. So he read it in the holidays between second and third years and enjoyed the super hero satire once more. By then he had started attending martial arts classes, as he figured it was the closest he could get to becoming a gentleman adventurer or a super hero. At least he’d be able to do more in a skirmish, if one should occur.

A few weeks after finishing his final year of university, he decided to read the whole Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew 20 issue run through again, followed by the mini-series. This time the story had a different effect on him. He began to pay much more attention to the characters from Oz and Wonderland, and found that their storylines pointed to a happier time of the past, but not only the past. They also pointed to places that were considered realms of fantasy even in the 19th to early 20th century periods in which the original novels were written. No longer committed to heavy study schedules and the pressure to pass exams, he took note of the mini-series’s text pages references to the fact that L Frank Baum had written 13 sequels to “The Wizard of Oz”, along with other stories that tied in with the series. After his death, other authors had taken up the mantle of turning out more Oz stories and introducing many more characters, some of which had made their way into the Oz-Wonderland War mini-series of comic books.

Gordon set out to seek out as many Oz novels as he could from the second hand stores all over the district and beyond. Keen to escape any signs of the present while reading them, he went to the most northern suburb of his district, Wahroonga, and sat on the rocks at Cliff Reserve, looked out on the vast expanse of bushland that seemed to stretch on forever before his eyes, and sat down to read. He made his way through one or two Oz books each time he went there. There were 2 of Baum’s novels he couldn’t find or order in any shop, and he didn’t find any of the Oz novels written by subsequent authors in the 1920s onwards. So it seemed that he was mentally pulled back to the unappealing reality of 1992 Australia.

One day he was walking through a convenient alleyway between shops, when he saw two men attacking a woman. One knocked her to the ground, and the other pulled a jewelled necklace from around her neck and then stood up. They both had their backs to Gordon, until they turned to walk away with their ill gotten gems.

Gordon knew that this was the first and most important opportunity to make use of 18 months’ martial arts training. He kicked the first man solidly in the hip, which he knew would make walking and fighting extremely problematic, as all martial arts techiques depend heavily on hip movements. The man buckled, while his partner in crime stepped in to swing his fist towards Gordon’s head. Gordon did an upper block to parry the blow, and then launched a double knife hand strike to the man’s collarbone. It jarred him severely, but didn’t knock him over. Gordon hit him hard in the forehead with his fist, and he fell backwards, colliding with his injured partner. Gordon launched one more kick at the nearest man’s stomach, causing them both to fall over. He retrieved the stolen jewelled necklace, and walked over to the fallen woman. She was magnificently beautiful, and wore a long and elegant dress quite unlike anything he was used to seeing in 1991. Then he noticed that a wig had fallen from her head in the struggle. He wondered why a woman with lovely long straight natural hair needed a wig which seemed to have been custom made to look exactly the same as her real hair. She saw him holding the wig and reached for it, struggling to speak. There were marks on her throat, and Gordon guessed that her assailants had attempted to strangle her in order to make stealing the necklace easier. She began whispering between gasps for breath, and he leaned down over her face and strained his ears to make out what she was saying.

“Scarecrow in Oz… Scarecrow only in Oz…in Oz,” was all he could discern from her soft toneless voice.

He helped her up, put her necklace back on and motioned to put the wig on her head.

“I can’t think why you need this, but I guess it’s important to you,” he said.

She took the wig from his hand and held it by her side.

This time she was able to speak a little louder, and make proper use of her vocal cords.

“I don’t see any point in wearing it now either,” she said, “But I offer you my gratitude for retrieving it, and my necklace. I sold the rest of my jewellery: my arm bracelets and my crown, when I came here nearly 20 years ago, so that I could buy a new home in your … district. My name is Elma.”

“Crown?” said Gordon, “I’m Gordon, and you were saying something about Oz, which is particularly interesting to me, because I’ve recently been discovering and reading the Oz novels by L Frank Baum.”

“I found a few myself,” said Elma, “I’m surprised that Ozma allowed communication between Emerald City residents and L Frank Baum with the wireless telegraph all those years. When she cut off the outside world’s access to Oz, even its awareness of the existence of Oz, there were very few ways left that one could get in or out of the kingdom. A few people like Jenny Jump and others have found their way in and out over the years, but it’s not nearly so common now, not like the days when the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman and the Cowardly Lion all turned up in America in the 1900s.” (See John R Neill’s 1940s Oz novels for Jenny Jump’s adventures, and see L Frank Baum’s and W Denslow’s newspaper comic strip “Queer Visitors from the Marvelous Land of Oz” in the 1900s for the Scarecrow’s, Lion’s and Woodman’s adventures in America.)

Gordon recalled that Baum had introduced some of his later Oz books by writing from Ozcot, California, about the communication and access matters which Elma had just mentioned.

“I thought that Baum’s supposed communcation with Ozma and the others was all just part of the fiction,” said Gordon, “Are you trying to tell me that Oz really exists?”

“Of course it does, although you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to tell, since I arrived here. People don’t age much in Oz,” said Elma, “Some stop ageing in their teens. Others reach early adulthood and stop aging then. I stopped when I was just a little princess. I’d already been given my own castle to make use of when I pleased, but I wanted to see more than just the Oz I’d grown up with. When I was 14, I found a dark dark cave, which nobody else had explored. I took a lantern in there and walked until I came out in a bushland. I walked for some time until I came out in a place that I later learned is called Wahroonga.”

“That bush, or at least the rock that look out onto it, is where I read my Oz books!” said Gordon, “To think that I used to sit up there and look out at that bush after reading a book, and wish that Oz was real, yet feeling that the pseudo country atmosphere of the bush views was the closest I’d get to the past or the apparently non-existent Marvelous Land of Oz. Little did I know that a logn walk in that bush would have brought me to the cave that you used.”

“I’ve been calculating the passing of time in both kingdoms, since I learned that people age here,” said Elma, “I had a bit of an adventure back in my own town in 1926, when I was a little princess of sorts. I aged to 14 by 1928 and then stopped ageing. I remained a 14 year old for decades.”

(Princess Elma was introduced in the 1926 novel “The Hungry Tiger of Oz” by Ruth Plumly Thompson.)

“So you must have been born in what we know as 1914,” said Gordon, “When did you come here?”

“In 1978. I was 14 when I arrived, and it took some doing to find someone willing to take a teenager seriously enough to pay her a small fortune for expensive jewellery. Then I had to find an adult friend to help me do the transaction to purchase a house here. I didn’t know about people ageing when I arrived. Now it seems that I am 28. I was planning to return to Oz, before I age much more. If it weren’t for you, I might not have survived to make the trip.”

“I was 10 in 1978. You were born 54 years before I was, and yet here you are at 28 after living in Oz for 64 years and then here for 14 more.”

“So you’re 24 now.”

“Going on 24 in a few months.”

“If you came back to Oz with me, you’d be 23 forever.”

“I’ve always wished I could go to Oz. I guess Dorothy got there around 1900 or 1901 or so, and hasn’t aged since. Even her Uncle Henry and Aunt Em have preserved their middle age forever, as well as Trot and Cap’n Bill and others.”

(Trot and Cap’n Bill appeared in their own L Frank Baum novels “The Sea Fairies” and “Sky Island”, before coming to Oz to live as residents of the kingdom in a subsequent Oz book.)

“I’d like to take you back with me, as long as you’re comfortable with leaving this land behind.”

“Nothing would make me happier,” said Gordon, “I don’t fit in here at all. I’m an oddball, an inachronism born too late in time for his own comfort. The only books I read are the ones written in times long ago. Going to Oz would be like stepping into one of those books and becoming one of the characters, or even better still.”

“The least I can do is show you the way, after you saved me. You’ll find that there’s more than enough living space for you in the many rooms of my castle too,” said Elma.

Gordon remembered something that he had been meaning to ask earlier in the conversation, before he’d been sidetracked.

“You said you sold a crown. Were …. Are you royalty in Oz?”

“Yes, I told you I was a princess, remember? I will be again.”

“So you did. I was so excited to learn that Oz was real, that I wasn’t fully taking in everything you’ve been saying.”

“It’s too late for us to leave today,” said Elma, “But you could come over for dinner, so that we could talk some more.”

He accepted her invitation to go to her house in Wahroonga. She had bought one of the older properties in 1978 and kept the house in its original condition, while other nearby houses had gone on to be demolished, and newer houses built on the sites. After they had eaten and talked for a while, she showed him her record collection. He noticed that the music of decades past had appealed to her more than 1980s and 1990s pop music, just as it had come to appeal more to him.

“If I put a record on, would you like to dance with me?” asked Elma.

“We both seem to like the same periods of music. It will be a pleasure,” said Gordon.

They slow danced for well over an hour, and then Elma arranged to meet Gordon at the Cliff Reserve rocks the following morning.

He went home to bed and took over an hour to fall asleep, as he thought of the excitement which awaited him the next day. Oz was real and he had met a beautiful princess who was going to take him there.

The next morning, after a hearty breakfast, he put fresh batteries into his penlight torch and slipped it into his pocket. The long cave (which somehow separated the bush beyond Wahroonga from the Land of Oz) would now be at least as easy to navigate as it had been for Elma with her lantern 14 years earlier.

He walked through the park at the end of Cliff Avenue, made his way along the short bush track and came to the rocks.

“I brought a torch to make it easy to see in the cave,” she said, and then opened her small carrybag, to put it back in. He saw that her wig was also in the bag, and began thinking about it again. Perhaps she had been worried about her hair going grey if she stayed on earth for many years longer, and had had the wig made up while she was still young. That still didn’t explain why she needed it in Oz. Perhaps it was a keepsake to remember her time on earth, one of the few things in her Wahroonga house which were light and small enough to carry with her on the long walk back to Oz.

“Great minds think alike,” he said, removing his own torch temporarily from his pocket, “This is where I used to sit and read the Oz books. I saw the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie in 1976, and an animated sequel called “Journey Back to Oz” in 1979, and then thought nothing more of Oz until a few months ago.

“ ‘Journey Back to Oz’is out on video cassette now,” said Elma, “It’s not very accurate. Tip doesn’t appear in the cartoon movie, and is replaced by Dorothy, who actually didn’t return to Oz until after Ozma became Princess of Oz. The Singing Signpost was a nice addition to the characters, but the Merry Go Round horse was a poor substitute for Tip’s Sawhorse. The artwork and voice casting and music would have made Dorothy and the others proud though.”

“So how do we get there?”

“We go back a bit along the track up here, then follow the side path down into the bush for a long way. Then we have to go off between the trees at the point where I first came to the path in 1978. Nobody from this district would think to do that. So they would never have discovered the cave, but I came from that cave in the first place when I left Oz. I hope I can find the correct spot after 14 years.”

On their first attempt, they went too far, and had to slowly back track until Elma recognised the correct position. Then they made their way through the trees until they came to the cave. They turned on their torches and walked for quite some time through the long dark cave, until they finally saw light at the end. Within minutes, Gordon was stepping out into Oz in wonder.

“It’s even better than John R Neill’s illustrations could ever have made it look, as fabulous an artist as he certainly was!” said Gordon.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“We have to pass through the Emerald City on the way to my town,” said Elma, “You’ll be able to meet the Scarecrow and the others in person.”

Gordon recalled the whisperings of her temporarily injured throat from when he’d first found her the day before: “Scarecrow in Oz …. Only in Oz.”

He figured that she must have been thinking of her plan to return there, still concentrating her thoughts on that longing, even during the trauma of being attacked and robbed.

“I’m looking forward that,” said Gordon.

They came to a lunch pail tree, and picked their pails and sat down to eat. With such assortments of food growing ready packed in Oz, it made takeaway meals that much easier than looking for the nearest fish and chips shop or fast food outlet.

“So what made you stay in Wahroonga in Australia for 14 years?” asked Gordon.

“I suppose it was because things changed very little in Oz. I’d seen everything here just the way it was for 64 years, and something was missing.”

“It’s ironic, but I longed for Oz to be real, partly because it was like a fantasy land to me, but also partly because I felt that things had changed too much in Australia, all around the world in fact, from what I’d seen in movies and television shows.”

“I began to sense that too, to feel that way a year or so ago. Things were still nice in your land when I arrived in 1978, but they were changing rapidly after that. I finally began to feel as you did, that there had been too much change, and none of it for the better. The whole atmosphere of your country had become visually unattractive and culturally unpleasant… compared to Oz at least.”

When they had eaten their fill, they made their way to the Emerald City, where they were greeted by General Jinjur, leader of the all girl army, and Jellia Jamb, a pleasant young girl. Jinjur and Jellia showed them into Ozma’s presence, where the princess invited them to stay for dinner and offered them rooms for the night. Princess Elma told Ozma in great detail of her long stay in Australia, and of the cave which had been her means of walking there.

“I’m surprised to learn of yet another way that people can still come into Oz from the outside world,” said Ozma.

“Nobody would ever discover it on the Australian side of the cave,” said Elma, “The little travelled pathway I took doesn’t go anywhere near the cave.”

“I suppose there’s no harm in leaving the cave open at our end,” said Ozma, “Although I couldn’t make use of it like you did for 14 years. Your parents are still ruling in your town, but I have a responsibility to oversee all of Oz.”

Eureka the pink kitten ran into the room and darted under the table.

“I remember reading about that cat,” said Gordon, “L Frank Baum told of your third trip to Oz, Dorothy, in his fourth book ‘Dorothy & the Wizard in Oz’. Wasn’t Eureka on trial for eating one of the Wizard’s nine tiny piglets? She let the trial proceed, with tension mounting for everyone in the courtroom. Then she surprised everybody with the revelation that she had chased the piglet into a bottle and was then unable to eat him.”

“She wasn’t very popular after that, for quite some time,” said Dorothy, “Having tried her best to despatch the tiny piglet into her system, she made other animals feel either fearful or offended by her behaviour. Since then the Hungry Tiger has taught her his techiques for controlling and restraining the urges to consume living creatures, and she’s making good progress in gaining social acceptance in the kingdom. Eating someone else is all very well for the one doing the eating, but it can be an entirely different prospect for the one being eaten. Eureka has taken a while to appreciate the complexities of this matter.”

The two princesses spent some time nostalgically comparing their early lives. Ozma had been enchanted into the form of Mombi’s servant Tip for years since her birth, only to discover that she was the rightful ruler of Oz. Elma had no ruling responsibilities, and would be unlikely to, given that her parents had stopped ageing and could manage the kingdom forever.

“Your mother came to me very worried about your disappearance,” said Ozma, “It was soon after you left Oz. I used my all-seeing picture to show her that you were doing well in the Wahroonga of the outside world, and she went back to reassure your father that you had found a form of happiness that was working well for you.”

Gordon made friends with a boy known as Lucky Bucky, and was surprised to learn that he had come to Oz back in the mid 1940s. (See ‘Lucky Bucky in Oz’ by John R Neill.) Gordon told Bucky how much the outside world had changed in the nearly 5 decades since Bucky’s departure.

“The way you tell it, I’m glad I stayed here,” said Bucky.

“To me the 1940s are a bit of a fantasy of its own. Do you ever miss the America of that era?” asked Gordon.

“A little bit, but not as much as I’d miss Oz if I went back to the good old U.S. of A,” said Bucky, “When I got here, Jenny Jump had made a name for herself. The Mimics were soon to be met by some of the Emerald City regulars, and other great and marvelous things were due to happen here.”

“Be glad you stayed,” said Gordon, “I know I will.”

After considerably more conversation, the residents of the Emerald City and their visitors all turned into bed for the night.

The next morning, Gordon and Elma bade farewell to Ozma, Dorothy, and a few others, and then began the morning walk to Elma’s home town. When they reached the outskirts of the woods leading into the town, Gordon marvelled at the tall tall trees, while Elma lay down to rest. Gordon wandered a few meters out of sight of her, still feeling no less amazed by the beauty of the old fashioned looking fantasy of the Oz scenery than when he’d first arrived at the Oz end of the long cave.

While Gordon was still taking in the sights, a gigantic woman stepped into view. She was so tall that he had to tilt his head back in order to make out her facial features more clearly. She had a beauty and an elegance about her, just as Elma did, albeit without the sweet feminine look in Elma’s eyes. This woman had more of a proud haughty beauty, but dressed in a similar long elegant fashion to Elma’s. She stooped down and enclosed Gordon in her fingers. He estimated that he was no taller than one of her fingers which now surrounded him, holding him gently. There was no risk of him slipping out of her hand and falling to the ground.

The giantess drew him right up to her face.

He remembered reading of the giantess Mrs Yoop, who had teased the native Oz boy Woot the Wanderer along with the Tin Woodman and the Scarecrow, by changing their forms. (See L Frank Baum’s novel “The Tin Woodman of Oz.”) Ozma had restored the natural forms of the three travellers, but only at the cost of exhanging Woot’s green monkey form for Mrs Yoop’s form, after Ozma had turned Mrs Yoop into a duplicate of Woot the Wanderer. Thus Woot got his original form back, and Mrs Yoop was stuck with the appearance of the green monkey which she had previously forced on Woot purely for her own amusement. Had Mrs Yoop now found some way to restore her form to normal? The book had stated that not even Mrs Yoop could reverse one of her own transformations, and the green monkey form had been so powerful an alteration that even Ozma could not reverse it, only exchange it for another.

“Are you Mrs Yoop?” asked Gordon.

“Not a bit,” said the giantess, “Wasn’t she that Yookoohoo who ran afoul of Ozma such a long time ago?”

“That’s right, at least as far as I’ve read,” said Gordon, “I hope you’re not thinking of transforming me into something else like she did to Woot the Wanderer and the others.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” said the giantess, “My name is Marva. I’m not a Yookoohoo. I couldn’t turn you into something else even if I wanted to, and why in Oz would I? You look so good to eat just as you are. I’m going to take you home and gobble you all up.”

“Are you serious?” he asked.

“Of course I am,” said Marva, “You’ve nothing to worry about. Nobody ever gets hurt in Oz, and my tummy would simply love to have you there. I’ll just pop you into my mouth now and carry you that way, so that I can look forward to my lunch even more. You’ll make a fabulous treat, I’m sure. You’ll have plenty of time to think about it first, while you’re in there. I’m not going to swallow you until I get home and take you out and serve you properly at the table and then set about formally eating you.”

To his complete bewilderment, Marva opened her mouth wide in front of him and placed him inside it. She closed her mouth, leaving him in complete darkness and began walking.

Gordon wondered why, in all his conversations with Elma, she had never even mentioned that a giantess lived in her home town, let alone the fact that the woman looked upon their citizens as tasty delicacies to be used as meals for her personal enjoyment. He thought of her detailed announcement about when she would proceed to swallow him. Then he remembered his penlight torch and took it out of his pocket. He turned it on and lit up her surrounding mouth. Her teeth were all around him, except for the back of her mouth. He held onto one of her lower teeth, using the gaps between them to position his free hand, while he leaned his head a little over the back of her mouth and shone the torch down into her throat. In some ways the cavern below reminded him of the cave that had brought him to Oz. This was a vertical cavern which would take him on quite a different journey. It seemed wide enough to swallow him easily, and slippery enough, that he would slide down inside her throat, the moment that she exerted enough force to gulp him down. As the giantess appeared to have her heart set on the idea, and certainly possessed the size advantage to carry it out, he decided that there was nothing for him to do but make the best of it. He had seen many of the wonders of Oz, which would not have been possible if he had stayed safe in Australia. He wouldn’t have missed those experiences for anything. He would just have to look up the giantess Marva as one of the less conventional wonders of Oz.

After some time, her mouth opened, and he switched off his torch and put it back in his pocket. He saw Marva’s finger and thumb approaching her mouth, as they moved closer and then reached in and plucked him out. He looked around and could see that he was in an immense kitchen, in front of an open oven.

Marva placed him on a baking dish which was already in the oven.

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave you in there for too long. It’s just to warm you up a bit. I’ll be back to eat you for my lunch in a little while,” she said, and closed the oven door.

He looked out of the oven window, as Marva walked out of the room. Just like that she was preparing to have him for her lunch. Marva had left the room using a doorway at the side of the room. Only seconds later, he saw the back door of the kitchen open, and into the room stepped Princess Elma, except that now she was absolutely gigantic, just like Marva!

Elma walked briskly over to the oven and opened it. She took him out and ran out of the kitchen into Marva’s garden, and then into the gigantic forest.

“No wonder the trees were so tall,” said Gordon.

“I heard what she said about eating you and followed her here,” said Elma, “I’m glad she decided to cook you first, or I might not have been able to rescue you in time. You saved me in the alley back in Australia, and I was worried that I might not be able to save you in return.”

“But how did you become a giant?” asked Gordon.

“I AM a giant,” said Elma, “Everyone in Big Wig Town is a giant, but only while we’re wearing our wigs. They grow and make us grow with them. That’s what I was trying to tell you when you saved me, but my throat was very sore.”

“You were saying ‘Scarecrow in Oz … only in Oz’,” said Gordon, “I thought you were talking about wanting to get back to Oz as it was the only place to see the Scarecrow.”

“I was saying ‘hair grow in Oz … only in Oz’,” said Elma, “When those two brutes first attacked me, I put my wig on for the first time in 14 years in Australia. I wanted to grow to giant size, so that they couldn’t menace me anymore. However, the wig did nothing for me. In that second, I realised that the wig only works in Oz. That’s why I was trying to tell you that I needed my wig much more than my jewels. Although you were good enough to recover  them both for me.”

(The Big Wigs were also introduced in the 1926 novel ‘The Hungry Tiger of Oz’ by Ruth Plumly Thompson.)

“My goodness!” said Gordon, “If you’d also thought I looked good enough to eat …”

“I’m sure you would be,” said Elma, “But it’s not polite to eat one’s friends, as the Hungry Tiger has been teaching Eureka the kitten, just like we were talking about in the Emerald City last night. Besides, you once saved me, and …. I invited you to come to Oz with me, because I love you.”

She pressed her giant lips to his face affectionately.

“If you like me too, I can take my wig off and give you a regular kiss as well,” she added.

“I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you after taking on those men in the alley,”  said Gordon, “Now I see what you meant about their being an abundance of living space for me in the spare rooms of your castle. You meant that I’d have more than enough space in any one single room.”

“I do hope you’ll stay here with me,” said Elma, “You’ll have to look out for Marva, as I imagine she’ll always dream of recapturing you and one day eating you, but I’d hate to see you leave.”

“I couldn’t picture myself walking away from your company,” said Gordon, “I’ll take my chances with Marva. At least, if she does manage to gobble me down one day, I’ll have had such a wonderful time with you first.”

Now it all made sense. The identical wig was used not for visual appearance’s sake, but to alter her size to that of a giantess. He would be living with a giant princess in a giant town, but she could become his size and explore all of Oz with him whenever she felt like it.

Elma took off her wig.

Gordon watched in awe as she shrank to his size, with the wig shrinking at the same rate just as long as it was no longer resting on her head. Then he took her in his arms and gave her the regular kiss that she had mentioned. 1992 onwards in Oz would be as good as 1900 to 1978 in Oz.

“I know for sure that I’ve found the place I’d like to stay in,” said Gordon.

“And I know something for sure too,” said Elma, “When I first left Oz, I felt that something had always been missing, despite the spleandour of all the four countries in Oz, and the Emerald City at the centre. There had never been anyone special for me to share it with. And there wasn’t anyone special in Australia either, until you grew up so that I could meet you. A year ago, I despaired of meeting such a person, until I saw you looking down at me after you’d fought off those men.”

“I was feeling that way, about walking in scenic parks without a girlfriend to hold hands with,” said Gordon, “Perhaps we could take short trips back to Australia, just for a few days every now and then, not long enough to age noticably, but just long enough to spend a bit of time in the place we’ve both been for at least 14 years, but this time being there together.”

Elma liked the idea, and the two were now the only people in Oz who knew about their occasional secret trips to Australia, and the only people in Australia who knew that they spent most of their time in Oz.

*          *          *          *

Thirty years later….

Gordon still had the appearance of a 23 year old, and Elma still had the appearance of a 28 year old, when they made another of their brief visits to Australia. For the last 15 years or so, they had been careful not to be seen by anyone who had known them in 1992, because their lack of visual ageing would have looked highly suspicous to say the least. Now three decades after their first meeting in the alley, they noticed that the outside world had become even significantly worse than it had been in 1992.

“It really wouldn’t worry me at all, if Ozma closed off that cave now, while we were on the Oz side of it, of course,” said Gordon.

“Nor me,” said Elma, “I haven’t enjoyed our last two visits here much, and this time I think I might have seen enough of Australia altogether.”

“So it looks like neither of us wants to come back,” said Gordon.

They made their way back to the bush track, and were approaching the point where they needed to leave the path for the cave, when they saw a very large stocky man walking towards them with a mean disposition.

The man stopped in front of them, just as they reached the divergence point.

“I don’t know how much plastic surgery you two must have had to preserve your faces like that, but you’re the runt who kicked me and the gal whose jewels could have set me up for life.”

“You’re one of the men who tried to rob me in 1992,” said Elma.

“You got it in one, Missy. Only these days I’m a prize fighter, and your skinny boyfriend here has got some payback coming, before I start on you.”

The man was much more solidly built than Gordon, whose martial arts skills had well and truly atrophied after three decades of forgetting his training in the relative peace of Oz. His martial arts had been of no benefit at all in preventing Marva from eating him, and he had found no use to keep practicing in the thirty years that had followed. The concept didn’t exist in Oz, which meant that there was no dojo anywhere in the kingdom for him to attend, even if he had wished to continue his training. The only advantage he could  think of was to use their slim builds to outrun the robber turned prize fighter.

Grabbing Elma’s wrist, he said, “Run for the cave,” and started running with her beside him.

They could hear the prize fighter starting to pant behind them.

“He won’t have a torch,” whispered Gordon, “We can try to lose him when we get to the cave.”

“If he doesn’t catch us first,” said Elma.

“He won’t.”

They reached the cave a few meters ahead of their pursuer and ran inside, switching on their penlight torches. They kept running, but they could still hear the prize fighter running behind them.

“He got here in  time to follow us by the light of our own torches,” said Gordon, “If he catches us, not only are we in for it, but he’s the last person Ozma would ever want us to let loose in Oz.”

“Don’t worry. Just stay ahead of him,” said Elma.

Soon they saw the light at the Oz end of the cave and ran out.

Elma put on her wig and grew to gigantic size, just as the prize fighter emerged. She picked him up and began squeezing.

“I believe you thought you had some level of size advantage, when you referred to my beloved as a runt,” said Elma.

“I …. What on earth is this?” panted the prize fighter, whose more stocky build had caused him to tire more easily than the two he had been chasing.

“This place barely qualifies as being on earth, and you’ll never see it again,” said Elma, placing the prizefighter back just inside the entrance to the cave, “Throw him your torch, Gordon. I think we already agreed that we won’t be needing it again, nor the cave entrance.”

Gordon tossed his torch to the prize fighter.

“You can find your way back to the Wahroonga bush with that,” said Elma.

She picked up an enormous boulder and pushed it into the cave entrance, sealing it off completely. No normal sized person from Wahroonga could ever move it from the other side. It would be so solid that it would be taken for a dead end in the cave. Anyone else who walked along the cave tunnel in the future would simply turn around and return, unaware that a doorway to Oz had once been just beyond it.

“You have a good heart, Elma,” said Gordon, as she took off her wig and shrank back to normal size, “After what he once did to your throat, and with the knowledge of what he tried to do to us today, most people I knew back on earth wouldn’t have asked me to give him a torch. He would have had to find his way back in the dark.”

“Ozma has always led by example, showing mercy to former enemies and helping them whenever possible,” said Elma, “It seems that this princess should do no less.”

“Which means your friends and aforementioned ‘beloved’ are even better off, when you’re around,” said Gordon.

They held hands and began their final walk back to Big Wig Town together.