A blue plain, stretching out for as far as the eye could decipher. Mottled, blurry, yellow, brown, bright, blinding, everything, it all looked so incomprehensible. The only part of it that you could understand was the ground you awoke on.

Groggy, groaning, you sit up. The floor is a deep dark blue. Hard. Bumpy. As though the ocean itself had been locked in stasis. And a shadowy, massive, impossibly flat overhang stood proud and alien above you. It looked like nothing natural you had ever seen.

“Heeey!”

That voice. Familiar. Where have you heard it before…?

Looking left and right, you trudge, trying as hard as you might to stand up. Your legs shake, like jelly, and you trip, barely using your hands to break your fall until –

A hand reaches for you.

You recognize it. It’s… a classmate.

Yes, that’s right. Looking up, you stare dead in the eyes of a classmate. Friend? Friend might be… a bit liberal, but so far as you were aware, you hadn’t yet offended the sensibilities of this individual.

Taking the assistance graciously, you thank your minor savior.

“Where…” You hazard a question. Your stomach aches. “Where are we?”

Your newly-minted “friend” can only afford a lackadaisical shrug. As you survey the landscape, you only see nothing but the rolling hills of this blue, smudgy hellscape. Dotted by the occassional… splotch. A far-off dash of an earthy color, brown, tan, dark red… shades that had no earthly business in this unearthly dimension. Shades that moved?

Other people?

Your savior saw you as you raised your hand and pointed at them, trembling fingers. And they nodded, saying in a whisper, “We… we need to go help them!” before the pair of you began limping, then jogging, running. It was like trying to navigate a football field, but somehow even longer. You never were the most athletic, but even now, it seemed practically impossible to make it even close to the nearest sign of life. It was impossible to even tell definitively they were humans until, like a miracle, the nearest specks spotted you, and began to wave.

Your heart thumped, and despite the fear and confusion, a happiness began to fill it. Just the sign of life, civilization. There would be time to figure things out – where you were, why you were here – there would be time for that later. But now, all that mattered was…

Click. Metal.

Creak. Metal.

SLAM! Wood.

Your sprint ceased, and as you paused, so too did your companion as the pair of you looked out beyond the hills and valleys, into the blurry, unfocused horizon. You could feel the sounds that had just reverberated all the way into the depths of your bones, chattering your teeth. Then –

“Where’d everybody go?”

Your blood froze in its veins, and your head creaked to stare wordlessly at your companion as the pieces began to come together within both your fear-stricken minds. Of the truth of where you all were.

The lights. The chair. The overhang… and that voice.

It was a familiar voice, really. A voice you weren’t exactly fond of, but in this context, was absolutely terrifying. Because if it was true, and real, then this was no Bizarro dimension at all.

This was merely the impossibly mundane room that housed your university class. And you and everyone else were, for some reason, reduced to barely the size of a grain of sand on the seat of one of the desks.

And that voice… for whatever reason, she wasn’t.

Each footstep that she took was an unneeded reminder of just how much consequence your life was in this new world. Every time she walked, the titanic nature of this giant creature was made more and more clear. And as she approached, at such an excruciating speed of around one meter per second, she came more and more into focus. Her sharp Asian features began to protrude out from the mist of distance, looking less like a curious student, and more like a discerning deity, or a fierce giant scrutinizing her domain.

She stopped in the middle of the room, roughly halfway between the door and the chair upon which you were perched. A chill went down your spine, and you looked around in every direction for any hope of recourse. Your friend grabbed your shoulder, asking, “What’s wrong?”

You didn’t want to say. You didn’t want to give life to the impossibly unfortunate possibility that awaited everyone you shared this platform with, should the prediction be correct. Simply shaking your head, you pointed at her, and waited.

The mountainous girl shrugged, and you could’ve sworn to feel the shift in air as a result of the mundane action. Then, she took another step.

Face clearly in focus, you could see her gaze.

She was aiming for you.

You shook your head, heart pounding. No… no, no, no! Whatever this nightmare must’ve been, it couldn’t last forever. This made no sense… you all were people, not… even “bugs” wasn’t an apt comparison. There was no bug you were familiar with that was of a comparable size to yours right now. “Dust” would’ve been a more appropriate term.

As she approached, the winds got more and more ferocious. Indiscernible breezes to the normal-sized, gale-force storms to those here on the chair. Already, it was becoming hard to stand, leaning into the force of the gusts, and you struggled to hold on. Grabbing hold of your companion’s hand, the pair of you braced against it.

Closer.

Brace.

Closer.

Out in the distance, those closer to the edge of the chair were already being windblown over the edge. Maybe into her bag. Maybe swept up into her nostrils. Maybe onto the continental floor that was itself only a meager fraction of the size of this school itself. Or, maybe even, back onto another section of the chair seat, in a fit of the universe’s cruel, beloved irony.

She was next to the seat. Here and now, you could recognize her properly. The pair of you never liked one another, but even now, all you wanted was to just scream up, beg, plead, try something, anything, anything potentially feasible, imaginable, to get your classmate’s attention. Your companion let go of your hand and tried to do just that – running over in her direction at the side of the seat, screaming, barely keeping steady on the vast plains of the chair. But something wasn’t right.

Something wasn’t right.

You tried to reach your hand out, preparing a scream for your friend to stop. But the sound of the mountainous girl’s bag CRASHIIIING to the floor sent you to the ground. But the reverberation sent your friend up, into the air.

Covering your head as though it were a tornado drill, you peaked furtively from behind your flimsy self-made shield.

Your friend was gone.

A shadow had fallen.

Fear possessed you. A fear that could only be defeated by curiosity.

Above you, the pale, alien false sky had been replaced by yet another. One full of life, blood, scents and the organic rigors of the Earth’s creatures. Like two conjoined meteors, descending down from the heavens, the massive, stellar buttocks of your classmate was preparing to sit down. Her legs were perfectly encased in a pair of tight-fitting elastic pants. The darkness was enveloping you, and even now, to the very end, you looked every which way as the inevitable slam reared its monumental head, preparing to pound you into nothingness. But there was no escape. No recourse. Her meaty thighs were jiggling with every inch in your direction, as though she were truly a mountain given flesh. The pants hid nothing, and just barely, you thought you could see upwards, into the indentation formed as they dug into her crotch. Worse still, smell was beginning to surround you. A musty smell, and you coughed, rolling on the ground. Oxygen was being depleted, and you sprawled out as the dusty, aromatic, acrid scent of this classmate’s rear end was caressing you, offering you a final, gentle goodbye. Her derriere was going to be the last thing you would ever see. You hadn’t the energy to even spare a thought to the rest of your classmates, who were surely going through a similar experience on the plains of the end.

No. No thought to them.

Your last thought, as you looked up, was of grim irony. In another world, you thought it might’ve been funny.

Before the last vestiges of darkness entrapped you for the end of your time, you couldn’t help but notice that she was, in fact, wearing her most customary space pants. The designs were hard to make out from afar, but from this distance, it was impossible to mistake. That such a creature, such a mundane creature, would be about to end your life at scales that were just a hair’s breadth from being described as celestial, or cosmic…

while wearing pants themselves styled after the fashions of the infinite abyss of the cosmos…

Across the plains, bodies popped and exploded, one after one after one. Her jiggling ass fat was more thorough than the smoothest rolling pin, ensuring that even through tight-fitting leggings, everyone could feel absolutely everything her rear end had to offer. Until it finally came to met you. The sky was falling, and with it came the entire olfactory essence this girl’s rear had conjured over more than two decades’ time of concocting her own unique bodily scent.

She sat down.

The chair creaked slightly as she got comfortable, somewhat shifting before finally relaxing in the hard-backed plastic seat. She rapped her fingers across the desk, bored before opening her legs to scratch a minor itch on her inner thigh.

The clock ticked with monotonous reliability as the minutes ticked by.

Resting one leg on top of another, she had long since pulled out her phone and was browsing through TikTok when a stray glance at the time led her to say, “I guess… class is canceled?”

Standing to height, she slung her bag over her shoulder once again as she pushed the chair in, only getting a whiff of the potent musk she had accrued over the years of ownership of this garment, now inextricably linked. And yet as she walked away, hoping to study for her next class, she just couldn’t help but wonder if her mind was playing tricks on her, or if that scent had truly been intermingled with the faintest hint of the acrid fragrance of freshly-spilled blood.