In the hills of Ireland, Colleen woke up and yawned widely at her bedside table mirror, looking into her own mouth with a certain fascination at what might be placed inside it at a later date. She ate her breakfast, put on a white dress with one inch eliptical blue patterns on it, and walked through a field and into a small meadow which looked out at the countryside below.
She got down on her hands and knees and began crawling through the meadow, looking around as she did so.
“Have you lost something?” asked a voice.
Colleen looked up into a handsome face with friendly sensitive eyes.
“Well I wouldn’t say that I’ve exactly lost something, but I am trying to find something,” she replied, “I’m Colleen, and pleased to meet you.”
“I’m Stanley. So what are you looking for?”
“A leprechaun,” said Colleen.
“I suppose that’s one way to find a pot of gold,” said Stanley, “Would you like me to help?”
“That’s very kind of you,” said Colleen, as he crouched down to join her, “It’s not that I’m after any gold. I only want to catch a leprechaun and swallow him.”
“Do you mean…well…that you want to eat one?” asked Stanley.
“That’s right. I’d be very gentle about it, and be sure to gulp him down intact and unharmed by my teeth. It wouldn’t have to be a leprechaun. It could be a pixie, a fairy, a goblin, or any kind of the little folk. If any of the legends are true, then a leprechaun would be the most likely one I could find and catch in this country.”
“Well what can I do to help?”
“If you stay here, and I’ll crawl around and search through this flower patch from the far side, then if either of us chases one, he can be herded towards the other for certain capture.”
“I’m not sure how the leprechaun would feel about it, but I’ll give you all the help I can,” said Stanley.
“I’m grateful. The trouble is that they may not exist at all, and if they do, they’ll never make it easy for me to spot them and snatch one up.”
They attempted this gambit in several parts of the meadow for the rest of the morning, and then Colleen said that it was time to go home and make the most of her usual lunch options.
“Would you like to go to a restaurant in the village down there this evening?” he asked.
“That would be nice,” said Colleen, “I live in the house up there. You could come for me with a lantern at six, if it’s suitable for you.”
“I’ll see you then,” he said.
Colleen went home, opened a tin of ham, and took something out of the utensils drawer in the kitchen. It was a metal frame which she used for making gingerbread men. In this case, she also applied it in another way. Pressing it down on the ham, she fashioned a tiny pork man, and then took it to the table, picked it up and put it into her mouth. She savoured the taste, imagining for as long as she could, that it was a leprechaun, and then devoured it, before moving on to some salad. When the meal was over, she spent the afternoon reading from a book of adult fairytales focussed on little folk, and found nothing that fully catered for her own quest.