Hi Mum:

I'm so sorry we couldn't make it last week – had unannounced guests from Sweden: Breta's mother and sister. Their visit was brief and pleasant, but it understandably influenced our plans to come and see you. However nothing's going to stop us doing that over the next weekend, so be warned and stay cool, remember my last letter, okay?

See you in a few days!

Can't wait,

Rob.

The preparations weren't long: all they needed for a short brake in his hometown was basic things like toiletries, a couple of shirts each, plus a cocktail dress and a suit – just in case. Robin knew that those in cases could happen at any time with his parents – they were quite spontaneous in throwing garden parties upon a very short notice, sometimes simply to celebrate his arrival.

They had an hour to spare before leaving for Paddington, where their train departed from. Breta asked Robin to double-check the essentials, and went to the bathroom. He opened the suitcase: everything was where it should have been: footwear on the bottom, then the jacket and the dress, scarves and shirts, toothbrushes, etcetera, etcetera. He zipped the case shut, turned around, and saw Breta's trousers hanging on the chair backrest. He knocked on the bathroom door and shouted to be heard through the noise of the running water:

“Are your black trousers to be packed?”

“No,” she shouted back, “I'll wear them now.”

He returned to the room, and sat on the sofa. Again, his eyes met the trousers. He stood up, grabbed them, lowered the sleeves to the point where they touched the floor, and lifted his arm holding up the upper edge. As they straightened up, he turned to the mirror. He saw himself standing next to the black stripe of fabric stretching all the way from the floor up to his nose – this is where the beltline was. The crotch was at the level of his chest.

He thought a little, and lifted them a couple of inches higher – Breta would not wear them barefoot. He gazed at the mirror again. Now, in addition to himself and the piece of cloth, he saw two legs of a matching length. Further up – his white bathrobe.

He turned around.

“I didn't hear you coming,” he said, ashamed.

“I can see that,” Breta smiled down at him. “What are you doing here? Borrowing my trousers for a banquet? I think, you better drink and eat as much as you can beforehand.”

“Drink and eat?”

“Well, you risk staying sober and hungry otherwise. You won't be able to put anything into your mouth, it'll be covered by the fabric.” She laughed, kneeled, and hugged him. “Honestly, my little pervert, they seem a little big for you, but I wouldn't mind borrowing them to you.”

She was so close, so fresh after the shower, her hair smelled lavender, and honey, and something equally seducing, and her eyes were so playful and inviting – he just couldn't stand it anymore. He ripped the robe open, pulled her closer and found her lips with his own. She was a touch taller than him now, he only needed to rise on his toes.

“May I at least have my toys on?” protested Breta. “I'm going to miss them so much!”

“Are you sure we have enough time?” Robin, too, would love to have her wear the Jellys.

“Trains to Bristol depart every hour, darling. And, while I’m busy, could you please go to the kitchen and make us the afterlove tea?”

In no time she came into the kitchen herself.

“I've got an idea, honey,” she said, standing by the doorway. “Sex on the fridge.”

“Sex in the fridge?”

“On the fridge, silly! Look, I'm leaning on it, and you're taking me from behind.”

And she immediately demonstrated what was in her mind. His wardrobe was always much too short for her – now, however, as she was bending down, with her elbows on top of the seven-foot-high refrigerator, it looked like a top on her body.

“Very good,” he scratched his head looking up at the peach of her round bum. “How am I supposed to get up there?”

“Not my problem, sweetie. I took my step, you take yours. And don't be too long, we're going to miss the train!”

“All right then, it won’t take a second,” and he stormed out – to the cupboard, where the ladder had been gathering dust ever since the flat renovation was over.