I wake up in a dim room. What’s this annoying sound? I turn back to the direction that the relentless tic-tac is coming from. It takes me a couple of seconds to remember why the clock next to me is so big. Wait a minute, where is Ash?
I’d better take a look around. I use my elbow as support and get up a little to get a better view of the room. It’s hard to see anything in the dark, but I manage to distinguish the first rays of sunlight coming through the curtain. A huge body moves to my right. Oh, there she is!
I think I can see better now. I’m on the nightstand next to Ashley’s bed. She’s created a makeshift bed for me with a towel and some thick kitchen tissues. I look at her, lying a foot away from me. She turns in her sleep every now and then. I think she’s having a dream. Oh well, I’d better go back to sleep. My body’s still sore….
Okay, I don’t think I can fall asleep. I’ve spent the last 23 minutes and 40 seconds staring at the ceiling. It’s very easy to keep time when a giant clock the size of Big Ben is just a couple of inches away from your face. I thought the tic-tac would help me go to sleep, you know, like counting sheep or something. But it’s only given me a headache. I guess Ashley failed to notice how annoying it’d be, or else she wouldn’t have put me here on the nightstand. Could it be that she wanted to keep me close?
Anyway, the sun is almost up and I can see the room clearly. It’s pretty much the same as yesterday, except for the stack of biscuits and the bowl with ‘onion soup’ print on the dresser across the gap. You remember the one that ends into Ash’s trash bin? That’s the one.
I sit up to look around more easily. Ash’s face is towards the wall and out of my sight. All I can see is the tangles of Ash’s black hair, spread across her pillow. I know it sounds creepy, but her hair has a special aroma… I remember how I enjoyed kissing her on the head. Mostly because of that aroma, and also because she was so short that I had to bend down to reach her face. LOL.
I look back, and now I’m face to face with the photo of Ash and her sister, Amanda. She’s taller than Ash, at least 6 inches I’d say, and has auburn hair. Her eyes are dark brown, unlike Ash’s. I think Ashley said she looked more like their deceased father, rather than their hippie mom. Oh yeah, get this: her mom has been living with a tribe or something in India for a couple of years now. They probably smoke pot all day, and fantasize about that fat dude Buddha all night. Or was it Ashley who looked like the dad, and Amanda looked like the mom? Damn it. I don’t really remember.
I only met Amanda a couple of times, but we never really connected. Mostly because she was being a bossy bitch all the time. I mean, she’s only 24 but she always acts like we’re a bunch of dumb kids that need her majesty’s impeccable supervision. Ugh. I remember her joking what Ash had seen in me! Can you believe that? ME!! She must’ve been jealous. I don’t remember her being in any relationships. I must admit though, she’s pretty hot.
I stare at the sisters’ faces and jugs for a couple of seconds…. Nah, I think I scored the right sister!
Well, nothing to do here. I’d better jump off to Ash’s bed. I approach the edge, the drop looks rather high…. Hmm… screw it. The mattress should cushion my fall. Here we go…
Okay, it wasn’t as high as I thought now that I’m on the bed, looking up towards the edge. But my back hurts a little. I stand up and walk towards Ash’s left hand. Her face is still towards the wall, but her hair and her left hand are on my side. I look at her hand. It used to be so small and tender. Her nails are painted black, her favorite. Her fingers are clenched loosely, as if she’s about to make a fist. I take a step closer, she still smells of peaches.
I’m standing right next to her loose fist now. Her finger joints come as high as my waist. Her hand smells of peaches, and her… her distinctive smell… you know, when you spend a lot of time close to a person you love, you somehow notice their distinct smell? I hope you don’t think I’m creepy for noticing smells so well!
I bend down and kiss her bent index finger. Her skin feels soft on my lips. Her spell is on me again. I kneel and kiss her bent fingers one by one…
Okay, now I’m sitting right next to her hand. My back still hurts a little, but I feel much better today. It’s… yeah, it’s 6:20 am. Today is a Friday? I guess so. Hmm, it seems like ages since yesterday morning, when I got out of bed a tall, handsome dude. Now I’m only handsome. Damn!
There’s really nothing to do in Ash’s room… Well, except for her, heh. But I doubt I can do much at this size. I can now either wait for Ash to wake up, or wake her up. I don’t think she’d notice me like this. No, I should get close to her ears, or her face. In order to get to her face, I’ll have to climb over her. Well, I’d better get sta… wow, hold on a minute. I just noticed the dark purple carpet in the middle of the room, and now the memories of my first encounter with Ash at this size are coming to me…. Screw that! I’m not in the mood of flying today!
Hmm… I could sleep a little longer. The clock is not as loud as it was now that I’m on the bed. I can still smell Ash’s lotion, and the warmth of her hand is soothing… I look at her loose fingers again. I don’t see why not?
Ash will get up in an hour or two anyway, and I never let the possibility of pain stop me from doing what I want. Yeah, now would be a bad time to be a sissy Sam. I’ll never get the chance to do any of the stuff I can do now once I’m normal again! Besides, what can a chick do to me?
I try to block out the voice in my head that’s trying to remind me of what happened the last time I said that to myself. I stand up and face Ash’s loose fist. Okay, how should I do this? Hmm…
I think I figured it out, it’s very much like a sleeping bag. I’m going to hold her index finger up with my both hands. Umhh, it is heavier than I thought! Like its resisting me. I put my right leg inside her fist, and lower myself so I get on my left knee. I use my left hand to support my upper body, while squeezing my right leg into her loose fist as well… umph… damn it, her finger seems heavier now… okay, I managed to quickly pull my hands inside…. Oh… boy! It’s so cozy here!
I’m surrounded by her soft, fragrant palm and fingers. I wiggle farther inside, and my entire body is now in her fist. Wow, the feeling is amazing! Her fingers are on my naked body. They’re applying some pressure on me, but it’s not that hard. It’s more like being in a tight sleeping bag like I said. But man, it’s nothing like that now that I think about it! I’m all cozied up in her warm, soft hand. I trun over in her fist, and then I put my face on her warm wrinkled palm. The familiar fragrance fills my nostrils…and it feels so good to feel her skin on my naked body…. I close my eyes. My other senses are sharper now that my eyes are closed. The warmth, the scent, the constant, reassuring pressure, the moisture… I think I’m drifting into sleep again…
I wake up at the movement and the cold. I can still feel Ash’s soft palm beneath me. I impulsively plant a kiss on her palm. Suddenly, I hear a feminine voice giggle. I flip over, just to see Ash’s smiling face above me.
“Well, hello there sleepy head!” She says cheerfully. I sit up on her hand.
“Good morning Ash.” I reply, looking up. She’s sitting on her bed now. Her hand is still on the bed, and her stretched naked arm goes all the way up to her shoulder from where I’m sitting. She’s still looking at me curiously, but I think there’s now more kindness in her eyes, than sheer curiosity.
“I felt a bit cold, so I decided to sleep with you… uh, I mean on your bed… in your hand… I hope you don’t mind…” why am I being so awkward? It still feels strange, talking to Ash after so long I guess…
“No silly, it was so cute!” She replies cheerfully. “But you’re lucky I noticed you in my hand as soon as I woke up, Sam. I don’t even want to think what would happen if I squeezed you in my sleep!”
Great, the petite girl I used to lift with my left arm is now afraid she might squeeze me in her hand. What cruel destiny is this?
“Haha, yeah that wouldn’t be good I guess…” I reply, still looking up. Her hair is such a mess! Oh, I think she noticed it too!
“Oh my God! I must look like a zombie right now! Let me wash my face and get ready!” she says. Her cheeks are slightly red now. You look beautiful even now, dummy! But I won’t tell her that…
She quickly approaches the door and opens it to exit the room. She closes the door shut behind her. Is…is she afraid I might wander outside? No, she always closes the door shut. It’s her habit… I hope…
The doorknob soon turns, and Ashley appears. She’s holding a cup in one hand, and a plate in the other. She approaches me with a smile.
“Sam, I brought you breakfast.” Sweet!
“What have we got?” I ask her a bit too eagerly. She giggles.
“Milk and peanut butter sandwich.” She replies, putting the plate and the cup on her dresser.
“ASH, YOU KNOW I HATE PEANUT BUTTER!” I shout at her. What the hell? I’m starving and all she could bring for me is peanut butter?
“Relax, you fatty! I’m joking.” she replies, taking a step towards the bed and me on it. She bends down to reach for me. I’m gonna stand still, despite my instinct, so she can grab me with ease. Ok, I’m now in her fist, surrounded by her warm flesh once again this morning. She holds me in front of her face at eye level. I can see her white teeth, and I smell mint on her breath, must be the toothpaste.
“Fatty?” I ask, trying to mimic a puzzled voice. “Ash, I must be like 50 grams now!”
“Remember the family size bucket?” she asks, grinning.
I try to keep a straight face, but I lose it as soon as I glance at her eyes. We both laugh at the memory.
“I doubt I can eat a whole chicken bucket now!” I tell her, kissing her index finger while still in her fist. Her smile widens, and she strokes my cheek with her thumb. It… pleases me more than I like. She begins to walk towards the dresser. She’s nothing like the Ashley after the breakup. I’ve been waiting for her to come back to me for an entire year, but she didn’t even talk to me. Now she acts like we’re back in a relationship, could it be that my Ash is really back?
She puts me on the dresser, next to the cup and the plate. I walk towards the sandwich to make sure it’s not peanut butter. I notice that Ash has sit in front of the dresser, and is now looking at herself in the mirror. The smell of the sandwich makes my stomach grumble, is it strawberry jam?
Yep, it is indeed strawberry jam, and not peanut butter. I owe you one Ash. I look at her head, several feet above where I am. She’s putting on mascara or whatever.
I shift my gaze from her face to her boobs, entrapped in her grey top. Wow, how did I fail to notice them tits this morning? Oh shit, my already half erect penis working its way into a full erection.
I quickly turn my back on her in an attempt to hide my fully erect penis. I’m looking down at little Sam now, he’s all up. Damn it, why didn’t I take a piece of the tissue to cover myself?
I notice movement in front of me, and look up. I see the reflection of Ash’s huge grin in the mirror. She has bent down on the dresser, and her grin is right behind me. Her breath washes over my back, and I feel I’m getting goose bumps. I resist the urge to turn around towards her. Instead I lock my hands in front of my crotch.
“Whatchya got there Sam?” she asks. Her moist, minty breath washes over my naked body once more. I begin to shiver slightly at the feeling.
“Umm… nothing! It’s just… cold here…”
The reflection of her face gets bigger. She’s getting closer to me. She’s now completely bent down on the dresser, and the tip of her nose must be mere millimeters away from my bare back. I stare at her blue eyes in the mirror, and she’s staring back. Holy shit, why is she being so creepy?
“Why don’t you lower your hands from your crotch so we can see this ‘nothing’, Sam?” she whispers in my ear in the most foreboding tone I’ve ever heard. Oh God, I knew it was too good to be true! Shit, what should I do? What should I… what is she doing?
I see her opening her mouth in the mirror, she’s sticking her tongue out now and… WHAT THE FUCK?
Her wet tongue touches me in the waist, and she licks my back all the way up to my head! I feel shocked at the sudden cold, and impulsively run a couple of meters towards the mirror and away from her. I turn back, just to see her face’s about to explode.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA.” She laughs hysterically, hitting the top of the dresser, on the other side of the plate, with her closed fist. Each hit sends the cup and the plate up in the air, and they hit the wooden surface with small bangs after each hit. I’m still too shocked to think straight, I just stare at her laughing and gasping for air in turns. She hits her fist on the dresser again. The stack of biscuits collapse, and she finally stops.
“Oh…Oh my God, Sam…” she says, gasping for air. Her eyes are full of tears. “I swear… your face… priceless…” she chuckles a couple of more times, and then fixes her eyes on my crotch. I look down at my now uncovered crotch, it is still erect.
I think she’s about to laugh again, but she somehow manages to control herself. “Relax, Sam. I can hardly see it anyways.” What the fuck?
“It’s not funny Ashley.” I tell her with a straight face. “Can we get back to the breakfast now?”
I can see that she’s disappointed in my reaction, maybe even embarrassed. She looks at me some more, then pulls the plate towards her. She’s now tearing a corner of the jelly sandwich off. She puts the sticky piece in front of me on the wooden surface without uttering a word, and proceeds to eat the rest. She didn’t even look at me while doing all this.
I grab the upper piece of toast and pick it up with both hands. There’s jelly sticking under it, and I take a bite. I can’t bite two pieces of toast on each other, they’re too thick for me. I have to take several bites just to eat this small piece, and even this looks very thick to me. This shrinking thing really sucks.
I look at Ash discreetly, so she won’t notice. She’s eating her sandwich in silence while looking at her nail polish bottles on the dresser. I doubt she’s really looking at them though, she must be thinking about the past, like me. I take another bite at the sweet bread and remember the last weeks of our relationship.
Guess you could say that our ‘honeymoon’ ended about a month through our relationship. Eventually, the occasional sulking became a normal thing. It was mostly Ash’s fault though. I mean, I treated her the best I could. I always bought her pretty things, always took her out to the hippest places…. Hell, half the school was jealous of her because of all the things I got her. Also, I am good looking, I’m fit, I’m funny, I never betrayed her, what else does she want from a guy?
Our arguments mostly began like this one, with me doing something that pissed her off, or her saying something that pissed me off. Then we would stop talking with each other for some time, just like now. I never thought it was that big a deal though, until she broke up with me.
Eventually it seemed that no matter what I did, Ashley expected and preferred the exact opposite. I tried hard to keep her happy, but I never really managed to do that. Truth be told, I still don’t know what caused so many arguments. I KNEW we had something….
“I’m going to school now.” Ashley interrupts my thoughts with her flat voice. I look at her, she’s stood up.
“Okay.” I reply, looking at my piece of jelly sandwich now.
“Don’t you want to come with me?” she asks while putting on her jeans.
“No.” I reply. Being in her backpack is the last thing I want right now. I’m tired of being shrunk, but even worse than that, is being shrunk and trapped in a moving cave.
“Okay.” She says, before putting on a red t-shirt. She proceeds to wear her favorite black converses, and then she goes out the room without even looking at me. The door is closed shut with a bang after her.
I finish my food and use my cupped hand to drink some milk from the cup. What should I do now? She won’t be back for at least 6 hours. I look around, and then it hits me. I have no way to get down from the dresser!
Minutes pass one after another, with me just sitting here on Ashley’s dresser, looking at the furniture for the hundredth time. The highlight of my day so far is pissing off the edge into her trash bin….
I need to figure out a way to get back to normal. I think I should’ve gone with her to school, maybe then I could ask Kyle or even Julia for help. A second fall out with Ashley at this size won’t be very helpful. Tomorrow is Saturday, meaning no more school for two days. What the hell am I supposed to do with Ashley for two days?
The doorknob finally turns, and Ashley walks in. she throws her black and grey backpack in a corner. She’s scanning the dresser now, I think she wants to see if I’m still here… yep she just noticed me. I hope she opens a dialogue…
She continues to take off her clothing. She’s in her panties and bra now, but I’m not going to look at her. I don’t want her to think I’m attracted to her….
“There was talk of you at school.” She says suddenly.
“What did they say?” I reply. I’d completely forgotten about the outside world….
“The teachers are mad at you. They think you’ve taken off your clothes in a classroom to go on a naked streak or something.” She continues, still avoiding eye contact with me. She’s wearing her grey tank top now.
I get it. They’ve found my clothes lying on the ground, and they’ve come up with the easiest explanation. Well, no way for them to guess what really happened I guess…
“They’ve also suspended you.” She continues.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” THIS IS SO UNFAIR!
“You don’t need to swear.” she says, now looking at me with… disgust?
“Oh, don’t you dare lecture me on manners, Ash!” I reply, my voice is still loud. “You left me here trapped for the past 6 hours!” I say, thumping my bare foot on the wooden dresser. I’m tired, I’m bored, and I’m mad. She wouldn’t mess with me if I was normal….
Ash looks surprised for a fraction of a second. Did she not notice that she’d left me stranded here…?
“It’s not my fault you’ve shrunk!” she says, still standing in the middle of the room.
This is too much. She leaves me like some toy here on her dresser, and then treats me like shit?
“Yeah well, why don’t you just leave me like the last time then?”
She just froze there, still standing. Now, she’s just staring at me. I feel awkward, did I go too far by mentioning the break up? It was a year ago!
“DON’t YOU DARE BLAME ME FOR THAT! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME END IT!” she shouts back, pointing at me with her giant finger.
“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH ME! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING ASH!” I feel a burning sensation in the back of my eyes. This is the first time we’ve discussed our relationship’s end.
“No, I HAD SOMETHING while you were obsessed with your arrogance and your basketball and all that shit like always…”
What is she talking about? I was obsessed? Is she crazy?
“I loved you Ash…” I say hoarsely. I can’t believe it. I really don’t understand…
“OH, SHUT UP!” She says, taking a step closer to the dresser and me. “You’re an animal Sam. All you care about is your stupid ego!”
“What are you talking about?” I reply. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my face is burning. She walks towards me. She’s now towering above, and now she’s raised her hands. What is she gonna do?
She puts her hands slowly on the dresser on either side of me and bends down…. Her face is right in front of me. There’s no way for me to run, I’m trapped….
I stare back, still standing still.
“Don’t you get it?” she says slowly, her low voice is trembling. “You’re not who you think you are, Sam. Haven’t you ever wondered why Kyle was your only friend in the entire school?”
Wha… What is she talking about? I can’t say a word. I just keep staring at her. Her blue eyes are still fixed on me, motionless.
“What do you mean?” I finally utter the words. My throat is dry.
“People don’t think you cool, or hot, or manly or whatever the hell you think you are.” She says in her low voice. “You’re just a rich, arrogant asshole to them.”
But… my team… my friends? The girls? Oh my God…Ash…
“What about you?” I ask her, still looking into her eyes. “What am I to you?”
“You’re the only person I ever loved Sam.” She replies in such a low voice I doubt I could hear her if she wasn’t inches away. The blue of her eyes is getting richer… deeper… a tear drop finally gives up and falls down on her cheek.
“I…I loved you, Ash… I swear I always loved you…”
“Liar!” She suddenly takes a step back, struggling to hold her tears. “I never felt loved. You were obsessed with yourself all the time!” she turns around and lies on her bed, face down. I can hear her muffled cries....
I spent the last hour thinking about what she said. I think real Ash has fallen asleep on the bed. I… I admit, at times I was being self-centered but… I never thought….
The memories of our relationship keep rushing to my head. It’s June. Ash is asking me to go to Nadia the nerd’s birthday party. “She hasn’t got many friends, Sam. She’d love to see us there!” she says.
“Nah, it’s gonna suck. Besides, what would the guys say if I showed up at her stupid party?” I reply, laughing.
It’s July. Ash has been cold to me ever since the double date we had with Julia and her boyfriend a couple of weeks after Nadia’s birthday, which she attended alone. We went to the movies, but I doubt those guys saw much of it… but I’d picked the movie, and I enjoyed it a lot. I try to get her talking again.
“Why don’t we go shopping this afternoon?” I tell her.
She smiles for the first time in a while. “I’d rather we buy dinner and go to my place. Amanda’s got a new movie…”
“Will I finally get lucky after that?” I tell her, getting close.
“Sam! You know I want to know you better before that…” She replies, pushing me back. Her voice is sad again.
“Nah, forget it then. There’s a game tonight, and I prefer to avoid Amanda whenever I can.”
The next scene that comes to my mind is the latest. This one took place in September. We’ve just lost a game. Ash is sitting next to me in a bench in the park on Morton St. She’s wearing a white dress, my favorite.
“Don’t worry about it, Sam.” She says, stroking my cheek. I stop her by shaking my head.
“You’re a chick. You don’t get it.” I tell her harshly. My face is all red, and I’m still wearing my team’s uniform.
“I understand how losing feels. But I think you’re always overreacting….”
I stand up.
“Don’t pretend like you care, Ashley. You’ve been avoiding me all week.” I shout, turning around to face her. She doesn’t say a word. She’s just sitting there on the bench, looking up at me. “I don’t know what else you want from me, and I don’t care anymore. But don’t try to pretend like you care about the games, or me or whatever.”
“I just wish you’d care more about us…” she says slowly, still looking at me. She’s about to cry, and for some reason it makes me angrier.
“I AM WHOEVER THE FUCK I AM AND YOU’D BETTER GET USED TO IT. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE THE ONLY GIRL…” I finally shut my mouth after saying that.
Ash is crying.
I remain there for a second, dubious. I walk off then.
I called her back and apologized two days later, inviting her to a classy restaurant, and then a late night show at the local movie theater. That’s when we broke up.
I remember my previous relationships, how I’d bought myself a couple of more dates with expensive gifts.
I remember the fights I had with David, how Julia would avoid me…. I remember when Tina asked to go to an expensive French restaurant for our first date. How Kyle had forgot about me as soon as someone showed interest in friendship with him. Then it hits me. It finally hits me.
Ashley’s face is in front of me now, in my mind. “You’re not who you think you are.” Her imaginary lips say.
I look at the bed, where Ashley’s fallen asleep. She must have been tired, I woke her up too soon today after all…
I approach the edge of the dresser and take a look at her trash bin down there. It’s full of tissues she used when she was crying. She cried for a good 20 minutes with her back towards me. I look at her, sleeping on the bed.
“I might have been a selfish asshole Ash.” I whisper, still looking at her as I take a step closer to the edge. “I might have been a lot of things. But I always loved you from the bottom of my heart.” I open my hands. “And I will prove it to you this time.” I continue before I take a step off the edge. I fall down into the heap of tissues and Ashley’s tears, with my eyes still fixed on the petite, bent figure of the only person who’s ever really loved me in my life.
I have the most important game of my life ahead of me.
And I must not lose this time.