It's been a rather droll first half at the Emirates so far. We've definitely had the lion's share of possession, but haven't been able to produce a goal. God I want us to win so bad that it's going to hurt, literally. I just want to see them miserable, even if it will be at my expense. 

Finally we start to build up some pressure right near half time. I'm pacing back and forth as I watch us get the ball down the right. It pings around a little bit, a cross is fired in and...

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! GET THE FUCK IN!!! YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

Robin van Persie is somehow able to turn the cross into the goal from the tightest of angles. The Emirates is in bedlam as Arsenal go up 1-0 on Tottenham in this year's North London Derby! I am ecstatic. I race all around my cage shouting frantically. The thought of what's to come for me when they return never crosses my mind as I start chanting with my fellow Gooners on the television.

"Who are ya?! Who are ya?! Who are ya!? Who are ya?!"

Somewhere in the crowd they're sulking right now, as all Spurs fans should do when they play the mighty Arsenal. But wait a minute. The replay ends and what the hell? Cesc Fabregas is through on goal and...

"YYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

Within about forty seconds Arsenal fire a double salvo straight through the lily white hearts of their adversaries! Two nil in a matter of seconds just before half time! 

"WHO ARE YA?! WHO ARE YA?! WHO ARE YA?!" 

'Who are ya?' becomes 'We've got Cesc Fabregas' as I join in with the television in serenading the Spurs fans their sorrow. In the back of my mind I know it's going to be my sorrow in a few hours, but right now I'm going to enjoy myself. You see, I'm in a cage right now. I'm in a cage because I'm about three inches tall. I am a captive. My captors? They're at the Emirates right now in the away section. That's right, I'm the captive of two scummy Spurs fans. It's quite a story how I ended up like this, but let's just say I was at the wrong place at the completely wrong time. My bad luck became their good luck and now I'm their sick version of a pet. I say sick because I don't get treated with the same decency that most pets enjoy. I'm really more of a toy. If you don't pick up where this is going, you'll find out when they get home. As for now, just enjoy the rest of the match because I know I'm going to. Come on Arsenal!

The second half passes without incident. Robin van Persie scores another goal, and we win the match 3-0. If my life weren't awful, I'd be headed out for drinks right now to celebrate with my mates after another victorious North London Derby. Right now though, all I can do is wait. There's a clock in their room that tells me just how long it's going to take them to get home. Very punctual, my captors. I've steeled myself to my fate though. I know what's coming and I don't really think there's any way that I could soften what awaits me. So what am I going to do? I'm going to take the piss out of them when they come home. A sound 3-0 beating at the hands of Arsenal is bad enough, but to get mocked by your own toy when you return because of it? Must be pretty awful. I think they're trying to condition me to root against Arsenal by leaving the game on for me while they're gone. They presume that I don't want to get fucking abused when they come back, which I don't. But believe me, I'm not about to start cheering against the Gunners. They're fuckin' daft.

An hour goes by and like the workings inside the clock on the wall, I hear keys outside along with a couple of very familiar voices. They enter their flat and I see light from the living room. I inhale, and prepare myself. Here we go.

"YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THE ARSENAL! YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THE ARSENAL! YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THE ARSENAL! YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THE ARSENAL!"

"...He thinks he's funny doesn't he?"

The bedroom door opens up and they step inside, dressed in their foul and ugly looking Spurs kits. Mark peers down at me with eyes that say he's had more than a few beers. Lisa steps in after him. She appears only a tad more sober. Oh I'm in for it. Oh well.

"THE WANKY TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR WENT TO ROME TO SEE THE POPE, AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID: FUCK OFF! WHO'S THAT TEAM THEY CALL THE AAAARSENAL? WHO'S THAT TEAM WE ALL ADOOO-"

My glorious singing is cut off at once as the door to my cage is opened rather violently and Mark's fat hand grabs me up with not an ounce of mercy. He squeezes the air out of me for a moment, relishing the blueish hue my face seems to be turning. He lets go and I get a breath in--and resume singing.

"...and it's Aaaarsenall... Aaaaarsenalll Eff CEEEEEEE-"

Squeezed again. Mark's got a smirk on his face. I can hear Lisa doing something behind him, and she emits a giggle when my voice is cut off.

"Don't break him, love. If we're gonna do that, I at least want to be involved."

"Oh don't worry. I'm not going to pop his head off, as tempting as it is."

I somehow manage to get my left arm free from Mark's grip as he's speaking to Lisa. I raise the middle finger. My ultimate sign of defiance. I manage to squeak out some more words.

"Stand up... if you hate Tottenham, stand up! If yoooooooo-"

Now I can see Mark undoing his belt with his other hand. I hear, but don't see Lisa fall to the bed. They're getting right into it tonight. Damn. Mark moves over to Lisa, who I can see is completely naked. She's in much better shape than her husband is, but she's still got some meat on her. Well proportioned with a nice looking face. If she weren't a Spurs fan I'd call her pretty. Below that are some enormous breasts that are even large from my point of view. As we move down we see a not so flat belly that makes way to a not so trimmed bush and down to the area where I'm headed. I've been here before. Lisa's pussy is a foul, hungry beast that loves to swallow me up. I don't think Mark would like to know how often I'm in there when he's not at home, but it's not like I'm going to brag to him. 

Roughly Mark presses me against Lisa's lips that are already practically drooling. I'm telling you, she's got a thing for me. I doubt she gets this wet when she's having boring old sex with the hubby. If she even does that anymore. Damn. My face is pressed up and down the entrance to the cave, being dragged across the burgeoning clitoris and then over her wiry brown pubic hairs. My neck feels like it might snap as I'm pulled back down and then finally shoved in. Mark uses two of his fat fingers to push me deep within his wife's pussy. I've got her juices in my mouth instantly. He doesn't need to push me though. I quickly try to make heads or tails of my positioning so that I can get myself as far back as possible. It's not happening, though. I slip around aimlessly as her muscles squeeze together. I'm in an oven of sex and sound that's completely deafening. And then comes the real pain bringer.

Mark is a decently endowed man. I mean, at full size, I'm bigger than he is and I'd give his wife a much better fuck if the roles were reversed, but he does well with what he has. I'm humbled by it so because at the moment it slams directly into me. I don't know how he KNOWS right where to aim his head every time so that it mashes me against his wife's vaginal walls, but he does it. I'm pressed as tightly as possible against the side and all the air is driven from me even harder than when I was being squeezed. He recedes. I try to catch my breath and all that I get is pussy juice. Fuck.

In it comes again, and this time it drags over top of me and pushes me a bit deeper. I claw to get hold of anything that I possibly can but it's really no use. I'm dragged a little closer to the entrance as Mark recedes and am then shoved even farther in upon the next thrust because I'm able to sit up a little bit. I use Mark's momentum to maneuver myself backwards as far as I can. I might have done it this time! Once you get far enough back in Lisa's pussy, Mark's dick can't get to me. If they don't realize that I'm back there, all I've got to worry about is the orgasm. And Mark doesn't ever pull out. It is as disgusting as it sounds. I'm more or less okay with it now, but the first time, hell the first fifty times were awful. Unfortunately they realize that's where I'm at, so they change positions. 

Lisa gets on top and this is the worst. I start sliding down and I meet Mark's dick face to face. I wipe some of his pre-cum out of my eyes and absently wonder what the point is before Lisa lifts up, and comes down. Up, and then down. Mark starts to thrust upwards in well practiced rhythm with her and I'm being slapped and flopped all over the place. I get trapped between his dick and the side of her pussy once and wonder if maybe I can escape. I've done this before though and ended up stuck to the spot between Mark's balls and his asshole somehow. They then got the clever idea to leave me stuck there for the entire night. Not one of my better days, let me tell you. 

Eventually I manage to get hold of the tip of Mark's cock while he slows down and then they change positions again. He pulls his manhood out and I wonder if he knows where I'm at. I take a leap of faith and jump off, hoping maybe they'll just resume and assume that I'm inside of her. No such luck. Mark catches me roughly in his hand and in about two seconds I'm pressed up against his wife's asshole as she's bent over for doggy style fucking. 

"Ha ha ha! Brings new meaning to ARSEnal fan, doesn't it?"

I hear her cackle from the other side of her arse at her own obnoxiously poor joke. Mark actually pokes my whole head inside her ass which is something that surprises me because it's new. The smell is very obviously foul and I realize that breathing is almost impossible. Thankfully I'm pulled out with a bit of POP created from the suction. I just have to keep thinking... "Well at least we beat Spurs 3-0 today."

I'm shoved roughly up her pussy again and Mark's giant cock follows me. I'm unable to get as far back as I like and Mark begins pumping extremely rapidly. This is his favorite position and it's not going to take long now. I struggle to get in every breath that I can because I know I'm going to be without air soon for quite some time. I hear them moaning outside, I hear Mark's voice get louder, I see his piece spasm and leak a few spurts out and then I'm covered. Shot after shot of the ironically white stuff douses me from head to toe and I close my eyes. It's always easier to hold my breath when they're closed. Now I've just got to wait.

Fortunately it doesn't take so long this time. Usually Mark will just keep his dick inside Lisa until he softens up and put me as near to drowning as he possibly can. I think the thought of literally drowning an Arsenal fan in his cum delights him. I suppose. I wipe the cum from my mouth and take in as much fresh air as I possibly can. Lisa's body angle changes and I slip out of her pussy with a lot of the white stuff. We fall to the mattress with a slap and that's that. I just lay there, completely exhausted. They usually cuddle for a little bit before I get thrown back in my cage and they go do other stuff. Today I'm not so fortunate.

Mark picks me up and slaps me across the face with his cock a few times, laughing. Lisa laughs too. Fucking cunts. 

"You know, that actually felt good when you had his head up there. Do you want to try to fit him completely in?"

Oh hell.

"It did? Sure, we can try it. I'm sure it'll get me hard again in no time... then maybe do you want to do anal... with him..."

Oh hell...

"What? No, that's too much! I mean we can fit him up there and see how it feels and then maybe, if it's not too tight for me, MAYBE. I make no promises."

I love how they talk about me like I'm not even here. Suddenly a huge glob of spit hits me right in the face, and I see Lisa turn around. Slow motion effects seem to take over as her gigantic derriere fills my vision. She reaches a hand back to spread her cheeks for me. What a view. I see Mark stick two of his fingers in his mouth and then they set about lathering up Lisa's asshole and stretching it out. This is going to be a very long night for me. Mark grins down at me extremely malevolently and I start singing in the strongest voice I'm able to muster...

"...there's no love for Tottenham... there's no love for Tottenham... there's no love f-"

Face meets asshole and I hear an "oooo!" coming from Lisa as everything goes black.