Reviewer: Theresa Yuen Signed
Date: February 17 2023
Title: Chapter 2: Chapter X-2: Through security
Greetings Kenny,
Interestingly, you mentioned that Dianne “could just as easily be Italian” in your earliest chapter, “To the Airport”. I like to offer a feminine perspective, as it would be better if you would put additional focus on the elegant qualities towards the character. This way, you would present your appreciation towards her elegance and sophistication. For example, as follows:
Dianne has all the attributes of the essence of “la bella figura”, the Italian beauty motto, which represents as the “beautiful behavior”. She has benefitted from a deep Italian upbringing, as she endeavours to conduct herself with articulacy, good manners, and elegance to maintain good relationships with her friends and loved ones. She has a classic, distinct characteristics that heighten her Mediterranean physique, besides her olive skin, dark eyes, and dark hair, she has aristocratic, high cheekbones, and a nose with a prominent slightly aquiline bridge. Her figure is somewhat slender women with medium breasts and narrow hips, yet she retains a little curve.
Cheers, Tess
Author's Response:
Hey Tess,
Thank you for the review, and I'm glad you are enjoying the story.
Thank you for your suggestion. To be clear, I'm being deliberately vague with whether or not Dianne is italian (or anything else for that matter) because, in my experience, it's very difficult to actually know where somebody comes from based on appearance alone, and also, because I'm fine with the reader coming up with their own ideas and details for the character, as i think that peoples own imagination often can do a much better job with filling out character details then anything i can write, at least for all readers.
As such, it seems you have come up with your own ideas for the character, which I'm happy works for you.
Kenny