Penname: italykeke [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: May 15 2013
Membership status: Member
Bio:

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Reviews by italykeke
Summary:

An 18 year old sister finds herself shrinking and must live through the embarressing trauma of shrinking smaller then her 15 year old, 12 year old, 8 year old and finally two year old sisters. suddenly she isn't the dominate one in the house and her mother just doesn't care. Can she survive her sisters as they realize the upper hand they have?


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Butt, Feet, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Humiliation, Mouth Play, New World Order, Odor, Slow Size Change, Violent
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Dwarf (3 ft. to 5 ft.), Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: F/f
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 49454 Read Count: 345656
[Report This] Published: December 31 2012 Updated: October 12 2016
Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: November 09 2013 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

Hi , I think even if there are some little misspelling the story is still really enjoyable and I liked every chapters you wrote .


As far as I'm concerned , I don't think that there is a urge to make Kate shrink at every chapters as she won't be able to grow back. Now she is only a foot and half tall there is not a lot to do until she is shrunk to a minuscule size. I think you should as mentioned in another review (I utterly agree with that one and the ideas developed in it) try to elaborate while she still have a "proper" height the relationship Kate will have with Emma as she is now fully aware of what happened. The idea of her bossing her around and yelling even punishing her sounded good as she may be in a really stressful situation at her young age and judging to the description you gave throughout the story. I think that Stacey should try to manipulate Emma and make her act roughly against Kate.

A thing I didn't see but I think may be important should be Stacey trying to act nice to clean her picture and try to get closer to Emma, like doing chores and advice stuffs Emma should have to relax. Stacey would points out how some persons in the house didn't do anything useful and didn't even tried to. Maybe thanks to that she would be able to convince Emma to act roughly against Kate and make her do stuffs she could do even at her size (degrading tasks of course like cleaning really filthy spots , changing Rebecca , or even convince Emma to get a massage from Kate)
I also sent you a mail and hope you got it ^^ , good luck and keep the good work , you're doing well !

Author's Response:

thankyou for your review and advice. with everyone mentioning how they would like emma to be mean through chores and degrading words sounds very appealing. I just have to workout how that can connect with my previous chapters and workout how emma will punish stacy and amy for what they have done. the story you mentioned sounds cool and i'll totally check it out. it will keep my mind off being sick for a while =)

once again, thanks for your review, i appreciate all your words of kindness and help.

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 13 2013 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

Ah! I'm glad to see this amazing story back on road , with nonetheless that two new chapters I liked !

I'm glad you chose a way like this, I personally enjoyed how Emma seemed to like to have the "big Sister" role and even pshycologicaly humiliated Kate, it was a really good idea in my opinion.

As you asked to know what your readers wanted concerning Stacey I'm giving you my idea:I think that she should be less evil from now on, the psychotic character is pushed a bit too far and seems to be a bit unrealistic (this isn't a critisism, I really liked how she bullied around Kate but I think that with the harsh punishment she got, there is no way she would keep on harrassing Kate like she did before but maybe it only brought a big amount of hatred towards Kate but that's another thing ). I think it would be perfect to see her as a character with a strong personality of a dominant girl, enjoying to rule around and to have power on anyone, I would prefer to see her more as a power addict than a mere cruel person. The idea of having her classmate having the shrinking virus is really cool as mentioned in another review is really cool I think! Another scene that would be nice would be like she manage to be alone with Kate and says something like " you think you've won ? Well guess what I don't care about you! You're going to become less than dirt soon or later and at that moment I'll get you, and by the way I'm still able to play around with your stupid friend at school that's fun to see how she shrinks when she is worried about you " then spitting on her or doing her usual mean things .


I'm also giving you some ideas I thought of what could be cool to see.
To keep on writing about Amy and Jess, maybe you could make a scene where Amy manage for the first time to hurt Jess feelings by telling her how Kate had shrunk and make her shrink. Jess maybe could try to fight back Stacey while she bullies Michael but see that her shrinking was making her really weak and maybe even make her be defeated by Amy and Stacey.

For the mother's character I think it would be nice to see a gentle character but acting in a too often uncaring way. She would be gentle because thanks to this desease, she doesn't have to work as much as before but still not consider her daughter's shrinking desease seriously. Like she could humiliate Kate by focusing on how she wasn't even trying to do anything by herself anymore. referring to her as her "little baby "or to joke with her pointing out how she was the smallest girl she had. Scenes where she almost crush her saying her " ups sorry Kate I didn't see you you shouldn't stay around big persons when they are busy " well those kinds of stuff. I would really like to see her force Kate to give her a daily footrub because it's the least she could do for her hardworking mother ( she would argue ) Of course, Kate feeling like just a little foot massaging tool would shrink from both anger and humiliation from her uncaring mother. Maybe even having Amy ask for her mother to join and get one too ? Another scene including the mother should be she moves Kate to her room and set her in a baby-bed telling her it was better to have her around so she could help her even if she shrinks further and could go bring her anything she needed during night. A scene with the baby-sitter ? Kate being too puny to stay alone ?


The last two chapters showed really well how Emma has evolved while Kate has just kept getting smaller ( physically and mentally) I hope you will do more of that showing how Emma is now The big sister in this house and that Kate have to behave like a nice girl with her.

I have an idea for an ending too but I think I might have said enough stuffs and hope I didn't annoy you with my ideas. That's what I can think of would be cool to see. You are of course the one who decides and I will always enjoy your story ! Thanks for the hardwork and I'm looking forward to see more of that ! Thanks for reading

Author's Response:

thankyou for your ideas I found them quite inspiring. I especially thought the dialogue you supplied was useful and actually gave me some god ideas. In fact all the ideas you gave were excellent including the ideas with the mother. I was actually trying to think of a way the mother could act (As I do see her as a slightly uncaring figure since she has worked most of her daughters lives) and you gave some perfect examples. Here is what I will most likely use from you comments:

- Stacy's changed attitude

-Stacy's and Amy's attack on Jessica

-Jessica's realization she can't fight back

-Emma's "abuse" of Kate

-the mother's "abuse" of Kate.

You mentioned something about an ending you would like. I would very much like to hear it. I asked for suggestions so don't think I would ever get annoyed when I get them. All the suggestions I get are greatly appreciated (even the ones I don't plan on ever using). In fact, I was actually thinking of giving this story alternatve endings. For example, if kate shrinks too much and can't overcome an obstacle and dies I would write that as an alternative then write another chapter caying how she survived and continue the story. What do you think of this?

Anyway, thankyou very much for you ideas and I have taken them into planning. =)

Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: December 13 2013 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

I think alternatives stories are a really good idea! It wasn't used too much on this website and I think it's a scheme there is not something like a choice decision possible. I really think this is a good idea and you should do it if you want to ! It can only be better!


As For my ideas, I'm glad to see you are interested in them !As you ask me for what I had in mind for a an ending here is what I thought of,the story should head to (it's a bad ending for Kate and friends I guess ) , Jess (and Michael if you choose to put him) are captured by Amy and Stacey, they use them to blackmail Kate and convince her to talk back to Emma and act as much as she can to make her mad at her and also clean their name to her. Then when Emma show no sympathy for Kate anymore ( serve her food on the ground, mock her in front of the family, put her back to her place , ignore her etc) and show more sympathy toward her other siblings the two young girls keep her and enslave her just like they did to the others. They treat her so bad ( with ass and feet treatment ) and surveil her so much she give up and beg for the freedom of her friends in exchange of her slavery. Of course the bargain wouldn't be respected and The two others, not ready to give up hope are bound to stay , for Mickael in Stacey's butt and for Jess in Amy's shoes. Kate would undergo both of their ass and feet for the rest of her life until she eventually become so small she disappear for them ( even sucked in a ass or pussy or even crushed underfoot or drown in sweat if she dies ) or she could also be placed when shrunk enough in Emma's or her mother shoes so she'll live in it eating fuzz and drinking sweat.

By the way I truly hope you'll make a scene with the mother, exhausted from work comes home , lie on the sofa and seing Kate not doing anything usefull force her to rub her feet , even yell on her when she refuses at first. As she sees Kate doesn't like to do it at all is amused by that and tease her again.If Emma tells her she shouldn't make her do that her mother could turn the table upside down and convince her daughter that Kate have to find a way to help in the house and if it's helping the hardworking ones to relax it's a good thing and she should encourage her to do more . She could say something like " common , it's even her who wanted to please me cause I had unfairly told her last time she didn't try to do anything useful, now she is willing to do that you want her to stop ? You disagree with her right Kate ?" ( this kind of behavior we will understand where Stacey got that comedian skills ha ha) . If she convince Emma to try it , that it will change her mind, the two of them would appreciate a nice movie while having their feet rubbed. I thing it could be a cool, rational way to have more physical humiliation from those two grown up ones. It will be another strong shock for Kate to handle , after being bossed around by her younger simbling, being talked to like a child and taken care of like a baby , she was now even under her once little sister's huge sole, massaging it while she wasn't even taking care of it and was more interested in the movie and joking with her mom witnessing how she was different and looked more confident and woman than before. I truly think it would be great, the fact they decide to do it any Thursday for exemple with her mother saying something like:" I hope it will be better next week cause you need to study foot massages" then Emma "Don't worry sis I'll buy you a book with any kind of massages so you will be the best tiny masseuse of the world", would make it common sence and if one day Kate decided to revolt and refuse then she would be scorn by her younger sister and punished after being forced to do it anyway . (Of course it wouldn't only be foot massages, it would be whatever you like and there is no need to write about it all the times she had to do that so this could be an event happening in one chapter)


Another thing I saw was breast feeding , it would be a really hard humiliation but it seems difficult to find any possible way it could happen, if you think about making one I only see a few way it could work , if you make a chapter were Kate has to stand against her too-drunk sister or mother. (there is another way: milk was found out to heavily slow down the shrinking desease)

Well I hope I inspired you a bit more, of course I detailed a lot the scenes but it's of course just to justify how the rest happened and try to be as clear as possible, then again take what you think is good !

Author's Response:

Thankyou once again for you suggestions, they have given me a lot to think about. I'm afraid I probably won't use your ending as I don't find that it would work but I would most likely make a variation of it as an alternative. But your other suggestion were very helpful.

I like how you expanded on your idea of the mother forcing kate for a foot rub and you gave me a few examples I could use to humiliate her and even bring Kate in on it. It would work well because then everyone in the house would be against her but in their own different way. This idea I will most definitely use. =)

The suggestion I like the most is your idea about breast feeding. I wasn't going to include it because it just didn't fit with the story but your ideas are brilliant. I could write about how the mother/ sister get drunk and combine that with the fact that breast milk slows down the shrinking process. This would give the drunken women the crazy idea that if they breast fed Kate then she would stop shrinking and would result in total humiliation for Kate. The only problem is that Emma shouldn't have the ability to lactate as she doesn't have a child. Breast milk developed when a womans body in subjected to hormones when she is pregnant and causes her to lactate. But I could just forget about that and make it happen anyway =)

All your ideas are good and I appreciate your input. If you have any other suggestions please don't feel like you'd be annoying if you gave them.

Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: December 14 2013 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

Ha ha ok, hmm seems like I forgot to precise that it would be a nice payback if Stacey got the shrinking virus too at the end once Kate disappear (that's the most important thing but I forgot to write it ;( ).

According to breast feed of course Emma can't . And I don't know if you should make her be able to do it or not. if she cannot secrete milk she can still try to do it, and force Kate to suck like a baby at her breast. If she can it would of course be even better and more humiliating but you will have to justify it and I don't really see how to do it , maybe you could try "Suddenly, as Kate has stopped fighting back and sucked like a newborn on her big sister's breast she felt something weird happen, if she thought she couldn't be more humiliate, she felt an hot substance emerge from the young girl's breast.Emma was able to produce milk" . Or you could still make her suck the breast without milk production.she's drunk and heard about the advantages of breastfeed she would force Kate to do it even if it wouldn't work.

Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: December 18 2013 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

hey, 

I enjoyed how happened this last chapter , it would be cool to see this cold asian agent some times,  maybe you should make her less robotic and more of the buisness-first kind I think though. 

I have some other ideas if you want , maybe one with stacey having heard of what the agent said abuse Kate and if she menace to denounce her she could answer, "if you do you'll end up in a shrinking center and you'll be enslaved till the end of your life so now shut up bitch, ha ha, hooo you'll cry poor baby? wanna suck on my tits? ha ha ha" 

also maybe making Kate not able to control her anger because of the news she'll be breastfeed and somehow shrinks a bit. then Emma and Jane come in to discuss about if she agreed to be breastfeed but when they see she had shrunk again they do not hesitate and force her to accept and yell on her saying she has to stop to act like a child.

then again that's only ideas that crossed my mind, maybe some others would be better ^^. See ya !



Author's Response:

1) I made the asian character robotic so I would have to write a whole lot explaining her emotions as she speaks. That chapter was already pretty long so if I added "explanatory" text it would be horrible! I also made her robotic so I would have an excuse to simply explain the story quickly and easily. If I got a "normal" character to explain and discuss everything the same way the agent did it would seem really out of character and unrealistic. Robotic characters don't look so obvious when giving exposition in other words.

However, having said that, now that all that explaining is over, it would be easy for me to tweak her character to be slightly emotional but simply "business-like" as you said. The main reason why I probably won't do that is that I already have way too many side characters as it and don't want to shove anymore into the story just yet. Hell, I still have to bring back amy's "friend" who was helping her abuse Kate. She's been missing for like ten hcapters or something. Anyway, if I get a chance I might bring back the agent but she is far down on my list of priorities.

2) You're second idea is interesting. I really like the idea that Stacy learns that Kate doesn't want to be sent to a shrinker centre. This would give her the ability to torment Kate while keeping her silent. Your second suggestion regarding how she does it probably won't make it. But I still like the general suggestion =)

3) Yeah, I'm going to make Kate become angry with her situation as she has all these rules and restriction enforced upon her and now there is the chance she might be force breastfed. This outburst would slowly turn her mother and Emma against her (not in the same way Stacy is) as they see their actions as helping while Kate is being stubborn and selfish.

All in all, thankyou for your suggestions. I always appreciate them =) 

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 18 2014 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

I waited so much to see you continuing it ! I'm so glad you finally did :) !


This new chapter for sure turned upside down the situation , it shows there is still hope for Kate :P ! I wonder how will it evolve. I really like how Kate evolve in a dangerous environment where she lost control on everything , we can clearly see how she is threatened by anyone when she does something. A funny thing would be to have Jane yelling at her for not listening when she tries to meditate xD, or even not trusting her if she denounce Stacy , with Emma also trying to hide the truth and siding against her older sister grounding her for lying, then explaining it was for her own sake .

For the mysterious master, I don't think he/she is related to Jessica as they discovered that it was her younger siblings doing that only recently , I still hope to see it soon and good job writing such an amazing universe ! :)


Ps: there is just a tiny flaw , you mentioned that kate was only 1ft 1/2 then in this last chapter she is at the height of Stacy's waist. (Well it's No problem with me as it announce she will probably shrink a lot soon :D). Could you also tell me what was my email I forgot ha ha ! I wish good luck to you and hope to see more soon ! :)

Author's Response:

thankyou =) I have been meaning to write more but with my internet down while moving it has been impossible. Yes, I wanted to create a feeling of total isolation with everyone in the family kind of squeezing her but in their own way (Stacy being mean, Emma being forceful, Mother being over baring). The next chapter might also include that drunken scene that has been discussed.

Damn, I hate it when I make inconsistencies! I didn't realize I had shrunken her down that far and thought she only came up to Stacy's waist (Or was it Amy's waist?) Well, lets hope none of these inconsistencies continue =( Thankyou for alerting me to it so I can be more careful.

And what do you mean "They" have only known that it was the younger siblings recently. If you mean Jessica then they have known for a few days (Ever since school) And that would be more than enough for someone with jessica's power to organize somehing. Don't forget, she is super rich!

You asked for your email address. These are the only ones I could find I hope they are helpful =) italiekeke2@yahoo.com <italiekeke2@yahoo.com>; or italykeke@outlook.com <italykeke@outlook.com>;

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 20 2014 Title: Chapter 1: introducing the characters

This last chapter was one of my fav ! :) good job once again !



Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Summary:

This is the story of a young man who hates his current situation in life but finds a way to turn it around and live a life of adventure and new beginnings. All characters in this story are completely original and any likeness to anyone living or dead is merely coincidental.


Categories: Slow Size Change, Butt, Body Exploration, Feet, Gentle, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Humiliation, Insertion, Maternal
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 40050 Read Count: 368962
[Report This] Published: May 06 2013 Updated: May 18 2015
Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 15 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Ethan

The story is pretty good, I think you should not worry about publishing it daily , it would stop your motivation and inspiration , I hope to see more :)

Author's Response:

Thanks, I don't really worry about it, it's just that as I make the outline and get further ahead, I want to make sure I keep up the writing. It actually helps me to think of more stuff for future chapters. And truth be told, it's comments like yours that keep me motivated and inspired.

Thanks for reading

Summary:

Un garçon tsundere commence étrangement a rétrécir,et sa grande soeur finit par le découvrir...


Categories: Gentle, Growing/Shrinking out of clothes, Humiliation, Incest, Maternal
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: FM/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 8296 Read Count: 24292
[Report This] Published: June 30 2013 Updated: March 14 2014
Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: August 03 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1, Le Rétrécissement de Simon

Salutation , je viens de lire ton petit roman . C'est pas mal du tout , j'aime beaucoup le lent rétrécissement ! 
Merci au passage pour m'avoir laissé un commentaire! N'hésite pas à m'en laisser d'autre si tu veux voir quelque chose , ou a des idées!
J'espère que tu feras plus d'histoire dans ce genre et que celle ci sera continuée . Au fait , si tu veux un de ces quatres on pourrait se réunir pour faire une histoire ensemble ? :) 

Bye ! 

Summary:

With a super secret and powerful weapon stolen from a government base the weapon quickly falls into the hands of stacy, a cruel and evil 13 year old. Overcome with power she decides to use the gun to get her way and to punish everyone who has ever "wronged" her.


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Giantess, Butt, Crush, Feet, Unaware, Violent, Vore
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Micro (1 in. to 1/2 in.)
Size Roles: F/f, F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 25365 Read Count: 172069
[Report This] Published: November 10 2013 Updated: June 20 2014
Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: March 25 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Stacy + shrink ray =

Wait a sec...That airplane that disappeared.... Oh my god !

Summary:

L'histoire d'un jeune homme qui se voit soumis à un rétrécissement chronique, le faisant graduellement baisser dans son cadre de vie.


Categories: Maternal, Teenager (13-19), Adventure, Feet, Entrapment, Humiliation, New World Order, Slave, Slow Size Change, Incest
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Doll (12 in. to 6 in.), Dwarf (3 ft. to 5 ft.), Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.), Micro (1 in. to 1/2 in.), Minikin (3 in. to 1 in.), Munchkin (2.9 ft. to 1 ft.)
Size Roles: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 13344 Read Count: 31185
[Report This] Published: December 23 2013 Updated: December 30 2013
Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: January 20 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Le début du problème

Après relecture, je trouve les personnages vide de fond, je prefère rajouter quelques chapitres expliquant le developpement plutot que de me dépécher à faire agir la maladie, si vous avez des idées ou des conseils pour l'histoire je suis prêt à en tenir compte, dites moi ce que vous aimeriez voir ;).

Erica's House by realRS Rated: PG starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 83]
Summary:

When every member of her family is shrunk to doll size 16 year old Erica becomes head of the house. 

Will the Rockwell family adapt to the once shy Erica being in charge?  Will Erica let the power go to her head?  


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Young Adult 20-29, Mature (40-49), Body Exploration, Entrapment, Gentle, Humiliation, Instant Size Change, New World Order, Slave
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Lilliputian (6 in. to 3 in.)
Size Roles: F/f, F/m, FF/f, FF/m, FM/f, FM/m, M/f, M/m
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 28671 Read Count: 96267
[Report This] Published: January 16 2014 Updated: September 29 2016
Reviewer: italykeke Signed
Date: February 08 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection

Nice story ! :) I hope you'll do more soon! Plus I really enjoy your support on mine ;)

Kyra by little mikey Rated: R starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 96]
Summary:

A loving father of one inexplicably starts shrinking.  Unfortunately for him, his daughter soon realizes that she doesn’t have to take orders from him anymore – and their relationship starts to take an entirely different turn …

 


Categories: Teenager (13-19), Humiliation, Incest, Slow Size Change
Characters: None
Growth: None
Shrink: Dwarf (3 ft. to 5 ft.)
Size Roles: F/m
Warnings: Following story may contain inappropriate material for certain audiences, This story is for entertainment purposes only.
Series: None
Chapters: 27 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 199743 Read Count: 716720
[Report This] Published: March 06 2014 Updated: September 07 2014
Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 12 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Intro

Hi, I think this story is really good, I like how the characters evolve throught the story.
It would be nice to see some interaction with other characters, like with that woman at the mall . It's really nice to see how the others also treat him like a child.

For the father's job, I would have loved to see how his boss treats him as he keeps on shrinking but I don't think he'll be able to go to work anymore, unless he manages to convince his daughter. What he could do is tell his boss because of his weird desease he won't be able to leave home soon, thus ask her to work home on his laptop.

Good luck ! And thanks again.



Author's Response:

There's a little bit in this new chapter with the doctor, and next chapter will take place at his work.  Yeah, it went a really long time with basically just two characters, but from here on out there's a couple more that play a significant role.  Thanks, and stay tuned ...

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 17 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Intro

Hi , 

I wanted to share with you a tool I use in order to compare height easily, http://socialcompare.com/en/tools/compare-sizes. Maybe you already know it but I think it's rather important as it shows you exactly the height you enter (and you can chose male/female pictures) . 

For the story, here are some ideas, you don't need to pay it much credit of course, 
I really like how James appears to look like a child for everyone now. I'm really eager to see how everyone at work will act too, and especially his boss, I know it may be hard to keep any interaction with them but I'd really like to see her interacting times to times in the story, as she looks to be really bossy :P. I don't think that Kyra would still let him still go to work but I think that he still will have to give reports once in a month to his boss or smething if he works at home, or maybe Kyra will just take his job and sometimes invite his former colleagues over.

For the cure, maybe it would have been nice to be a daily treatement, like if he doesn't take a pill one day, he'll shrink , so that Kyra could just punish him further if he was going naughty. 

Finaly, for his future I wonder if she'll manage to get some new ID for him and stuffs then force him to go to secondary school or elementary school were he'll be treated like a child by teachers.

 

Well that was my ideas, I hope you'll like it, I really like your story, it's a really interesting and original one! As always , I'm eager to know what'll come in the future and stay tuned ! Thanks for the amazing job!

 

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the tip, I might check out the site, but actually what I usually do is create my own simple collages in Photoshop, like a guy compared with a girl, and then I incrementally change the guy's height to give the right size ratio for each size level in the story.  Probably the same kind of idea you were thinking, though.  And I agree, it helps a lot to visualize their appearances.

And thanks for the other suggestions.  I thought about doing what you said in the last suggestion (him being forced to go to elementary school, etc.) but I ended up doing something a little different but pretty similar to that.

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 21 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Intro

Hi, 

I wonder how far this disease affects him, it  seems only physical at first but will it affect his brain too? making him act like a child or even forget every skills he had to only let him the once he learnt in elementary school ? 

 

Good story so far,

 

Ps: He calls her Kyra at the beginning of the chapter 14 but she didn't react. (While they are in the elevator) 



Author's Response:

Ah, thanks, I went back and fixed that line in ch 14 now.

As for the first comment: yeah, when I wrote this story, I was torn between having his mind get measurably weaker along with his body, or not.  I'll at least say that it's not so much like Pariah in terms of losing basic cognitive powers and stuff, but he definitely does at least experience some emotional/psychological changes as the story progresses.  I'll be curious to see what you think about it when it gets there.

Reviewer: italykeke Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: May 29 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Intro

Really nice chapter, I personnally like the details you put about how he is being downgraded by everyone. The idea of having his former friend slowly turning to Kyra's side is really good, she seems to see him more and more like a child and less as a friend as the story goes on and I think it's nice and hope to see it go further.

 One repproach I can do is it isn't really explained why the boss acts like that for Kyra, it seems a bit delusional. I can understand she'll really enjoy dowgrading James but I think you should have a bit explained why does she seems so happy to side with Kyra, even when they are proposing to buy clothes I thought her reaction was a bit too cheerful. She is supposed to be a rather smart person with a bossy temperament. Maybe it's because Kyra offered her to look after him some times ? 
Anyways, I enjoyed the story so far, thanks for that , I'll wait eagerly for more :) 



Author's Response:

Glad you liked the addition of Amy.  I hadn't even thought of adding a character like that until I actually sat down and wrote the scene.  That's what I love about writing -- no matter how much you plan out a scene ahead of time, it can always take on a new direction in the middle of writing it, usually with good results.

So yeah, I think that approach worked well with Amy, and also with Ms. Johnson, although in the latter case I realize I didn't give much backstory to why she treats him like that.  I noticed that when I was rereading it last week but I just didn't have the motivation to go back and add a better backstory.  I just figure that James did something in the past to make her strongly dislike him, whatever that may be.  Anyways, hopefully the lack of a strong explanation in the story doesn't detract too much from the enjoyment.