Reviewer: madeofwin Signed
Date: April 18 2024
Title: Chapter 6: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Sister
Wow, just wow. Congrats on the first arc completion! I know this is long in the tooth, but you wanted feedback...
First, If I'm giving my thoughts, I'd like to sum up where we are, because for me, that's part of what might come next.
So everything has been building to this point, but there's so much more for the characters to go.
First, now we have Hannah, Nate, Jess in a polyamorous relationship (more on that later). Second we have the growing/puberty/shrinking. Hannah is only 5'3" with her goal to far exceed her brother's projected height of 6'2" and Nate wanting to push down to 3'10". I'd say at least the high school years need coverage! Third, we have seeds for side stories anytime you want to take a break and play in the future. Finally, there is the last pieces from the first arc I'd describe as the five stages of Nate.
As for the first; I'd like to see a similar, slow slice of life second arc. Each of the three partners needs some time to adapt, interact and show off.
First is Hannah. I've loved Hannah, her dominance, dull social ineptness, and cuteness with the exception of she hasn't really gotten reciprocity. Hannah is always pleasuring, never pleasured. The scenes, in the gym with the weights, the thigh lift et al are marvelous; but she is pleasuring Nate and Jess. Which is normal. But now that she's in puberty, I'd like to see her figure grow out (hips, thighs, buttocks, and breasts) as well as a description of say, her first sexual interaction with Nate. My theory is, once she does; Hannah's nature of pleasure seeking, dominance and competitiveness becomes triggered and she is voracious. I have ideas on that, but to me, Hannah's next arc is one of jealousy (ie Sam coming back wanting to be friends) and awakening sexually to Nate.
Nate's arc has come full to acceptance, but his challenge is tied to Jess. He's in a relationship, whether he or she like it or not. I liked how with Jess, she's a little resentful/jealous of him. And why wouldn't she be? She's THE submissive and clearly in love with Hannah. But Hannah clearly loves Nate more, Nate will be far smaller than she can ever be, fulfilling both her and Hannah's fetish fantasies. For Nate's part, he's nervous and uncomfortable that this hyperintelligent girl that doesn't like him is going to be around him and much bigger than him sooner or later as well as her and Hannah having been together romantically longer than him. To me the culmination is Hannah forcing them to confront and resolve their issues and engaging in a threesome where they acknowledge one another/become closer
As for the side characters, some probably need to end their ties a little. Sam is clearly to me on the way out. She can be a source of resentment from Hannah, but that has to work its course, maybe with resolution. Kerry has real potential, with Hannah getting an idea of hooking her with one of the geeks provided she plays nice. Maybe the heavy one? Hypnosis could help him lose weight and her grow?
Anyway, those are my thoughts, hope they were helpful and great job.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate your detailed and thoughtful reviews.
I don't know exactly when the story will wrap up, but I definitely plan to cover the next few years at least.
Hannah will absolutely start to experience arousal and look to her partners for fulfilment going forward.
As for Jess and Nate, I have some plans for the next chapter. There's going to be a further reveal that will explain some things that were left out of the end of this chapter and result in a confrontation. That won't immediately resolve all the issues, but it will get things out in the open.
You've definitely given me stuff to think about, so thanks again!
P.S. I did get your e-mail from a couple of months ago, but Giantess World kept throwing an error message when I tried to reply so if you didn't get a response (or got 3 of them) that's why.