Reviewer: kenny224 Signed
Date: October 27 2021 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Hey Theresa,

I read the first few chapters, and then the last two, since you specifically recommend the second to last chapter in my story reviews.

I'm guessing you're a non native English speaker because you use a ton of words that are, let's say, pretty obscure? lol at least to a dummy like myself.  Not that it's a bad thing per se, but sometimes i feel like you use a different word then what feels most appropriate, or I have to look up what it means (which isn't actually a bad thing, but sometimes it seems like it's slight overkill)

for instance you use "squash obsession" instead of "crush obsession" 

again this isn't incorrect, per se, especially considering we are specifically talking about a fetish here, but it did take me a second to understand what you were talking about.  (I thought maybe you meant the game at first, lol)

As to the story itself, it's not bad.  I dont share many of the same "interests" as you, so but considering what i read that I'm into your descriptions are actually quite good compared to other stories I've read on the site.

You can probably tell from my own writing style what I like in terms of the macrophilia fetish and writing in it specifically, so you'll probably understand what I mean.

In any case, I think by reading and writing, you'll improve in some of these syntactical and grammar issues, especially if you are a non native English speaker, that will only come with time.

In any case, I do love the concept, especially in your last two chapters.  I can't say that i will read everything as certain fetishes are a big no no for me, but as long as the story is parsed out in a way that can separate some of these things I look forward to reading more. 

Feel free to leave a review in my story if you'd like to chat more about writing or, uhh our shared strange "eccentricities" as you might put it, not that I'm an expert in either or anything.

-kenny

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: kenny224 Signed
Date: October 08 2022 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Heya,

FYI shot you an email about my thoughts on the chapter, sorry for being not as quick to respond but c'est la vie.

Kenny

Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.  

Reviewer: kenny224 Signed
Date: March 07 2024 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 35 -- Touring the Region of the LSR (Ladies Supremacy Republic), Part Two

Hey Tess -

Obviously all my opinion based on what I enjoy, but here is some feedback.

As someone who thoroughly enjoys diving into stories that blend the imaginative with the relatable, I find your perspective is unique. The lens of her size to explore is always fun.  Of course, your character seems to be much more optimistic and hopeful which is a fun change of pace, there is a more optimistic depth and warmth. Nano Intelligent Cells (NIC) as a means to level the playing field for is a a creative way to address the physical challenges she faces, and it adds an intriguing layer to the story's universe.

Obviously the ethical implications introduced by the use of male tinies as shoe inserts by Christine are intriguing and i would enjoy if it was explored further, as well as some personal perspective of the characters feelings.  (Does she view tiny men as second class citizens as well?) . This plot point offers a rich ground for exploration, and I would love to see it explored furter.(Physical descriptions are always fun, but perhaps discussion or reflection on the moral questions it raises, as well as more visceral descriptions of the darker side of the characters?).

Additionally, the pacing of the story, while generally effective, occasionally rushes through scenes that could benefit from more detailed exploration. Slowing down at key moments to delve deeper into the characters' emotions and thoughts, descriptions of events and physical feelings, especially during the climactic volleyball game, would always be enjoyed.

In any case, good stuff. With a bit more development on the ethical dilemmas and a deeper exploration of character emotions and experiences, I believe the story would be even better.


Kenny