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Reviewer: IBP Signed [Report This]
Date: August 23 2012 12:50 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Invidia

Well the last that was heard from the author was that he had class all day tomorrow.

Maybe Danielle's new form brought him to a abrupt and somewhat bitter-sweet end?

We can only wonder.....

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: September 03 2011 1:44 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Gula

Ok I wasn't epecting this. Danielle has another form... I'm still assuming she remain gentle though. After all she has done to Niel I would find a sudden change in attitude hard to accept. I'm not exactly sure what to expect though.



Author's Response:

I'll admit, that I think it's time to shake things up a little. All I can say is keep reading. I have class all day today, so I'll try to update it tomorrow.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: September 02 2011 1:18 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Luxuria

I was really hoping you'd updated the story but it seems you've just split the intial chapter. Eh, I didn't midn reading it again. It's much improved, although the sex scene seems a bit out of place given it's in school. Surely that scene could have waited... Or at least I assume it's still at school.



Author's Response:

First, I wanna start by saying Thanks for the feedback. This is my first story after about 5 years of reading other peoples works. It's  a little rough around the edges, but I'm pleased with the feedback and I'm updating it right now. I'd intended on stopping the sex scenes there and picking it up a little later. Any suggestions or pointers you have would be kewl too. I'm still not sure if I wanna make her an antagonist or his girlfriend/bodyguard. Either way I do plan on adding more characters.

Reviewer: SafetyPin Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: August 28 2011 8:05 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Invidia

Great beginning.

Wonderful story scenario!

Looking forward to the continuation of this one.

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the encouragement. Sorry I was a little late. (I'm taking 7 classes right now, so time's very tight.) I plan on updating it sometime either today or tomorrow.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: August 27 2011 7:42 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Invidia

Well this is interesting. I really like the story but it's hard to read because oyu haven't broken up the paragraphs effectivtly and there's huge and dauting. I think a good place to take this story would be that Danielle protects Neil and is gentle towards so long as he is friendly and well basically follows are her around, obviously doing a lot of what she wants since she said she's friendly towards people she likes.

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