Date: September 02 2011 1:18 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Luxuria
I was really hoping you'd updated the story but it seems you've just split the intial chapter. Eh, I didn't midn reading it again. It's much improved, although the sex scene seems a bit out of place given it's in school. Surely that scene could have waited... Or at least I assume it's still at school.
Author's Response:
First, I wanna start by saying Thanks for the feedback. This is my first story after about 5 years of reading other peoples works. It's a little rough around the edges, but I'm pleased with the feedback and I'm updating it right now. I'd intended on stopping the sex scenes there and picking it up a little later. Any suggestions or pointers you have would be kewl too. I'm still not sure if I wanna make her an antagonist or his girlfriend/bodyguard. Either way I do plan on adding more characters.