Reviews For Luna's Ascension
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Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: October 06 2014 6:44 AM Title: Chapter 1

Ah that's fine, I always enjoy talking to other authors. I'm going to guess you're from the UK, unless you just like staying up late. 



Author's Response:

Nope, United States. I like waking up early. :)

Reviewer: chrlorez Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 06 2014 5:24 AM Title: Chapter 7

Good story, but the world confuses me a little. If there's such a small quantity of males left on Earth, how many, what happened to them all, and how do women still reproduce enough to have such a population of people to still have functioning shopping malls?



Author's Response:

Excellent questions. Your confusion is justified.

As for 'how many', we know from the story men account for "only one percent of the world's population" (or at least, that's what Ash thinks). We also know the first Ascension happened in early eighteen hundreds. Assuming a 50-50 gender division at that time, what DID happen to all the men? Obviously those alive at that time would be dead by now. So, perhaps a factor causes women to be born more frequently than men. Or perhaps something increases the mortality rate of men. Or something else. We don't know the answer yet.

We also know very little about reproduction.

Great questions. I too look forward to the answers. After all, who wouldn't want Ash and Luna to procreate? :)

 

Reviewer: MrSirk Signed [Report This]
Date: October 06 2014 5:16 AM Title: Chapter 7

A few thoughts.

1. That begining was hilarious. Does that make me a monster? It's just imagining him saying his leaving then needing her to help open the door is a riot! 

2. I didn't realize how dangerous it was for a man. I originally thought women liked him for the novelty of like "Oh look a man let's take a picture with him." Like you do with the mascots at Disney Land, but man it goes a lot deeper than that. You definetly need the x rating now.

3. Don't read books Luna! You're gonna open Pandora's box and once it's open it will never be closed again! I seriously worry about something like that harming the relationship it may be more dangerous that the increased sex drive. It changes the dynamic on a fundamental level. Even though she's taller and stronger you could at least say she was the same on the inside but not even that's entirely true. I'm rooting for you Ash!

This was a long comment but a lot yet somehow a little happened . Will try to tone it down next time. 



Author's Response:

1. Well, close the door. She dropped to her knees between the driver's side door and the car so he couldn't shut it. And no, it doesn't make you a monster. :)

2. Yeh, women can't help it. That's why there are so many laws and security rankings in this world to protect men. That's why there are Guardians.

3. It is a concern that lies at the heart of this story as described in the summary: 'can a marriage survive'. :)

Well a lot happened in terms of world building I suppose. Many things have been explained by their conversation, yet mysteries still remain.

And don't worry about toning it down, lol. I like long comments.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: October 06 2014 5:06 AM Title: Chapter 1

It's not criticism, just an observation I've made. Splinter and Fayth were for the most part, PG while here you've gone further that. I have no problems if it all comes together nicely. 



Author's Response:

Ah yes, I knew you weren't criticizing. I suppose I'm just in a talkative mood this morning. :) Thanks again.

Reviewer: angeloflife Signed [Report This]
Date: October 06 2014 12:19 AM Title: Chapter 7

My only bad thing i have with the story.

So far am not liking how perfect the women are sounding they can be healed, have perfect skin and are smarter, can burn excess fat all by having sex, also they treat males like kids as if they can think any better to be trusted with money or anything else it seems.

You can at lest not make the men not be treated like kids and say if a women has a beauty mark or a mole not this perfect skin.

When you say perfect skin what are you thinking what perfect skin is?

 

 

I do enjoy Luna's personality, she so far seems very sweet and still has her personality that she had before she change and i hope she stays like how she was before but dosen't start treating Ash like a little kid.

The dream is nice as it gives her some fear and in a way will help her stay as she is but with knowing if she dose go to far with things her dream will come true and that she might drive Ash away from her for good.



Author's Response:

Wow, excellent commentary. First, let's take a look at what the story says.

In chapter 6, Luna mentions having 'clear' skin, but Ash doesn't see any significant difference. He even speaks of pimples as a common thing in this world (we assume among Ascended women too, as they comprise 99% of the population).

In chapter 7, Luna describes herself as 'perfect' when she awakens, even though she hasn't seen herself yet. Therefore, how much of 'beauty' or 'physical perfection' is psychological?

Later, she looks in the mirror sees a lithe, toned body. She specifically thinks "the person I'd always wanted to be". Again, there appears to be a psychological factor involved here.

Anorexia is so devastating because people perceive themselves as being overweight when they are extremely thin. That's just one example, but it shows the subjectivity involved in the concept of 'beauty'.

I think a lot of people in real life don't see themselves as physically beautiful or perfect. But if they truly did, what would it look like? Probably different for different individuals. There is no empirical mandate that the model on the cover of Sports Illustrated is epitome of female beauty.

Regan mentions that healing burns 'excess fat', but what does that mean? Luna still describes Regan as 'significantly more full-figured' than herself.

Being overweight or obese isn't a cosmetic problem. These conditions can increase risk for coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc.

However, a 'healthy weight' doesn't mean 'thin' or 'skinny'. There's a range. People can fall in different areas of that 'weight spectrum' and still be healthy.

And even if someone is obese, that doesn't mean they're not beautiful. Based on Regan's words, Healing (as the name implies) increases one's health, not beauty. In fact, she mentions the primary reason people visit healers is the 'feeling' they get afterwards, not the physical effects.

We've also seen the 'older lady with gray hair' in chapter 3. Since she works in a hospital, it's likely she has access to Healing. However, that implies Healing and Ascension are not 'fountains of youth' and is yet another example that beauty (e.g., the stereotypical concept of beauty we see on pageants and fashion runways) isn't the target.

Finally, be aware that the entire story is told through the perspective of Ash or Luna (so far). Beauty and physical perfection are not objective/measurable things, but that still doesn't stop the concepts from occuring as thoughts in the minds of individuals. Luna's concept of 'clear skin' may not be the same as mine and Ash sees no difference. Again, the psychological factor; the brain is a powerful thing.

As for being 'smarter', well I could go on forever about that too. How effective are standardized tests today (IQ, SAT, ACT, etc) at measuring intelligence? Nothing we've seen so far has shown Ascended women as significantly smarter than Ash. Now if Regan's words about induced Ascension are true, that could change. After all, Luna demonstrates incredible memory (sometimes associated with intelligence). However, she still has anaive quality about her that persists into her Ascended form.

As for the treatment of males in this world, well, it's not a perfect world. Equality simply doesn't exist in many aspects of this world. Maybe Luna and Ash's relationship will be different in that respect. Earlier, she said she didn't want to be 'like Regan'. We'll see what happens.

I usually don't write this much in a reply, but you got me thinking. Thanks for the comments!

 

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: October 05 2014 8:55 PM Title: Chapter 7

 Luna is still adjusting but I don't think Ash will leave her although it is shocking to know that Ascended women have such a high sex drive, this is more X-rated than your previou two stories but you're pulling it off so no complaints there.

  I just think the real problems will come when Luna changes too much and Ash no longer sees the Luna he fell in love with. 



Author's Response:

Sex can be a beautiful thing, yet we mark it with an X-rating. To some, that rating carries all of the 'negative connotations' of 'smut', i.e., sex in a way that is 'offensive'. There's probably a lot of subjectivity involved in that statement so I won't go into it further. However, being 'offensive' isn't my goal. Not at all. I just didn't want to be confined by a rating when writing this story, given some of it's sexual themes, so X is appropriate. At the same time, not every chapter will be sexual. Whatever happens will happen and I'll just write it.

As usual, thanks for your feedback!

Reviewer: greaterthan3 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 05 2014 8:14 PM Title: Chapter 7

Poor Luna, what an awful nightmare. It's good to see she still cares deeply for her husband after ascension, im really looking forward to seeing how they interact with eachother.  She needs to get in there and cuddle him, i imagine they will be super cute together(and hopefully sexy too ;P) something like him riding on her shoulders to go get icecream.  I feel like ash will be a bit more accepting of being held when it's his wife rather than his friends.

 

Also something i've realised, Ash has probably never had a blowjob in his life, guy has that to look forward to now too lol.

 

 

I love the switches between perspectives, it really adds to their personalities and makes them feel more real.  (you did this very well in your other story i thought too)



Author's Response:

Regan says "fluids involved with sex are like contact poison." That isn't necessarily referring to saliva. I suppose I'm trying to say nothing we've seen so far indicates their relationship will have more or less oral sex than prior to Luna's Ascension.

POV switches are a little tricker in a first person story, but I still enjoy doing them and reading them. Thanks for your comments!

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: October 05 2014 6:55 PM Title: Chapter 7

Really liked this chapter! I hope Luna and Ash have plenty of good times together.



Author's Response:

Thanks, gadget!

Reviewer: MrSirk Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 04 2014 5:27 AM Title: Chapter 6

I know I should probably say something about the chapter, but now I just want to know how Lifetime works in this universe. I assume the womans the size of a bus. How? How is her husband cheating on her? I guess that's the mystery isn't it? 



Author's Response:

Lol. Well women are 10 to 13 feet tall, so not quite the size of a bus. In chapter 5, Luna sees 'mouth to mouth kissing' as the epitome of marital fidelity. Therefore, it's safe to assume French kissing another woman would be considered cheating.

As for sex, that may not have the same implications as it does in our world. While we don't know the specifics of a Healer's role in this soceity, we get the impression heterosexual sex has other uses, perhaps even outside of a monogamous relationship. Either way, that's an excellent question. If Luna and Ash would ever get outside the house again, perhaps we'd see some more answers to these questions. :)

Reviewer: greaterthan3 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 04 2014 2:24 AM Title: Chapter 6

Yay your back! Loved the newest chapter :) I can't wait to see how big she gets.  I just hope ash doesn't get forgotten in all the celebration when Regan and co. Come back.

 

 

Also please tell me this is a long story :)?



Author's Response:

Story length is always a mystery to me. Could be 15, could be 50. We'll see. :)

Reviewer: aaron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 03 2014 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 6

Really great. Now we see how big she's gotten with her ascension. Loving this story.

aaron

Author's Response:

Thanks!

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: October 03 2014 6:23 PM Title: Chapter 6

I hope Ash still loves her but somehow I just got this feeling there will be some tension, as cliched as it seems. Guess it'll depend on how long this story lasts.



Author's Response:

Hmm, perhaps. We should know more after the next chapter! :)

Reviewer: lancealot501 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 26 2014 12:10 PM Title: Chapter 1

Loving this story and all but something is confusing me. If induced Ascension is through unprotected sex then how are unascended women born? Because once ascended all of your off spring are ascended also. Hopefully this is either cleared up or I missed something.

Author's Response:

Unascended women are very rare. However, we do know a few things: The first Ascension event occurred in the early eighteen hundreds, and Luna's mother had never Ascended. So perhaps some women used in vitro fertilisation for generations. Perhaps artificial insemination, depending on the lifespan of the virus once outside of the male host. Perhaps there are some males without the virus.

We'll likely find out the answer in a future chapter. Excellent question though. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Jim1989 Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 24 2014 7:03 PM Title: Chapter 5

I find the background of this story to grow more interesting over time.  Really looking forward to whatever struggles come as ascension goes into full throttle and whatever potential drama ensues with this couple.  Love the gentle (unintended) condescension that males go through in this particular new world order.  Hope to read more soon.



Author's Response:

Thanks, Jim! You'll get even more world building as the story progresses. :)

Reviewer: MrSirk Signed [Report This]
Date: September 24 2014 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 5

x rating? Eh, I'm right on the fence it wasn't super gratuitous or anything. Maybe for the childrens? ......Also the sweetness! Make it Stop! 



Author's Response:

Well, I made it X just to be safe. As for 'children' or any other underage characters, they won't be anywhere near content as depicted in this chapter for obvious reasons. As for the sweetness, we'll you're going to have to talk to Ash and Luna about that. :)

Reviewer: clacker Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 23 2014 7:37 PM Title: Chapter 1

I'm with cloud, there are very few stories I get really like and get attached to the characters .. And this is one of them :)
( if I get a vote it would go to x)

Author's Response:

Excellent! Thanks, clacker!

Reviewer: Cloud Signed [Report This]
Date: September 23 2014 6:25 PM Title: Chapter 1

You write so quickly, it makes my heart beat with excitement everytime I see a new chapter of this story coming out. I'm glad to see you fallowed through on your promise to release a new chapter before you left on vacation, because I adore this story, and I care for the characters. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite stories, please continue writing it until there's a satisfying ending. Always know that there are those of us on the sight who lurk and enjoy more often then review and contribute. Have a fantastic vacation, good luck with the storry.



Author's Response:

I never write for the reviews, but at the same time, reviews like this encourage me to continue. It means a lot. Thanks!

Reviewer: greaterthan3 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 23 2014 3:30 PM Title: Chapter 5

I love it, please don't tell us this is the last update for a whole week!



Author's Response:

Alas, my vacation is upon me! I may get some time to write, but not likely. But a week goes by fast. :)

Thanks for being a consistent reviewer!

Reviewer: realRS Signed [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 7:50 PM Title: Chapter 1

Wow, I was really expecting Luna's ascension to happen without Ash's consent. It was very touching that they acted like rational and caring adults.

Luna's reasons for liking her smallness were delightful.

Author's Response:

Haha, thank you!

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 4

Ash will still love her but things will never be the same again, she probably will disagree with her old self when it comes to doing those things, her improved mental faculties will definitely tell her these things shouldn't be done for a reason. 

 



Author's Response:

Hmm, I hope not. I'd miss the old Luna. I share Ash's fear regarding that aspect of her Ascension.

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