Date: December 20 2014 1:27 PM Title: Chapter 1
I am really liking the different places he is ending up. The kleenex and spit jar were good ideas.
[Report This]Date: December 10 2014 4:20 AM Title: Chapter 1
Once again, you are very creative! In fact, I think you are the first one that I have seen write about a tiny man tied to a woman's tongue.
I also liked how you started with the mouth and moved down Shynia's body one body part at a time.
Wouldn't Shynia feel Tom when they kissed? I guess their tongues came into contact often in that kiss, and I think Shynia should've recognized that something was up with Emily's tongue.
So Emily is leaving Tom with Shynia? Did I hear that right? Well, that's interesting. And if Shynia is gonna use Tom as gum, Emily has to disguise him or cover him up that he looks like gum.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Very solid point about Shynia should have been able to feel Tom. I guess we'll have to chalk this up to Shynia being drunk and not realizing anything weird about the situation. Also, no, Shynia will not be using Tom as gum (cans filled with chewers spit are one of the most disgusting things on this world. Also there would be no way Shynia wouldn't notice it wasn't gum, let alone a way Tom would survive being chewed up). I guess you'll just have to wait until my next chapter to see exactly where I go with this! Thanks for the review and the constructive criticism! -Author56
Date: December 03 2014 12:57 AM Title: Chapter 1
Sorry for not clarifying this more carefully; the girl that Emily and Tom will be with will be completely unaware of shrunken Tom. I am looking for physical descriptions you'd like to see (Fat,tall,skinny,brown hair, etc.). Also if anyone shouts out a name I'll be more than willing to use that. Expect my next chapter to be out Monday.
Date: December 02 2014 10:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
Wonderfully well done! Since you ask, I'd like to see the girl possibly be an ex girlfriend or former co worker of his. You may consider this to be too coincidental, but It would be nice and humiliating for him!
As far as her personality, at least in the next chapter goes, I'd like it if she is very hesitant to use him but Emily convinces her that it's what he is there for , and the girl slowly comes around and starts to love it
Date: December 02 2014 6:40 AM Title: Chapter 1
Wonderfully well done! Since you ask, I'd like to see the girl possibly be an ex girlfriend or former co worker of his. You may consider this to be too coincidental, but It would be nice and humiliating for him!
As far as her personality, at least in the next chapter goes, I'd like it if she is very hesitant to use him but Emily convinces her that it's what he is there for , and the girl slowly comes around and starts to love it
[Report This]Date: November 25 2014 1:29 PM Title: Chapter 1
This looks like it's going to be a fun story. You have a good balance of action with a little bit of narrative progession. Keep it up!
Date: November 25 2014 10:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
you didnt hold back, she seems like she's very cruel from the end of chapter 2 and I bet it's only going to get worse. I'll be following this story to see where it goes and so far it seems like its only going to get more interesting.
Date: November 25 2014 12:02 AM Title: Chapter 1
I really like where this story is going, and it's written quite well. Keep it up!