[Report This]Date: January 12 2015 9:47 AM Title: Chapter 8. Beautiful day
This was another fantastic chapter.
I absolutely love how playful and kind Kelly is. I really liked when we could witness what was happening around her from the perspective of a few tinies. And the idea to have her react that way to some random guy taking a picture of her was genius, but to also have her pick up another tiny at random to photograph them both was even better. I just thought she would let him get some head shots, I never imagined that she would allow him to pose with her. I'm really enjoying reading about Kelly, her character was so dull in the other story but now she's very interesting. I can't wait to see what happens next with her.
As for the little scene with Lisa, I can't believe the government(or whoever they are) is treating her like this. I mean seriously why would she even want to help them or care to now? They just come to her house and kidnap(or is it nap) her, her husband and daughter. Are they doing this so they can control her? At any rate you wrote that well because now I hate those guys even more if that's possible.
I'll be honest, I was a little disappointed that Casey didn't have a bigger part but I was glad to see Darlene back(I'm hoping her and Casey had some kind of relationship before). If that's not the case I really enjoyed that scene from Darlene's perspective; about still feeling slight tremors, seeing the two feet deep depressions into the ground that are Casey's footprints and also how she's just in this zombie-like state wandering around. I liked how another inmate says "This is gonna be bad" at the end. Does that mean she can see Casey's facial expressions and assumes she is coming back or does she mean in general that this is bad for everyone? I only ask because I was a little confused if Casey already leveled Blackrock Prison or if she's just thought about it and a smirk formed on her face and she's in the process of turning around.
aaron
PS I'd like to see how Casey would react to some random guy taking a picture of her without her permission.
Again, great chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Also if it means anything, I already like this volume more than the first one. You are doing a phenomenal job with the descriptions, reactions from people and the dialogue from everybody. I also love the pacing of this story too.
Author's Response:
Once more, thanks for the very positive feedback. The biggest (and almost the only) encouragement someone like me gets when he decides to post a story here is the feedback from those who read it. If the feedback is constructive and detailed, like yours, it's even better.
Let me try to provide some insights to your comments in this post and the next one. Hopefully I'll be able to provide some answers without any major spoilers:
- One of the main changes (and I believe improvements) I tried to incorporate into Volume 2 were other viewpoints. It was the tool I tried to use to try to convey the real scale of the protagonists. It's great to hear that you liked the results :)
- Kelly is and will continue to be very playful, but she is not a bitch like Casey. After Volume 1, I also felt that Kelly had been the character that had been treated less fairly. She was also the one that was kept more open and hence it allowed for higher development. So, in the end, Kelly has ended up being the one with the most "screen time" in Volume 2.
- I wrote the scene with the picture for an unfinished story a long time ago and I always liked the idea, so I did not hesitate to incorporate it in Side Effects when I had the chance
- The Government guys are not so nice, are they? You need to take into account that they are scared like hell about what's happening with Casey and Kelly...
- Casey has already leveled Blackrock in this chapter. The "This is gonna be bad" comment is more referred to the entire world, not so much to them. Darlene's character is only in this chapter as a second viewpoint to tell us a little bit about what happened and the effects of a big Casey in a small world... It was tempting to get into the details of Casey's actions in Blackrock, but I decided to postpone action with Casey a little. As everyone will have deduced by now, Casey, who used to be a bitch, will now be much worse. Of course, this means that she is also much more destructive. Getting into the details of Casey's actions too soon had the risk of making the story stall or become too repetitive, so I decided to just imply them. Who knows, I may write a short after I finish Volume 2 with some flashbacks of what Casey did after growing..
- If anyone had taken a picture of Casey I don't think there would much left of him...
- This story will be very long, so I'm glad you are liking the pacing and that you think it's already better than the first one. Thanks again.