Rebecca has just told me a very deep, very personal memory of hers. How hard it must have been for her to dig deep and tell me all of this, and why, is completely beyond me. Just because we live under the same roof does not, in any way, mean that she has to explain her entire history to me. I am more than happy that she trusts me enough to tell me all this, but I don't like what has come of the situation, from her telling me about this. Her trust is gladly appreciated, but the fact that she's now crying her eyes out, whimpering and gasping for air as she is letting her emotions out wasn't the desired result of this conversation.

I have told her that she's safe now, and that is the truth. I'm holding her against me as tight as I can. At least, as tight as I can without thinking that I am inflicting harm upon her small body. My voice is cracking as I hold her. Her tears, her cries, her whimpers, her shivering...it's all affecting me as well. Her emotions are digging into my own, and causing me to cry, too. I pat her back as I stop rocking my body and sit back on the couch, making sure she is securely there with me. I don't know what else to do, than to just sit here, holding her and reassuring her that everything is alright.

“Trent...can I ask you something?” she asks, weakly. The fact that she's got enough willpower to still talk after sharing such a terrifying memory is beyond me. Maybe I'm just an overly emotional person, but I'm not sure that I could still talk after sharing that sort of thought with someone. I don't think I would be able to handle reliving that sort of memory and being okay to talk soon afterwards. Still, she is, and I push back some of my own tears as I muster up a response, making sure I'm able to be strong, as she is. “Of c-course. W-what's on your mind?”

“I...d-don't remember anything after that...That night led me to leave, and you're the only person I've been around, since her. I just...don't understand why...why did she do that to me? What drove her to that?” The question she poses is a very difficult one, both for her to ask and for me to answer. My hand rubs along her back, feeling her shoulder blades and that thing spine of hers as I rub along her, trying to think of how I can possibly answer that question. She wants to know why people do things like that...why they rape others, force them into sexual scenarios with them. I don't even know if I can give her an answer.

Why do people force people into those positions? Is it just because their sexual drives are so dominating and strong that they can't even control themselves? Is it a power thing, to show that they can dominate their partner, or whoever it seems to be, at the time? Or, was it some odd part of the human brain that's only present when you have a certain type of behavior and thinking, that I can't possibly comprehend, no matter how hard I try to think and contemplate it? There are so many possibilities of things it can be. What is the right answer? What's the right answer, for Rebecca?

I don't think any 'right' answer is going to come to me as I think, still rubbing over her back. The question is just too vague and, without feeling like doing those things myself, I don't think I can ever give her a true, honest answer. So, the only thing I tell her is the only thing that I know about this question, which is absolutely nothing. “I don't know, Rebecca. I don't know why people would want to do that to you, or anyone else.” There's no guarantee that Rebecca will accept this answer, but it's all I have to give to her. It's the only sort of answer that I can give her, instead of lying and saying some optimistic answer that I don't believe in.

“Why? Why don't you know?” says Rebecca, her little fingers clenching tighter onto my neck. Now I'm really starting to feel bad from this situation. She wants an answer, and I just can't give it to her. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? I need an answer, but I just don't have one! I close my eyes, another tear running down my cheek. I can't give her a fake answer, or an answer that I don't believe in. What am I supposed to say to her? I want to make her feel better, with an answer. I want to, badly! I just don't have one in me.

Not knowing what else to do, I whisper in her ear again, with the only thing running through my head. “Forgive me, Rebecca. I don't know why people do that, because I don't want to do that to others. I can't comprehend why someone would want to hurt you like that. But, please stop worrying about it. Please stop crying. All you need to know right now is that you're not living with Melissa anymore. You're living with me, and I will never do anything like that to you. I will never do anything without your permission, unless it's a matter of life-and-death.”

“Trent...I..” She speaks to me, but I don't stop with my own statements. I'm on a train of thought and part of me is opening up, speaking everything on my mind and in my gut, wanting her situation here to be the best it can be. “Whatever you need, Rebecca, I'll give to you. You've had a terrible life, and I want you to have a wonderful one. While you're here, you can do what you want, when you want, and you don't have to have any sort of responsibilities and chores. I can support supplies and food for the both of us. I just want you to have a relaxing life, from now on. It's not fair that you went through what you did, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I can make your life better and to help you move past those memories...”

If you were to ask me, I'm not sure I'd give a reason as to why I am talking about all of this with her. Maybe it's because she dug deep in her heart and mind, and offered this bad memory of hers with me. Maybe it's because of something else. I can't say, but I just spoke my mind on the matter, and told her that I would do anything to make sure her life is wonderful from now on. I feel her moving around and can feel a soft pecking on my cheek. My cheeks get red for a moment as I hear soft words from her. “Thank you. You're very sweet.”

I don't know where this will take us, but there's only one way to find out. The two of us sit together and stare off for the rest of the afternoon, until dozing off to sleep, not even bothering with lunch or dinner. We have shared a moment today, a moment that has made us closer. I think so, anyways. Only time will tell what will come next...