It's a good thing I've got a work-from-home job right now. With everything going on in my life now, with Rebecca coming into it, I can't really afford to go off to a job all day long. While I'm sure that Rebecca would be fine, for the most part, on her own, I feel like I still need to be around her to make sure she won't get hurt on anything in the house. Having spent a week with her or not, I know that there are a lot of things around the house that she can get into, that she can get hurt with. At a job, I would be too worried about her, not wanting her to get hurt while I am at work and unable to call for help.

Or maybe that's not the reason I'm glad I can stay home with her. Maybe it's something else, entirely. Today has got me thinking a lot as my fingers type away at the first document I have to send off via company email. Today has been an emotional thrill-ride of sorts, both of us having broken down, to a point, from our little conversation earlier. I still feel a lot of emotions, sitting next to her sleeping self. As I look at her and back to the computer screen, I start to think. Maybe there's something more to all of my feelings with this. Maybe it's not just fear for her safety that's making me want to be close to her. Maybe it's because I'm happy that she's in my life, that someone is in my life.

I've been alone here for a very long time. Granted, that's what I had wanted. My life at home was filled with nothing but people looking after my every move, my family doing so. Moving out was my escape from that. Living on my own and out here in the middle of nowhere gives me the privacy that I like and enjoy. However, is privacy the only thing that I want? That I had wanted before? I'm not so sure. At least, not anymore. Being around Rebecca like this, taking care of her, dealing with her attitude, talking with her. It all brings something up from deep inside me, that I didn't feel before when I was living here.

Maybe I feel lonely here, by myself. Maybe someone can feel both independent and lonely at the same time. Some of my time with being on my own is nice, because my family isn't constantly looking over my shoulder, judging everything I do. On the other hand, I don't have anyone here to spend my time with, to spend my life with. I'm just here, alone with nature and my home. With Rebecca, however, it's different. With her around, I don't really feel like people are looking over my shoulder, as I did when I lived with my family. It's a sort of company that feels different. It feels...wanted.

About 20 minutes go by and the first document of the day is finished. Thankfully, for me, I can type relatively quickly. I only have to do about a dozen documents per day, so my work day never really exceeds more than a few hours. As I get the first one saved, I take a moment to look over at her again. She's sleeping soundly and the light from my laptop is shining against her face. She looks so...calm now. There's no more red in her cheeks and everything is still, aside from a slight movement in the blankets, where her chest is rising and falling with her breathing.

Looking back to my laptop, I start typing again, thinking about what she told me earlier. What is that supposed to mean? Does this mean that we're going to get close, and should act as such, since she shared such a big secret with me? Will she expect me to act differently around her, knowing that she was hurt and raped by this Melissa person? What is going to happen next in this situation that has shown itself? I let out a sigh as I think about it, but don't seem to come up with an answer. “I guess...we'll just have to see what happens when she wakes up. I'm just not sure where to take it from here.”

That is the truth, too. I don't know where I'm supposed to take it from here. Should I just take care of Rebecca, as I have been before? Should I act differently around her, since she shared so much with me? Should I let myself be more forward with her and become more affectionate or emotional towards her? All of these questions don't have answers. Not without her, at least. I keep asking myself these things, knowing that to find an answer, I need to see more actions out of Rebecca. I should wait and see how Rebecca acts to find out or at least try to guess what she wants from this.

I'm just some guy who lives out in the middle of nowhere and wants to help take care of her. She's the one who has been traumatized by some crazy lady who raped her and made her be a little personal servant. She's been through a lot in life. I haven't. Is it really my call on how this goes? Should I not be looking more to what's best for her? I'm starting to feel like that is exactly what I should be doing. I should try to figure out what's best for her, and act on that feeling. I admit, it's nice to have the little lady around. My hand comes over to her head, my fingertips softly brushing over her hair. I smile as I look at her. So calm. So...pretty.

Pretty? I think to myself on the matter, but for a second. Yes, she does look pretty, doesn't she? Even though she's short and small, her face is pale, and she looks cute and pretty to me. I let a smile come across my face as my laptop's light dims out from not being used. My hand is still on her head, my eyes stuck to her face. I guess I just never stopped to look at her for her own, personal beauty before. I was always thinking about what to do for her, how to take care of her, what she wants. I never stopped to look at her, as a woman.

The smile keeps up in my head, but a chill runs through my arm as her lips begin to move, signaling that she wasn't asleep anymore. “We can start 'taking things from here' by wondering how long you're planning on letting your hand touch my hair.” My entire body twitches and my hand retracts at the sign that not only is Rebecca awake, but she was awake to hear me talking to myself. The laptop falls off my legs and taps against the floor and I bring my shaking hand to my side. “S-Sorry. I didn't know you were awake.”

Rebecca takes a moment to pick herself up and look at me. Her face is mostly darkened from the lack of light in the room, but I can tell she's look right at me as she speaks. “I know you didn't. That's why I didn't let you know until now. I've been awake this entire time. I wanted to...see something about you.”