Last night was special for me. Not only did I get a chance to play games, one of my favorite hobbies, with Rebecca, but that moment when we were sleeping was wonderful. Waking up, only to find the little lady I worry about right there, hugging against me as she slept made me feel great. A lot of emotions arose yesterday that surround her, and that only added to it. Nervousness, fear, and now happiness. I think my life is starting to change. At least, that's what I feel like, anyways. As if it hasn't changed enough already, it's like I'm starting to get a little more attached to Rebecca. I woke up this morning and she was off in another room. I felt my little bouts of neediness until she came back. It's like she's an irremovable part of my life now.

I sit in that same spot right now, as I did last night. She's in the bathroom again, washing up and getting dressed. I had offered to help her get dressed and said that she didn't have to lock herself in the bedroom to do so, but she didn't go for that. “Nakey Rebecca is not something you're allowed to see yet!” is, I think, what she said. I smile at the nickname she gave herself. I understand that she doesn't want me to see her naked. I really do, though we are getting closer. The fact that she wanted to sleep with me last night meant something. I know she's capable of getting herself in her bed, yet she chose to curl up and hold onto me. That's got to mean something.

The rustling in the bathroom is followed by a yelp and then a soft thud. I turn my head and resist my urge to just go in the door and see if she's okay. If she's hurt, I'm sure it'll be alright for me to go in, but if she's not, I'll probably get a foot to the face or knee or some other part where it would hurt. Instead, I call in. “Rebecca? Is everything okay in there?” It's not much, I know, and it's not what I want to do for a person I am starting to get some strong affection for, but just because I feel a lot doesn't mean that I should drown her in that affection.

“I...I'm fine! Don't come in or anything! I'm still not dressed! Don't worry about me!” Her voice comes through pretty well, despite her size. I don't hear any more thuds going on, which is good. My head turns back and I look at the wall in front of me. Just like any morning, I'm a little emotional. The only thing on my mind is her, however. From the moment I woke this morning, all I've wanted to do is be around her. I can't tell her how much I want to be close, though, can I? I mean, I'm sure she'd enjoy the attention and the fact that I appreciate having her around, but I don't want to drown her in my affection.

That seems like a problem for me. It's causing a bit of conflict in my head as I wait for her to get dressed. I have a lot of feelings inside, and she's the only person I really interact with or have contact with. Feelings aren't meant to be bottled up. That's how people get them to build up and they explode in emotional spasms or breakdowns. The only problem is...how can I let all of these emotions out without overwhelming Rebecca with affection. She wants to do a lot on her own, and I want to take care of her. I can't just take care of her, on my own. Yesterday showed how she hates it when I do things with her without asking if it's alright.

The only choice left is to experiment for awhile. I should just try throwing out some affection, keeping some in. Maybe I can be more emotional at some points, to see how she reacts to it. I know she's a very affectionate person, deep down, so there's some place for my affection to reach, for sure. It's just how much that I'm worried about. I don't want to overwhelm her, as I've thought recently. Finding that balance is the important thing right now. Today should be my first test for that. Yep! As soon as she comes out of that bathroom, clothes on, I'll start showing her some of my affection and seeing what happens.

As if answering my call, the door immediately opens. I turn my head towards the door, but before I can move, a little, bare foot comes onto my leg. Rebecca puts it on top of my leg, near my thigh, and puts her hands on it, looking up at me. She has this strange, serious look on her face. What's she up to? Her eyes are squinting as well. I'm sure what she's doing. “I know what you're thinking!” she says, all of a sudden. Her eyes stare at me, like she were trying to intimidate me. I'm not sure what's going on, though. “You're thinking that you want to go down and make breakfast for little, old me! You're thinking that since I'm so teensy, you can make breakfast for me. Well, it's not gonna happen! You know why?!”

Now things are even weirder. Is she trying to tell me I'm not allowed to make her breakfast? I raise my eyebrow to her and wonder. I see her breathe in as soon as I want to talk, but I shut myself up. Even if I were to say something, I know that she'll just interrupt me. My eyes go down to that foot that's balanced on my leg and back to her. “It's not gonna happen because you're gonna let me help you! You're going to get something for me to stand on, understand? We're going downstairs, right now, and you're going to let me do most of it! You're teaching me how to cook. Sound okay? Good!”

She is so assertive today. She must really want to help with the cooking. Before I can even respond, she is off my leg and wraps her arms around my ankle, yanking at my socked foot. My body fidgets, slightly, as she yells at me. “Oof...you're too heavy! Get up and moving! I'm ready and dressed! You're the big one here. Let's go get a stool or something and I'll make you breakfast, for once!” Every day is a different, unique adventure...