I unfastened my harness, hopped down to the floor mat, and tugged at the interior handle. It moved freely without unlatching the door.

“Child safety locks.” Luna wrapped her arms around me from behind. “Just wait for them to open it.”

“What are they doing out there?” Instead of freeing us from our confines, Regan and Addison had opened the trunk and circled around back. Thunks could be heard from their rummaging.

“Aren’t you excited?” she asked.

I inhaled, taking in the vanilla scent of her perfume. “I’m excited to be here with you. We don’t get out enough.” I turned around and hugged her properly, her cheek against my shoulder.

“Exactly.” She pulled away and met my eyes. “Just remember, they didn’t have to take us. So if they ask us to do something, we should listen. They’re only trying to protect us.”

“I’ll protect you.”

She smiled. As I leaned in to kiss her irresistible lips, the door opened behind me.

“Alright, you two,” Regan said. “Time to get in the carriers.”

“Wait, what?” Before I could turn around, Regan’s hands lifted me into the air by the armpits. She deposited me into a cloth seat contraption strapped onto Addison’s back. “What the hell?”

“Wow, can I ride in one too?” my wife asked. She loved to be carried, though why, I had no idea.

“Yes.” Addison knelt, a descent like a high-speed elevator. “Turn around and stick your arms out.”

After Luna complied, Addison lifted her from the car and placed her into a similar device on Regan’s back. The black backpack had a white label in the middle: BabyBjörn.

“I’m not riding in a baby carrier.” I considered using Addison’s shoulders to pull myself out, but rejected the notion. I feared Addison and Regan knew it — probably the reason she placed me on Addison’s back.

“Ash, these have nearly the same design as man carriers, but they’re a lot cheaper.” Regan said. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed.” It was, after all, a step up from riding in a stroller — another common male transportation mechanism. “But, I can barely see over her shoulder. I’d rather not stare at her back the entire time.”

“I can fix that.” Regan adjusted the straps, raising my eye level an inch or two. “Is that better?”

“Yes, but I still don’t understand why we need these.”

“You’ve already forgotten about last weekend?” Regan walked toward the mall and Addison kept pace, a fluid motion, as if I were riding a lioness, or some other powerful feline creature.

“You mean the hiking trail you didn’t tell us was twenty miles long?” I asked. We’d been forced to jog to keep up with them for the first seven miles. Luna couldn’t continue, and frankly, neither could I. They had to carry us piggyback the rest of the way; otherwise, we never would have finished before sunset.

“You do want to go hiking again, don’t you?” Before I could answer, she continued. “We wanted to test these out. You’re both very light, but this is considerably more comfortable for everyone involved. Don’t worry, we’ll let you down once we get to where we’re going.”

“Oh...ok.” She’d anticipated my arguments, disarming them before they could detonate. I paused, then mumbled, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She wore a tight-lipped smile, clearly enjoying herself.

“Ash.” Riding at the same height as me, Luna stretched her arm in my direction, a playful glint in her good eye. Amused, I reached out, touched, and locked fingertips, as if saving her from being sucked into deep space through an open escape hatch. In any situation, she highlighted the positives with contagious joy.

As we approached the mall entrance, passers-by cast inquisitive glances in our direction, our antics distinguishing us from the typical toddler. I didn’t care; the nosy amazons could stare all they wanted.

Regan sped up, a subtle yet effective ploy to separate our hands. An orange and white arch loomed ahead, white letters spelling West Ridge Mall. It was the largest mall in Topeka, and Regan’s preferred place to shop.

The phrase ‘clothes shopping’ meant finding clothes for Regan. Addison rarely purchased anything new, and Luna’s outfits had to be special ordered through the internet.

So why make an ordeal out of it?

My wife described it as a bonding experience; she enjoyed watching Regan try on new clothing — a concept that I never understood and chalked up to yet another mysterious aspect of women.

Once inside the building, we zoomed past busy kiosks and bustling stores, making a beeline toward Regan’s favorite: Secret of the Goddess. I groaned as the lingerie outlet came into view. Women in various stages of undress, some completely naked, were visible through the windows.

Where was the ‘secret’ in that? What would it have been like to live in the eighteen hundreds, when women wore clothing for modesty rather than fashion?

“Can we get down now?” I asked as we entered the store. A middle-aged woman in a lace bra and red panties turned when she heard my voice. Upon recognizing me as a male, she winked and swooped mid-length hair over a shoulder.

“Regan!” A fully clothed woman with an overly-sweet voice blocked our path. She was the store manager, nearly a foot taller than Regan, and I couldn’t stand her.

“Harley, it’s good to see you.” They embraced, and Harley’s eyes shifted to meet mine.

“You should have told me you’d bring your friends today.” Harley released Regan and ruffled my hair. “I would have charged admission.”

Joking or not, the presence of either my wife or I tended to attract people like a magnet, and together, we might as well have been celebrities. Already, women from around the store whispered and pointed, some giggling and others flushed with excitement.

“Mind if I help Ash down?” Harley asked.

I didn’t want her help. “Um —”

“Oh, go right ahead,” Regan said.

Harley lifted me out of the seat, then turned me around so that we faced each other. Of course, instead of setting me on the ground, she hugged me to her chest and gushed. “You’re so cute. I wish Luna would let me take you home for a night.”

Luna laughed as Addison helped her out of the carrier. My wife had never shown an ounce of jealousy, not even when I’d been drafted as a Healer for a week. She knew how much I loved her.

“At the very least, you should drop by here more often. Both of you.” She freed my face from her cleavage, and I could finally smell something other than the overpowering scent of her cherry blossom perfume.

“You don’t exactly have clothing in my size here,” I said in a dry tone.

She shifted me onto her hip, showing no intention of releasing me. “Business always picks up for a few days after you two visit. It’s incredible.”

I rolled my eyes. My wife, positioned in a similar fashion on Addison’s hip, smiled knowingly at me. She didn’t mind the attention, but she understood I preferred a bit more independence.

“I’d really like to get down now,” I said.

“How about this”—Harley’s hand squeezed the underside of my right thigh—“you let me carry you around for a few minutes and I’ll give you and your wife some money for ice cream.”

“Five minutes.” I had money of my own; Regan graciously allowed me to keep some of what I earned. But Regan never bought ice cream for us, and Harley wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

She countered. “Ten.”

“Ok, ten minutes, starting now.”

“Oh, thank you Ash.” She squeezed again, a common event. People couldn’t believe how small we were, and took every opportunity to touch, squeeze, caress, and cuddle.

Whatever. In ten minutes, I’d be eating Rocky Road with my wife.

***

“Kelly, I think we should move you up to a C cup.” Harley spoke to a young brunette whose breasts overflowed a bit on the sides. We stood outside the dressing rooms, surrounded by a semicircle of customers waiting for a turn to be judged.

“What about the color?” Kelly’s gaze fixed on me as if my opinion were an edict from the Fashion Police High Council — an imaginary committee, one that handled these inane questions, freeing men from the job.

“I don’t know,” Harley said. “Ash, what do you think?”

“I think it’s been ten minutes.” I wanted to claw my eyes out. Women didn’t understand; I couldn’t care less what they wore. They could be naked, dressed in fancy clothes, or wearing a trench coat — I only cared about my wife.

Crestfallen, Kelly’s hopeful expression faltered.

“Ash.” Harley chided.

Guilty, I scratched the back of my head, and examined Kelly. All women who could afford periodic Healing were attractive, and Kelly was no different. She wouldn’t be in this store otherwise.

“You’ve got pretty eyes, so I’d go with the blue one.” I pointed to the bra in her right hand. “It matches, and brings out their color.”

The other women erupted into a chorus of exclamations: “Aww” and “Oh, how sweet” and “Do me next”. On the verge of tears, Kelly stuttered “thank you” as if she’d won the lottery. Women dressed to impress other women, to encourage compliments from their peers, but a man’s words had a greater impact when it came to beauty.

It wasn’t fair. Most women rarely encountered men, and many never found satisfaction with a homosexual lifestyle. By law, all men wed before the age of twenty-five. The majority tied the knot on their eighteenth birthday, and once married, they rarely appeared in public outside of their jobs.

But, I couldn’t change any of that.

Determined to free myself from the growing throng of spectators, I made a speech. “Listen you’re all very beautiful. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to spend with everyone. Harley promised my wife and I could get some ice cream, and I’d like to spend some time alone with her. We’re newlyweds and we’re in love.”

Several women placed their hands over their hearts, nodding in agreement. Usually, when I explained myself honestly and openly, people expressed empathy rather than jealousy.

Harley squeezed my butt before standing me on the floor. She knelt and handed me a ten-dollar bill. “Here you go, Ash. Don’t eat too much and get sick.”

I took the money, and turned around to face a wall of bare legs. All faces stared down at me.

“Alright, ladies. Stand aside.” Harley ruffled my hair as she stood.

An opening formed in the sea of legs, but as I walked through, many of the more daring women touched my hair and face. They didn’t hurt me, so I didn’t mind. Perhaps some had never touched a man.

If it brought them a little happiness, I’d put up with it.

***

“Please.” I tugged on Regan’s shorts as she perused a selection of camisoles. “Harley already gave me the money.”

“No, Ash.” She didn’t even look at me. “We’ll go together in a little while.”

I sighed and squeezed my wife’s hand. At least Addison had set Luna on the ground.

“We’ll come right back.” Luna chimed in, a delightful surprise. She rarely took my side when it came to arguments with Guardians, mostly due to apprehension. She feared conflict, and knew I’d never get mad at her for any significant length of time. Plus, she made up for it at night, not that she needed to, but I didn’t mind.

Regan took immediate notice and knelt before Luna. “You don’t want to watch me try on lingerie?”

“I do, but we won’t be gone long. You can show me what I missed once we get back home.”

Regan considered the proposition. “I can’t just let you two go without —”

“The mall has security cameras everywhere,” I said. “No one’s going to kidnap us. Besides, you can almost see the food court from the store window. It would mean a lot if we could spend a few minutes together...pretending to be normal.”

Regan’s eyes jumped to Addison, then back to me. “Ok. Fifteen minutes. If you’re not back by then, I will not be happy.”

“Thank you!” I grinned from ear to ear, and my wife hugged Regan around the neck.

Then, we were moving, my wife and I, hand in hand. For the first time in our lives, we would explore the mall together, as a couple.

We walked between the clothing racks, picking up speed and dodging around customers.

“Addison?” I asked.

Luna cast a surreptitious glance over her shoulder. “Yup. A few aisles back.”

“As soon as we clear the entrance. Got it?”

Her giggle served as her acknowledgement.

We passed the security scanners, stepped onto the tile floor of the main walkway, and took a sharp left. After a few more steps, as soon as we reached the window display, we ran.

The widest of smiles decorated our faces — we were free.