“Jesus Christ, Josh! Are you drunk?” Annie accused, her wavering voice drowned out by the waves of the shouting crowd. Josh only shook his head in denial, but it didn’t take long once Annie got a closer look to notice the glossy, bloodshot look in Josh’s eyes and his messily prepared band uniform. She brought her gloved hand to her forehead, brushing away the messy blonde hair from her forehead. “You’re fucking eighteen, man!” Annie shoved Josh roughly, forcing him to stumble backwards and fall to the ground.

“I know,” he recited.

“Come on. I’m taking you home.” Annie said, keeping her anger in check. She picked up the boy and had his arm over her shoulder, dragging him off to the tense band director on the sideline. She waited awhile, hoping the team made a good play to raise his mood even a little. “Hey Calhoun?”

“Yeah?” the teacher asked, his tone making it clear that he was not in the mood to be bothered.

“Josh’s not feeling well, and I’m kind of his ride,” Annie paused, “so…”

“You know halftime’s coming up, right?” Calhoun asked, referring to the band show that every band member knew no one watched in the first place. "It's probably going to be your last game."

"I know," Annie said through grit teeth. “Trust me I don’t want to be leaving either.” She jerked the boy's right arm back onto her shoulder in an attempt to keep him stable. Calhoun simply nodded and waved the girl off, turning his attention back at the game, watching the team’s defense try to provide damage control to the interception.

Annie dragged the staggering Josh away from the home side of the field. The two were bombarded by impolite jeers and jokes from the visiting crowd. The drunken calls from the opposing fans didn’t help her mood as she was reminded of the state Josh was in. Annie kept her head down, covering her eyes with her hat.  She bit her lip, biting back screams and protests against the hollering crowd, remembering her teacher’s overstated professionalism speeches.

After stumbling through the verbal gauntlet, Annie graciously welcomed the overall silence in the parking lot compared to the rowdiness of the game. There was a soft buzz of the electricity in the distance, and the bright lights shone in their eyes as their slow steps began to feel coordinated.

Ambling at a painfully slow pace, Annie managed to get Josh to her car, which she affectionately referred to as a deathtrap on a good day. Popping open the truck, Annie began to remove her tight, clingy uniform, shedding the cobalt jacket, ridding herself of the scratchy black and silver sequins and the pitch black overalls. She winced a little as her skin held contact with the chilly November air.

Annie began to help Josh do the same, holding him close to her as she rather forcefully removed his jacket in a platonic, disappointed way. She bit her lip, remembering her attraction to her friend, but she quickly dismissed her thoughts as she remembered why she was in this situation.

As his jacket came off, a somewhat large flask hit the ground with a noticeable clank, catching Annie’s attention immediately as she dropped down to get it. The girl looked at the bottle with horror and disgust as it registered fully into her mind. She took a quick smell of the inside and immediately recoiled by the powerful odor, scrunching her face in an indignant manner.

“Is this what you want?” Annie asked, keeping no control in her voice or tone. “To end up like you piece of shit dad?” Josh only looked down once she referenced his negligent father and his drinking problem. Burning hot tears lined Annie's eyes as she swallowed back her anger, trying to keep a level head.

There was an odd tension to Josh’s quiet and unreceptive demeanor, but Annie couldn’t tell whether or not it was shame or the alcohol that kept him silent. Neither spoke as Josh, although inebriated could tell that Annie was fuming at this point.

The teenage girl helped her friend into the tiny car, fastening his seat belt before climbing in her own side. Starting the car, she looked over at the boy. His face was stoic, and his eyes seemed fixated out the window. Josh’s breaths were strained and slow and were the only signs of life that came from him. He watched the scoreboard in the distance slowly count down as the bright red numbers ticked to zero.

The car started with a disruptive groan, and the radio came on with a light static accompanied with a gentle melody. Annie held a look of frustration on her face, waiting till they reached Josh’s house before she could chew him out on his stupidity. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and began to feel her teal painted nails to dig into the already decaying wheel. They sat in silence as Annie steered the car down the streets and quickly found themselves in front of Josh’s house.

The obnoxious engine slowly died down as the teenagers were reacquainted with the surreal sound of silence.

Without warning, Josh let out a tiny unnoticeable whimper, which became a groan, and quickly evolved into throaty sobs as he buried himself into the shoulder of his best friend, who was completely caught off guard by the sudden breakdown. Annie’s brown eyes widened in surprise as she quickly set aside her anger. She looked down at her crying friend as she helped him lie down in the car, his head resting on her thighs. The blonde slowly brought her fingers through his chestnut brown hair, hoping it would calm Josh.

“Everything’s all right,” she consoled, not knowing what to say or do. Before she never even knew her friend drank, but she quickly assumed her friend was an emotional drunk. Annie let him cry, doing nothing other than stroking his hair and simply being there for him. She let the cold drops of tears hit her legs as she tried her best to be as considerate and comforting as possible. Her thoughts were immediately debunked as Josh began to mumble.

“I fucked up,” he admitted in a low tone. “I’m sorry.” He buried his face into her lap, finding comfort in Annie’s words. “I fucked up,” he repeated.

“No, Josh, no,” was all she was able to say. “We left before you got caught.”

“It’s not that,” he sobbed quietly, trailing off slightly. He was clearly flustered about something, but he didn’t seem comfortably saying so. He kept on muttering the same three words after that in between chokes and sobs.

Annie only nodded, feeling he didn’t owe her an explanation, although her burning curiosity wanted to know. She simply kept running his short, soft hair through her fingers. “You don’t have to tell me anything, if you’re not comfortable.” Josh didn’t reply.

The two stayed silent as Josh’s cries faded away to nothingness. Annie sure as hell wasn’t prepared to console a broken friend, but she tried her best to help him anyway she could. She looked down at the boy in her lap and said, “let’s get you inside.” She helped the stumbling boy out from the car, holding him a she directed him across the walkway, muttering soft words of comfort as they reached the door. Annie knocked against the front door before asking, ”is your dad home?”

“No,” he answered bluntly. Annie found it hard to figure out whether or not Josh was grateful his deadbeat resentful father wasn’t home. “Prolly gettin’ shitfaced.” Annie sighed at the irony of that statement. Josh dug into his short’s pockets, awkwardly fumbling with his keys as he quickly grew frustrated and handed off the keys to Annie.

Letting herself in, Annie ushered the boy into Josh’s uncharacteristically well kept room, and Josh flopped tiredly on the bed sheets. Annie sat next to him, resting her hand on his side as she waited for his breaths to become slow and relaxed.

Just before Annie was going to leave him alone, she spotted a rather large glass bottle on his dresser. She frowned and let out sigh of discontent, eyeing the golden brown liquid that was within arm’s reach. She quickly remembered seeing the bottle locked away in Josh’s father’s liquor cabinet, which was literally a padlocked pantry.

“I mean the glass is right there,” Annie mused to herself looking over the alcohol with a joking glare, diffusing her own discomfort. “I still don’t know why people drink.”

Annie quickly grabbed the bottle, letting the self righteous thought settle in her head as she planned to throw the bottles into her death trap to never see the light of day. She lunged a bit too roughly knocking over a stick of deodorant, some cologne bottles, and most notably a tiny unsealed envelope hidden under the bottle.

Letting the curiosity get to her, Annie looked over the envelope, surveying the strangely legible writing that read To Whom It May Concern.

“I guess that’s me,” she chided to herself, hoping to dilute the growing tension as thousands of anxious thoughts entered her mind. She looked over at the sleeping boy, double checking to see if he was still unconscious.

She clutched the envelope to her chest, which tightened with every step she took. She stopped just outside of his room and slumped down against the now closed door. Her heart raced as she fought back tears praying to anyone who would listen that the letter wasn’t what she thought it was. Annie had her suspicions about Josh recently, noticing his lack of drive, and one day out of the blue he shows up drunk at a high school football game. It’s not like him, she thought to herself.

She slowly opened the envelope and looked at the writing, reading through the letter and growing more and more worried by the word. It only took her a sentence to realize the letter's purpose.

It was a suicide note.

"Alright, Annie. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak the fuck out, Annie." Her voice quivered as she fought back tears as her words sped up. Her attempts to calm herself were completely in vain as she tried to cope with the brutal reality. "Calm down. You can do something about this. You just need to be smart about it."

Her mind was numb, unable to process the information all at once. Questions rose, ranging from how long has Josh been suffering, how did she not figure it out sooner, why wasn’t she there for him. Annie profusely blamed herself, cursing violently, which was usually something she never done unless something really bothered her.

Annie quickly found herself frantically pacing around Josh’s tiny house, listing all the possible things someone could off them self with. She scoured the house, raiding medicine cabinets, taking knives, and even cleansing the house of any alcohol to keep her drunken friend sober.

The tears were now free falling from her face as her rushed attempts to keep her friend from killing himself seemed insurmountable. She was a broken, bawling mess as she dumped whatever she deemed contraband into the trunk of her car. Her eyeliner ran as her tears dripped into the plastic bags full of bottles, knives and an abundance of painkillers.

The girl was on her knees, her head resting on the back bumper of the two door car. She knew her solution was only temporary, fully acknowledging she couldn’t possibly keep her best friend at her side at all times and that Josh would eventually find another way to take his life. She begged a higher power to give her an answer but she kept drawing blanks.

Her mind froze as a single idea manifested itself. It was farfetched and probably a joke, but it didn’t hurt to try. She dug her hands into the trunk, accidentally pricking herself on a stray knife, but she didn’t mind as she finally pulled out her band uniform’s overalls. Annie reached into the inside breast pocket and pulled out a tiny vial of crystal clear liquid. She flicked the side of the vial with her neatly manicured fingers, making sure every drop was collected at the bottom.

She couldn’t stop herself from running to Josh’s side, slowing down rather abruptly before reaching his room, somewhat regaining her composure. Her breaths steadied, but the tears still fell. The girl made sure her steps were silent, not wanting to wake the now heavily sleeping boy.

Annie sat on the bed right next to Josh, unscrewing the vial’s lid and dropping the liquid into his open mouth. She carefully emptied it on his chest, making sure she didn’t get any on herself not knowing exactly how to apply the serum. Annie sat by his side, waiting for at least a half-hour where nothing had happened.

“Annie?” Josh’s voice called weakly, breaking the silence. 
“Yeah?” Annie asked, her heart rushing.

“I…I… I’m sorry.” Josh apologized, “I’m sorry.” Annie only nodded, looking at the boy who faced the wall. “I fucked up.”

“It’s okay,” she said in a hushed breath. She hoped she was right that Josh hadn’t done anything drastic just yet, almost forgetting that she did so herself.

“I love you,” he mumbled. Annie’s heart fluttered in surprise, not sure if she could genuinely accept the comment.

“I love you too,” she answered back gently. Josh seemed to smile a little as he fell back asleep after a quiet few minutes.

Annie laid down on the bed right next to him, humming softly to pass the time. She attentively looked over the sleeping boy, studying his every move with anticipation and anxiety. His light snores seemed to be the only indication that he was still alive.

Annie began to lull as it was well into the night, but she actively refused to let Josh out of her sight while he needed help. She played around on her phone, hoping the artificial brightness would keep her awake. She texted her mom, saying she was staying the night at a friend’s and quickly lost track of time. Sure it was a lie, but she felt Josh needed someone at his side.

Josh began to lurch, having a loud coughing fit with uncomfortable, wheeze. He rolled around slightly on the bed, grabbing wildly against the now ruffled comforter. Annie’s eyes began to bulge as she looked at Josh’s thrashing form, noticing his body begin to contort and get smaller. She gasped in both shock and astonishment, watching his body dwindle to an impossible size.

His body reduced from a solid six feet to a mere inch or so right before Annie’s eyes.  She bit her lip, finding it hard to believe that Josh was actually shrinking. She leaned over to the tiny boy, cradling him in her palms. She promised herself that she would watch over Josh until his mental health had recovered, fully acknowledging it was a rash decision, but it was for Josh’s own good.

At least she’d like to think it was.