Visits

“Kevin!” Joe said cheerfully as he opened the door and saw his old friend from High School. He did not say anything, but the truth was that time had not treated Kevin too well. While Joe was still in a very good shape, Kevin’s belly could clearly be noticed under his shirt. The fact that his hair was clearing did not help either. The truth was that he looked much older than 25 and that it was hard to believe that they had played football together in High School

Kevin smiled and shook Joe’s hands, but he had the same gloomy mood he had displayed the other couple of times Joe had seen him since the events in Henford. No one that had met Kevin over the last few years would have believed that he used to be one of the funniest boys in High School.

It was a courtesy visit and Kevin was sticking quite a lot to the protocol. He had come to town for a book signing event and he had felt compelled to visit his old friends to see their baby. There were a few moments of small talk, the usual compliments to the baby and the mother and then a few vague references to how he had been over the last couple of years. He started his farewell when Lisa insisted that he should stay for lunch. He really did not want to, but he could not find a good enough excuse, so he ended up staying.

“So, you’re here for some book signing and reading” Lisa asked, as she got out of the kitchen with a large plate of vegetables and set it on the table. Stella was sleeping right across the dining room.

“Yes” Kevin replied dryly

“Your first book?” she asked

“It’s the only one that is published” Kevin said again. Then, he felt compelled to add: “My second book is coming out by the end of the year, so my agent wants me to keep a public profile for a while”

“You know, I would have never imagined that you would end up writing” Joe said cheerfully. Kevin had been one of the best football players at High School, but he had never been a bright student and he had not gone to college.

“Neither did I. I had never tried to write anything before” he said and he stopped himself before going ahead.

“Before what happened” Joe completed the sentence

“Yes” Kevin acknowledged, his eyes down

Joe wanted to say something, but he couldn’t find the right words. Without looking up, Kevin started to talk.

“I felt the urge to start writing. It did not have anything to do with what had happened, but I felt that I should write something. It took me three years to finish my first story. I would not have even dreamed of publishing it, until my mother read a fragment and sent a copy to my aunt, without letting me know. Her husband teaches literature in Carlson’s Community College. He loved it, called to tell me that and that he knew an agent, should I be interested. My mother insisted, I sent a copy to the agent to make her shut up… and here I am” Kevin said

“You were a New York Times best seller, Kevin” Lisa said

“Yes, my style is simple but effective, they said as well. Apparently, I’m a master on describing the true human nature”

“I read your book” Lisa went on. “And you are. When one reads about Stuart Black it is impossible not to feel like him”

“I’ve been taking lessons on writing now. My second book should be much better” Kevin said

“So, things are going well” Joe said, trying to cheer the conversation up a little

“I guess you could say so. I haven’t tried to kill myself for a while” Kevin finally let go

There was an icy silence in the table. It was evident to both Joe and Lisa that what Kevin had said was true.

He let out a hysterical laugh and went on:

“My therapist says that I’m doing much better, but you know what? I don’t feel like that”

“Come on, Kevin, it was a long time ago… “Joe said

“She raped me!” Kevin yelled, losing control. Lisa turned to have a quick look at Stella, to check that she was still sleeping. Kevin went on: “She raped the whole of me, for God’s sake!”

Keeping his tone low, Joe said:

“We have all moved on since then. Why can’t you?”

Kevin then started sobbing.

“You don’t get it. You cannot imagine what it was like. I realized what I was: I was nothing. And it’s very hard to live well when you know deep inside what you are”

“Look, Kevin, none of us is feeling this way but you…” Joe said

“That is because you were not in her fucking cunt!”

Kevin calmed down after a while, but the situation had already become too uncomfortable. Shortly before finishing lunch, Joe was with him at the door, saying goodbye.

“I’m sorry” Kevin said. “I had not had one of these for a while, now”

“No worries, Kevin. We understand”

“I hope that Stella did not get scared”

“She is fine, don’t worry” Joe said. Finally, Kevin turned and walked to the rental car.

Casey got into the visits room and walked to cabin number 8, as the guard told her. She had no idea on who the hell could be visiting her. She had not had a visit in years. When she got to her destination and saw who was waiting on the other side of the glass, she laughed out loud. Realizing that the woman on the other side could not hear her, she sat and picked the phone up. Her visitor was already holding hers next to her ear.

“For God’s sake. It’s fucking Kelly Hanson!” she said

“I’m also glad to see you, Casey” Kelly said in a soft tone

“How long has it been? Wait, don’t tell me. 6 fucking years!” Casey said, her tone more serious now

“Yes, it’s been a while” Kelly said in a flat voice

“So, what brings you here?” Casey asked

“I was in the neighborhood” Kelly replied, shrugging.

“You look hot!” Casey they said

“Sorry, I don’t date inmates” was Kelly’s only reply

“Who has talked about dating? I was only talking about sex” Casey said, winking

“So, is life in prison so hard?”

“Oh, not at all. I’m kind of in charge around these parts” Casey said casually

“So I heard. I came yesterday, as a matter of fact, but I was told that you were in isolation” Kelly stated

“Some bitch accused me of something”

“So you sent her to hospital” Kelly added

“So I heard today, when they took me out. I didn’t think I had hit her so hard, honestly”

“Yeah, you were never too good at judging the consequences of your actions” Kelly said, shrugging

“Neither were you” Casey said

“What do you mean?” Kelly asked, surprised

“Well, look at us: I’ve been locked in this shithole for 6 years and you’ll forgive me being direct, but it doesn’t look as if you’re doing too well either” Casey said

Kelly felt a stab in her stomach, but tried to go on as if nothing:

“How could you possibly know that?”

“To start with, your clothes are both slutty and cheap. But mostly, I could tell by the fact that you came all the way down here to visit” Casey said

Kelly shrugged, as if she did not understand.

“After 6 years, the only reason that can have brought you here is that you cannot keep what happened out of your head” Casey said

“Why shouldn’t I think about it? It was intense” Kelly said

“It was. Well, at least for me. I guess it was not so funny back in the factory all day” Casey said, smirking

Kelly rolled her eyes and Casey went on:

“Have you thought on what would have happened if you had used your size more?”

Kelly shrugged.

“Honestly, you wasted your time. I never understood why you did. I mean, I was not expecting too much from the blonde bimbo, but you? I thought you were different”

“Well, I could have done more. And then again, I could have ended up in jail, like you” Kelly tried to defend herself.

“You really fucked it up, Kelly” Casey said

Kelly’s expression got more serious:

“We could not stay at that size forever. I saw it and you rejected to understand it. Period”

“You are wrong there, Kelly. We could have stayed that size all the fucking time we would have wanted to. You did not realize about it, but I did. We were not just overgrown girls, Kelly. We were goddesses. You did not experience it, but you have to believe me, we were. It was very clear to me the day I visited town. I could do just anything I pleased, and nothing they could try could even bother me. They shot me Kelly, and they barely managed to make my skin redden for a shot while. I never expected Lisa to follow, but you and I could have run things in Henford for a while, and after then…”

“After then? Are you crazy? They would have not let us!” Kelly raised her tone

“It was not as if they could do anything to stop us!” Casey replied, raising her voice in turn

“Are you still so delusional as not to see it?” Kelly asked her former friend

“Tell me Kelly, what makes you think that anyone could stop you? What happens? Were you not big enough?” Casey asked

“For a gun? It seems like I was. For a tank? Damn no!” Kelly said

Casey started to laugh at the other side of the glass.

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked

“After all this time… and finally I find out that you made both of us shrink because you were not big enough. Isn’t it ironic?” Casey asked

“I think time’s up” Kelly said as she started to stand up, eager to end the conversation

“One last thing Kelly” Casey said.

Kelly kept the phone next to her ear and lightly stooped.

“Have you never thought that there was still half a box left of the nerd’s shit, back at the factory?”

Kelly’s eyes widened. Not knowing what to say, she just hung up and got out.

Ron was sleeping by her side. She had got a little closer this time, but he had still managed to keep his mouth shut when it seemed he would open up. The only thing she had managed to understand was that something had happened over the last weeks and that this seemed to be behind their renewed zeal in making tests on her. But he was not more specific than that. It could be anything, from a new overzealous director to the fact that Lisa’s results after having given birth were not valuable anymore.

Kelly could not sleep, though. She had managed to block Casey’s last words for most of the day, but now they were coming back to her.

She had tried to convince herself that she had done the right thing, back at Henford. But had she done the selfish thing, instead? The thing that would keep her out of prison and let her lead a normal life? She had never had to think about this choice in this way, but Casey had opened the can of worms.

Kelly had often wondered what it would have felt like to use her size more, to be able to enjoy it, to be able to keep it even. But she had always discarded that thought, knowing that it had not been possible. What Casey had told her was close to telling her that it had, actually, been possible.

She did not understand how, in six long years, the idea that there had been more serum available had not occurred to her. It was so evident, now that she thought about it. Of course, no one knew what another dose or two of the serum would have done to her, but after seeing the effect of the previous two, it was not unlikely that it would have unlocked some more growth. How much, she did not know, but her imagination showed her growing through the factory’s roof.

“What would have happened, then?” she thought. “Well, people would have been even more scared” was the first thing that came to mind. “And I would have been harder to control”

A scenario that she had blocked for as long as she had been able too started unfolding in her imagination. Casey’s reference to the possibility of getting bigger had opened the door for it. What would have happened if they had been actually unstoppable? Or hard enough to stop to make the military have second thoughts?

“Maybe, only maybe, we would have had to reach a deal: you let me be a giant girl and do giant girl things and I’m not too big of a bitch”

She imagined herself, gigantic, surrounded by little buildings and little cars. And little people. Little people that feared her but also worshiped her. Like a Goddess.

“And why shouldn’t I be a Goddess? Next to them I would have been huge and powerful, a superior being in every single aspect”

Just then, Ron woke up and looked at her.

“You cannot sleep?” he asked

“Nope”

“What were you thinking?” he insisted

“Nothing. To be honest, I was looking at you next to me in my bed and thinking that life is curious”

“Sure it is” Ron said

“What’s the matter if she visited Casey?” Ron asked

Colonel Sykes said:

“She had not even sent a letter in 6 years and now, all of the sudden, she visits her?”

“She was near enough to drive” Ron tried to justify her

“She did not drive to visit Lisa” Sykes said in his usual icy tone

“Lisa and her did not end up too well” Ron shrugged. “And some of the blame is on us. You did not need to treat Kelly like you did with Lisa, but it was not necessary to throw her away either”

“She did not cooperate. And it was not as if she had a great story to tell about what happened in Henford either” Sykes said

“She helped stopping Casey” Ron tried to defend her

“I had never seen you defend her like that before she started sleeping with you”

Ron’s eyes opened very widely, clearly surprised. He was about to say something when Sykes said:

“Of course we follow her. Do you think that we are incompetent?”

“Whatever Kelly and I do is none of your business” Ron finally said

“See, you are wrong here. You are one of our most valuable assets. And, as long as she lives, she will be a threat”

Kelly arrived in Hollner later in the evening, after having completed her checkup and driving the couple hundred miles that separated the two cities. Too late for what she had in mind but too early for everything else, she visited the hotel’s gym. Having much more money that she had ever had in her account had its advantages, such as sleeping in a fancy room in the W rather than in a dirty motel room.

She got the usual attention down at the gym. When one of the men there walked towards her she made a quick evaluation, to decide if he was good enough to let herself be invited to a drink. The man surprised her, though.

“How the hell did you do that?” he asked

She was sitting in the Chest Press machine, sweating.

“What?”

“Lift that much weight” the man said

She had not checked the weights when she had sit on the machine; she did now. She saw that the yellow handle was all the way down. She had been lifting the weights with just a reasonable amount of effort, so she was quite surprised at what she saw.

“There are 200 pounds there” the man said

“This must be a mistake” she offered

“Mistake? I’ve been using this machine just before you. I just set the selector at 200 to see if I could lift it even once. Of course, I couldn’t” the man, who was not in bad shape at all, said

“It must have broken”

“How did you do it?” the man insisted

Uncomfortable, she stood up and left.