"We need to fix you up with a girl."

Rick sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"I think I'm doing okay," Rick said. Brian just shook his head, taking a sip from his drink.

"No, you're not, man. Every guy out there needs a fine piece of ass, if only to take his mind off of things for a little bit." Brian made his point clear as he looked after a woman walking away from the two of them, his eyes following every movement of her hips.

"Remind me why I hang out with you."

"Because I'm the only one that'll be caught in public with you?"

"Yeah, that's probably it." Rick munched on his fries, letting his mind wander and barely taking in what Brian was saying.

"So anyway, like I was saying...we just need to take you to a bar, find a woman, get the two of you together, and you finally get to lose that virgin brand. Huh? What do you say, come on!"

"No."

"You're no fun at all." Brian dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, looking dejected.

"Well, I don't...think of women that way. It should just be a man and a woman, you know?"

"Oh, come on, nobody believes that crap." Brian said, waving his hand through the air as if dismissing the very idea of it. "There's nothing wrong with a little one-nighter here and there. There's no bad feelings between the two of you, you both walk away feeling great...it's win-win."

"Yeah, I'm sure the woman feels fantastic waking up to an empty bed. Is that what Olivia started out as, Brian? A one-nighter, a...'fine piece of ass'?" Rick asked, referring to Brian's girlfriend.

"Shut up," Brian said, a smile forming at his lips. "No, she was different."

"How?"

"I was the one that woke up to an empty bed, for one thing." Rick laughed.

"And what, you called her just so you could have the last word?"

"No...there was just something different about her. I don't know, we clicked."

"In more ways than one."

"Shut up."

Rick laughed again, finishing up his fries and wiping off his mouth. "Well, I don't want that...I don't want to live my life from one date to the next...I'm not the same as you, I just want a woman. A woman. The right woman."

"The 'right woman' doesn't exist, man. Here, I'll throw that out for you." He got up and threw the empty box of fries in the trash, sat back down, and began talking where he left off. "There's just the women, and then there's the better women."

"And what about Olivia?" Brian smiled.

"Olivia, well...she's about as close to the right woman as I can get. I got lucky. But that doesn't mean that having a girlfriend that connects with me changes my outlook on things. I still think about other girls--"

"Ugh, don't. Just...just stop." Rick said, holding up his hands. "I don't...really want to hear about that. You know how pissed Olivia would be if she found out."

"Olivia doesn't have to know." Brian leaned back in his seat, his arms stretched behind his head. "Hell, it's not like she doesn't have those thoughts either. I see her taking looks at other guys, it doesn't really bother me. We both know that what we have is solid. That doesn't mean we can't have a little fun here and there." Rick just shook his head.

"Anyway," Brian continued, "we're not supposed to be talking about me, here. It's about you, and your continuing lack of a female presence by your side."

"I'm not going to a bar to meet a woman for a one-night stand." Brian sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because...it's not right!" Rick said. "I just don't like the idea of it...it's not like it's fishing."

"You have a lot to learn, my friend." Brian said, shaking his head. He suddenly took a pen and a pad of paper out of his pocket. "Look...why don't you go here?" He wrote down a web address, ripped out the paper, and handed it to Rick.

"What is it?"

"It's, well, a dating website."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Rick immediately crumpled up the paper and got up, heading to the trash.

"No, no, no, seriously! It's good! You just go on there, meet other women, talk to them...it'll help you, y'know?"

"I don't have a problem talking to women when I need to, it's just that I don't want to." Rick absent-mindedly pocketed the piece of paper as he sat back down with Brian.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, okay. How 'bout that one?" He pointed over Rick's shoulder to a girl cleaning the tables in the restaurant.

"Why should I talk with her?"

"Why not? Just go over, say hi, see how it goes. Maybe, I dunno, ask her out on a date...?" Rick rolled his eyes.

"I'm not talking to her."

"Yes you are." Brian got to his feet, grabbed Rick's arm, and immediately pulled him up. He gave him a gentle shove on the back in the direction of the girl. Rick glared at Brian, slowly walking over to the girl who continued to spray the tables and wipe them off with a towel. As he walked, he realized his legs were slowly beginning to feel like jello, his heart beating furiously, and though he tried to shut up the thought of Brian telling him "Told you so", he couldn't help but agree. He just shook his head, and soon, he was standing right next to the girl, not saying anything. Just standing and staring at her.

Eventually, the girl realized she was being watched. She slowly stood up, her eyes shifting nervously.

"Um...can I help you?" she asked. Rick looked at her nametag, which read Jill.

"Uh, hi...Jill." He did his best at giving a smile, which he thought showed far more teeth than was appropriate for a situation.

"Hi..." Jill said, clearly uncomfortable, and slowly backing away from Rick. "Do you need something?"

Well, hell, Rick, you could've planned this out better, he thought to himself. "N...no." he said, then shut his eyes tight, realizing what a stupid move that was. Jill just nodded.

"Oh...kay. I need to get back to work now." She sprayed the table again, continuing to wipe it, but never taking her eyes off Rick, eyeing him as if he could strike at any time. Rick just turned around, continuing his glare at Brian, who just gave him the thumbs-up. Rick faced Jill again.

"So...do you...wanna do something?"

It was about half an hour after Jill got her manager and Rick and Brian were kicked out of the restaurant that Rick realized he still had the piece of paper Brian had given him in his pocket. Rick sat on a chair in his apartment, holding the paper in his hand, glancing briefly at it before he got up to throw it away. Halfway to the trash, however, he suddenly stopped, glanced at it once more, and sighed.

"This is so stupid," he muttered to himself before heading over to his computer and booting it up. After several minutes, he found himself on the website, idly looking over it and finding the whole thing more than amusing. The site consisted mostly of profiles of the different users, giving info such as their names, their e-mail addresses, small descriptions. After several minutes of random checking around, he suddenly found an instant message pop up on his screen.

~~HoTaNdSeXy7820~~: hey big boy wanna fuck?

"Okay, that's...no." Rick immediately exited out of the IM, and was just about to leave the website when another IM popped up on his screen.

nz1811: Hey.

He paused, staring at the screen for a few seconds, his hand remaining on the mouse, ready to exit out. He debated in his mind for several long seconds before shrugging and moving over to the IM.

rt76: Hi.

nz1811: Sorry if I'm not too talkative. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, is all. Being on this site.

rt76: I know what you mean.

nz1811: So...

rt76: What's your name?

Rick winced. Was that too forward? That had to be too forward. God, I already screwed it up, didn't I?

nz1811: Naomi. You?

Maybe not.

rt76: Rick.

nz1811: Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Rick.

rt76: Same here. So, what do we do now?

nz1811: I was actually hoping you could tell me...I'm new at this, myself.

rt76: Okay, well...how are you?

God, that was so lame!

nz1811: I'm doing okay. Yourself?

rt76: Not too bad. Just a little nervous, is all.

nz1811: Why?

'Cause I'm talking to a g-g-girl! Rick sighed, shaking his head.

rt76: Oh, just worried I'll scare you off suddenly...I'm not the greatest talker in the world.

nz1811: Don't worry, me neither. But we can only do what we can with what we have.

rt76: True. So, um...tell me about yourself.

They talked long into the night. Rick looked over at the clock, shocked at discovering that the time was 3:14 AM.

rt76: Geez, it's getting awfully late.

nz1811: Is it?

nz1811: Oh, wow...I should have gone to bed hours ago.

rt76: Yeah, me too. I'm sorry for keeping you up, it was my fault...

nz1811: No, no, I liked talking with you! You need more self-confidence.

rt76: Maybe. Will you be online tomorrow?

rt76: Or rather, tonight?

nz1811: Count on it. See you later, Rick.

**nz1811 signed off**

Rick sighed, leaned back in his chair, and smiled.

"Wow..." he muttered. He got out of the chair, stood up, and stretched his muscles, only now realizing just how tired he was. The time had just flown by while he had talked to Naomi about everything...their jobs, their homes, their interests...in the space of only a few minutes, Rick had found the woman he had been fantasizing about for his entire life.

He slowly shuffled over to his room, taking off his shirt as he walked. He collapsed on the bed, and the second his head hit the pillow, he fell asleep.

It felt like only seconds later when his eyes opened. He never was one for dreams. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he had a dream...it had to have been at least a year.

"Ah, well," he sighed. He got out of his bed, and realized that he was standing in a room he had never seen before.

The room itself was massive. It felt like he was in some grand opera hall. What caught his eye were the decorations. Draped along the walls were curtains of various colors, larger than any he had ever seen. Scattered along the ground were pillows that seemed more like mountains to him. In the direct center of the room, there was a large white tower that stretched hundreds of feet into the air. At the top, the He looked back at the bed he had been sleeping on. It was tucked into one corner of the room, and looked like no more than a simple mattress, with no decorations around it to speak of. In fact, that corner of the room with his bed in it was completely bare, with no curtains from the rest of the room stretching into it and no color to speak of.

He slowly moved out of the corner and into the rest of the vibrant place, getting a feel for just how truly large it was. He climbed on top of one of the pillows in order to get a view, and felt his breath catch in his throat.

What seemed like miles away from him across this grand room was another bed, tucked in the opposite corner of his. Only this bed was built to the same size as the rest of the room, and the color and decorations of the place even stretched into his corner. It seemed to stretch miles into the sky, and as Rick continued to look up at it, he suddenly realized that there was a person sleeping on it: a giant woman, curled up into a ball and with her back facing him.

His eyes widened, and he fell down as he continued to stare at her massive form. She seemed to be dressed in a simple white nightgown. Her blond hair rested directly behind her. Her breathing came slowly and steadily, as if she was still sleeping.

Rick laid down on his stomach, as if trying to make himself a smaller target for her in case she woke up. He could feel himself trembling, wanting to get away from this abomination of nature as soon as he could, fearing everything that might happen to him at the hands of this surely cruel goddess. And though he looked around the room, he could see no door out of this place, and realized that he was trapped. There would be no escape for him.

Suddenly, he heard the woman yawn, a long and elegant arm stretching towards the ceiling as she stretched. Rick clutched the soft pillow with his fists as if trying to grab courage from it and stop his violent shaking, but found himself unable to tear his eyes from her as she slowly sat up on her bed, rubbing her eyes. She swung her bare legs over the bed and planted them on the ground, resting her arms on her knees and waiting for the last remnants of sleep to leave her. She then looked up, and her eyes widened.

"What the?!" she cried out, and quickly brought her legs back on the bed, as if fearing that something would strike out and grab them. "Where am I?" she mumbled, looking fearfully around the room. Rick continued to stare at her in wonder, and realized that his shaking was slowly stopping. Although the mere sight of this woman was enough to chill his blood, he realized that she was as much lost and confused as he was. She most certainly was not the evil titaness that his imagination made her out to be.

His knees buckling, Rick slowly got to his feet, still watching her as she rapidly looked around the room in every direction, most likely searching for answers or a way out. Finally, her eyes fell on him, and Rick only stared back, trying not to run screaming from her. He just knew that he had to keep his gaze, to show that he was an ally and a friend. With the two of them together, they were safe in this place. He didn't know why, but somehow, he just knew it. They could find a way out, but only together.

"Oh, God..." the woman suddenly wailed. "Bugs!"

"Oh, shit," Rick cried out, and ran off the pillow. He looked back at her over his shoulder, and saw her grabbing the pillow off her own bed, throwing it through the air. He watched it soar towards him, like some enormous comet, and fell to the ground, holding his hands over his head to protect him. With a soft impact, the pillow landed a few feet away from him, although the wind from it rushing past nearly blew him away. After it landed, he stood up and continued running once more, and heard another wail from the strange woman as she realized that the pillow didn't hit.

Rick looked behind him again, and saw the woman getting off the bed and running towards him. He tried running faster and harder, but the woman's hundred foot tall legs easily overtook his, and in only a few steps, she had caught up to him. Rick looked up, whimpering, into her face, which was a mixture of rage and fear. He stopped running, knowing that it was futile, and in a last-ditch attempt, found himself falling to his knees. Tears running from his eyes, he held his hands up to her and pleased.

"Please," he cried out. "Please, don't kill me!"

The woman raised her leg high over Rick, the bare sole of her foot high above him. She kept her glare on his, completely oblivious to his words. Without saying a word, she brought her foot down rapidly towards him, and Rick barely had enough time to get to his feet and dive out of the way. The force of her foot impacting with the ground was enough to send him flying through the air, and he collided with one of the pillows on the ground. He had barely got his bearings before looking up again and realizing that she had again raised her foot and was bringing it down again. He ran, just narrowly dodging it again, and quickly dropped to hands and knees, crawling underneath a nearby pillow.

"That won't save you!" she cackled, and the darkness beneath the pillow was suddenly flooded with light as she lifted it off of him. She threw it over to the side, and raised her foot once more. "Just...DIE!" she screamed, and slammed her foot down once more, Rick managing to dodge yet again. He immediately stood up and began jumping up and down, waving his arms and screaming at her.

"I'm not a bug! I'm not a bug! Don't kill me!"

She was beginning to raise her foot once more, but suddenly stopped. The rage on her face was suddenly switched with one of confusion, and she softly planted her foot back on the ground. She slowly got on her knees, and looked closer at Rick.

"What the..." she muttered, her face approaching ever closer to him. Rick continued to wave his arms, repeatedly screaming that he wasn't a bug. The woman's eyes suddenly widened, and she backed away from Rick, a hand held over her mouth as she gasped. "Oh my God! Oh my God...it, it's not possible! You...you're a man!"

"Yes! Yes!" Rick yelled over to her, elation filling him as he realized he was safe.

"I can't understand you..." she said. She sighed, and crawled closer to him again. She held her hand out flat towards him. "Here. Climb on my hand."

Rick looked down at it, mistrust etched across his face. He slowly backed away from it, shaking his head. The woman stared down at him with what looked like disappointment, and then she smirked. In a flash, Rick suddenly felt pressure all around him, his arms pinned to his sides as he was lifted into the air by her fist.

"Well, it's not like you can do anything about it, so ha," she laughed. Seeing Rick's fear, however, she looked disappointed once more. "Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough." She opened up her fist and turned her hand so that Rick lay flat across her palm. She gently stroked him with a finger of her other hand. "I'm sorry...it's just...this place. I don't know where I am...do you?" Rick shook his head.

"I woke up here, the same as you," he called up to her.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, bringing him close to her ear.

"I said, I woke up here, the same as you!" he shouted.

"Oh...really? Um, I don't see your bed..." she said, looking around the room. Rick could see the bare white corner of the room even from here, and pointed over to it. The woman frowned, gently getting to her feet. "I still don't see it..."

She walked to the corner, and Rick could hear a soft crunch far on the ground. Both he and the woman looked down with the same expression of worry as she lifted her foot, the destroyed ruins of the bed beneath her big toe.

"Oh...I'm sorry! God, I'm such a klutz..." the woman muttered. Rick just smiled up at her.

"It's fine!" he yelled up to her. "Don't worry about it." She smiled back at him.

"So tell me...do you have a name?"

"It's Rick!" The woman looked startled, her eyes narrowing.

"Did you just say Rick?"

"Yeah..." he nodded, worried that he had done something wrong.

"Well," she gulped, "mine's Naomi."