Reviewer: zol Signed [Report This]
Date: September 17 2014 4:48 PM Title: Chapter 4

You should take a book in your hands and compare your writing style with someone who knows how to write and narrate. Stories mostly never are in simple present tense but in past tense. Also it's really bad if 99,999% of your stories sentences begin with the same word or like "person a ...", "person b...". This is more like a script but nothing like a story.

Author's Response:

Alright well thanks for the review if tried to compare my writing to other peoples writing on here and make it kind of the same style but i know i have lots of improvement to do might have to just quit posting for awhile and just practice my  writing