Reviewer: MicroThaumaturge Signed [Report This]
Date: March 18 2025 3:05 AM Title: Duncan vs. the Shy Slaver

Damn, my heart ached for Callie at the start of this chapter. Bringing Duncan in to help her cheat was silly, it was dangerous, it was daring, and worst of all, it had worked! And then it had all gone to shit... Duncan was missing, presumed dead (by Callie, sorta. Guilt sucks), and Callie had no idea what else she could do. I'm so glad Monica was there for her, to comfort her, and to comisserate, while keeping Callie from falling into despair.

The next scene with Callie was quite interesting as well. Holy crap is she handy! I mean, the bed was impressive on its own, but it sounds like Duncan has quite the setup here! And the pictures! Not just the effort in creating the framed photos, but the contents themselves are wonderful, or at least delightfully campy (Imminent vore shot? Check!). Duncan and Callie have such a wonderful relationship.

Swapping to Duncan's scenes, holy cow did you solidify Ada's nerd cred! From her Sci-Fi collection (I would have LOVED a Firefly bedpread when I was younger) to her Dune tee-shirt, it's obvious she's got the merch, but you really sold it with her socially awkward introduction and utter lack of conversational skills. That was totally me with strangers at that age. Well, strangers I wasn't meeting for a purpose. I actually think Ada did really well here! Kudos for letting Duncan carry the conversation!

And then the ice was broken, and that nerdy need to know surged forth. I absolutely love how well you characterize through action and word choice, and Ada's intro is a shining example of that. Oh, and the Cool Ranch Doritos and Dew? Classic!

But then she gets all possessive?! And here I was hoping the nerdy Browncoat would be a new, positive influence on his life, but nope, she straight up declares Duncan as her slave!  You betrayed my faith in you, nerdy Ada! But no! She doesn't really want to enslave him; she just wants a friend, and mirroring his reactions is about the extent of her social repertoire outside of talking about her Sci-Fi. Gah, my heart goes out to this poor, unassuming girl who just wants human interaction, not realizing the other party is a victim of abuse, with no real context about his captor beyond what she's shown him, and what he's seen from other giant, abusive women. She doesn't understand that Duncan's ability to stop their 'playacting' is something only she can perceive, and that even thinking of bringing it up is anathema to the abused tiny. She can't see or understand that his projected expectations mixed with her social anxiety and need for companionship have combined into a horribly toxic concotion of a social heirarchy, with neither feeling in control.

And then it gets so much worse (better)! Misinterpreting his stated fears as his desires, she doubles down and puts him in a degrading situation she thinks he'll enjoy, not understanding that... that, uh... that he actually will enjoy it, but will be very confused by his reaction. Damn, this was a great way to expose Duncan to some aspects of size play that would have been far less likely under Callie's care.  Gah, this was a perfect storm, and I absolutely loved it!

I'm also glad that when the truth came to light, Ada proved she was a proud Browncoat, and brought Duncan back to his found family (in progress). It was kind of Duncan to try covering for Ada, but perhaps a bit of explanation would have been the safer way to go, as shown by Monica picking up on Ada's pleased surprise.

I did enjoy that scene with Duncan and Monica. I'm proud to see her opening up with Duncan. I'm glad to have it confirmed she's not there for him romantically, but because she cares about him as a person. No chance of his growing relationship with Callie souring their relationship with Monica, at least not through direct jealousy. I hope they continue to stick together moving forward, even if there are some understandable reservations towards Ada.

Gah, I want to read another chapter, but it's bedtime. Great story, I'm loving everythong thus far, and I can't wait to see what comes next!

Reviewer: TerryLarka Signed [Report This]
Date: August 19 2024 11:17 PM Title: Duncan vs. the Shy Slaver

Duncan and Ada's dynamic was really interesting throughout the bulk of this chapter with Duncan projecting his past trauma onto her and Ada just trying her damndest to pick up on social cues. Even before we got to see things from her perspective, Ada gave off the vibe that she was just following along with Duncan's assertions, though I initially interpreted that as her acting out on her own frustration than misinterpreting Duncan's desires. In the end, I wish I didn't find Ada as relatable as I do, but I really love her character and hope she can finally find some friends in Callie and Duncan.

Callie's reaction at the beginning of the chapter was along the lines of what I'd expect in that it tugged at my heartstrings. Jumping ahead to her back at the apartment was an unexpected choice, and I'm glad you mentioned that Monica was the one to bring her back. I could picture Callie spending hours on that sidewalk checking under every pebble and combing through every blade of grass looking for Duncan. It's also interesting seeing how quickly Monica came to trust Callie. Beyond just letting her take care of Duncan, the fact Monica didn't blame or seem upset at Callie for ostensibly losing him says a lot. Also, I adored the pictures they have hanging on the shoebox wall. So cute!

Aaaah, mouthplay, one of my several weaknesses. All the slave stuff was really hot. The mouth scene was the most detailed and appeals to my deprived tastes the most, so it was the best part but everything involving Ada was really well written. Maybe assuming the inch tall man you found abandoned on the sidewalk is into CNC with strangers isn't the right call when trying to make friends, but hey it led to some damn good smut.

Usually, when a tiny accosts a well-meaning big, I find it insufferable. It's typically used an excuse to justify why the cruel the script calls for is happening, and it never makes sense why an inch tall man thinks he can mouth off to a being capable of crushing him between her fingers. But here, Duncan's reaction is the perfect blend of acting on past trauma and complacency at having spent enough time recently not needing to fear big ladies killing him for the slightest transgression. It makes sense that he'd be mistrusting towards Ada's nice "act" when he's literally experienced the same heel turn from Natasha. Here, his misplaced anger comes off as a rational response from his character and as opposed to a plot contrivance to justify the steppies. 

One minor criticism is I found the pacing towards the end of Duncan's time in Ada's apartment a little abrupt, specifically him realizing his mistaken paranoia. There's nothing wrong with the content there, events played out logically and characters came to the conclusions I'd expect them to, but it all just seemed to happen too fast, like everything fixed itself with a flip of a switch when I'd expect the scene to dwell on the shifting emotions for a bit longer. I guess I'm trying to say I think if the scene marinated on the resolution a bit more it would have flowed smoother, but again that's a minor complaint in an otherwise great chapter.

I'm not sure what to say about the reunion other than I am glad to see our leads back together again. They weren't really apart for that long but it might as well have been eons. Hell, they don't even get to spend that much time together before Duncan's whisked off to the bath, but I figure future chapters will give the two plenty of time to catch up. I don't know how funny you intended it to be, but Callie worrying Ada showed up at her apartment "to tell Callie that Duncan is staying with her now," got me laughing so hard. I don't know, just the absurdity of Ada inviting herself into Callie's apartment to tell her that Duncan found a new giant woman to board with is my brand of humor and so perfectly in line with the silly things Callie worries about at times. 

And yeah, I knew immediately Monica sniffed out that obvious lie. Good on Duncan for trying to protect Ada's image given that the misunderstanding was a good chunk his fault and Ada is in desperate need of friends to help build those much neglected social skills. But he should have came up with a way better explanation for Monica. There's no good way of spinning "Yeah, she made me her slave for a bit there" lol. Maybe he'll figure something out by next chapter before Monica can scare Ada back into being a forever shut-in.

Author's Response:

I'm going to start with the criticism, because you absolutely caught me! The story was starting to stretch a bit more than I initially anticipated by that point (I also had two more segments that I had initially planned to tag to the back end that I've since pushed back to a future chapter). I briefly considered going back and cutting out some of the building of Ada's "nerd credentials" and going a little deeper with the resolution, but I ultimately came to the same conclusion that you did about the scene in question, that it got the job done, more or less. Now that someone has pointed it out, I kind of regret not going with my first instinct. So good eye! I can't get away with shit with you around!

Speaking of that good eye of yours, you mentioning the jump right to the apartment for Callie was kind of eerie as well, as my initial plan was to start with Monica, Alyssia, and Callie searching for Duncan on-site. But it was actually suggested to me that it would be a powerful opening to have Callie just staring at Duncan's shoebox home, and that thought stuck with me as I started to plan out my initial idea until I had to write it that way. Yeah, I really didn't think Callie would just up and leave without finding Duncan, so Monica had to take her back to the apartment for her own sake, as her breaking down constantly led to her not being very productive in the search. I'm so glad you mentioned the importance of Monica being there, as I wasn't sure if that would come out clearly.

As for Monica not being upset with Callie, I didn't really mention it outright, but Monica and Callie (and even Alyssia a little bit, but I haven't mentioned that at all yet) have bonded in the three weeks since Callie brought Monica back to the office. I tried to subtly slip in that Callie was talking on the phone with Monica in chapter four (when she walked in on Duncan's virtual meeting with the scientist), which is actually a pretty big deal since Monica gives out her personal number to almost no one, for example. Not to mention Callie was already growing on her by the end of chapter three. So I wanted to show here that they've very quickly built a strong friendship on their own, even independent from Duncan.

It makes me feel good that you were suffering right along with Callie at the start! She had already gone through so much emotional anguish to start that I felt as though there was something particularly depressing about her being so numb inside in that moment.

And I'm thrilled that you liked the photos! I've had that idea for a while now (as well as a lot of the details for Duncan's place), and this just felt like the appropriate place to sneak it in.

I'm both happy and kind of sad that you find Ada so relatable. I love that someone can resonate enough with one of my characters to actually say that, but based on you saying you wish you didn't relate to her, I'm guessing that you've shared in some of her social struggles. To that I say, try not to worry about it too much; it may be a bit cliché, but we really all have been there.

Your feelings on Ada are dead on, by the way. Her initial agreement that Duncan was her slave was her just saying it out of frustration that he just assumed that about her. But pretty much as soon as she said it, she didn't know what to do, but she felt like it was too late to take it back! Hence feeding her grapes, something easy yet slave-y. She then eventually came to the super-logical, not-at-all socially awkward conclusion that this was just some game he was playing and he was into it. She's trying so hard to people, but it just never seems to work out ...

Oh, and I share your hope that she can find some friends in Duncan and Callie. I wonder how all that will turn out ...

Thanks for the kind words about how well-written Ada was. I really had no idea how she would be received, especially with the unique dynamic I was trying to establish between Duncan and her, but she actually seems pretty popular! She'd be so happy to know that! In her defense on the CNC thing, the mouth play scene didn't start drifting that way until she felt his erection, so between what that naturally implies and her social struggles, I hope the conclusion she drew didn't come off as too ridiculous, especially since she spat him out as soon as it was clear that it was straight NC instead. Either way, doing so for the sake of "damn good smut" seems worth it!

I entirely share your aversion to the arrogant, belligerent tiny telling off a big (well-meaning or otherwise) only to be in complete shock when bad things happen as a result. Like you said, it's usually used as an excuse to steer a story in a particular direction, and that's a huge pet peeve of mine. So I'm relieved that Duncan didn't come off this way to you here. Yeah, his past trauma certainly played a big role, not only in his paranoia but also in his confidence that he could take whatever punishment Ada would dish out for a first-time offense. The fact that you used the word rational to describe Duncan in this scene makes me feel pretty good about it, too.

"But it might as well have been eons." I loved reading that. You're exactly right that this was a really short time apart for them (just a matter of hours, really), but I was hoping the fact that Callie didn't know what happened to him would make it feel longer. And yeah, Monica slipped away with him pretty quick in large part because she felt like it was important to know more about this stranger, both for Duncan's sake and for Callie's. Also, while Duncan helped her bury it for now, Callie still has a lot of negative feelings about herself regarding what happened, and it's possible that Monica picked up on that too and realized that Callie would need some time to forgive herself (even if she didn't really do anything wrong).

And no, I didn't mean for that line from Callie to be funny, but I lost it after I read your interpretation of it! I really wish I could say I did that on purpose!

But that was more of Callie shifting her guilt from thinking she killed him to thinking that he would hate her now because of what happened. You're right when you say Callie worries about silly things at times, and this was definitely one of them, but it's just part of this self-depreciating mentality Duncan is trying to get her out of.

Lastly, you're right that Duncan kind of screwed up in the way he introduced the truth to Monica. But like Ada, Duncan also struggles to understand people, just in a very different way. This has kind of led to most of his problems since shrinking, and now poor Ada may have to deal with some shit because of it. I love that your mind went right to Monica scaring Ada into never leaving her dorm room again, though!

Reviewer: MXP20 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 19 2024 3:18 AM Title: Duncan vs. the Shy Slaver

Ohhhhh maaann … Where to begin, where to begin. Let’s start off with Ada.

I was terrified that Duncan’s ex was the one that captured him during the cliffhanger in the last chapter. I was thinking, ‘Oh shit, here we go again.” I was ecstatic when it was a new giantess. Ada is such a tragic character. Not gonna lie, I was really afraid of what her conclusion was going to be. I didn’t want to see Duncan escaping from her, always remembering her as another ‘evil’ giantess. So, I was so relieved how you concluded her arc in this chapter. You did her character just. And now, Ada and Duncan will share this awkward bonding they had when he was in her mouth and at her feet.

Oh shit, the mouth play. Leeetttt’s goooooo! Mouth play, mouth play. It’s only second to vore, haha. I loved the sensory descriptions here. Also liked how Duncan was into it. I really hope he could share this with Callie in the future.

The painting toenails part—oh yeah, I dig that. I loved that transition you made between Ada guessing he’d like it, and Duncan admitting he liked it. Again, this is another moment I hope to see him sharing with Callie.

I already told you my thoughts about Monica. As a secondary character, she stole the show in this chapter. Maybe because she was the last giantess mentioned, but her interactions with Duncan in the bathtub were powerful—like, literally. I love her relationship with her employee, and how she’s definitely in the friendship realm with him, instead of a boring professional relationship. She genuinely cares for Duncan, and it shows with her actions at the end. Like, not letting go of the fact that she caught Ada and him in a lie.

Oh, man. I regret not reading this sooner, but I’m grateful I started now because I had so many great chapters to read back-to-back. You got me hooked! Can’t wait to see more.

Author's Response:

I love that you refer to Ada as a "tragic character." That wasn't necessarily my first thought when writing her, but it fits what I was going for, if that makes sense. She's lonely and lacks the social skills and confidence to connect with people the way she wants, so much so that she ends up treating Duncan like a slave in a desperate (and vain) effort to keep him happy. Tragic is probably the best way to describe that, now that I think about it. That's probably a big part of the reason why Duncan not only doesn't blame her for what happened but is actively trying to help her make friends!

And yeah, there is a bit of awkwardness to their new bond, especially because of what happened in her mouth. I wonder if that will play out sometime in the chapters ahead ...

We already talked about the mouth play scene, but I don't think I mentioned how much I appreciate a compliment about a scene like that coming from you, knowing just how much you enjoy all things vore and vore adjacent!

That transition was a fun one to come up with. Jumping immediately from Ada sincerely hoping that Duncan was enjoying himself to Duncan hating himself for enjoying being at her toes just sums up what's going on between them in two simple sentences that pretty much mirror each other.

I also love that, for both the mouth play and toenail scenes, you kept Callie in mind!

And yeah, Monica really cares about Duncan a lot, and his shrinking has sort of been a wake-up call for her to lower that barrier of professionalism and let him (and others) see how she really feels about them. Friendship is a good way to describe it, although she does like to play with him at his new size from time to time. I mean, come on, when is she going to get the opportunity to do something like that again?

I've said it before, but I've always sort of envisioned something of a big sister/little brother dynamic between Monica and Duncan. Not exactly, but generally so. So Monica showing Duncan some tough love at the end of the chapter, between intimidating him into telling the truth and both dunking him and "threatening' to carrying him out to the living room naked if he didn't hurry up, was her way of showing concern for what he had just gone through and frustration that he was so willing to trust someone that she still very much saw as a threat (due to her overprotective nature, mostly).

Reviewer: hava Signed [Report This]
Date: August 15 2024 8:07 PM Title: Duncan vs. the Shy Slaver

Every chapter of this story is a treat. I love the dynamic the roommates have and it's just cute. I look forward to reading every time there's an update

Author's Response:

Thank you for saying that! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, Callie and Duncan's dynamic in particular, as that's the driving force of the story!