[Report This]Date: April 05 2025 4:04 AM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
Hey, It Was Me? I'm getting a little concerned here. I'm down to one chapter left in a story that's Complete: Yes, and I don't actually see the end in sight. You're too talented of an author to rush the ending, so, uh... I really hope that Duncan, Callie, and Co. are Okay at the end of this. Nothing completes a story more completely than a permanent, biblical ending.
Alright, now that's off my chest, let's dig in. I have to say, I shamefully did not consider Monica and Kristie might bond over their shared trauma, or rather, the trauma they imparted unto people undeserving of it. I can see Kristie was actively trying to get Monica to do what she had threatened, but that does not absolve Monica of her responsibility, and I'm glad to see she knows this. Still, I hate to see her suffer. She did something unforgiveable, as has Kristie, but that doesn't erase the rest of their existence, and I am still rooting for Monica, and I've finally come around to rooting for Kristie too. I totally want to see Monica & Kristie officially together at the end of this, with both of them working to smooth out their worst acquired interpersonal behaviors. Especially Kristie's. I'm expecting another comparative scene, where instead of Duncan, and then Callie trying to get everyone to trust Ada (which is suddenly seeming like a BAD MOVE), we instead see Monica trying to get the others to accept Kristie as part of the group.
And speaking of Ada... that uncomfortable-comfortable voyeur and really willing - super horny exhibitionist scene was hot as fuck! Great use of a simple, but effective prop, both to turn Duncan into a finger fuck-puppet, and to finish Ada off by hanging him out to soak in Callie's saliva. Start to finish, you really drew me in like a second voyeur in the room. I love how well you teased Ada by including her in the action with Callie's attentiveness, without ever actually, physically including her in the sex. Wonderful job. 10/10.
But then there was Ada's sexually-frustrated post FTB scene, and that stinger at the end. Ada isn't telling our leading lady, nor her beloved finger fuckit, that there's more to the nanomachines than was presented at the start. I don't think it's been framed by Catamaunt as a bad thing, else I expect Ada would have put a stop to it, but I do not like Ada keeping secrets. Her judgement has been shown to be... rather naive at times. I just hope whatever's going on doesn't hurt or separate our happy couple. If that, "If another tiny man shows up on somebody’s doorstep, I’m calling dibs," isn't foreshadowing, then I'm actually the height I want to be. I don't think it's Alyssia, but I have a sinking feeling for Callie.
And then there's that stinger. Things are going well, and we already have one ominous secret threatening our happy, mixed-size couple. Now Natasha's back in the picture. May she find what she deserves.
Date: February 18 2025 5:32 AM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
I really like how you navigated Monica's feelings of regret. Kristie's acknowledgment that she knew Monica was going to back out and that she deliberately goaded Monica into it was a fascinating plot point, and I thought it made perfect sense. It's hard to redeem Kristie after what she's done, but I think she's most of the way there. She still needs to confront her victim.
The voyeur sex was awesome! I don't think I've ever seen that in a size story. I was really hoping Ada would join in. Very fun to see Callie explore her dominant side around people other than her tiny boyfriend.
[Report This]Date: January 27 2025 11:35 PM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
So sorry for the late review, again. It has nothing to do with the story, it's just me. I have been noticing a general lack of reviews lately and I hope you haven't lost any motivation to write because of it, as this story remains as great as ever.
Boy, you threw me for a loop with this chapter's title. Ada's the titular character here? Now who's to say it won't be Monica or Natasha or anyone else next time? You've opened the floodgates.
I really like the structure here and in the latest chapters. You'd think it'd be difficult to juggle six different main characters when they're off doing different stuff, but you're doing a fine job! You're able to alternate the sexy stuff with Callie and Duncan, the emotional arc with Monica and Kristie and the more ominous stuff going on in the background.
Starting this chapter with Monica and Kristie was a wise choice; I was eager to see what would happen after the events of last chapter. And overall, I'd say this was an excellent arc for both characters. Monica being an absolute mess is somewhat satisfying after her past actions. I honestly thought she was irredeemable, but her guilt goes a long way in making up for it. It's the same with Kristie. I suspected from the start that she was more empathetic than she let on, and after so long of hiding her true self, it's a relief to get her perspective on everything that's happened, which recontextualizes it somewhat. I'm finding myself more sympathetic to both of them, even if The way she gradually climbs higher onto Monica during their conversation is also adorable.
I won't comment too much on the sex scene, because I can't, but just like everything else it was good lol. Interesting development to get Ada on board. You have a very visceral and detailed way of writing when it comes to writing sexy stuff, and it works really well. And does Duncan actually have a high pitched voice? I don't remember if that was stated in the earlier chapters.
Oh my God, what is Dr. Catamaunt planning with the nanomachines? I hope it's just a mildly unethical experiment, and not something that could permanently harm Duncan. I just can't believe a German scientist would be evil!
Along with Natasha showing up, nobody can deny you write compelling cliffhangers! I'm so excited for what's to come!
Author's Response:
Hey, no problem at all! I'm just glad you're still into the story. And sorry for the late response, which I think is worse, anyway!
I hadn't lost the motivation to keep writing, but I got bogged down a bit and fell into a funk for a while. But as I'm writing this, the next (and last) chapter is up, so I found my way out of it!
Yeah, I like playing around with the chapter titles. What's the point of setting up a certain style if you're never going to break from it? That's the fun! That's the whole point!
Thank you so much for saying that I'm balancing these characters well! We'll see if you still feel that way when you read the next chapter (two particular characters eat up a lot of real estate in that one, but I think it's worth it)!
You saying something like that about Monica actually kind of surprised me! You haven't been feeling that character from the start, so to see even hints that you might be starting to come around to her is so satisfying for me to read! And I love the way people are coming around to Kristie! A couple of people, you included, thought there may have been more to her than meets the eye, but man did a lot of people hate her guts from the start (and justifiably so)! I love that the word "recontextualize" has come up multiple times when talking about her. That was absolutely the goal from the start, and it makes me feel like I've really accomplished something to see that it seems to be working out exactly like I hoped!
And yeah, Kristie's ascent was damned adorable, wasn't it?
Thank you for your compliment about how I write the "sexy stuff!" I love your word choice for it: Visceral. Man, does that sound great to me! Being detail oriented is great, too, but that v-word makes me feel like those scenes have a more personal feel to them, which is about the highest compliment you could give me. So thanks!
I actually never mentioned whether Duncan's voice is high-pitched or not. I just know that's something that's sometimes associated with tinies and that people often use a higher tone when mocking others, so those two seemed to fit together here. I never gave whether or not it was true much though! I'm just going to say no (at least for now), as Duncan has a regular-sounding voice in my head.
"Just mildly unethical"? Ha! Man, that's such a low bar! But I get what you're saying. And who could have foreseen that a German-sounding scientist might be working for evil instead of good? It's a crazy concept, right? I guess we'll have to wait a bit to find out if it's true, though.
Oh man, if you thought that cliffhanger was compelling ...
Thank you once again for the review and for sticking with this story for so long!
Author's Response:
Hey, no problem at all! I'm just glad you're still into the story. And sorry for the late response, which I think is worse, anyway!
I hadn't lost the motivation to keep writing, but I got bogged down a bit and fell into a funk for a while. But as I'm writing this, the next (and last) chapter is up, so I found my way out of it!
Yeah, I like playing around with the chapter titles. What's the point of setting up a certain style if you're never going to break from it? That's the fun! That's the whole point!
Thank you so much for saying that I'm balancing these characters well! We'll see if you still feel that way when you read the next chapter (two particular characters eat up a lot of real estate in that one, but I think it's worth it)!
You saying something like that about Monica actually kind of surprised me! You haven't been feeling that character from the start, so to see even hints that you might be starting to come around to her is so satisfying for me to read! And I love the way people are coming around to Kristie! A couple of people, you included, thought there may have been more to her than meets the eye, but man did a lot of people hate her guts from the start (and justifiably so)! I love that the word "recontextualize" has come up multiple times when talking about her. That was absolutely the goal from the start, and it makes me feel like I've really accomplished something to see that it seems to be working out exactly like I hoped!
And yeah, Kristie's ascent was damned adorable, wasn't it?
Thank you for your compliment about how I write the "sexy stuff!" I love your word choice for it: Visceral. Man, does that sound great to me! Being detail oriented is great, too, but that v-word makes me feel like those scenes have a more personal feel to them, which is about the highest compliment you could give me. So thanks!
I actually never mentioned whether Duncan's voice is high-pitched or not. I just know that's something that's sometimes associated with tinies and that people often use a higher tone when mocking others, so those two seemed to fit together here. I never gave whether or not it was true much though! I'm just going to say no (at least for now), as Duncan has a regular-sounding voice in my head.
"Just mildly unethical"? Ha! Man, that's such a low bar! But I get what you're saying. And who could have foreseen that a German-sounding scientist might be working for evil instead of good? It's a crazy concept, right? I guess we'll have to wait a bit to find out if it's true, though.
Oh man, if you thought that cliffhanger was compelling ...
Thank you once again for the review and for sticking with this story for so long!
[Report This]Date: January 23 2025 11:41 PM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
Hello, sir. You don’t know me. I stumbled on your story a few days ago and promptly ignored it. I don’t read. My thing is to gloss over chapter titles and guess what happens. My wife has read your story (like the words between chapter titles) and wanted to share her thoughts and opinions on the arrangement of said words.
Starting off with Kristie and Monica, my wife liked how they both felt guilty about their past behaviors. She said it was necessary for them to feel bad and air out before moving forward together. My wife predicts that Monica and Kristie will have a meaningful relationship in the near future. The way they both came together on their own was enjoying to see, and she’s really rooting for them.
She loved the sex scene with Callie. My wife said it was exciting to see Callie let loose, and at one point, she thought Callie was gonna share Dunky with Ada and honestly wouldn’t mind seeing this. My wife said she’d love to try the finger thing on me if I was a tiny, by tying me up with string so I couldn’t go nowhere (too bad I’m not into this fetish.) It’s hard pulling an opinion from my wife, but she said the entire sex scene was enjoyable.
Finally, she’s excited about the story’s direction and the sudden appearance of Natasha. My wife read this chapter in one go and couldn’t put it down. She said to keep on writin’!
As for me, I can’t wait to read the chapter title of your next update. Actually, I’ll have my wife read it to me. I’m far too busy and not into this fetish. I like pioneer-era stories about the Oregon Trail.
Author's Response:
Good day, sir!
It's an honor to not know you. I hope you've recovered from stumbling over my story, as I've not updated my liability insurance in some time. Normally I'd be concerned about revealing this to you, but thankfully you don't read, so I should be in the clear here.
I so very much appreciate the attention you've paid to my chapter titles, as I've put more of my thought into those than I have those meddlesome words separating them. You wouldn't believe how long I debated things like vs. vs. vs. Shit. I mean vs vs. vs. Fuck, that still doesn't look right. Vs versus vs.? Uh, what's alliteration again?
I'm so glad to hear that your wife enjoyed the said words in my little story, but, based on her thoughts as shared here, it looks like she actually read the unsaid ones as well! I certainly wouldn't have blamed her for sticky to just the dialogue, so thus was a pleasant surprise!
As for the said words, both said and unsaid, I was really happy to see that your wife seems to be enjoying the progress being made between Monica and Kristie. Based on her feelings on Kristie earlier in the story, which I'm completely unaware of since this is our first meeting, I was really curious how she would take to this development. She's 100 percent right that both women had a lot to process both internally and to each other in order to process their guilt and confront those past behaviors. That she's actually cheering these two on now really makes me feel great about how I've written them to this point!
My deepest sympathies for you not sharing our happy fetish here on this site. Being tied to your wife's fingers while she fingers how to use those fingers must be a terrible thing to imagine for you, and my heart aches for you! I mean that with the same degree of seriousness as the rest of this very serious and in no way jocose (hey, I learned a new word today!) response to your review of your wife's review. You're so unlucky to be so lucky!
I'm thrilled that she enjoyed the exhibitionist sex scene so much, though! Yeah, it would have neat if Callie would have shared Duncan with Ada, now wouldn't it? Hmm if only someone would have had that idea in the first place ...
Oh well, I suppose Callie is allowed to be selfish once in a while. And Ada certainly didn't not enjoy the show herself!
That Natasha twist landing with your wife at the end of the chapter makes me happy as well! It was a short segment, but it sounds like it did its job!
And keep writin' I shall! It's quite motivating to here that she read the chapter in one go. I tend to put a lot of words between those exciting chapter titles, not unlike another certain writer that I apparently don't know!
Please tell your wife, as always for the first time, that I really appreciate her taking the time to share her thoughts on this story with me!
The Oregon Trail, you say? Sounds hot! I think I might just have to see if my close personal friend Google has any dysentery porn on them.
Side note: Do NOT Google dysentery porn! The search results are absolute shit!
[Report This]Date: December 14 2024 10:11 PM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
I’ll start by saying this might be your most intriguing chapter title yet. Usually, I can gleam from it a fairly decent idea of what to expect before jumping in (Callie vs the Delectable Date is obviously going to be about her first date with Duncan and denoting his taste implies mouth play will likely be involved in some fashion), but this one stumped me. Who could these sultry showoffs be, and in what context could Ada be “pitted against” them? Hell, just seeing Ada’s name in the title was a (welcome) surprise. That’s the first time a side character got the chapter title treatment, so my curiosity was already extremely piqued going into this one.
Way back when Monica explained to Duncan that she was a lesbian, I remember that scene feeling like a Chekov’s gun sorta deal and firmly believing Monica was getting a tiny girlfriend at some point down the line. When Kristie was shrunken and shipped off the Callie not long after, my immediate thought was, “Well, she ain’t going to be it lol.” So, to see this bond forming between them now, all the micro reactions we get from Monica at the start here that point like a compass to a burgeoning romance, combined with all the context and conflict that’s occurred between them since way back then to now, I have to commend you on selling me on a pairing that at one point had no business existing.
I think my biggest takeaway from that opening scene is that Kristie and Monica are perfect for each other. I don’t mean romantically (although, I don’t know, maybe they are that too), but in that they’re maybe the only people who can truly relate to one another and what they’ve done wrong. I loved (“loved” is not the right word, but I can’t think of a better one for this context) seeing Monica so wracked with guilt. I already didn’t think what she did to Kristie was the right way to go about things, and once we got the tiny’s tragic backstory, it only worsened what the CEO did to her. So, it’s really affirming to see Monica come to the same conclusions; it shows how much heart she has and that she is a good person who recognizes she made a huge mistake. And the fact her victim is the one pushing her out of her rut makes this scene work. Kristie is the only person who can absolve Monica, and in that note, I think you handled this extremely touchy scene with expert deftness.
Kristie had quite the face turn this chapter. Her bringing to light that she said all that spiteful shit to Duncan specifically to goad Monica into going through with her punishment really recontextualizes everything. I’m glad that Monica still fought back against the idea that exonerated her of any wrongdoing, and I’m doubly glad you didn’t try to walk things back by retroactively making it so Kristie enjoyed being raped (her expressing that she went through hell in there was a particularly powerful moment in this very powerful opener). But the fact that Kriste too has been wracked with guilt this whole time and is just damn good at hiding it was such a huge revelation. I think you handled that really well, as I could flash back to prior moments in the story and see her having that internal dialogue with herself while pushing everyone away and giving the impression she’s an uncaring bitch.
The way Kristie talked about the nightmares, hearing Duncan’s screaming in her head, all the times she considered letting him go or hesitating before forcing herself on him, all of that was so haunting. It’s funny, a lot of Monica’s reactions regarding how she shouldn’t sympathize with Kristie but does echoed my thoughts while reading this. Monica has the excuse that she can directly relate to what Kristie did, and thus she can put herself in those tiny shoes. Me, well, I blame you and how good you are at writing these characters that I’m feeling bad for a character who did something horrible to a character that never deserved that kind of treatment.
But man, Kristie crying it out on Monica’s shoulders was so moving. This itself isn’t a redemption, but it’s a strong stepping point I hope Kristie can use to reach atonement. Now, I don’t know the first thing of how she’s supposed to atone for what she did (or if she can?) but I feel she needs to actually be open and honest to Duncan about what they went through. I don’t know, I think having a mutual understanding, like what Kristie and Monica now share, is important, and they’re all deserving of that.
But yeah, I’m really rooting for Monica and Kristie to push through this together. All the descriptions of Kristie touching Monica and climbing all over her, you’re damn good at writing body exploration. The power of intimacy in that scene, we saw how much Monica needed Kristie’s touch and how much it affected her, and all that tugged at the ol’ heartstrings. Oh, and despite the revelations, Kristie still feels like Kristie. The constant swearing helps a lot, but also her abrasiveness even when she’s actively trying to connect with someone lol. Also also, my final thought on this opening scene: I really liked the part where Monica’s boob jiggling nearly knocked Kristie off her. Am I ashamed that might be my favorite detail in a very serious and heart wrenching section of the chapter? No. No, not at all.
Oh, so those are the sultry showoffs. Wow, I was not expecting where this chapter was heading at all, and I can’t understate how excited I got reading this. Don’t get me wrong, my primary emotion at the beginning of the scene was utter bafflement at what was going on, but once Duncan explained the situation to Ada, I was fully on board.
I don’t have any experience with an exhibition fetish, so reading how much Callie is into it was really exciting (don’t you dare awaken anything in me, ya hear!). Looking back at it, I can see it. I remember when she wore that skimpy outfit to the test and it was noted how much she enjoyed all the eyes on her. Honestly, the thought of Callie enjoying having people watch her get intimate because she knows how hot she is and how much we’d all die to see that, is extremely hot in and of itself. I’m starting to see the appeal of this kink (dammit, I told you not to awaken anything in me!).
But yeah, I also really love how much Duncan wants to satisfy his girlfriend’s kink. I’ve mentioned it in my last review that this sort of thing is peak relationship goals, and it great to see Dunky get the chance to return the favor to Callie. And regardless of what she’s into, Kinky Callie is just flat out hot. You know what, no, I’m not letting you win me over. I just love confident women is all, and what’s a greater display of confidence then wanting people to get off to watching you fuck your man’s brains out.
…
…
… Dammit! You’re winning me over!
Ada stressing she’s not into girls feels like a direct assault on my Alyssa x Ada hopes. I’ll have you know that I will not take this abuse lying down. (by which I mean, I will absolutely take it lying down lol. Stick to your guns, the story is better for it).
Speaking of Ada, goddamn is she sweet. She’s such a relatable character, and I’m so happy that she’s found friends in Duncan and Callie. Her interactions with the tiny, picking him up and oddly enough showing more concern for him than Callie at the start were nice little moments. I love how normal porn doesn't do it for her anymore, and feel kinda bad for her for that. Hopefully, the happy couple will let her watch again, or maybe she'll find that shrunken guy we all (read: I) want her to have.
Smut. What am I even supposed to say? It’s fucking excellent. I don’t need to tell you again how much I adore watching characters roleplay in these stories. Duncan’s half-assed first attempt was hilarious, as was Callie’s response to it (fucking hand puppet Duncan lol). Ada raising her hand in concern when Dunky really got into it was a sweet moment, as was the reassurance he offered her. And getting to see kind, cute as a button, Callie play the cruel giantess was so fucking gratifying.
Dunky’s junky?!?!?!
That’s it. I’m done. Shut it all down. No combination of words will ever match that masterpiece.
Callie, so intent on watching for Ada’s reaction, missing her crotch and pushing Duncan into the bed was fucking hilarious, her breaking character the cherry on top.
Two small but similar details I loved were Callie inadvertently spitting on Duncan when she stuck her tongue at him and a bit of her ejaculate spritzing onto Ada’s glasses. There is a kineticism to those moments that provide so much action to the shot with so little actually happening, and I wanted to let you know how impressive I find that.
I’ll say it again because it comes up again near the end, but I absolutely love Callie and Duncan going out of their way to fulfill the other’s fantasy. The fact Duncan initially found the idea uncomfortable but did not hesitate to do this for her was such a nice touch, just like Callie finding his foot fetish weird at first only for herself to get into it. Watching Callie watch Ada watch her was so gratifying, every time she moaned in response to Ada moaning forming the perfect punctuation mark to her efforts. It’s crazy how equal parts hot and wholesome the smut in this story is, and this chapter is a perfect exemplar of that.
That exchange with Dr. Catamaunt on the other hand … ominous. At first, I was panicking that Ada was working with the Evil Shrinking Syndicate (as they will henceforth be known until I get a real name for these people), but that doesn’t seem to be the case? It’s honestly unclear both what these two are up to and whether Ada is actively betraying her friends or naively following this doctor’s well-spoken whims (and I’m sure leaving us with all this uneasy uncertainty is your intention, ya jerk). And all that with Natasha at the end is worrying. You sure we can’t have one more wholesome smut chapter before shit hits the fan? Pretty please? I know the last three were that, but if you ask me, you still owe us for all of Callie and Dunky’s self-doubting we had to suffer through lol. (I kid, I kid. I’m really looking forward to where the plot’s heading and finding out what Natasha means by getting her life back on track).
Author's Response:
1,842 words. Not bad. Not bad at all!
I actually didn't settle on the chapter title until right before I posted the chapter. That's how it goes for a lot of the chapter titles, actually. I thought sultry showoffs was a fun way to tease the exhibitionism to come without actually giving anything away, and it sounds like that was the case for you. And I'm glad you noticed that this was the first time someone other than Callie or Duncan got their name in the chapter title. I was wondering if anyone would see that.
I remember you saying in a review that Kristie wasn't going to be the that tiny for Monica, and I laughed pretty hard when I read it. I think my first thought was something along the lines of "Just you wait, fucker! Just you wait." So yeah, you were right that Chekov's gun was definitely loaded when Monica came out to Duncan. I think the direction things are going in for Monica and Kristie is pretty clear at this point. But it brings a big smile to my phase to see you coming around to this particular pairing, especially after you pointed out some of the reasons why it looked like they would be the last two people to couple up pretty much until recently. That you said I "sold you on it" rather than "forced it on you" makes me feel really good about how this segment turned out.
I know you weren't a fan of how Monica went about "punishing" Kristie back in chapter seven (although I'm glad you could at least see why she did what she did), but that was always going to be the larger point. I never intended to justify what Monica did, and this was always going to eat away at her. She's been a tough, cold character for most of the story, even when she softened up a bit at times (like comforting Callie when Duncan was lost or embarrassing herself by doing what she did to Kristie in front of Duncan and Callie), so I wanted her to really break down so that we could see a different side of her. I like how it's turned out so far, and you pointing out how much heart she has and what a good person she is deep down because she can admit how terrible of a mistake she made really helps affirm how I feel about it.
You nailed it when you said that these two can uniquely understand what the other is going through. That's another reason Monica needed to do what she did to Kristie. Without the moral high ground getting in the way, she can completely relate to everything Kristie says here, from how amazing everything felt in the moment to all the guilt and regret that followed. If anyone was going to be able to empathize with Kristie, it was Monica. Perfect for each other is a nice way of putting it (we'll have to see if that holds up when it comes to the romantic stuff).
I'm so glad that Kristie being the one to try to snap Monica out of her stupor made sense to you. You're right that she's quite literally the only person whose words can absolve Monica and have a chance of taking the guilt away from her (maybe one day, but she's still feeling it regardless of what Krisite has said so far).
That you used the word "recontextualizes" was perfect! That's exactly what I've wanted to do with Kristie from the beginning. Even writing that rape scene in chapter two, I tried to incorporate some of the things she said to Monica here, hoping that they would read one way back then but a little differently now. I'm not sure how well I succeeded at that, but I can see how everything Kristie has done since she showed up tiny looks a little different now. I'm thrilled that someone actually feels that way. And yeah, it can be debated how much this changes what Monica did to her now that we know Kristie secretly wanted her to do it, but didn't know that, and now she knows that she's capable of that, even if it wasn't rape on a technicality. For her, that changes nothing.
As for Kristie, yeah, even if I wanted to (and I didn't), I couldn't have justified retconning her to have liked what Monica did. That would have made me feel dirty, and it would have cheapened a lot of the foundation upon which this very segment was built. I'm glad her saying that being forced inside Monica was hell really hit for you. And like I mentioned in the paragraph above, that you can look back at Kristie's past bitchiness and see the struggle going on inside her (I gave a slight hint of this during that one segment when she was inside Monica back in chapter seven) is so awesome! That's exactly what I was hoping for!
And thank you, by the way, for your compliments on how I navigated such complex issues. I'll admit that, despite wanting to go this route for quite some time, I had some doubt as to whether I could pull it off. So it means the world to me to see that someone thinks I did!
Not to sound like a broken record, but you calling Kristie's real recounting of Duncan's rape haunting, highlighting all the ways Kristie reflects that things could have went a different way or the nightmares she's having now, is just so gratifying to see. This whole thing could have easily blown up in my face if people just would have went, "No, fuck her! She's terrible and she did a terrible thing!" So seeing as how that isn't how this has been received so far, especially by you, who was (rightfully) quite firm in hating Kristie, is such a relief! I also love how your sympathy for Kristie is sort of channeled through Monica, who, as you (and I, just above) noted, is probably the only character who can directly relate to Kristie on this. And I humbly accept your blame for making you feel bad about Kristie despite what she did.
You're also right that this scene doesn't equal redemption for Kristie, but, as you also said, my hope was that this would set the stage for what's to come for her. I love that you were moved by Kristie's tears on Monica's shoulder. That's part of the fun of creating a strong, harsh character like Kristie is that those moments of weakness just hit different. Like, if they're that upset, you know they're serious about what they're saying. But yeah, how will Kristie make up for what she did? Can she even do that?
Who's to say?
Thanks for the compliment on writing body exploration. I actually wasn't sure how I was doing on that in either this chapter or the last one. I just want to avoid being redundant in those scenes, and I'm always a little self-conscious about that. And yeah, I tried to tie in both Monica's and Kristie's need for human contact and the comfort that comes with it to make that part of the scene work. I thought it would be nice to show Kristie wanting it in particular, given how she ended up rejecting it when Monica tried to give it to her last chapter (although Kristie leaned into her touch at first).
But my favorite comment in your whole review is that "Kristie still feels like Kristie." That was really important to me, given how tricky it can be having a character like her open up and show her softer side. The swearing and abrasiveness on her part just made sense to me. They're a layer of protection she's put up against the world, but they've also held her back and kept her from getting the only things she's ever really wanted: Love, acceptance, and a place to truly call home.
I laughed pretty hard at you saying the boob jiggling was your favorite part of the opening segment! No shame needed on your part, though. We'll just chalk this up to another victory for tits over plot and character development! Maybe if I write a story were tits are the main characters ...
As for the Ada, Duncan, and Callie stuff, I'm happy that Duncan's explanation to Ada made all of this make sense to you. That conversation had a couple purposes, as I also wanted to close that loose end about Ada having feelings for Duncan before. This scene would have read very differently had that question been left open, I think, so I'm glad that this conversation explained Callie's fetish well and that the possibility of Ada holding on to feeling for Duncan hasn't even been mentioned by a reviewer. I'm calling that mission accomplished!
Your "awakening" bit had me rolling, too. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it reminded me of Dean Pelton from Community and that classic line, "This better not awaken anything in me." The skimpy outfit Callie wore to give the middle finger to Stillwell does tie in well with this, doesn't it. Honestly, though, I was more thinking about Alyssia watching as Duncan was giving Callie the time of her life in her panties when writing this scene. I think this is one of those things that manifested itself before I even realized it!
Yeah, I agree with you on the peak relationship goals thing! There's something about accepting everything about your partner, even that stuff they keep hidden in their soul closets (everybody has one of those, right?) that just melts my heart. And I think it's understandable that a ... motivated Callie can only come off as even hotter than before.
I forgot you were pulling for an Alyssia/Ada pairing. I actually put that line in to differentiate between Ada finding the scene happening in front of her hot and developing actual feeling/being attracted to her friends. She was loving what was happening in front of her, and her friends just happen to be really hot, but she's not into them that way. It just so happens that Callie has some nice titties and Ada conveniently enjoyed the way they bounced about as Callie took her shirt off. That's all. So yeah, I kind of felt like I was walking a bit of tightrope here, and lines like this were designed to make sure certain lines weren't crossed.
Of course, that line does still shut down your hopes and dreams. It was an accident, though, I swear! If I had remembered you were shipping those two together, I'd have drawn things out a lot longer before ruining it for you!
Despite those "misunderstandings" she went through when she first came on the scene, I'm so happy that people are still loving Ada! I'm glad you find her relatable and that you are enjoying her blossoming friendship with Callie and Duncan (she's getting kind of tight with Alyssia, too, but there hasn't really been a ton of places to show that yet). And yeah, Callie was so excited about what they were going to do that she was slightly careless when she bumped that end table (although she's also the most used to Duncan and he wasn't in any trouble, so maybe it wasn't quite as careless as it seemed?). I did like adding things like her picking him up before sitting and even calling out his name even though he couldn't be heard from outside the room to show how much she tries to make him feel included and respected. While she's close with Callie as well, Duncan really is her best friend.
Poor Ada; Pornhub doesn't cut it for her anymore. It's sad, isn't it? I'd comment on whether or not her situation on this front ever improves, but it's much more fun for me to leave you in the dark with excessive vagueness!
I'm glad you enjoyed the little role play. It wasn't quite like Naila and Justine's time with the former's pets in Twin Sizes, but I did feel like there was a tiny bit of the same energy in this scene, albeit mine was also a lot sillier than yours, too. And as soon as I had the idea to tie Duncan to Callie's fingers, hand puppet Duncan was happening! It was too fucking cute of a thought to not do. I also enjoyed his half-assed first offering, and I thought it set up him going hard on his second attempt pretty well. I like that you were touched by that whole exchange with Ada instinctively reaching to help and Duncan "waving" her off with a smile.
I love that you found Callie playing the cruel, evil giantess so satisfying! I thought it both played off her actual personality quite well (it's cute seeing her try to play something she's clearly not) and fed into that domination kick she finally admitted to having in the last chapter. It was also so much fun to write! That bit where she missed shoving Duncan inside herself because she was so focused on the eye contact thing she had going on with Ada made me laugh when I thought of it too! Her cursing at herself as she tried again, man I'm glad that one hit, because I enjoyed it so much!
As much as I'd like to take credit for "Dunky's junky," I can't. Credit goes to MXP for using it in a chat. As soon as he used it, I told him I was stealing that shit and did so immediately!
Kineticism is such a fun and flattering word (at least the way you used it here). I really enjoy adding little details like the spit when Callie stuck her tongue out like that. To me, it makes the interactions feel more real. And Callie using Duncan to fling her womanly juices in Callie's face just seemed so flashy to me, something I would think someone trying to put on a show would do to tantalize her audience, and I wanted that to be a moment that showed that Callie was fully embracing her fetish, taking control and not letting her nerves get the best of her. I also just thought it was hot.
Yeah, I like how Duncan didn't hesitate when he had the chance to reciprocate what Callie had just done for him in the last chapter too, but I wanted to make sure it felt like a natural want on his part: He was into the idea of making her feel as good as she made him feel when she embraced his foot fetish, rather than this coming off as a quid pro quo kind of thing. That was a big concern on my part when writing this. That you started talking about this by noting how Callie and Duncan are going out of their way to fulfill each other's fantasies makes me feel better about how this came off.
I'm also thrilled that Ada being a part of this smut worked for you too, with her reactions mirroring Callie's being a selling point for you. I didn't want her to feel like a prop just sitting in the room while the action was going on, so it was great to see that you found Callie watching Ada watching her (I love the way you worded that, by the way) so hot.
Wholesome smut? Have I stumbled upon a new market? But seriously, I took you calling my smut as wholesome as it is hot as a high compliment! I love that! I didn't even plan it that way. That's just how these characters are, which I love!
Evil Shrinking Syndicate? Not the worst name I've heard. I'm glad you're unsure about whether Dr. Catamaunt and Ada are involved in all this shrinking stuff after that segment. And yes, I feed off your uneasy uncertainty, so of course I meant to leave it like that! I like that you used the word ominous to describe that scene as well. Going vague always makes me wonder if I'll end up hitting the vibe I want for a scene, but based on your reaction, this one worked perfectly!
And man, I finally, finally worked Natasha into a scene, and now you want me to put her back in the box and do more smut instead? Poor Natasha. You're a heartless one, you know!
But yeah, we'll find out what Natasha meant by that next chapter, and I'll even be generous and say that some answers are going to finally start coming in over the next few chapters. So if it's plot you want, buckle up!
Date: December 12 2024 10:00 PM Title: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
You never disappoint! That was a great chapter. I love your character dynamics. I am also impressed with what to me was a fresh approach to a "naughty scene". And of course a nice cliff hanger. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks, man! It's always good to hear from you!
That comment about a fresh approach is particularly appreciated. I really want each smut scene in this story to feel different both from smut I've read in other stories and stuff I've already written earlier in the story, so you saying that really made me feel good!