Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: May 24 2025 7:50 AM Title: Chapter 13 - The Walls We Build Around Us

First, I'd like to respectfully disagree with sundown here. I get where he's coming from, but I personally love the pacing of this story. The letters for the word "anticipate" are starting to wear down from how many times I've typed it reviewing this story so far, and that's a good thing. I'm enjoying this Ben and Angie stuff so much because of the slower pacing and buildup. I've been waiting for it, and now I feel rewarded for my patience. Instant gratification isn't always best.

Also, you've been putting out chapters daily and they aren't super long. If you were on chapter 13 with each chapter being 10K words or longer (who writes chatpers that long anyw ... oh, right), then yeah, I'd say taking that long to get to this scene would be an issue. But you're not even to 15K words for the story yet, so I don't think this is an issue.

Now, if the story ends in the next three to five chapters, then I might change my mind on that. But I have no doubt that, now that we're here, we're going to have plenty of fun interaction between Ben and Angie.

Okay, with that out of the way, holy shit! This chapter was fantastic!

Ben's eyes are opening up right in front of us, and it's beautiful. He started seeing a softer side to her last chapter, but he's finally starting to understand that he's misjudged her all this time. That's already pretty satisfying in its own right, even if the desire to see Angie find out the truth will taunt me until it finally happens (which is what makes this particular trope so delicious!). 

I'm falling for Angie already! She's so sweet and kind, but she's been hiding that behind a confidence that's never been real, and that's so relatable. Her façade had Ben completely fooled, and that has made things so much harder for the both of them. It's a defense mechanism on her part, but now she's always on the defensive.

I get it, though. Just from her saying that her parents think debate, the thing she loves more than anything, is a waste of time implies that her family isn't the most supportive. I could see her fighting for recognition and approval constantly at home, and of course that's going to carry over to her school life. That also makes me think back to when Ben made that comment about taking responsibility that hurt Angie back in chapter one. He didn't realize it, but that comment probably tapped into some old wounds left behind by disapproving parents.

I was wondering why these two were like this to each other, and that neither one can remember exactly what it was they disagreed about shows just how silly these rivalries and grudges can be. More importantly, Angie's defensiveness came out of her thinking she had offended Ben, when really he was just impressed with her. Such a small misunderstanding has kept both of them from enjoying a friendship (and possibly something more) that would have enriched both their lives.

I loved hearing Angie say that Morgan always has her back. I felt that way about Morgan and Ben, so it's nice to know that Morgan is an impartial friend to both of them. It makes her comments about Angie in the last chapter feel more legitimate, and this impartiality from her might be needed at some point to help bring Ben and Angie together.

This whole interaction between Angie and Ben, from start to finish is as sweet as it is awesome! Their banter is so fun, and seeing their nerves gradually melt away as they fell into a routine and got into the session was great!

Then we get into the ethically dubious part of the conversation.

I get that this is a tough spot for Ben to be in, but him steering the conversation toward Angie's teammates and giving her advice on how to approach him is a bit iffy, to say the least. At this point, the anonymity isn't just protecting him but giving him a grossly unfair advantage as he guides Angie. To be clear, I don't think he has any ill intent, and I don't think he even realizes that he's taking advantage of the situation, but yeah, if I were her, I'd be pretty pissed thinking back to this conversation once I learned the truth. I'd feel a little violated, like I opened myself up to a stranger, only to find out that it was the very person I was struggling with. I'd feel like a fool.

Yep, Ben's going to have a tough time once the truth comes out.

And that's not a complaint. This makes things so much more interesting. Now I want to see how Angie applies his advice, how Ben handles seeing her once they're the same size again for the first time, and how Angie handles finding out Ben's secret now that there's some new emotional drama attached to it.

Oh, and I liked the part where Ben kind of lost himself massaging Angie's skin. I feel like this was another one of those moments where the size difference overwhelmed him a bit, and he started thinking of Angie as more than she actually it. That's a pretty cool effect, and, unlike the staff at Tiny Treatments, I'd be thrilled to see more of that!

Wonderful job with this chapter! It's living up to all the anticipation and buildup from the previous chapters for sure! I'm loving this!

Author's Response:

Actually, I had already considered making my chapters a bit longer so he did make a reasonable point! I have plenty to work with so I can afford to make some longer chapters down the line.

There's still so much to get around to that doesn't even involve Angie herself as the story goes on, like the other relationships Ben has with his friends and especially Morgan, that I'll need to pace the chapters accordingly.

It's really nice to hear that you like Angie as she is, I wanted her to have some slight personal issues that weren't sob-story level but real enough to possibly relate to, as far as family goes. And there's of course the rivalry itself, how one misunderstanding or bad communication leads to a wall between two people. They're still a long way off to reconciling but this is more or less the start.

I don't want to spoil the story, but you are right on that front since it's easy enough to guess that's exactly what might happen. He's definitely in for a bit of a rough time when the truth comes out, whenever that happens. You can guess that Angie wouldn't exactly let that kind of thing slide right away. And you probably understand Benjamin's character well enough at this point to know all the reasons why he's hiding it. But he definitely is taking advantage to learn all of her secrets, and it's not even intentional!

Appreciate the review and analysis, as always!