Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04 2025 4:57 AM Title: Chapter 23 - Divine Wisdom

I'm playing catch-up on the last two chapters, so I wanted to start the review of this chapter by talking about the Savannah stuff in the previous chapter for a second.

I was pleasantly surprised to see him take Morgan's advice and trust his friends with his secret. Telling Savannah (and coming soon: Dustin) his secret was a bold move and not one seen often in the "I have a secret" genre, but I really like that he went this route. And it paid off, too! She had some stellar advice for him. Hell, after the initial shock and a quick thought about him being tiny, she really didn't even care about the whole Tiny Treatments thing. She just wanted to help him out with his bigger problems.

Of course, there was that initial reaction. Assuming the Chen family has the same kind of money Morgan and Angie's families have, I could see her scheduling an appointment and requesting Ben as her tiny technician. She would have a blast fucking with him, I think. Innocently, of course, but still, I think she's at least tempted to mess with him at that size at least once. That's not a prediction, though, as I could easily see that not happening. But even as kind and genuine as she is, that bubbly, mischievous streak in her might want to come out and play.

Oh, and the way Sav said that she knows Angie isn't the type of person to let her anger lead to violence against Ben makes me think she knows Angie a lot better than she's letting on. Angie already hinted that she's tighter with Morgan than Ben realized, so I could see Savannah being really tight with her, too. Ben has been too wrapped up in his rivalry to realize that all of his friends are friends with her, too, which probably would have told him something if he had noticed that.

Lastly on the last chapter, I thought you did a great job with the whole sneaky conversation in class thing. Mr. Paulson was a lingering presence throughout the chapter, and I found myself starting to get annoyed with him for having the audacity to try to teach when I'm trying to listen to this super interesting conversation! I loved the way you worked him in at random intervals and kept him suspicious. Awesome job with that!

As for this chapter, man, that first segment was fun!

I love how Savannah got him to engage Angie with that thing about important conversations, then immediately ditched him for "Yearbook Committee" (that's the same energy I was talking about when I said she might schedule an appointment with Ben). I was laughing with her as she walked away there! That was mean in the kindest way possible! I'm really starting to like Sav!

And that talk with Angie was handled very well, I thought. It was awkward, but it's clear that both of them are trying to change the nature of their rivalry. They can't let it go just yet, but they're trying (maybe too hard) to move past it and be cordial with one another. And those little "does she know?" lines are perfect! Much like the last time we saw Angie, I'm really wondering whether or not she's figured things out on her own. And with Ben not following the standard rules for this kind of thing in fiction (namely telling people his secret without being forced to), I really feel like anything's possible at this point!

Also, I have to ask, is Maggie in school? She's 17, if I remember right, so how could she work the morning shift at McDonalds if it was a school day? That one threw me off a little bit.

Maggie teasing Ben will never not be fun to read! I l loved her excitement when she guessed that Ben had been stepped up, and his reaction to that was perfect.

But even besides that, Maggie knowing that Morgan loved Ben and that Ben is into Angie is interesting. I get that Ben didn't know any of that, but seeing her so in tune with her brother's life shows how close these two siblings really are!

This is instantly one of my favorite pieces of dialogue I have ever read:

"So how do I tell Angie the truth without getting squished or humiliated?"

I love how "squished" and "humiliated" are mentioned in equal measure here! Fucking hilarious! Also, both legitimate concerns, unless Savannah is to be believed!

And wow, Savannah had some good advice, but Maggie ... well, she should teach a fucking class on confessions and apologies. Ben was right, she's way too smart for McDonalds!

I hadn't even considered the professional environment thing. Maggie is entirely right here. Despite the size difference, Tiny Treatments is probably the safest place for him to tell Angie the truth, even at three inches tall. Not that I expect Angie to get physical (or if she does, only very slightly), but if something were to happen, he's got that panic button that was introduced to the story and has yet to be used (Chekov's gun and all!).

And that whole "victim of her potential reaction, not the perpetrator of your original deception" thing is fucking genius! Actually all of Maggie's advice is designed to make the conversation all about Angie's feelings and not at all about why Ben did what he did. And honestly, unless she asks, he probably shouldn't tell her why. Like Maggie said, all that does is make it all about him. Explaining makes it feel like he's just doing this to keep her from getting pissed before she finds out later on her own. Very clever, Maggie!

Also, I don't know why, but when she pointed that chip at Ben to make her point, I found that adorable!

So it looks like we might get to see Morgan's English presentation that she's so stressed about and hear fun "theories" on what's been up with Ben from Dustin. Actually, it would be funny as fuck if Dustin's theory was that Ben was working at Tiny Treatments. Like Ben is expecting this far-fetched story, and then Dustin comes in and clocks it perfectly! I doubt that's what will happen, but man that would hilarious.

But yeah, I'm really intrigued to see Ben and Morgan interact again. He's really stressing out about it, so that should ensure that everything is nice and super awkward! I wonder if Morgan feels the same way or if she's excited to see him now that everything is out there.

Finally, Ben is really convinced that Angie is going to be furious when she finds out the truth, which makes me think that's not how it's going to go down. I'm still of the opinion that she figured it out and won't be surprised at all when he reveals himself to her. She might even appreciate the fact that he did it himself instead of her having to call him out. I could be way off here, but just with all the prep everyone is giving him to avoid her being angry and to not stress because even angry she wouldn't hurt him and even Ben's own thoughts implying that she's going to squish him like a bug once she finds out, I think her reaction is going to be something other than that.

I'm loving the slow burn here and all this buildup continues to be great! It seems like we've got another chapter or two before the big appointment, so we're getting close to the BIG reveal. I'm getting excited for it! 

Author's Response:

About the secret. I feel like if Ben kept things a secret for too long from his friends, then it would be harder to write around it as he has to keep being mysterious, which also limits interactions when the entire story is focused around the fact that Ben works at a shrinking salon, so I felt like it was a good time to get them up to speed so they could pitch in and help their friend out. It made more sense to me that Angie would be the very last one to actually find out, instead of the other way around.

Angie is of course a part of the friends group, and she's always been on good terms with everyone except Ben, kind of. So it makes sense that they know her a bit better in some ways than he does.

I thought up Savannah as the one girl that isn't involved in any dramatic shenanigans, which means she's the fun-loving outlier of the group, and I think she came out pretty enjoyable even if she has no romantic attachment to Ben. (didn't want to create one of those stories where every single girl is into the MC) you can expect a short little subplot with her too.

Honestly good question on the Maggie thing. She is still in school! But I never went into detail on how she worked out with the school that she can work in the morning on some days and catch up on homework later. That's a bit of an oversight on my part, since she's a part-time workaholic working to support her mom, but I failed to bring her school days into play on top of that. I should probably add something to that so it makes sense.

Either Ben will be completely right, or completely wrong, but he does know Angie pretty well debate-wise to know how she'd react!

Glad the slow burn is still alright for you. I'm trying to get to the appointment in time without compromising the pace of the story too much, but it's on the way. Probably on Friday or so. :)

 

Reviewer: EchoofZen Signed [Report This]
Date: June 03 2025 9:59 AM Title: Chapter 23 - Divine Wisdom

This is getting kinda drawn out, isn't it? Here's hoping tomorrow the day he comes clean instead of talking to another of his friends.

Author's Response:

In a way, it is! But I tend to stress fairly often that my stories are slow burns, and there's always a lot of conversations and interactions inbetween these things instead of just, you know, getting straight to the 'good stuff'.

I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea though, but I feel like I'd be ruining the story I want to tell if I just skip everything and not give a bunch of characters their own time to talk and give their thoughts, like Ben's friend group reacting to his secret and helping him out, or Morgan dealing with how she feels, that kind of stuff. I feel like I can't go against myself by speeding things up just to get to those big events a lot sooner than I want to, you know? 

I hope you'll still keep enjoying the story regardless, even if the pacing is a bit slow!