Reviewer: Divediveburners Signed [Report This]
Date: March 10 2022 7:03 PM Title: Rescue

This is a doorstopper, that's for sure. I had to keep turning the page. Your story is very dynamic. At first, I thought it was some fun muscly murder-wife snuff and smut. Then, it turned into a giant conspiracy of another set of people who get drunk off of power. And that's the great irony you've masterfully set-up, the Amita's aren't any different than the human's they've condemned.

I admit that I felt Eren's character was a bit flat at first, he came across as a mere object for Jisoo's desires. It's late in the story that he fully develops as a character, and serves as a catalyst for Jisoo's change. He doesn't appear as murderous as that other Eren.

It's quite a tragic tale, particularly for Thomas, who was the character I was rooting for the most. He was resourceful, compassionate and reasonable. He was David facing off against Goliath, and it was sobering to see our David get crushed. It's necessary for the story, like Eddard Stark in GoT, but you just had to root for the man for his happy ending. Props on you for that, even though his sister was the punching bag for the first chapter.

Author's Response:

I think the first fifteen or so chapters of the Deliverance kept building mysteries on top of mysteries then those questions were answered but revealed new mysteries, and it just snowballed. It keeps readers not only entertained but constantly wanting to see what happens next and looking forward to the next update every weekend (or every other weekend depending on my schedule lmao)

Eren absolutely was the most flat character at the start of the story, I completely agree (ironically I think that makes this Eren pretty similar to tatake tatake Eren who only started to get more development way later into that series). Early on a big theme for him was that he was a relatively normal person who did not know anything about Jisoo except for that she saved his life, so she latched onto that and wanted to keep him safe no matter what. Afterwards he started to get his character development in the background with everything that happened with Maddie and Eureka, and even then I think he wasn't as interesting to the readers as Maddie was especially after she found Maeve and had a change of heart. Now that he's had his eyes opened so to speak by one of the main antagonists, he's finally a character! Too bad he's in a pretty sticky situation now. 

Thomas was definitely a very popular character who I think is most aptly described as being a kind of Eddard Stark in that he's a fairy tale like hero who comes in to save the day and has so much going for him, but afterwards his death causes massive repercussions throughout the rest of the story. He's definitely a person who will be important in all future events that happen if posthumously since there was a time where he was the main character of the story next to Jisoo.

Thanks for the awesome feedback!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: March 03 2022 11:28 AM Title: Rule

Their success is predetermined, huh?

Yeah, right!  And the Mongolian research center was totally impenetrable to intruders.

Author's Response: Pride comes before fall as they say!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: February 20 2022 10:39 PM Title: Reincarnation

And the countdown to the show-down begins!  :-)

Author's Response:

Let it begin!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: February 17 2022 5:59 PM Title: Remembrance

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response:

Another big reveal chapter! I don't know if anybody anticipated this outcome but i'm happy to see it's had the intended effect!

Reviewer: lightwing Signed [Report This]
Date: February 07 2022 10:31 PM Title: Revocation

Well this chapter started dark.  I recall another story with similar kitchen scene, only that was told from the perspective of the tiny humans being prepared.  Anyway, it's kind of amusing to me that Grace will happily eat specks alive and whole but becomes squeamish when she sees them butchered like that in the sushi or would have to bite the live ones in half rather than swallow them whole.  Seems like her conditioning missed a spot.

And Jisoo.  Oh my, she really screwed up here didn't she.  But at the same time, and the other reviews mentioned this, she was brainwashed and Eren is causing it to come undone.  Also, I foresee a fight between Grace and Jisoo.  Grace firmly believes in the cause and loves Jisoo but Jisoo's having second thoughts thanks to Eren.  On another note, it looks like the Buddha has a surprise for everyone.

This story has become a full length novel and I love every bit of it.

Author's Response:

I believe that story you are referring to may be one of Inwiththebook's stories perhaps, it was about an elven establishment that served humans as food! That was definitely the inspiration for the opening of this chapter and an opportunity to write hard vore. Exciting news is that at some point the two sushi chefs may get their own spin-off story, nothing is concrete obviously but its very likely.

Reviewer: kenrios Signed [Report This]
Date: February 06 2022 4:03 AM Title: Revocation

Oh, wow. What chapter. It is just as I imagined. Those feelings of Eren finally erupted when he found out about Maddie. Jisoo sentenced Maddie to a life of being Riuwen's pet and that was finally the straw that broke the camel's back. Jisoo had to get drunk in order to hurt Eren. It's amazing, after all that those two felt together for Jisoo it was more important her "Heavenly Duties" than the person she once loved. It's hard for me to believe right now that Jisoo has feelings for Eren. As always said that woman is a very contradictory character.

But, also as always the suspense. That "golden flash" that launched the Buddha statue on Jisoo that knocked her down. Oh wow that was unexpected. In the previous chapter, Jisoo's sister or mother was seen in front of a Buddha statue, meditating. Umm what a mystery hahaha just as I expected from the end of this chapter. Well, nothing. To wait for the next one.

Kardo, side note, I saw on the Discord channel that you had some health problems with Covid-19. I just hope you get better soon friend and I don't know if it will help you much but they say that Omicron (the variant of coronavirus that is circulating now) is more virulent but less aggressive than Delta. I also had coronavirus although it only lasted a week in which I was asymptomatic and treated with Interferon. Good health and thanks again for not discontinuing this work. I know you're going to great lengths to bring this to us.

Author's Response:

I greatly appreciate your concern for my health! I had the omicron variant which has given me a very persistent cough which restricts my ability to speak properly. This chapter took so long to come out mostly because I was recovering for quite some time; it hit me harder than most other omicron cases do. But not to worry I should be back to normal and able to write at the normal schedule once again of every one to two weeks on weekends!

Reviewer: InscrutableDjinn Signed [Report This]
Date: January 26 2022 9:37 AM Title: Renewal

Ok, so now that a lot more of "the plan" has been laid out I have a few things to say. This story has gone off the rails into the realm of sheer, absurd stupidity. Jisoo and all of her batshit crazy family are a bunch of hypocrites (as has been reiterated upon many times over). They claim they want a perfect world, and will secure their rule by not trying to fix wrongs in the world but to greatly exacerbate them in the hopes that all those that suffer from their actions don't hate them for it. To go from creating specks with the sole reason being making the rest of humanity despise and brutalize them, only to plan to microspeck the rest and have them be at the mercy of normal speck is incredibly stupid in so many ways. For example, the current specks currently survive on the meager handouts of normal people and society. If all of that society and people are turned to microspecks then they all starve. Unless the Amrita corp is somehow able to reach and feed, clothe and otherwise support everyone on the planet the death toll will be in the billions. In which case it might be more humane to just release a bioweapon to kill them instead of messing around with shrinking so they all have to suffer in one way or another. I guess at this point I'm just confused at all the problems they're creating, instead of solving for their "perfect" world, which by all evidence is in reality more of a tyrannical police state built on hatred of each other to avoid hatred of the cause of the architects of it all. I'm a little curious if the Amrita corp has their employees sign in with a sieg-heil before they goose step their way to the office with plans to destroy the human race. I hate to be so critical of a once great storyline but while there may be some mildly interesting drama left to unfold the reasoning and basis for a lot of it grows weaker with every chapter.

The only good thing about this chapter is how Eren seems to have grown a spine and a shred of a conscience. Which while refreshing is starkly in opposition to his behavior and reactions to all of this happening before. He defends Alice and her brother now, but in the moment and after watching their execution all he could muster was a whole bunch of "meh, they were bad I guess." I find his indignation to be justified, however I also find it to be wholly out of character.

Author's Response:

"This story has gone off the rails into the realm of sheer, absurd stupidity." 

So I actually really like more critical reviews but I think that's just very mean and not exactly constructive. On to your review itself I do disagree with your analysis for a couple of reasons, but I definitely like discussing about it in a mutually respectful way. I don't think you really understand that the Amrita Corporation or why a lot of characters act how they do. The Amrita Corporation isn't actually trying to make the world a better place. It wants world domination. However they cannot outright come out and say that to all their members and employees, since obviously some people would disagree. Therefore they say that humans are evil, or that it is all for the greater good, or that their family members are gods and have a divine right to rule. 

Some characters like Jisoo, Ruiwen, and Grace fall into the category of believing that they are gods are have the right to do whatever they want to humanity since they think they know better than them. And for Jisoo, it's also because she fundamentally hates ordinary people. Jisoo being a hypocrite isn't really a criticism, since that is a part of who she is as a character. She is supposed to be a hypocrite at this point in her development.

Other characters like Xiangling, Lianfei and Lukas on the other hand don't see the Amrita Corporation as doing it all for the greater good, but support it because they as individuals will greatly benefit from it. Lianfei who married into the family will be given lots of power, as would Xiangling who worked for the company then had a relationship with Grace, and Lukas has the opportunity to be one of the humans not shrunken by Operation Deliverance and also gain a lot of power money and influence. This is one reason why lots of Amrita Corporation employees do what they do, because they know if they are victorious they and their families would have a lot to benefit, which in addition to a very careful vetting process explains why they are loyal. Then finally you have Satsuki. She is a character who makes it very clear that she understands what the Amrita Corporation is doing if they claim to be saviors is hypocritical. The entire point of her conversation with Eren in a previous chapter was to make it very clear that the true purpose of the Amrita Corporation is world domination, but she goes through with it anyways without caring about the supposed justifications because she thinks they are a waste of time, since she just wants to be a god-queen and have power. 

As for your point about Eren, try to put yourself in his shoes. You are in love with a woman, but now have seen her darker side. Sure she killed some people, but those were two people who he barely knew and one of them tried to kill him and the other defended his would be killer. So he can look past that for the most part. However Maddie is someone who he considers a friend, is his boss, and he has seen her change of heart. Obviously when Maddie is in trouble, it will be much more impactful, and it happens right after Satsuki reveals everything to him so he is especially sensitive to that right there and then. There has been no precedent for him before like this, so I disagree with your assertion that it is 'out of character' for him to have a reaction like that. 

Like I said I welcome all criticism but I also really don't appreciate the unnecessary statement at the start, and don't really agree with your points although I do believe everybody is entitled to their views on something. However if you think the story has gone off the rails, trust me it only gets worse from here. 

Reviewer: MickShh Signed [Report This]
Date: January 25 2022 5:44 AM Title: Renewal

Great chapter. Eren seems to be back to his normal self. Was wondering when he would realize how evil they were. 

If what Jisoo said is actually their true plan, it makes sense in a truly gross and cruel way, like Hitler wanting lebensraum for his "people". I feel as though the people of this world are too complacent though. Unless there was some kind of mind altering, I feel like this would've been figured out by many many more people. Just looking at today, powerful entities are held under such a microscope by every-day people, I feel like the Amrita Corp would've imploded. But that's just me. I assume you have explanations for these things coming as they're huge loopholes. 

But as of now it's pretty slated that Amrita corp are essentially people who have literal god complexes and are Zedong's. 

I'm really interested in where you're going to take this.  

Author's Response:

There actually is a canon explanation as to why they can get away with so much which has kinda sorta been talked about before! Next chapter talks about it a lot more though, but there are abilities of the Fang Sisters Descendants behind just shrinking people and super strength.

Reviewer: lightwing Signed [Report This]
Date: January 24 2022 9:23 PM Title: Renewal

Wow.  Glad Eren and Jisoo had that conversation.  Also Satsuki, what a schemer.  As for the Amrita Corp's big plan, I want them to succeed.  Honestly, I want their plan to come to pass but then I want it to work TOO well.  There are always unforeseen and unexpected things that have ways of messing up carefully laid plans.  Even when they work, if they work more than they were supposed to, that's a problem.  Their reason for allowing specks to be mistreated, the whole divide and conquer idea may work too well and nothing gets done or too many die fighting each other.  The population loss from causing a second worldwide Diminution might cause too many casualties as well.  The environmental damage from critical infrastructure falling apart or going into meltdown would be problematic, people shrinking during winter and freezing, etc.  It reminds me of what happened after the bubonic plague: if it's too effective and there are not enough people left to keep everything running, the balance of power shifts and the old power structure falls apart.

Every chapter that comes out leaves me more excited than before!

Author's Response:

Fun fact about the bubonic plague, it is the only time in human history since the Neolithic Revolution where there was a dip in the population. Around ten percent of the world died which is insane, I am very thankful to be born into a world with air conditioning, modern hygiene and streaming services.

Reviewer: Ralgar Signed [Report This]
Date: January 24 2022 5:29 AM Title: Renewal

Well Jisoo looks like u finally have to face your hipocracy as well as your families,.  Poor Maddie though it looks like she maybe ok for the time being.  Now what about poor Maeve.

Author's Response: So I’ll admit I don’t know science well enough to know how someone that small would do in the cold for a prolonged period of time, but hopefully she’s alright!