Date: April 15 2021 12:13 AM Title: CH1. Evicted
I have not read a story this good in a while. As the others said try not to overwork yourself as it usually leads to burnouts (and sometimes abandoning the whole thing especially when life gets a little more busy and personaly this is one of those stories that i just don't want to see abandoned ;p). Seriously, good work!
Author's Response:
Thank you, I'm glad to have done good enough to earn a review! Thankfully I don't have to worry about burnout or abandonment with this story anytime soon: I live by others expectations and strive to meet them. If I abandon this story, I'd have to hid my face for the rest of my days!
In all seriousness, I will be spacing out my uploads going forward (its not because of the Stellaris update, I swear!) so burnout shouldn't be an issue!
Date: April 14 2021 9:20 PM Title: CH1. Evicted
First off I want to say this a great story and I've been enjoying it very much. The concept is great and I like that you've been able to find a new take on a story format thats been around for a while. Both of the protagonists are being developed very well and I can't wait to see where the story goes.
With that being said there are a few things that I think could be worked on. One thing in particular being the references to real world things that have been slightly changed to hold a new name it just seems a little out of place, if this was a show or movies with visuals I think that could work, but for a story (or at least to me) it pulls the reader out of it.
Another thing I've noticed is there are quite a few moments where something is written but could've been left out the first of which being when Ryan goes to the gym for the first time and instead of showing us what the gym is like or what he does there it is replaced with a line having us think of an 80's montage and instead we focus on afterwards when he goes to the store. While a wouldn't say a lot of time was spent setting up the gym it certainly wasn't a little. If the point getting Ryan out of the house was so he could go to the store then having him tell Lena that he wanted to go to the store would've worked just as well.
Additonally I feel like we're being told everything instead of getting the opportunity to form our own thoughts and predictions. It's been established that both characters have a crush on each other without the other knowing it feels unnecessary and repeative to constantly remind us that they having feelings for on another. We the readers don't need to know every single thought the characters have, we can infer if we're given the chance.
This one is more a personal pet peeve but the was texts are formatted just doesn't match with the rest of the story and personally pulls me out of it.
Those are just a few things I've noticed that I think could possibly improve the quailty of the story. Once again I think this a great story and I'm exicited to see where it goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you for dropping a review and I'm glad you're enjoying the story! I'm always hapty to hear some feedback on things like what you've touched on, so I feel I should touch on them here.
Changing the real world names was initially going to just be the games, which were pretty much entirely made up anyway. Multycoon is a tycoon game with multiple tycoons in one game for instance. I agree with you in regards to the movie though, and I'll probably just change that to Avengers when I put out the next chapter in a few days.
I didn't really go into depth with the gym simply because I personally don't go to gyms, so I don't know what sounds realistic. I work outdoors for a living so I never really needed to. That and there weren't any events at the gym that would change or impact the story. I only ever mentioned that he went to the gym at all because I wanted to establish that Ryan was in good shape without directly stating as such. I'll probably remove the 80's montage thing though, It is a bit jarring. I'll replace it with a brief summary.
Your third point: the way I wanted this story to unfold was through the thoughts and actions of the characters. And people tend to think a lot. And when you're crushing hard, you frequently think about that fact and wondering if the other is thinking about you just as much as you are thinking about them. Since we're in their thoughts so much, if I suddenly stop mentioning something that is running through their heads all day it implies that they've stopped thinking of it. And usually what they're thinking of when not thinking about eachother is a game or whatever they're eating or whatever. While I agree that readers can infer information, there are some things I'd rather not get misconstrued so I state them bluntly.
I agree with your comment on the texts they have in the group chat, but its something that will be used more sparingly from here on out, as I've used them as I'd wanted to.
Thank you for the feedback, and I hope you look forward to the next chapter!
PS: You can dm me if you'd like to counterpoint my counterpoints
Date: April 14 2021 6:24 PM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
I've been waiting for a new chapter, and what do I see? Yet another simply splendid chapter! Really loved the irony of them both having crushes on eachother, and overthinking about it. It makes me s q u e a l. Keep up the good work, but certainly don't burn yourself out! I haven't been this excited on a story in giantessworld.net since... well, ever! Your writing is miles ahead of the droves upon droves of smut stories on this site (Not to discount them, though!) and the comedy sprinkled in is simply amazing. You somehow manage to inject comedy in seemingly simple things, and really make the world alive and even relatable! A great example of this, I think, are the made-up videogame and movie names.
Good luck with writing more!
Author's Response:
I'm glad I'm keeping you interested, your reviews are very much welcome! Your praise brought a massive smile to my face when I first read it, and I'm still smiling. Seriously, high praise!. I decided to make up video games and movies instead of using real ones so people didn't 100% know what they were doing, but got a general idea of what was going on. That and I found it funny lol.
Thank you again!
[Report This]Date: April 14 2021 6:22 PM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
This is proceeding wonderfully! I love every chapter! And while I really cannot wait to see the romance between them blossom, I know that it will be all the sweeter for having had so much savory development between the two. I am beginning to feel heavily invested in their relationship and want it to go well! I can feel their nerves as they work through their near-identical feelings and fears with regard to one another. It's good stuff! And even better, I just know that whenever you do eventually get around to exploring lewdness between them, it'll be well-earned and entirely organic feeling. I can hardly wait! But I'm also thrilled to see you taking so much care in filling these characters and their relationship out naturally before diving into such things. I can tell you cut your teeth on writing other fiction before.
I enjoyed every conversation and every scene. I especially appreciated their little accident near the end. I imagine it will provide interesting fruit for conversations later! Or at least food for Ryan's thoughts!
Anyway still a 10/10. Relishing the slow burn. And shocked and impressed at so many words per chapter in so little tone, though I can relate to the process.
eager for more! Signing off!
- Xiao
Author's Response:
Thank you again for another splendid review! I'm happy to hear that people are really vibing with Ryan and Lena's relationship, they're surprisingly easy to write, even if I have to push them a little bit to get them places in a timely fashion. One thing I knew I wanted to do with this story was to flesh out a relationship before diving into anything, so thats my focus here.
As for the word count, it's usually a combined total of about 10 hours mixed between writing, proofreading, and editing. It can be a bit much and I'm taking the day off (mostly).
Thank you for another 10/10!
Date: April 14 2021 1:15 PM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
Love where this is going cant wait for fun!
Author's Response:
Thank you, same lol
Date: April 14 2021 12:38 PM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
I will write this is an amazing story. Amazing attention to detail in this story.
WOW !!
Please continue.
Please more.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you've stuck around, can't wait to bring you more to read!
[Report This]Date: April 14 2021 11:35 AM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
Love the characters and slow build. Fingers crossed they get over their jitters soon though haha.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you like it! They're fairly jittery people, but I hope so too!
[Report This]Date: April 14 2021 4:35 AM Title: CH3. Teased and Confused
Good stuff! Like I anticipated, this story is really fluffy and cute. Love it. I like how flustered they get at even the smallest flirty/sexual hints, it makes me excited to see how they'll react to overt sexual stuff if(when) it happens. I also wonder if the little mishap at the end is gonna make Lena paranoid, or perhaps overly-careful. Regardless, their interactions are still so lovely! Like others have said in the reviews, this genre of gentle stories is clearly striking a nerve with people, myself included.
My only super small suggestion, which will depend on personal taste anyway, would be to maybe consider splitting up your chapters a bit. The finer details can get lost when a chapter is super long imo, and it could make each chapter a bit more digestible. (You could also milk out more reviews that way, but you didn't hear that from me). Regardless, I'm looking forward to what's coming next! Take care.
-Pluto
Author's Response:
I live for the wholesome relationships :), I'm also looking forward to seeing how Lena will act going forward: its gonna be interesting! I'm glad I was able to carve out a niche in the super-gentle giantess genre.
As for your suggestion, I'll probably keep chapters about the same length that they're at now, but I might start splitting them up into two parts for easy digestion. Because, right now, the difficulty people can have while reading this story is that it's a suddon drop of 10000 words instead of a trickle of 2000 or 3000 word chapters. That can be hard to follow, but once the story is complete, it shouldn't feel that way. All the same, since the story isn't all coming out at once, your suggestion makes sense. I won't be going back to modify CH2 or CH3 though, I don't know what that would do to my precious reviews.
I can't wait to get more out!
Date: April 13 2021 7:25 AM Title: CH1. Evicted
Hey! I don't usually write reviews on here but I crawled out of the woodwork this time because I'm seriously loving the story progression so far! The way you describe things from Ryan's perspective is so unique, and I really like the idea of a society with multiple sized beings- the way you've presented it all is so realistic and almost relatable :)) Keep up the awesome work, and I look forward to reading more ^_^
Author's Response:
Hey! Thank you very much for reviewing, I'm glad you like where the story is heading! I liked the concept of two different sizes living in a realistic and believable way: simply going about their lives. I hope you like where the story goes! (Since you posted your review, I added another chapter!)
Date: April 13 2021 2:22 AM Title: CH2. Roommates!
Again, doing great so far, but i was a little confused with the size difference between them.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the follow up review, very much appreciated! Ryan is 1.5 inches tall (3.8 cm) and Lena is 5 foot 7 inches tall (1.7 meters). I have a minifigure from a dnd campaign that I use to see how big Ryan would be compared to something.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2021 7:20 PM Title: CH2. Roommates!
Well, well, well! Look who decided to regale us with a lovely, long-form, gentle romance!
I was terribly happy to receive your review on "borrowing a bite," and checked out your profile to see if you'd written anything because I figured we had similar interests. I was a little sad to see you hadn't. So, Imagine my delight when I logged on less than a week later only to learn that suddenly you had dropped a gentle story with a vore tag! What's more, by the time I got around to reading it, there were TWO chapters totaling around 15K words, and it looks like you're only getting started! I'll just say, when the content is engaging and the build up is enticing, there's really nothing like a good "slow burn" as you described it.
Furthermore, you've made a point that you're entirely opposed to fatal vore stories, and I have to say, even though I sometimes include fatalities in my writing, gentle/willing/safe is my ultimate favorite content to consume and there's dreadfully little available compared to the alternatives, so I'm thrilled to see you delivering on the sort of stuff that you, yourself would prefer to read. "Be the change you wanna see," and all that.
Regarding this story specifically; I love how simply relatable it is for a young adult in this era. I thoroughly enjoy the interactions and your attention to detail. You've got us all enthralled! (18 reviews on a mere two chapters in less than a week?!) you've certainly stricken a special chord with many of us like-minded saps, it seems. I think I speak for many when I say we can't wait to read more!!
That all said, I'm all about being patient and allowing you to take as long as you want or need to deliver on this wonderful set up. It's like you said regarding my story; burnout is all too easy to slip into. That in mind, I have to say that your story is inspiring me to return to certain abandoned (paused) projects.
Anyway. Stellar work! Love it so far and eager to see how you handle the later content! 10/10, favorite story in a hot minute!
Author's Response:
Yes, hello! I'm glad you were able to find this story and that you're liking it so far! I actually held out my hands at the screen and said "Xiao!" when I saw your review. I certainly wasn't expecting such a welcome reception to my first story here (from you and 6000 others), but I'm not about to complain.
It was actually your story that made me buckle down and get this out in writing. I actually went through your favorites to see what else you might have found that I hadn't. But, I ran out of stories to read and it got me thinking about ideas I'd had over my time in this community. It's one of those ideas that has been bouncing around inside my head for a couple years, so I'm glad I was able to sit down and write out something that uses those ideas.
I'm a "you do you" sort of guy, so while I don't like fatal vore, I'm not about to try and get other people to not like or write it (though I do wish there was a death tag, so I knew where not to go). Unfortuantely, fatal everything is very prevelant in this fetish. So, as Thanos said: Fine, I'll do it myself.
I wanted a world that wasn't super fantasy, and was easy enough for my characters to live in. I wanted to focus on these two almost exclusively, so haveing a discord-like chat that I could use to have them interact with others early on was something that just sort of happened that worked out. Hitting a balance between giving readers all the details they could want while understanding what details Ryan or Lena would pick up on has been difficult, but they tend to focus on important things, so that's worked out for me. I'm glad to have struck a chord with these two!
While I have yet to hit burnout, its been very easy to get myself writing this story. The downside is that its been a little too easy, to the point that I can't NOT write at times. But, I deal with it, usually by playing For Honor or something stressful. I wanted to have chapter three out tonight, but while proofreading what I had already written for the unfinished chapter, I added about 2000 words in the middle, throwing off my hope to tomorrow at the earliest. Once I get these two dorks to the end of the day, I'll go back and proof-read to see if anything needs to be added, romoved, or reworked then check for errors. Then, and only then, can I post it.
I do hope me being inspired by you inspires you right back, because that'd be pretty poetic. Whatever you unpause, I can't wait!
Thank you for the 10/10 review, I'm overjoyed to learn that you love it and I can't wait to get you (and everyone else I've somehow roped into this) some more chapters!
PS: I am terrified of that later content :)
Date: April 12 2021 4:26 PM Title: CH2. Roommates!
An extra $3,000+ isn't going above her monthly living expenses. If that's ontop of rent, bills, groceries, and her normal liftestyle etc.. damn Ryan, you've found yourself a big sugar mama without even trying or wanting to.
Author's Response:
:)
[Report This]Date: April 12 2021 12:48 PM Title: CH2. Roommates!
It is great to see that this gentle romance genre of story telling has been having a comeback recently because it's by far my favorite. Despite not having much action in it, this story is a pleasure to read! I'm really enjoying the character's and their interactions. I just want to watch them come together (I'm a sap for romance). Keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
I'm happy you're enjoying the story so far! This is actually my first attempt at writing anything close to romance, so I hope I don't disappoint!
[Report This]Date: April 11 2021 8:07 PM Title: CH2. Roommates!
Honestly, amazing.
Just made an account to review this and give it 10/10.
Please write more!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review, and the 10/10! I'll have the next chapter finished later this week, maybe before wednesday.
Date: April 11 2021 3:22 PM Title: CH1. Evicted
I really like this chapter.
Please continue.
Let me just say WOW great.
You have a talent for writing.
Author's Response:
I'm already working on the next chapter, hope you look forward to it! Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot!
Date: April 11 2021 12:30 PM Title: CH2. Roommates!
One of my favorite new stories. It's been awhile since a masterful gentle story came out, and the characters are so well fleshed out! Looking forward to seeing them break through the building tension!
Author's Response:
MASTERFUL. I don't think my writing has ever been called that, thak you for the high praise! It really means a lot! I'm glad you like the characters, they were fun to workshop.
I can't wait to get the next chapter out!
[Report This]Date: April 11 2021 7:33 AM Title: CH2. Roommates!
Another great chapter! You're hitting on a lot of themes that I enjoy reading and writing, and it's always nice to see a new story in that genre. I'm looking forward to more! Take care.
-Pluto
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm just writing what I would love to see more of on this site, so I'm glad I've carried you along so far!
Date: April 11 2021 4:42 AM Title: CH1. Evicted
And chapter 2 down. I LOVE this story, it's a good and simple setting but mainly I just love this sort of dynamic between two characters. The friends to more buildup, the teasing, etc etc. I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response:
I'm happy you love it! I chose a simple setting so I could focus more on their relationship than a world event happening. I can't wait for you to see what else I have in store :)
Date: April 11 2021 4:05 AM Title: CH1. Evicted
Only read the first chapter so far but I love when stories like this come around. These are my favorite kind of characters, my favorite kind of dynamic to have and it's being written quite well as well! I can't wait to see more of this!
Date: April 10 2021 3:49 PM Title: CH1. Evicted
A very interesting start. Please continue. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response:
Thank you, I'm currently working on the second chapter, hope to have it out before the end of the weekend!