Dude your stories are literally god-tier. Most stories are overly obscene and filled with gore and death. In my opinion, the gentler stories are better, as in not having senseless violence and death. Can't wait for the next chapter and any other stories you might make. 

I really like that we got a heavy dose of Jane these last chapters.

Early on in this story, I noted that it seemed to me that Jane didn't really have much of a voice of her own. Well, you've certainly rectified that! And while she started to stand out much earlier than this, these last two chapters really let her shine!

In particular, I think the tiny's unique blend of silliness and seriousness should be hard to pull off, but it just feels natural in this story, especially here. The combination of the dark reality Jane has faced for almost her entire life and her gradually diminishing ignorance of how humans live has allowed her to walk this fine line like a sidewalk rather than a tightrope.

That conversation with Emily went really deep. While we've gotten glimpses into Jane's inner workings from time to time through the narrative, it was both chilling and, in an odd way, refreshing to hear her say that she would choose death over becoming a pet. I think the scenario being discussed here is a difficult debate: to live a life of relative luxury but have no agency or go through hell every day but maintain your ability to choose how you go through that hell. I don't think there's an easy answer there, but Jane's declaration here makes her unique among most of the tinies written about on this site, as, from what I've read, most of them would elect to survive at all costs.

Personally, I like the character and fortitude Jane shows with that choice.

Then Jane kind of goes back on that choice, which actually makes a lot of sense as well. Having a taste of a better life has pulled her away from that old mentality and saying she would rather die than go back to her old life. I do think it's easier to choose harsh freedom over pampered enslavement when you've only ever experienced the former. So of course getting a taste of a better life would make the thought of returning to the terrible day-to-day living of the Little Folk unbearable for her.

Not to mention that she doesn't even need to make that choice, since Emily actually views her as a person rather than a pet.

But this realization and almost struggle that Jane goes through over the course of this discussion is really interesting. I feel like she's discovering this change in her mentality in real time, displaying the influence that Emily has had on her. Jane's giant friend is dedicated to respecting individual life, which has led her away from that community-first philosophy that's responsible for the death of so many weak and infirmed tinies. Now Jane wants to live for herself, and that's okay.

I also like that Jane acknowledged her own "weakness" in running to Emily for help against that cat rather than "freely choosing" to share the fate of her friends. No matter how principled we may be, there's almost always a point in which survival takes priority.

But the earlier part of that conversation was also pretty significant, I think. Emily, despite what she may think, is a truly wonderful soul, so seeing her so upset over the dark reality faced by the Little Folk makes perfect sense. And her natural desire to help sets up a great debate over how much a person can do to combat systemic problems in society.

While Emily wanting to save those tinies is noble, Jane makes a good point here. There's not much one person can do to fight against such a huge problem, one that most of human society doesn't know about and likely wouldn't care about even if they did. Little Folk lead hard lives, and sacrifices do need to be made for the sake of their community. Yeah, this could easily be resolved if the bigs were all like Emily, but they're just not. Some don't care, while others are happy to kill the tinies themselves. Even the ones that do care mostly see the tinies as pets rather than people. Emily would have to not only convince the Little Folk to trust humanity, the very reason why they suffer so severely, but she would also have to convince her fellow humans that the tinies are actual people in need of help and deserving of respect. Good luck with that!

At the same time, however, Jane's wavering on her principles seems to open the door to the possibility that a caring person can make a difference. Emily has done just that with Jane without even doing anything out of the ordinary (helping people is second nature to Emily, after all). This may not be a problem that Emily can truly fix, but she can do something to make things better. That's a powerful message.

And then there's the Emily's offense at Jane keeping this whole issue a secret from her. Emily comes off almost as feeling betrayed that Jane would keep this from her, showing how deep their friendship has grown in the first place. Then there's her being upset that Jane didn't tell her in order to shield her from all this. I get where Emily is coming from here, but this has actually been set up pretty well in previous chapters, as Jane has casually mentioned some of the horrors the tinies go through only for Emily to be visibly affected just by hearing about them. So it makes sense that Jane would be concerned about upsetting Emily by telling her about something terrible that the little lady thinks the blonde giantess can do nothing about.

There are some really deep concepts that come out in this conversation, but they come out in a natural and engaging way, which isn't easy to do. I've pointed this out in previous reviews, but you have a way of addressing them in a fluid way through your characters, which is something I really appreciate.

Oh, and you mentioned before that you are having a hard time including "fetishy" content outside of the Suki chapters. While I wouldn't worry too much about that (for me, at least, any interaction with Jane and the world around her, fetishy or not, is pretty interesting), you could always move Jane and Emily's relationship forward. You've done a great job of subtly creating a "will they, won't they" dynamic between the two of them, and that bit about the collar at the end of their conversation was a nice little tease in that direction. I don't know how you feel about the more "lewd" side of gentle interaction, but that could be a place you could take this story, and given how you've built the relationship between Jane and Emily, it would be pretty satisfying to see, as it will have been "earned," if that makes sense.

If that's not your thing, cool, but I figured I'd put that out there since you mentioned having a hard time with that.

As for the last chapter, Jane really shines here as well, and for a different reason entirely! Her nonsensical imitation of a crime drama was hilarious, and it was nice to see her silly side after such a serious discussion in the previous chapter. Of course, it also shows that living such a hard life has developed nerves of steel in the tiny, as she was observing some things that no one else was, despite the fact that it was her life that was in danger. 

It's also good that Shana's true intentions at the start of the story are now known by everyone, as now all the "terrible" things she has done are now understood to have come from a good place. That she admitted that she couldn't just let Jane die in such a cruel way was interesting, as we hadn't heard that part of the real story yet. It makes sense, though. Shana never intentionally hurt the Little Folk, and she only started not caring about squishing them to save herself from the mental anguishing of dealing with what she had done purely on accident. So seeing Jane about to be eaten for Suki's amusement wouldn't be something I would expect her to tolerate (although that was obviously not clear back then).

And the way she showed guilt at just knocking Jane over on accident shows that she recognizes Jane as a person now. She has really come a long way since chapter one!

It should be interesting to see what happens when this new, more-honest-with-herself Shana meets up with Suki, especially if she goes to Suki's room for the conversation.

This was a fantastic way to bring home Shana's character development!

To see her reach this touching, emotional peak, especially after how crude and mean she appeared to be when we first met her, is incredibly satisfying. It was particularly meaningful near the end, when she gave up on preserving that hard shell she has been hiding behind all this time and finally just gave in to her true feelings. I'm guessing that this emotional release will affect the way she treats the tinies as well, even if she still pretends to not care for the sake of appearances.

Maya's awkwardness here was a nice touch, and it really let us know how nervous she was to hear Shana's answer to her question before she even asked it. Stuff like that conveys a vulnerability that makes her pretty relatable. And given the younger sister's previous interpretation of the people in her life and Shana's efforts to toughen her up, it's understandable that she wouldn't be sure that Shana loves her, even after the revelations of the last couple chapters

Also, it's great how she has started referring to Shana as Big Sis these last two chapters, given Maya's previous thoughts on her relationship with Shana. And between this and that vulnerability I mentioned above, it helps Maya "look" the part of the younger sister as well.

I did find it sad that Maya emphasized that she was a step sister, though. Whereas before she was trying to deny her relation to Shana, now the fact that they aren't blood sisters (I couldn't remember if they shared a father or if Maya was around before her mother married Shana's dad) hurts her. She wants to be a "real" sister to Shana. For Shana's part, it wasn't stated directly, but with everything she has said in the last three chapters, it's pretty clear that she doesn't make that distinction. Maya is her sister, simple as that.

And, of course, Emily and Jane show up at the end to add to the cuteness of the chapter. It's always good to see those two together, although I'm still left wondering what exactly Emily had to talk about with Jane. I'm guessing we might find out a little more about that in the next chapter or so.

These last three chapters have been really great, even despite not having much "fetishy" content in them. I love the character development and work you put into them, and the writing and story has been good enough that I haven't really noticed the break we've mostly taken from size-related content (we've seen some light interaction with Jane and gotten some background on the Little Folk, so you've kept some balance there). It's a testament to your storytelling that this story on a fetish site has remained interesting while focusing so heavily on things other than said fetish, especially since, by your own admission, this was at one point supposed to be just a two-chapter story.

I look forward to seeing where you take things next!

I kind of made that connection that you mentioned about Suki and Maya both having uncaring mothers in the last chapter too, but man, you really hit that point on Maya's end here. It seems like the big difference between those two is that Maya had Shana and Emily in her life, even though she didn't realize that having Shana there was a good thing.

God, Maya's mom is just terrible. And as much as we don't want to admit it, there are people like her in the real world, those who use pregnancy to "reel in" a husband (It's not super common, but it does happen). And Maya didn't even realize because her mom's simply not around enough for her to see the truth. It's really sad, especially when you consider how sweetly Maya has been portrayed so far.

It seems the more we find out about Shana, the more we realize that she's actually a pretty good person deep down. I've been pointing that out for a while, but it keeps becoming more true each time we see her. Even I was surprised to learn that she was the one stocking the fridge and leaving Maya money for food. And it makes sense that her harsh attitude toward Maya was her way of "training" her for when their mom ultimately turns on her. Once again, stuff she did that seemed cruel turned out to actually be her being kind. It's just that she doesn't know how to express what she's actually feeling, which she points out is because of these parenting issues (like when she agreed with Emily that she was trying to keep Maya from turning out an arrogant asshole like her).

Now, if only she would start watching her step around the Little Folk ...

I also like how Shana and Emily found some common ground in the lying, abusive adults that "raised" them. Between that and the revelation that Shana doesn't actually hate her little sister, I could see the starting to actually forge a friendship, especially since we know that Shana secretly respects Emily. I'm really curious how that might affect Suki if it materializes.

Jane just kept cracking me up in this chapter. I love how she had to scold herself not to make sarcastic comments about Shana's boobs. That would be me in that situation! And the way she pranked Maya and Emily into kissing was pretty funny, too.

But I also like how Jane took charge at times here. She let the bigs do their thing, but she stepped in when she needed to. She even had the guts to tell Shana to back off a bit, and Shana seemed to actually respect that. I really enjoy the blend of humor and seriousness that Jane brings to the table.

This was a pretty emotional chapter, but I don't think you over-dramatized it. You gave us some important background information on Shana and Maya's family and showed how it affected things now pretty effectively, I think. You also included enough humor to give this heavy chapter some levity, which I also think was a good call.

I'm looking forward to seeing Shana coming off of this hangover, both because I think it'll be funny and because I think she'll broach the subject of Jane with Emily, and I'm really curious to see how that goes.

The more we see of Shana, the more impressed I am at how you're able to make me view her so differently from how I did at the start of this story.

I mean, she hasn't really changed the way she acts or even speaks at all from the early chapters, and she hasn't had some sort of life-changing revelation to change the way she thinks or views the world, either. No, she's exactly the same as she was from the start. And yet, I find her so much more likable now, and she has gone from being a bully to someone I want to root for.

I know you said before that you were worried that Shana's "turn" might seem forced and unnatural, but the exact opposite is true. She's every bit the same as she was when we first met her, but a deeper understanding of who she is has radically changed my perception of her words and actions. I've said it before, but I can't say enough how blown away I am by that.

And this chapter is a perfect example. Without those chapters that showed Shana lightly (barely at all, but just enough) touching on her deeper feelings with her teammates, Shana would have come off as a hateful jerk for the way she handled the situation with Maya, despite the fact that she bought her food. But now, she can say things like, "If you open your mouth on the way, I swear I will strangle you and throw you in a ditch," and my reaction is to chuckle a bit and think, "Oh, silly Shana."

In other words, I can see beyond the hateful tone her words imply and see that she's really trying to be a good big sister. She just doesn't know how to do that, and the spite she puts out there is really just a defense mechanism. It's really interesting, and I find myself liking and sympathizing with her more and more each time she says something that seems terrible on the outside. I also find myself really hoping she can find a good way to actually express herself by the end of the story.

As for Maya, this was a pretty eye-opening chapter regarding her character. I've found it odd for a while now that Maya acts a bit younger than 13 quite often in this story, but I've mostly attributed that to the kind of silly, almost zany undertone you've inserted into this story, which does give it some much-appreciated levity. But after reading this chapter, I feel like it actually makes sense for her character now.

Seeing the lonely life that Maya lives (outside of Emily), with her mother always away and seemingly trying to parent strictly through parental controls and limiting Maya's access to things, I can understand why Maya acts so young and finds comfort in things that maybe some 13-year-olds would find to be a bit childish. She didn't have a role model to aspire to be until Emily came into the picture (which couldn't have been more than what, two or three years ago at most?), so her idea of what is and isn't childish is different from most (there are also times where she shows some advanced maturity for her age as well).

This is especially sad when you realize that that very role model was always present in Shana, but the elder sister's inability to properly convey her feelings has made that impossible. Not to mention that Shana's conflict with Maya's mother (and from what we've read here, I'm starting to think that Shana is right about her) has clearly driven a huge wedge between the two sisters. I can see now why Shana was so happy (whether or not she would ever admit it directly) that Maya found Shana, as well as why Shana wants Maya to make up with Emily.

I also understand why Maya deleted Emily's text. In a normal situation, that wouldn't have made a lot of sense, but seeing as how most of Maya's personal interactions have likely been with Shana, it makes perfect sense that she would assume that Emily would send her a randomly hateful text because she was mad at her. That sounds like something an unhinged Shana would do, after all.

So I can understand why the thought of reading something spiteful from her much older crush would be too much for her heart to bare.

With all of that being said, I'm really curious to see how this conversation between Emily, Shana, Maya and (most likely, I would think) Jane is going to go down. You've done a wonderful job with these last four or so chapters in building anticipation for this (and other confrontations to come, I'm sure).

First of all, I think that transition between chapters nine and ten reads a lot more clearly and is a lot easier to understand now. You had a good idea for how to pull off that transition, and it's nice to see it executed so well now!

As for this chapter, I continue to be thoroughly impressed with the uniqueness and complexity of the relationships you create between your characters, as well as how well those relationships are set up.

I figured Suki would become attached to Nadia over time, but I certainly didn't think she would become this attached this quickly. But even so, it makes a lot of sense that she did, given what we've learned about her so far.

At first glance, it might seem odd that Suki, the one who is by far the most cruel to the Little Folk could feel so much affection for little Nadia, especially with the way she has been constantly referring to them (and Nadia herself) as bugs and denying their personhood. However, I've been saying for a while now that there's some undertones to this character that make clear that she actually does view the tinies as people but is simply taking advantage of society's stance on them to exert her dark desires that likely stem from her lack of human connection. So I feel pretty vindicated here, with Suki forming such a strong attachment to one of the "bugs," who also happens to be the first person that actually has to spend an extended period of time with her.

When thinking of things this way, it makes perfect sense that Suki's closeted desperation for companionship wouldn't waste any time manifesting itself through her adoration of Nadia.

As for "Mushi-chan," her struggle to cope with her situation has quickly become the most intriguing thing about this story. She's actually starting to like the person who killed her brother and devoured her master, which is a pretty hard sell to make to the reader. However, you do a really good job of doing exactly that.

Between the hatred she's getting from her own kind, the adoration she's receiving from Suki, and the sudden elevation in her standard of living, it makes a lot of sense that a part of her might come to like and even appreciate Suki. The other Little Folk turning on her was something I really never thought of, but it's a great way push her toward Suki, especially given Nadia's emotional, fiery nature. I mean, we're still seeing the bitterness she has for her master in this chapter with the comment about him being free to come back from the dead and judge her.

Although, I do have to wonder if Master Sean had the foresight to see Nadia's pampering as a possibility when he made that deal. We'll probably never know, but I'd like to think that he was wise enough to have seen something in Suki that led him to believe her wasn't condemning Nadia to a lifetime of torture.

But anyway, with Nadia seeing Suki deliver what she believes to be justice on Matt, there's a lot of things in the plus column when it comes to the Little Folk's view on her giant captress. Hell, at some point, I could see her lessening Suki's murder of her brother as an accident (which is technically true, I guess), maybe even laying that at the feet of her former master as well (I could see her saying something like, "If he hadn't antagonized her, maybe Suki would have kept my brother around, too.")

But seeing these complex feelings from each character come together is what really makes this chapter. Nadia shows that she actually cares for Suki, but the disdain she still holds from her, combined with a shyness of these feelings (which Suki called out correctly, I think) leads to her having some particularly harsh words for Suki at a couple points in the chapter.

But Suki's reaction to said harshness is interesting. She cuts to the core of Nadia's feelings and appreciates the concern the tiny has for her. Even two chapters ago, I think Nadia would have been killed on the spot for talking back at all, but now she can call Suki names and all the big girl does is laugh it off or blush? There's a certain irony here, I think, in that Suki is treating Nadia more like a person than even somebody like Liliana would, as she's recognizing really complicated emotions from Nadia and responding with a level of understanding that I think even most normal-sized people wouldn't have for one another. It really shows how much Suki cares for her.

And while it's noted that Nadia believes that Suki's feelings are for her as a pet, I don't think that's quite right, either. After all, I think it's pretty clear that Suki wasn't going to eat Matt when she thought he was someone important to her, even though she obviously really wanted to. I don't think she would let a bug or even a pet keep her from doing something that she really wanted to do. And then there's how happy she was to receive Nadia's blessing to eat him. That acceptance meant a lot to Suki, which, again, is something that only another person could have made her feel.

But yeah, the further this story goes, the more interesting each of these characters becomes. I really have no idea where these two go next. Could Nadia be wrong and Suki eventually be redeemed through her love of Nadia? Or could Nadia keep drifting toward Suki's line of thinking and eventually act as a cheerleader or even an idea girl for the cruel acts Suki performs on the tinies? Or what would Suki's reaction be to Nadia trying to escape? I'm even left wondering where Nadia's head will be at by the time she inevitably meets the other characters in the story.

There's so many possibilities, and even though we know so much more about these characters now, I still can't predict what's next for them. That's something I really appreciate.

I'm also eager to see what's up with Emily and company in the next chapter. I can get into the darker stuff, but it was the gentle nature of Emily and her instant chemistry with Jane that initially sucked me into this story. After seeing how Shana, Suki, and Nadia have changed/revealed over the course of a week, I'm looking forward to seeing where our trio of protagonists are now.

Oh, and just a quick question. Did Suki just rename Nadia Mushi, or is that just some term of endearment she has for the Little Folk?

I do have a bit of constructive criticism regarding the start of this chapter.

The scene in which Nadia confuses the sock for a monster trying to eat her didn't quite work for me. I was able to figure out what was happening thanks to it being stated outright at the end of the previous chapter, but I found this to be confusing at first here.

First, I think you decided to reuse part of the end of the previous chapter at the start of this one, as it helps to clue the reader in that we're seeing the same scene from a different perspective. This wasn't a bad idea, but the fact that it was exactly the same passage from the before left me with a sense of deja vu and confusion.

If you knew ahead of time that you were going to use this technique, a better strategy might have been to have saved Nadia's portion of the narrative at the end of last chapter for the start of this one exclusively and work those thoughts between Nadia and Suki's lines of dialogue right before it at the start of this chapter, maybe starting with a description of Nadia being taken out of Suki's pocket from the tiny's perspective. In other words, the dialogue tips us off that we're rehashing the previous scene, but Nadia's internal struggle and rage is only expressed in this new chapter.

This would provide us with enough of a clue of what's happening without making us question our sanity (or maybe that was just me?) for a quick second.

Second, while I can buy Nadia not knowing what a sock is (I actually like that, as Jane set the precedent earlier by not knowing what underwear was. This makes sense, as these things are luxuries that people struggling to survive, at least to the extent of the Little Folk, wouldn't have or know about.), I had some trouble believing that Nadia couldn't tell the difference between a living creature and a sock, at least as written here.

I think you were on the right track by noting that she was crying and became terrified as she was lifted, but a more in-depth description about her becoming hysterical or maybe a note that her vision was blurred through tear-stained eyes would have made such a mistake much more believable. Blurred vision could easily justify her mistaking the sock for something like a snake, and going hysterical throws logic out the window entirely, which makes it easier to justify almost anything from her perspective.

Third, a description of Nadia feeling the material of the inner sock as she was "swallowed" and/or during her climb out would have provided an opportunity for the reader to figure out that the beast wasn't a beast at all. Maybe a thought or two from Nadia about how this isn't how she envisioned the "belly of the beast," noting how soft and unalive it seems, could have worked here.

And finally, I feel like we needed just a bit more detail on the "crawling beasts" that Nadia thought the sock resembled. As noted above, I kind of think this was supposed to be a snake, so maybe replacing "crawling" with "slithering" might have helped emphasize this. If it wasn't supposed to be a snake, another description in passing would have helped the reader identify what this was supposed to be.

When I read through this the first time, the "crawling beasts" part threw me off a bit, and I was wondering if Suki had a pet that she was using to tease Nadia with. As I read on, it became clear this wasn't the case, but I was really confused for a minute.

Overall, I think using this immersive narrative style was a good idea here, and you captured Nadia's blend of terror and anger (more on that in a minute) extremely well. But the scene itself was hard to follow and it took reading it a few times for me to figure out exactly what was going on here. I hope my criticisms above made sense and might be useful to you going forward with you work.

Now, with that out of the way, I really liked this chapter overall.

I can't say enough how much I loved Nadia's attitude here. People react differently to fear, and that tends to get lost a bit in these fetish stories, with tinies usually having the narrow emotional range between terror and hopelessness. Nadia deciding to go out with pride and sacrificing herself to inconvenience her captor and the "beast" is refreshing! It was great to see her anger win out over her fear and embrace such a "fuck you!" mentality, even if it didn't work out for her in the end.

I'm really enjoying pretty much all of your characters in this story so far, but Nadia has quickly become one of my absolute favorites!

I also like how the dynamic between Suki and Nadia is shaping up.

With Suki, it was finally stated outright what had been hinted at quite a bit these last few chapters: that Suki had an exceptionally lonely childhood and had no friends. That explains her awkward social skills, as well as her lack of value for other people. I think she takes out her frustrations with people in general out on the Little Folk (I still say that, deep down, she sees them as people, but indulges in society's claim that they aren't to justify doing what she would want to do with anyone if she could get away with it).

In short, she's never had anyone in her life that to care about or who cares about her, and that frustration comes out in sadistic glee as she has tormented Nadia and company.

But now, near the end of the chapter, we see the tiniest signs of her feeling a sense of companionship with Nadia. She uses her personal shower gel to clean the Little Folk (and it's noted how big a deal that is to Suki) and she seems somewhat happy that Nadia is clean and to feed the little person (even her excuse that Nadia was "too clean" to play with seems like a weak excuse to give the girl a break).

I'm not saying that Suki cares about or respects Nadia, but maybe finally having someone else around has started to change her a bit. This opens so many narrative possibilities! I initially thought/hoped this might turn into a Shana redemption story, but is it really a Suki one instead (I wouldn't have even thought that just a couple chapters ago)? Maybe it's one for both of them. Or for neither of them!

Even if Suki keeps being evil, this new development could open some interesting avenues to explore for Suki and Nadia (especially given Nadia's justifiable hatred of Suki).

I've been pretty high on the unique relationship you built between Emily and Jane previously, but I'm starting to see a no less unique one forming between Suki and Nadia but in an entirely different way. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes!

It was nice to see Shana show a bit of what's underneath that tough exterior, if only slightly here and there. Getting to see her interact with a different group of characters, ones that she has a different type of relationship with, was able to draw a little more out of her but without her having to give up that rough-around-the-edges demeanor that we've become accustomed to when dealing with her.

And I think we learned a bit about her as well. The way she talked about Emily, even if she didn't say it directly, indicates that she has a certain respect for her. She also trusts Emily with Maya (I'm with Liliana, I'm not buying this "She's not my sister" bit, either), which I think is a bigger deal for her than she lets on.

Also, it was pretty cute how flustered the tomboy got when Liliana subtly let Shana know that she views Shana as a friend. It shows that Shana doesn't really know how to deal with that, which implies that she doesn't have any real friends (I think Suki is more of lackey than a friend).

I think seeing this softer side to Shana could be important moving forward, as I also think that she's going to have to "pick a street" regarding Little Folk for this story to really advance. At some point, she's likely going to recognize that tinies are more than she thought they were, and that can go one of two ways: She can be like Emily and treat them like people or she can be like Suki and use them as a release (although hers would likely be more about anger and stress relief than the sexual release that Shana is seeking).

Either way, I'm guessing that seeing Suki with Nadia (and how Nadia actually reacts to whatever terrible things Suki is doing to her) is going to change the way Shana sees things. Now that we know that there's a (slightly) softer person in there somewhere, we can accept the possibility that she might follow the path of Emily rather than the path of Suki. If she does, what does that mean for her when she thinks back to all the tinies she killed without a care? And if she goes the other way, how crazy is she going to get with tormenting the Little Folk (probably Jane at some point)?

I thought it was interesting that Liliana came to the opposite conclusion that Emily did about Shana's indifference toward stepping on Little Folk. To Emily, not even taking the time to acknowledge that Shana was killing them is worse than Suki deliberately trying to eat them, like Shana is insulting them by acting like they're not even worth acknowledging. Liliana, on the other hand, sympathizes with the tinies, but accepts that unintentional deaths at the feet of people like Shana are going to happen, so it isn't that big of a deal to her. Liliana strikes me as one of those people that Jane described a few chapters ago, a person who cares about Little Folk and maybe even believes that they should have some rights but doesn't see them as equals. I could see her owning a pet tiny and pampering it (I'm assuming she comes from money with the way she was presented here).

I don't know if that comparison holds any significance to the story going forward, but I was kind of intrigued by it nonetheless.

I also wanted to say that you did a great job differentiating all of these new characters, Liliana in particular. I love the regal, teasing, almost benevolent personality you crafted for her. Of course, Hannah's shy, quiet, on-edge character and Satsuki's quiet but deadly and slightly sarcastic demeanor were pretty stark and enjoyable as well.

I really enjoyed this chapter! While I'm loving the Emily-Jane stuff, the old saying that "a story is only as good as it's villain" has a lot of merit, so it was nice to see Suki get the narrative spotlight for a bit. We got a hint of a backstory, some more insight into her personality, and a lot of inappropriate touching in public. That's all we can ask for, really!

We only saw her briefly, but I feel like you found Maya's voice! I think her using shorter sentences but several in a row was the right way to go with her. It gave her a youthful tone, maybe because it made her seem "quick" or hyper. In any case, between that and the generous use of exclamation points there at the end of her segment, her dialogue came off as unique, and, at least to me, it seemed to fit the character well.

I loved that Suki took the time to laugh so long after pulling one over on Maya. I think for a lot of characters, even evil ones, it would have felt out of place or weird for her to take the time to focus on that after the fact. But Suki's extreme arrogance and sense of entitlement make that work for her. She feels superior to Maya (and everyone else), and this is just one way that she expresses it, even if it's only to herself.

The interaction between Shana and Suki was pretty intriguing. Shana's even mean to her friends. She comes off as less like a villain and more like an uncaring grump, which gives her a very different feel from Suki. I'm really interested to see where you go with Shana over the course of the story. With her backstory, there's certainly some potential for redemption for her, but she could just as easily not go that way, too. Even if she stays as that uncaring grump until the end, she's still a fun character to read.

And, again, excellent work on cranking up the vulgarity for our tomboy bully. It makes her come off as more menacing, even to her best friend.

Overall, this was a great setup for what's coming. Let's hope Suki can at least keep her hand out of her pants before she fills up. No need to taunt the Little Folk too much!

This was a pretty rewarding chapter. After Jane was looking pretty well screwed last chapter, it was nice to see Emily and Maya come through in the clutch.

In particular, Emily finding that inner strength that she didn't know she had to break away from Shana and headbutt Suki was satisfying to read. Up until this point, she's come off as a nonviolent type of person, so for her to step that far out of her comfort zone to save Jane comes off as a really big deal.

One minor thing, though. I personally would have had Emily throw her head back and headbutt Shana's face or step on her toes or something instead of screaming to get free. I guess it's possible that she could scream high pitch enough to hurt the bully's ears, but I think it would have been easier to buy Emily doing something a bit more physical and catching Shana by surprise. Other than that, I thought that scene was really good.

I enjoyed getting some backstory on Shana, and I think using Maya as a catalyst for that was a good call. The tension between Maya's mom and Shana makes her mean streak make sense, and it allows the reader to feel just a tad bit of sympathy for her. I like complicated characters, and Shana now has a couple more layers to her than she did a chapter ago.

I also think Shana's dialogue came off a lot better than it did last chapter. She came off a lot more crude than she did before, which fits her character so much better. Personally, I might have shortened up a couple of her lines of dialogue and further embraced contractions for her ("You don't even know where it has been" to "You don't even know where it's been," for example), but this was a huge improvement! I also noticed we checked in on Jane once before she got shoved in Suki's mouth, which was welcomed as well. Just keep working at these things as you move forward and I think your work will pop that much more.

Speaking of dialogue, I do want to say that the way you write Suki fits the characteristics you've been presenting her with perfectly. She sounds like an entitled snob every time she speaks. Keep up the good work on that front!

So it looks like we'll get to see Maya and Emily console Jane after her near-death experience and/or Suki go tiny hunting in the next chapter or two. Either way, I'm looking forward to it!