I feel like too many reviewers are expecting for things to get better/for there to be a happy ending. I think we might get a bittersweet one, at best. Even a “happy” ending would likely be pretty complicated. Probably more like “at peace with things that are morally grey and imperfect.” There isn’t a gentle tag on this story, folks. Paul could end up a mindbroken slave to two bitchy and mean owners that no longer care for him at all by the end, though I’d hope not.

You‘ve managed to write characters that are frustrating to read, which is a good thing. Paul is frustrating because he’s stupid and caused all of his own problems - which is very human, and you can’t help but sympathize with him (to an extent, eventually the stupidity will become tiresome). Mary is frustrating because she’s gullible and selfish, but she isn’t violently cruel or heartless - I feel like a blowup is building with her, she’s been too passive of a character. Pam is frustrating because she’s constantly getting away with everything and is frankly a bitch, but you see glimpses of doubt and guilt in her. It feels like Pam has lost control of things, and like her house of cards is shaking as she keeps trying to force things forwards.

It does seem as if fate is bending itself to be convenient for Pam. Which happens a lot in size stories, because lmao. Every time Mary seems to start to catch on to her manipulations, it kind of goes nowhere. If you have keep having Pam ‘win’ nonstop, it might get kind of stale.

It will be deeply dissatisfying if the story ends without Pam getting any sort of comeuppance or blowback. But hey, that might kind of be the point. Most giantess stories don’t exactly end up “fair”. Compared to many other tinies in their own stories, Paul has a pretty nice life and it might even be pleasant (from some giantess fans’ perspectives, anyways) if he just “gave up” being human and his personhood - not a huge deal, right? Better than being slop stewing in a stomach. Even so, I’m holding on to the hope that if Pam manages to fully ‘corrupt’ Mary, she herself might end up with a worrying diagnosis and bit less height… Mary would love having two shrinkies, right? It’d be a very fitting reward for Pam after all her hard work manipulating things. I can’t decide if it’d be funnier if she shrank to being shorter than Paul, or got to keep some height over him. That sort of situation could also allow for a much more ‘wholesome’ ending. Paul could, for some plot derived reason or another, willingly elect to stay tiny with her. Happier ever after with Mary and her two Shrinkies, or something.

A few other unasked for rambling thoughts I had:

A normal man in Paul’s situation would almost certainly beat the ever loving shit out of Pam if he ever got resized, if not outright murder her. That would end with an extremely interesting court case, considering the murky legality of what she had done/was planning to do to him. That could also be a worry of hers in the future: even if Pam softens more towards Paul and feels regretful, she would have to realize that resizing him could endanger her because she knows she has wronged him well past the point of it being a ‘prank’. She has deeply hurt him and pretty much destroyed his life, and is working to turn him into a thing. She should never feel safe around him as a full sized man again, unless something that radically fixes their relationship happens. Or shes clueless and doesn’t understand those implications, which is more than possible.

Paul’s family and individuals with crueler and more violent tendencies towards shrinkies could be a useful plot point to ‘fix’ the relationship between the three. Introducing worse antagonists is always a good way to develop characters/relations. We already know even Pam was pretty uncomfortable with how callous Paul’s mother seemed. And the whole thing points at Paul being more complicated and troubled than the two girls know. If Pam and Mary have to come to his rescue at some point, or can paint themselves as loving and caring owners and the best future he’s got, he might just become more malleable. I do think you moved past the family issue a bit too quickly, unless it’s still something that’s lurking and building. There was like an entire chapter devoted to them feeling really bad for the guy, then it felt like they just started breaking him down again as if it never happened.

Also, I’d agree that a suicide attempt seems likely. Paul is at an all time low with pretty much nothing going for him. He’s seemingly been abandoned by the entire world at this point, and has no control over anything. He likely feels like he has no loved ones and is utterly alone. He’d be right to feel that way. Neither Mary or Pam can claim to actually care for him at this point, IMO. Their selfish and immoral desires matter more to them. He is in a very bad place and probably shouldn’t be left alone. Which really put salt in the wound when Mary, the one who put the nail in the coffin, immediately left him in that state and went to Pam for comfort because of how much doing it to him hurt her (emotional unfairness like that is great rage bait). Not a great look, lady. You’re the one enslaving your FWB/lover who trusted you, in a way that if it got out would probably land you in jail or dead. Even accepting the very murky and hand-wavy legality Pam’s company has put forward regarding Paul (I don’t; it really screams ‘don’t tell anyone about this and it won’t become a problem’ - and mission failed already), the court of public opinion would absolutely be out for blood if a case regarding people being unwillingly permanently turned into shrinkies via an artificial process hit the air. Pam and Mary would literally be in danger. They would basically become the face for a boogieman out to take the personhood away from ‘real humans.’ You could swing it as a way to punish criminals, but not innocent people. Not a great look, and they’re very lucky Paul’s family situation is what it is. It’s almost as if the two are doing something wrong, and they know it…

All in all, you’re writing a thought provoking story and I’m curious to see where you go with it. I think with the characters you’ve written, there are a lot of different directions things could go in. I hope you keep things interesting and exciting.

First time reviewing a story, but this one really gets to me.

I know that Paul is kind of an idiot for the sake of the story, and that Mary is unaware to most of what's happening around her, but it is seriously infuriating.

From Paul pov, Pam is a monster, she took Paul life away from him so she could have Mary for herself, and is rubbing it in his face. With how he acted before I don't understand why he doesn't directly call her out in front of Mary.

With Mary having just broke up with him, and the prospect of living the rest of his life as her pet and Pam toys, I wouldn't be surprised by a suicide attempt.

You took netorare to the next level, and if that was your goal, I applaud you on your success!!

At any rate, great writing.

Let's assume that the lab didn't replace the shrinking gene, but duplicated the normal one? What will Paul do if at some point he returns to his previous size for some unknown reason, and at the most inopportune moment he becomes smaller again? :)

Author's Response:

Interesting idea there. I had not considered that. I'm sure the lab would not be happy about it. :)  Quality control and all that sort of thing, and it would really mess with their other control participants and possibly the non-control participants. Don't forget they are looking into marketing this as a product for the "normals" that want to be adventurous.

Keep the ideas coming, they might show up some where :)

Thanks!

All roads lead to Rome. It's a Clever for her to take a two prong approach. I'm hoping Mary doesn't cave and opts against it and it frustrates Pam that all this works been for nothing, but at the same time Im seeing she's planning for that and is trying to make Paul break before his contract is up. If that happens and Mary tells him the truth about everything, I'd be really curious how things would go.

Review of what I've seen so far. First, I want to say that I loved the story and all the scenes of interaction between the women and Paul. I loved the plot, I like Pam's idea of ​​playing a prank/revenge against Paul. I find it strange that Paul accepts being a shrinkie without knowing how long he would stay in this state. After all, he works, lives off his income or is on vacation (I thought this was a plot hole, regarding realism.) I liked Pan's idea of ​​playing with Mary and Paul, but I found the reason why Mary was sad with Paul very silly, but in the context of Mary herself playing a prank on Paul precisely by scaring him with the scenario of being a shrinkie. Regarding Pam's way of acting, given what she has already done, I find it very hard to believe that she will actually allow Paul to return to normal. I don't know if she thought this way from the beginning or if she let things get out of control to the point of no return. It seems that she intends to destroy his life, which is almost criminal. Regarding Mary's way of acting, she seemed to be more cruel at first than she is now, possibly because she is seeing Pam overreacting. Regarding the evolution of the story, I think that in the beginning Mary had to live out her fantasies, but considering Paul's feelings, she could even exaggerate and even harm Paul by accident or being encouraged by Pam. Pam, on the other hand, had to destroy Paul's mind little by little until he became subservient: If she really intended to play a prank, she could not exaggerate right away as happened, she should create plausible humiliating situations and could even hurt Paul by accident or even fake one to scare him. If she is a monster and from the beginning she wanted Paul to never return to normal, she should have registered Paul in her name. It would also be good to first destroy Paul's mind and confidence and gradually scare him until he becomes subservient and make Nary join in his humiliation until she can convince her that he should not return to normal. Paul accepted everything very well from the beginning, he didn't really need to be trained or suffer at Pam's hands. One thing I really like about fetish is the transition of a free person's mind to a pet or toy. I didn't notice any resistance from Paul. He quickly became submissive. Well, these were my observations and criticisms: NOTE: Just to leave an idea that I think it could have been interesting to let the shrinkie go hungry until he accepted to submit to the will of women.

Feel bad for Paul. He's got so much working against him and is already cracking.

Only hope is that even through all of this is that Mary still cares. And if that's the case, I look forward to how it blows up in pams face and Mary still picks Paul, or how mary finds out Pam's been pulling the strings and gets her revenge

Can't wait for more

Damn, shit got intense real quick!

Also, I feel fully validated about calling out Pam for trying to get Paul out of the way and for just generally being a terrible person. I think the reason her plan didn't work as quickly as she thought it would is that she doesn't realize that she really has been the third wheel this whole time and that Mary's bond with Paul was pretty strong, hence why this is bothering Mary so much.

We see that even at the start of the last chapter, when Mary asks if Paul said anything about her. She doesn't want Paul to have just been using her (which, of course, we know he wasn't). That's why she wasn't in the mood when Pam made her move. Pam blames Paul (another manipulation), but I don't think she realizes just how much it's actually her fault that Mary isn't up for sex in that moment.

The irony of Mary being pissed at Paul for "manipulating" her when Pam is very much actually manipulating her isn't lost on me, either.

I will say that Pam does come off as a master at manipulation here. She actually seems to have Paul convinced that he's the one that fucked up, despite Pam pretty much guiding him to that false admission. He's so worried about how Mary feels about him now that he's not even properly pissed at Pam for what she did. And Pam is pushing all the right buttons to keep the wound fresh for Mary.

But fuck, Pam is a vindictive one. I'm not sure how much of this is because Paul always made fun of how short she was and how much is because of the jealousy she has about Paul's relationship with Mary, but she's out for fucking blood! Maybe literally as this goes on.

But lastly, I just wanted to comment on how much potential these last two chapters have given to the story. This could go down exactly the way I initially thought it would but with a more in-depth psychological element. These new chapters could also be setting up a truly satisfying ending, laying the groundwork for the hard times that could make a happier ending feel earned. Or anywhere in between those two extremes. The fact that you found inspiration in our suggestions yet are still able to mask which way you're going to eventually go is pretty impressive, honestly.

Also, I tried to reach out to you through the site email system, but it keeps giving me the error message. is there a good way to contact you? I had a few thoughts I wanted to run by you.

Good chapters. I think it these both leave a lot of room for the story, like will Pam win over Mary, what happens to Paul and Mary  if she doesn't, what if Mary forgives Paul and keeps doing it,  what if Mary finds out pam tricked her, could Mary trick pam in the future and get her shrunk as revenge. Lot of possibilities and very well written imo

I don't think the physical abuse should be that bad. These two girls were his girlfriends previously.

I think Paul should be a Shrinkie until his time is up as the test control.  This could be whatever time period makes sense.

As far as the story goes. Seems like things are going well with Mary.

Pam still wants to "train" him. So she should have fun with that of course.

Seems like he will be living two different lives night to night with these two.

• Paul remains a shrinkie but someone treats him kindly

This seems to be the better option imo. Like I have 0 doubts that after a period of time Pam or Mary will change their mind about growing him back, but at least Mary seems the type to be guilty. Plus Paul staying shrunk and being treated cruelly just seems too obvious to me lol

Another idea would be for pan to get shrunk and end up being shorter than Paul in the end lol I like the karma and going back to square 1 type of thing. 

Love the story either way