[Report This]Date: November 10 2024 7:32 PM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
This is quickly becoming one of my top of all time stories on this site. I love all the characters and their interactions, I love the world building, I love the plot, and it's all wrapped in a very pleasant writing style.
More specifics:
I adore the fact that Clara's perspective is so coloured by spirits. It's such a nice touch and both adds to the world and lets us in on a different way of perceiving emotion and feeling.
I saw the trans tag and was a bit worried given how fetishized things usually are, but this story treats Mary as a person first and foremost. Thank you.
Eloise and Clara are the perfect duo. I can't wait to see how their relationship unfolds. I get the feeling Eloise ate a human once and has regretted it ever since, or perhaps that woman Stephanie said Eloise was sleeping with ate a human who Eloise was close to, betraying her trust. I look forward to seeing how things evolve as truths are revealed. I also look forward to Clara seeing lust spirits for the first time :p
As with all tales of revenge, I wonder what will happen to Mary once it's all over. Given she just pushed both Clara and Eloise away, and that Clara and Eloise seem to be developing feelings, it seems likely she will end up alone. I hope she realizes this before it's too late. God this story is good
In addition to all that, it's clear you are a massive language nerd and I respect that.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much again! I'm honoured you think so highly of my work.
I definitely have a lot of fun coming up with all the different spirits that Clara sees. In truth, they're heavily inspired by the Spren from The Stormlight Archive, which I definitely recommend giving a read if you like that sort of thing.
I was a little nervous to finally address Mary's transition. I think part of its inclusion as a topic is me exploring my feelings surrounding my own transition, so I'm glad it came out well.
Writing Eloise and Clara's interactions is a ton of fun. Clara definitely has a lot of complex feelings to figure out now lol. Without saying too much, your theory is pretty good ;) You've recognised a few key elements, so I give it a 4/5.
Mary is definitely one of the more complex characters in the story. You're right in pointing out that without her connections to others, she might end up with nothing left once it's all over. We'll have to see if she can overcome her powerful grudge and embrace the people around her.
You're also totally right, I find the interplay between cultures super fascinating, and exploring it in fantasy settings is so much fun.
Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
[Report This]Date: November 06 2024 11:25 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p2
This story is really good! I'm loving the slow build, and your prose is beautiful. Your attention to detail really elevates each scene to the point that chapter 2, a chapter that's composed almost entirely of a couple characters sitting in a room talking, never feels boring thanks to the descriptions of the character’s expressions and the space around them. Even if there isn’t much “action” here, the movements of the characters and the progression of the scene still flows really well.
I’m loving Mary and Clara’s dynamic (I read a little bit into chapter 3, but I figured I had enough to say to leave a review here first before catching up), the hardened, stoic warrior and the green but eager healer. They play really well off each other, and I like their character designs (Clara’s scarring from being eaten makes for a striking visual). I’m curious to learn more about this world’s magic system with Clara able to see all those spirits in the forest. That was another cool visual element, all the brightly lit sprites running around. Feels like something I’d see in a Ghibli movie. The anger spirits gathering around Mary only to disperse when she looked back at Clara was a great moment.
I have my theories regarding Mary’s father. The way you describe his death those few times stood out to me, how the giantess “ran him through” and “cut him down.” I’d expect him to get stepped on or eaten, but it sounds like the giantess slayed him with a weapon. And there’s the fact Clara is amazed by the magic he was capable of. I don’t have a full enough grasp on this world’s magic system yet to say anything definitive, but I get the feeling Mary’s father isn’t exactly human, maybe he’s a bit more than that. Very curious. Very curious indeed.
Also, the translator’s notes at the bottom are such a fun inclusion. That’s also a clever way to work around some of the quirks of writing fantasy, (like characters referring to real world elements like Earth or Achilles). I particularly liked the clarification back in Ch. 1 regarding the giantess referring to humans as “bugs.” I didn’t pay it much thought while reading, but yeah it would be weird for a race of giants to use that as a derogatory term when actual bugs probably aren’t all that perceptible to them. (I suppose the human equivalent would be calling tinies “bacteria” or “microbes,” which could work, but it would be odd to hear in a fantasy setting).
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! Reviews like this mean the world to me, seriously.
I'm so glad chapter two was still engaging, I was a little worried the slower pace compared to the opening chapter would put some people off. I'm happy to hear the character dynamics are working too, having characters bounce off one another is super fun to write. Clara's scars is pretty important to me for this story, so I'm glad it lands well. I'm trying to take the consequences of character's actions a lot more seriously in this one, so it serves as a constant visual reminder.
I'm super happy to hear that moment with the rage spirits landed well! It's one of my favourite bits of Mary's character I've come up with so far.
I won't say anything specific in regards to Mary's father to prevent spoilers, but I'm glad the intrigue landed well. Good job picking up on the word choice surrounding how he died, too. I was wondering if people would notice that.
I've been super happy all the worldbuilding is well received! I'm obsessed with it so there'll be more to come haha.
Thanks so much for reading!
[Report This]Date: October 27 2024 7:37 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
Really interested in this story, your story telling is phenomenal. Love it so far keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying so far. I've got a lot more planned, so stay tuned!
Date: October 26 2024 2:46 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
This story rocks. Even beyond the delightful storytelling and language, the highly motivated characters, and the world, the meta world building in the translators notes absolutely tickle me. Love it, hope to see much more!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! You're too kind.
I'm glad to hear people are enjoying the meta world building, it's a fun bit of spice I'm enjoying sprinking in.
Next chapter should be up in a few days!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 10:10 PM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
Great fantasy and adventure/ sci-fi writing here, hope you continue writing more stories. I like your inclusion of details to evoke the feelings and atmosphere of the scenes you are creating.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it.
I plan on continuing this one into a much longer story than my previous work, so stay tuned for more :)
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 2:18 PM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
Off to an exciting start!
Sandy's attack on the town was great, showcasing the power imbalance between giants and humans with some great interactions, but that fight scene was incredible! It was really well choreographed, the actions all flowing smoothly into one another. It felt as vivid as watching a movie. I enjoy a good revenge-obsessed hero, so I'm excited to see how Mary develops. The environmental descriptions and bits of world building are intriguing.
Great stuff! I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review!!
I'm happy you enjoyed the fight scene. I wasn't super confident that it was something I could write well, so it's lovely to hear. I've been growing more and more attached to Mary as the story grows in my head, and I think she's gonna turn out great. I'm glad the worldbuilding was at interesting, I can't help myself but inject it into everything I make and sometimes worry it's boring/too much.
I'm having a lot of fun writing this so expect a new chapter soonish. Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 11:23 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1
oh man, I love this beginning already. Always a fan of fantasy story like this, I want to see more!
...and I see 'destruction' tag there too, nice...
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm hoping to get the next chapter written as soon as I can. It's so much fun to write.