[Report This]Date: March 15 2025 8:29 AM Title: I: Genesis
(Chucking what I said on discord here, cause you deserve the reviews <3)
This was a fun read. Jade and Cass have a nice dynamic, and their reactions to the inexplicable nature of what's happening form a fun contrast. You did a great job at capturing the existential dread of both the tinies, and Jade. It's really fun to have a big that's fundamentally terrified by the implications of her actions.
Really fun read, and at a size ratio I usually don't like much, too. Great work!
Author's Response:
Thanks for copying it over! I'm glad people see the potential for where this can go.
Date: March 13 2025 6:11 PM Title: I: Genesis
Dude, please tell me you're writing more of this! If you are I hope you update soon!
Really enjoy what you've written so far!
Author's Response: Yes, I have decided to continue it! A second chapter is being drafted. I am still writing my other story, Larger Than Life, concurrently with this one, but I'm determined to continuing this in the near future as well. Thanks for taking the time to review. I hope you enjoy where the story goes next!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 11:33 PM Title: I: Genesis
No, you're not getting a hater review.
I thought it was a good start for something potentially
bigger (heh). The presentation of the scale wasn't perfect, but it's not
something worth nitpicking over. You did a great job describing the girls
through their physical appearance, mannerisms, and their apartment (house?). The
destructive effects their actions caused in the city were tantalizing, and I liked
the imagery of the blunt ashes falling like meteors.
I didn't think about Cass’s actions since the story was written as a one-shot and blatantly cruel giantesses don’t do anything for me. Her first
reaction to the city was, “Yeah, we’re gods now.” And Jade just sat there and
let her friend cause havoc. I wonder if she’ll try to help the city or be one
of those passive friends who follow the lead in what others do.
I am curious how you plan on continuing this. They only have one
city and if Jade does nothing or joins in on the destruction with Cass, I doubt
the city will last a week. I would have liked a perspective from the micros to see how massive the girls are and give weight to the casual destruction they were causing. If micros and girls have smartphones, then
communication between them should be possible. Could make Jade feel worse if she gets a bunch of micros texting her to tell her friend to stop lol
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I'm relieved to hear I'm going soared the hater review. I don't think my delicate constitution could've handled it. I'm glad you like the descriptions and imagery. I definitely put a lot of value in that aspect of it all. I'll try to take the sense of scale into consideration more moving forward.
As for the plotting, while it's true I intended this to be a one-off to start, I couldn't help but feel it had legs by the time I was done. I don't imagine it will be a very long story, but developing on the conflict between Jade and Cass is my main intention with the story moving forward, and a lot of the speculation you've expressed here will be address as the story progresses.
I hope you stick around to see where I go from here. Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 9:54 PM Title: I: Genesis
I’m always impressed when a writer makes the simplest descriptions so captivating. The first few paragraphs of this story were that. I loved the way you described Jade’s room and the clothes she wore, the prose carrying the imagery and making it so impactful in the process despite being relatively unimportant to the story as a whole. It also did a great job of setting up Jade’s (and eventually Cass’) vibe.
Getting into the actual size stuff, I love Jade and Cass’ dynamic. Guilt-ridden giantesses are always so interesting to me, how their emotional weakness contrasts so heavily with their physical supremacy, and pairing that with an uncaring sadist strengthens both of their characteristics tremendously. A part that really emphasized this was their different reactions to seeing the buildings crumble. Jade saw a tower falling and was reminded of footage of terrorist attacks; Cass viewed the reactiveness like detailed animations in a video game. Not only are those both really evocative visuals thanks to how relatable that imagery is (I’ve played video games and seen news footage of terrorist attacks), but it’s a subtle way of showing how the two women see the world (specifically this tiny world on their coffee table) differently.
The casual domination was the star of the show. Stuff like dropping a pop tart crumb, or merely bumping the table had such a profound impact on the tinies despite being nothing to the punk girls. And Cass tossing the sock was the greatest powerplay of them all. “The softest goddamn apocalypse they could’ve gotten” is the perfect way of putting it. To think something so soft and lightweight could bury people alive, suffocate them, it’s casual interactions like that I find so invigorating with such extreme size diff scenarios. I love how we didn’t get any major destruction in this opening act; no foot stomps flattening blocks or gigantic asses eclipsing the horizon. Because as much as I normally love that stuff (and wouldn’t be opposed to seeing it in the future), you really let the small stuff shine here, and it makes visuals like the little embers from Cass’ blunt setting whole buildings on fire all the more impactful.
The SOS message was such a strong way to end the chapter. Up until this point, the tinies didn’t feel like people. As the girls said, they were more like insects simply reaction to whatever they did to them. But that moment where they are sending a signal for help shows their intelligence, shows their ability to communicate and understand, and it shows that Cass and Jade are extinguishing real lives with their simple curiosity. And that makes Jade’s guilt hit so much harder and Cass all the more a monster for ignoring (or rather, reveling in) their pleas.
Also, that Jesus/Just us line at the end went hard lol.
It sounds like you want to continue this story further, and that sounds good to me. I don’t know what directions you’d want to take it in, whether leaning more towards destruction or having them more actively worship the girls, and I have no idea how you plan to develop Cass and Jade’s characters and their dynamic, there being so many paths you can take them down. My only suggestion (if you’re looking for those, if not feel free to ignore) is that I think it’d be powerful to have a character among the tinies, someone whose perspective we can see through to get the other side of all this destruction and see what the girls look like to the tinies, because I think that would juxtapose really well with how weightless everything looks like from Jade and Cass’ perspective, and that would do wonders in driving Jade’s guilt home if we actually saw their suffering from one of their eyes.
But yeah, awesome story, especially since this sort of scenario isn’t my usual cup of tea. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
First off, thank you for this review, and such an insightful and specific one at that! Your writing, in particular, is superb, so your critical opinion carries a lot of weight for me.
I'm so happy you and some other reviewers enjoyed the character descriptions and the way I set the scene. I think that's been a weakness in my writing style historically, so it's encouraging to hear that I seem to be improving in that area. I can already feel myself evading a lot of the pitfalls I fell into with my debut story, Larger Than Life. I have this community to thank for that. It feels to good going into a new story with a little more experience under my belt.
The fact that so many people appreciate the dynamic between Jade and Cass is very validating as well. Even though I wrote this I totally with the intention of it being a one-off, the more I ruminated on it, I came to the same conclusion as you: there were so many paths forward got these characters. You may be pleased to hear I've considered some of the ideas you've put forth previously, and I'm going to include some of the city's perspective in the next chapter. I'm hesitant to say more as to not give anything significant away, but I think you'll like where I go from here.
Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 9:22 PM Title: I: Genesis
I’m totally hooked. More please
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! I've got it mostly plotted out by now
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 3:43 AM Title: I: Genesis
Love it, please continue!
Author's Response:
You bet I will! Thanks for taking the time to review.
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 3:24 AM Title: I: Genesis
I think, for what I find most appealing here, is how the story doesn't immediately dive into the kinkier bits of these usual scenarios. The interactions on Jade and Cass's part feel real, in the sense that, while the latter more readily leans into having fun, the former is more cautious and reserved. There's a build-up present, the sort that I haven't often seen these days in nano stories. On top of that, I quite like how things are set up currently, so as to fuel potential future chapters and the fun that can be had in them. All in all, enjoyed this first chapter here. Would love to see more.
On that note, Cass is best girl here and deserves to be treated like a queen/goddess. Anyone who states otherwise is unquestionably wrong. Them's the rules.
Author's Response: Thank you, I do try to set my work apart in that way! No judgment to those who like to jump right in to the action, but I like to take my time setting the table a bit. The characters have to feel somewhat real in their thoughts processes and motivations for me to really get immersed, and I'm pleased to hear I could achieve that with you. Jade is given a lot more attention since we're privy to her thoughts, but Cass has her own resume for being the way she is too that I intend to show with time. Much appreciated!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 2:50 AM Title: I: Genesis
Really good! This is a larger size difference than I'm usually interested in because character interactions are so difficult, but you mitigated that by having the key relationship be between the two big characters. You did a great job showing Jade's developing unease and contrasting it with Cass. I hope Jade grows a spine and speaks up!
I like the physical interactions with the city. The way it seems to function like a portal, distorting physics so a crumb becomes powerful enough to crush steel. The sock was good, but tapping the ashes over the city was *chef's kiss*. The plea for help was a great "show don't tell" way to illustrate the city can understand them.
I'd read more!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the insightful comments! The central conflict will definitely be the evolving tension between Jade and Cass. I believe it's key to anchoring the narrative. Nano scale definitely presents a challenge for interaction, but I have a couple ideas up my sleeve for working around that, too. I hope you enjoy where it goes from here!
Date: March 12 2025 1:15 AM Title: I: Genesis
I loved this!! I’m a huge fan of the Incident story (both Grove View Apartments and Mom’s Secret Rooms) so I’m glad to see another story with a similar premise! Love love love Cass’s cruel intentions so much! It’d be cool if this city was an actual city from our world that was randomly shrunk and teleported to their room, but I’m excited to see whatever angle you take! It’s great to see that they at least have earth language and can communicate and understand what the goddesses are saying. Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks for your kind review! I'm stoked to hear it's appealing to other fans of those juggernaut stories. Panzer has been so influential to me as well.
I'm also glad that you're interested in the particulars of the city and how it got there. This will certainly be explored. Cass is a blast to write, too: overtly cruel but with, I hope, a somewhat believable sense of detachment for someone with a serious lack of empathy in general. Just look at how she treats her friend!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 12:22 AM Title: I: Genesis
Nice story, it would be cool to see how things play out from here
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to review! I think I will continue this after all, so I hope you stick with it. I've started to get lots of ideas brewing since I initially wrote this. Stay tuned.
[Report This]Date: March 11 2025 8:29 PM Title: I: Genesis
I’ll be blunt (no pun intended), the story didn’t do much for me in the way of erotic content. stoner girls just aren’t my type.
That being said, the pros were excellent, as always, and I’m intrigued to see where you take things if you decide to keep it going. If it turns out anything like your other story (also built from a simple premise in chapter 1 - pop star grows huge at her concert), this could be really good.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reviewing! I think I've decided I will continue it. The ideas have started to flow. This will likely not be as complex or lengthy of a narrative as Larger Than Life (by design, I kinda wanted a side project story that would be less time-consuming to plot out) but I hope it grows on you, should you choose to stick with it.