[Report This]Date: April 22 2025 1:38 AM Title: Intro
Technically sound, but creatively uninspiring. None of the characters feel unique, and nobody is actually going anywhere in a narrative sense. Very homogenous and unnecessarily wordy, which creates a barrier between the reader and the ideas you're presumably trying to give to the reader.
Changing the POV style in the middle of a story is an odd and disorienting thing to do, btw.
Date: April 21 2025 2:51 PM Title: Intro
The content is very good, but a lot of phrasing is repetitive or overly worry. The word 'testament' was used nine times in just chapter 11. I assume some AI is in use here, but maybe tone down the testaments.
[Report This]Date: April 19 2025 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 8 Matt's Beginning
Finally, a perspective from Matt and I love it. Please more interaction between Matt and Megyn's feet
[Report This]Date: April 19 2025 5:11 PM Title: Chapter 9 Megyn's night begins with Jack
Super chapter, I cant wait to read the tiny family perspective, and about your response, I agree with all you say, for the moment I`ll wait until you finish this one, because I think my ideas are more for a spinoff with Amanda and Kait, and I don´t want to disturb your own ideas for this one.
And talking about the POV, personally I love the way it changes, makes the story more dynamic.
[Report This]Date: April 19 2025 5:46 AM Title: Chapter 7 Amanda's Ordeal Continued
Excellent work as usual, maybe the plot of Amanda or katie, could be, with the recovery of the success that just happened I don´t know how you think to end this story, but maybe a story where mom tries to find them already knowing that the shrink happened and with Amanda, some unaware playing or some pool/bath story, maybe something trying to reach her ears walking al over her body, if you want to try something more spicy you could too, I think I and some others would love it, unleash all your ideas.
Plus the dad´s ideas and desires can reach more, let him have some fun in the future, let him play all along with his daughters when theyre huge.
Author's Response:
I have a couple more chapters written out and mostly completed. Though I've been going through and tweaking them every day with small changes I think are important. While I've had the primary idea in my head for months, I've enjoyed writing about 80% and then having AI add some words that change the story a little bit and making it so I adapt to the change in story or adding some elements as well from comments from reviews.
My main topics for this story are focused on surviving Megyn at her current scale and specific interactions with Jack, as well as from another comment by idontexisthere, a little solo action might work as well. Also a big part is having the dad lose control and slowly turn from his ideals to being swept up and as you put it, start to play along, but I can see maybe adding a bit more.
I like the bath idea, but I might try that with a spin off story, as this story I want to stick closer to Megyn. However, Katie I can see being a bath person. I'll play around with it in my head, though if you have some specific Ideas, I'll try to incorporate them.
[Report This]Date: April 14 2025 8:46 PM Title: Intro
Hey! I think it’s great so far and I like your writing. I think I, and a lot of others, would enjoy seeing som unaware insertion/masturbation as well!
Author's Response:
I think I could probably do that. What perspectives do you think?
Date: April 14 2025 8:41 PM Title: Chapter 4 Pink Sock Situation
Holy molly, what a way to describe the scenery and the emotion, excellent work.
Date: April 13 2025 10:08 PM Title: Chapter 2 Megyn's Morning Routine
WOW, amazing work here, I hope to read more from your story soon, maybe when you finish this one you could do some spin offs with Amanda and Kaitie.
Great work here, keep going.
Author's Response:
Interesting, what plot ideas do you have for that?