




Date: April 30 2025 5:27 AM Title: Chapter 1
Promising start! Love it so far





Date: April 30 2025 3:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
Great short story! It's an intriguing premise executed very well.
It was intriguing and a little off-putting how often "Earth" was used as a descriptor for a planet that is decidedly not Earth, but perhaps there's an artistic element that I'm not fully-appreciating there. I thought it was an interesting twist to set it up as her growing huge on Earth itself, but after it was revealed to not be her own planet (and the use of "Earth" descriptors continued) it struck me a little odd. Not a complaint, per se, but I'm curious about that choice.
Otherwise I think this story was executed flawlessly. You impressed a great sense of scale as you cut between Lauren's perspective and those of the little people below her. This short had a very "Twilight Zone" feel to it, which you even went so far as to explicitly acknowledge (which honestly just enhances the TZ meta). I wonder if you'll be doing more of these kinds of shorts in the future. I think you really nailed the abrupt ending and think there's a lot of opportunity for a greater series.