Date: May 15 2012 6:41 AM Title: Chapter 3: Getting there
There is some "info dumping" here and what this means is telling the author about things that haven't bee properly explained, such as AQD which I have no idea what it stands for. A good way to get around the problem is to have a prologue.
Date: May 15 2012 6:34 AM Title: Chapter 1: Getting ready
Your story is looking good, though I think some of the descriptiom at the begining of the chapter could be reorganized. So first you describe the room, then how the woman looks like, and finaly the clothes on the computer which she selects. And you could probably add some more too but this isn't too much of an issue. I realize English is not your first language and it's the first chapter so I'll give your story a chance.
Date: May 15 2012 4:52 AM Title: Chapter 1: Getting ready
Thanks for your kind comments.
I did not manage to write 8 chapters in one day. As you suspected, the whole story was written out before posting it here.
There may be some 1inch man / regular woman footplay in a next story.
Date: May 10 2012 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 1: Getting ready
Wow..Suprised the way you managed to write 8 chapters in a day.Just a question,did you write the chapters before you post them ?Oh and nice job.
Not a fan of the story but i must say you are realy good.Do you have interest in micro/footplay rather than 1 inch and crushing ?