[Report This]Date: June 06 2019 6:38 AM Title: Chapter One: You are your own worst enemy
Went searching for some good unaware stories, and I got to say, I struck gold with this. No vore, no breasts, so I was a bit concerned if I would like it. But the story telling was so powerful for me it made up 100 fold.
I wish there was a bit more to the ending however. Seems to be wrapped up rather quickly. I wanted the mom to finally discover he isnt dead, but the fact that the future isnt told is nice because it makes you wonder what happened...
Good job. Fantastic story.
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:32 PM Title: Chapter Twenty Three: Conclusion of Events
A little rushed-sounding. I mean; you could have made it an even two dozen chapters, by having Emma "toy" with Jacen for, at least, one day before informing Alyson.
But, the main thing is: YOU ACTUALLY FINISHED IT! HOORAY!!!
And, thanks for sharing it. :-D
Author's Response:
There is actually a epilogue too, that i am halfway through, but I had gotten repeated emails about the story so I thought I better post something, as the natives were getting restless so to speak.
The epilogue provides more closure and insight. As it takes place a few days after the final chapter. So you get to see what ended up happening to him and how things shook out.
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:26 PM Title: Chapter Twenty Two: Reasoning
So, this actually going to have a concluding chapter? Well, that in itself puts this one point up on "Scent of Trouble." ;-D
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:23 PM Title: Chapter Twenty One: Gaining Hope
Ah! Nervous perspiration; the next best thing to "waist disposal" for ridding oneself of unwanted body fluids.
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:19 PM Title: Chapter Twenty: Solutions and Problems
Methinks it's "frying-pan-to-fire" time. ;-)
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:16 PM Title: Chapter Nineteen: Choices
Hmmm! Makes me wonder what color hair Jacen and his sisters have.
Black, brown, carrot-top?
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:12 PM Title: Chapter Eighteen: Discovering the Truth
Ah! Much better.
Miranda to the rescue! :-)
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 12:10 PM Title: Chapter Seventeen: There is no try, only do or do not!
Uniform? Is she a parochial school girl or a cheerleader?
Date: December 04 2007 12:07 PM Title: Chapter Sixteen: One step forward, two steps back
I wonder if that "pouch" is mesh fabric, like Al's cap?
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:59 AM Title: Chapter Fourteen: “Prove yourself faithful with the little things so that you may be granted greater.”
Well, I would say it half-worked. By this point, Jacen is no doubt feeling emotionally "blue."
LOL!
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:57 AM Title: Chapter Thirteen: Waiting
I'm off to the next chapter.
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:50 AM Title: Chapter Twelve: Enter Miranda, Stage Left
All right! Now, Al will have to tell Jenni.
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:49 AM Title: Chapter Eleven: The Day After
Karmic payback is a you-know-what.
LOL!
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:46 AM Title: Chapter Ten: The Death of my Brother
Can't wait to see how you explain this one!
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:45 AM Title: Chapter Nine: Facts and Reality
Hmmm! Isn't this how Sam Whatsisname wound up as the pet of the Pavlik sisters in "Scent of Trouble?"
[Report This]Date: December 04 2007 11:40 AM Title: Chapter Seven: "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
This is proceeding pretty good.
Although, I'm confused whether the pet lizard is named "Roscoe" or "Rocco."
[Report This]Date: June 19 2007 7:30 AM Title: Chapter Twenty One: Gaining Hope
More! More!
Date: June 12 2007 7:43 PM Title: Chapter One: You are your own worst enemy
I really like the way this is going...please continue adding to it
Date: April 12 2007 9:32 PM Title: Chapter Twenty: Solutions and Problems
Interesting. I wonder if the girl intends to mix it in with Emma's food and shrink her as well. Being stuck in that pouch without anyone knowing where he's gone is going to make escape difficult. Especially if something happens to Emma.
Author's Response: We are getting near the end of this tale, but a few twists are still in store. I'm glad to see you still reading after all these chapters. I hope you are still enjoying it as much as the first.
Date: April 07 2007 1:25 PM Title: Chapter One: You are your own worst enemy
Hey, finally another update. Hope you keep going.
Author's Response: I plan too. I already have invested this much time into it. May as well see it till the end.