Date: May 02 2012 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 2
I really like it when people don't use generic terms to describe sexual organs, so for example: "The boy felt a tightening in his pants." The implication is nice but then it's not too explicit and I like what you did there. There was another story I read where it was described as "jumping to attention" and "his body saluted her".
It's rare that a find a good story on here. I think maybe I shoudl add your story to my favourites. Like a horse galloping across the land I march onwards; to the next chapter!
Date: October 10 2008 9:09 PM Title: Chapter 2
Interesting. If you are writing this tongue-in-cheek then I have to give you credit for a good job. I hope you do continue and I'll reserve judgement on a rating till I see more!
ya, i do prefer to write tongue-in-cheek, at least when it comes to their dialogue. when it's the narrative, i use more proper english. ;D after all, that's what my degree says i'm supposed to do! lol thank you for your review. i have a good bit of story planned out but i'm not sure how long it's going to take me to get to some of the more juicier scenes that are flitting around in my head. lol. i will perservere, though, and keep writing if not for the reviews then simply for the sake of writing.