Date: August 24 2021 1:21 PM Title: Brought Low
Tina has now completed her journey toward the Dark Side, and for her, it's probably just dealing with the consequences of that from now on (or not). Eva, I think, it about to reach her turning point, though I can see her going either way: she breaks, or she becomes unbreakable. Thinking about where the story can go from here, it seems like the former would almost make things too simple. Eva submits, Tina wins. You could throw in an external complication from Amy or Dana, but that's the end of their character arcs. But if Tina, in her current mental state, figures out that she can't break Eva, that'll keep their character development going for the rest of the story.
[Report This]Date: August 21 2021 5:06 PM Title: Brought Low
So... does Tina even comprehend how many orders of magnitude there are between bad boss that she could have quit at any time and her shrinking, kidnapping, raping, and torturing that boss? On a surface level, she knows she's doing something wrong, but she doesn't seem to have the maturity to understand. Amy understands and doesn't care.
I'd say you've made a far more effective shrink torture story than any I've ever read by having it largely from Eva's perspective, over so many chapters. Giving Eva several glimmers of hope and forcefully nullifying them. But Eva is stronger than Tina. Anyone else would have been broken already. Weeks ago. The Gym incident or being used as a sex toy in her own bed, or sleeping on coins would have broken even the strongest spirit.
If Eva survives this then she cannot be broken. I hope this finally backfires on Tina in some way. Caught by someone, or the magnitude of her crimes finally hits her, or she turns herself and Amy in after seeing the result of shrinking Eva subatomic for a weekend, or Eva evolves to be able to control her own size or learns the secrets of matter manipulation from being shrunk so small and becomes a god, but a kinder one than Tina.
[Report This]Date: August 21 2021 9:23 AM Title: Brought Low
Tina seemed to lose control. If she walks out that door, no one will find Eva again. Even now she could not find her.
The dangers of shrinking someone so small is that a lot can happen. Gust of wind, many forces can take Eva away from that place and she would never be found again. Tina has fire the beam at random at the floor.
Interesting development. Realistically no-one should be able to find Eva. The odds are astronomical.
If Tina just chose her to be 6 inch and just treat her like a normal pet and not paying attention to outburst, she would have a lot of less stress.
Author's Response:
I could raise you that if you are small enough, not even those forces could do anything to Eva. At a certain point those forces are happening 'above you' in a sense. It is indeed an interesting development however.
[Report This]Date: August 21 2021 5:29 AM Title: Brought Low
Now THIS is nano. Great job describing the changing perspectives at each level. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thank you! Glad to hear it!