Date: June 02 2021 9:36 AM Title: Encounter with a Demon
Mean is not the word I would use. Unhinged would be more accurate.
His reaction was also completely forced, which made no sense at all besides you wanting the story to take that turn.
Mind you, I'm not here to dive into the intricacies of a character's psyche, but this isn't good characterization.
Author's Response:
Unhinged hmm? I suppose I'm fine with that, as I don't want her to necessarily be mentally stable.
I just sit and type without any care, it's all just improv. But I'm going to roll with it, reactions don't always have to have a purpose or catalyst when someone's messed up in the head.
I do, somewhat, agree with you that this isn't good characterization, but I'm not a proper author, and on most of my entries and replies I'll readily admit that. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and leaving constructive feedback, but I'm unlikely to ever truly improve I think.
Should you wish to continue to keep up with the story as it updates, keep in mind it's very likely gonna be cringe to read through.
[Report This]Date: June 02 2021 4:15 AM Title: Encounter with a Demon
What a really nice surprise!! I'm super happy to see another story from you so soon. This is really good so far, I already love your two main girls! Remura is super cute, and Celeste is just the right amount of mean, mixed with playfulness (and perhaps a secret sweet side?) I also always love a good fantasy setting. Hope to see more soon!
-Pluto
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review Pluto! I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want them to accomplish for now. At the moment it's just some introductions to get the characters' personalities out in the open. Shute's probably my weakest point for now, he's not mentally invincible or anything but I don't want him to come across as a bitch either.
I want to return to some more Remura content in the next chapter, though.
And, yes. Spoiler alert: Celeste has a secret sweet side, she's probably never going to push things too far with Shute, but she does have some sort of a narcissistic personality, or god complex or whatever. She's going to want to exert her power over Shute in whatever way she can, merely for her own kicks, but she's going to have some self control.
Even this early, Shute's already noticed Celeste has yet to cause him any physical pain so far.
Thank you for reviewing, and also for being the first reviewer. I wish you well.