Date: May 11 2022 12:29 AM Title: Gene Crimes
Even this far in the future, there’s still white supremacist bullshit. It’s satisfying just how hard their plan backfired.
“The Atlasian Gene Crime Accord removed sanctions but created a unique quarantine that declared their genetic material as akin to a virus.” - huh, it reads like this accord is still in place. Not quite sure how to interpret this. Does that mean no kids allowed except with other Atlasians?
Nice little bit of world building here
Date: May 09 2022 8:23 PM Title: The Flying Game
With everything we know about her now, I would like to present my theory on Roxanne:
I think Roxanne is a former nerd, explaining why she's already in college, and got bullied due to being short, with Diane perhaps being one of the said bullies, only for her to end up outgrowing and turning the tables on her tormentors.
However, as a result, she has now become something of a bully herself by floundering her size and teasing others for being "small" compared to her, causing her to end up teasing Theo for being "tiny".
Personally, the more I learn about Roxanne, the more I get excited about her debut!
I also hope that, when she finally appears, she will end up being even bigger than what Camille and Gen remember, having hit her second growth spurt while away!
(Hope this gets a response!)
Date: May 09 2022 4:22 AM Title: The Flying Game
Prayers have been answered, it appears! As soon as I hit send there’s a new chapter
Wow. My heart is still racing from the flying game. That actually freaked me out a bit. Well done.
[Report This]Date: May 09 2022 3:19 AM Title: Choices
From their natural chemistry in the first handful of chapters, I had a feeling that the relationship between Camille and Theo would inevitably progress beyond the brother/sister dynamic, but I certainly wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon! Good on Theo, man. He’s a charming little guy for sure. Kuddos!
Camille is remarkably confident and straightforward, and while her overprotectiveness (and size) can make her downright terrifying, she is for the most part thoughtfully aware of Theo’s position and limitations, even when he is not, and I love her for that. Can’t wait to see how their relationship evolves.
I’m overjoyed to see Gen’s character development this chapter. It’s great to see her become a little more considerate and attentive, picking up on Theo’s wordless cues and thus giving him a little more control.
I am so, so excited for the introduction of Roxanne, the start of the semester, answers to many lingering questions, etc. Praying for another chapter soon! Thank you for this story.
[Report This]Date: May 03 2022 4:42 PM Title: Unfair Advantage
Diane asking Camille whether she can pick up Theo instead of just asking Theo himself...it's like Diane doesn't acknowledge him as a fully-fledged person. Also, that's multiple women that have shown some interest in Theo at this point. I wonder what the deal is with their interest in someone so small (other than the obvious answer of this being a fetish story.)
The general arc of this story has been fascinating so far. First, there was the fear and general sense of being overwhelmed when Theo learned about Atlasians, followed by hopefulness when they all seemed to be pretty nice. Things are getting worse for him every chapter since then, however, with all of the threats, intimidation, and general displays of domination. It really makes me look forward to more world building. I really wanna know what the whole story of the Atlasians is and what's actually going on.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback. You actually asked a few questions that I think I can work into upcoming chapters. I have about six more in the can but some of your critique inspired me to flesh out more backstory. Expect another chapter within the week.
Date: May 03 2022 4:23 PM Title: Big Breakfast
"I want you to touch me more." Phrasing, Camille. Or maybe she knows exactly what that sounds like.
"I know you people are prudes." Wonder if the increased size also comes with increased hormones or if it's just a cultural thing.
Camille's discussion of Atlasian's aggression sure does bode poorly for Theo's future. They seemed so nice up to this point too.
If anyone is gonna take advantage of anyone between Gen and Theo, I really don't think Theo's gonna be the one to do it. Camille's sisterly protectiveness might be clouding her judgement a bit. "I'm going to trust a twenty-one year old to figure a way out of it. Right? That's fair I think." No, Camille. That's absolutely not fair in this scenario.
Camille has been pretty likable so far, but with all the threats and intimidation in this chapter, she's starting to come off as a bit of an asshole. Which, based on the info about Atlasian's in this chapter, might be the norm in some ways. Hopefully she's just exaggerating a bit to get Theo in a more defensive mindset for his own good.
Date: May 03 2022 3:53 PM Title: Measure of a Woman
"She was actually blushing. Theo felt he was sending the wrong vibe." No shit, Theo. Maybe don't accidentally flirt with your gargantuan roommate's underage sister.
Roxanne continues to grow increasingly threatening as we learn more about her. I wonder if she skipped a grade or something? She seems young for university.
Just google BGGB, Theo! Or whatever the google equivalent is in this universe. Although I suppose that might make for a less interesting story.
Also, the more I think about it, the more I feel like Atlasians being huge should be a generally well known thing, even if there are 160+ inhabited planets. It just feels like information people would stumble across at some point.
[Report This]Date: May 03 2022 3:29 PM Title: First Impressions
I just read the first three chapters and this is a fantastic start to the story. Your writing style is great and I love the balance you strike between the characterization, the action, Theo's internal monologue, and a bit of world-building.
Some thoughts from the first 3 chapters:
Theo's acceptance to the university is obviously deeply suspicious. The whole dorm is itself is sketchy; why is there anything his size when it should pretty much always be filled with Atlasians? Why was he accepted as a non-Atlasian male with his mediocre greades? Fishy.
The various descriptions of just how out of scale most things are compared to Theo are very well done.
"It's ok, I won't break." Theo...who are you fooling here buddy? Definitely not yourself, and almost definitely not Gen.
"You're gonna have to get over that particular hangup pretty quick." Camille ain't wrong. So far, Theo's attempts at manliness have looked adorable as best and a bit sad and pathetic at worst. Also, Camille easily holding up hundreds of pounds like a tray...shit, just how strong are the Atlasians?
"I haven't seen anything to make me think otherwise at this point." Camille was preventing you from breathing when she held you, completely on accident and without knowing! I think that maybe, just maybe, they might be different from most other people in the galaxy.
The good news for Theo is all of the Atlasians have been very nice so far. Wonder just how long that's gonna last. Maybe until Roxanne shows up? The bit we know about her so far seems ominous. Regardless, excellent story so far.
[Report This]Date: May 03 2022 1:12 PM Title: Choices
This is an easy going nice little story.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2022 2:54 PM Title: The Crush
This was a nice read! I’m excited to see where this story goes - It’s very intriguing.
For Theodore’s sake, I pray that this big misunderstanding is just that. Perhaps Theodore was blacked out for a long while and Camille already knew of his condition, simply coming to check on him. My prayers are with him.
Once again, this story is very promising, even the “lore” aspects, regardless if you think people will like it or not. I think it makes the world easier to fall into and I appreciate the care put into it. Good job!
Date: April 09 2022 2:16 PM Title: Gene Crimes
Really glad you came back to update this. I was afraid this would be one of those forgotten stories that start off with great promise.
Date: April 08 2022 5:04 PM Title: Gene Crimes
Thanks for the update! I'm looking forward to more!
Date: April 08 2022 11:48 AM Title: Big Man On Campus
I'm glad that Chapter 7 is finally out!
However, I must say that I was expecting something more for the long wait.
Author's Response:
You got a point. I had a lot of stuff going on, meant to post this one like two months ago. I got more, expect more this month.
Date: March 27 2022 6:55 PM Title: Big Man On Campus
Hey this is quite intresting, I'm intrested in roxanne's introduction please continue also please respond to comments.
Date: March 23 2022 6:24 PM Title: Big Man On Campus
Will you please return to writing this story!
It's just really starting to get going!
Personally, I'm really looking forward to Roxanne's official introduction.
Everything we have already learned about her and the world's lore has led me to believe that she will be ever bigger than when Camilla last saw her by the time they meet again, having hit her second growth spurt while visiting her family.
[Report This]Date: March 05 2022 2:19 PM Title: Unfair Advantage
Brilliantly written Story. I'm already looking forward to the next Update.
[Report This]Date: February 14 2022 6:41 AM Title: Unfair Advantage
I love the dynamic here. Camille seems to have a strong protective nature, and while they've only just met, they seem to have a good natural chemistry with one another.
Adolescent female Atlasians seem to have a bit of a dominant streak once they hit their first growth (for reasons explained), so there is some worry for how Roxanne will behave around Theo. I'm holding out hope for a very gentle giant, at least when it comes to her interactions with our main character.
[Report This]Date: February 13 2022 11:58 AM Title: Unfair Advantage
Honestly, I am not usually fond of NWO stories but you somehow managed to make me like this one. Sounds like an underhanded compliment but isn't one. There's a lot of foreshadowing with Roxanne, and I can't wait till she shows up. Hopefully this story keeps going on for a while because it's implied she'll grow a ton too.
[Report This]Date: February 13 2022 8:55 AM Title: Big Man On Campus
Wow... I love the unique situations you put the characters in. So far I am enjoying this story a lot!
I am eagerly awaiting the moment when Theo meets the other roommate!
[Report This]Date: February 09 2022 7:50 PM Title: Big Man On Campus
This is a great story! I love the world building and detail.
Keep it up! I can't wait for more.