Date: October 17 2023 4:40 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
(free proofreading). I saw a lot of errors in your other newer works too. If want me to do this for them too, I'd be happy to. Once you fix these, let me know and I will delete this post.
Chapter 1
realeased / released
Chapter 2
working his toes / working her toes
red eyes appearing the dark / red eyes appearing in the dark
I’ve love a bed / I'd love a bed
Chapter 3
dragonscale weight too more / dragonscale weight took more
Chapter 4
naturally haver certain… instincts / naturally have certain… instincts
or naturally have, er, certain… instincts
Chapter 5
nostalgia and loss thinking / nostalgia and loss, thinking
I read this as "loss thinking" the first time and was confused.
further into the much / further into the mulch (?) Not sure if that is right.
[Report This]Date: August 04 2023 8:40 PM Title: Emperors Gone By
Finally caught up!
First, love Tyrael and Arthur's relationship. Whenever they're alone together is the best and most heartwarming parts of the story. Tyrael calming Arthur down after he killed the bandit, and her drunken ramblings in the most recent chapter are standouts. There's always a bittersweet undertone to their interactions thanks to Tyrael's fear of one day losing Arthur and her reckless desire to make him immortal, and that underlying sadness bolsters the better parts of their relationship by enforcing how important it is to relish those moments.
Second, I like how constantly reinforced the theme of death is throughout the story. Whether its Arthur's inevitable death looming over Tryael, Arthur killing the bandit to protect the party, or just everything going on with Varnay and the Crown of the Lich King, the reader is continuously exposed to death and that really drives home the desperation Tyrael feels to prevent Arthur's and excites me over what sacrifices she'll be willing to make for him (and how Arthur will even feel about all this when her goals become clear to him).
Third, I'm enjoying the party dynamic. Colin is a fun addition, being the feistier of the two humans and having a stronger connection to the two apprentices (it seems it doesn't take much convincing to get him into the elves' shrinking shenanigans, though his stubbornness still starks a nice contrast to Arthur who is openly into it at this point). I like Naz so far, hopeful she'll have a chance to take center stage at some point in the future.
Fourth, Varnay is so intriguing to me. I'm looking forward to learning more about what his deal is in assisting Tyrael (obviously its to get the crown/its power, but I'm curious as to what he plans to do with it, what his motivations/goals are, etc.). I love villains that manipulate the characters from the shadows, especially when their ruthless, bloodthirsty vampires. I was kinda shocked at how restrained his "services" in the one town were, and it will be interesting to see if he pulls off anything more heinous in the future (or at least attempts to). Also excited to see what costs the Crown is guaranteed to come with and how it affects our party (physically or emotionally).
Fifth, I don't really know if it needs to be said, but the actual smut parts are always a treat. I don't praise that stuff enough in my reviews considering it's low-key the whole reason I'm even here, but all the ways people are shrunken and played with by various body parts are always so detailed, vivid, creative, enticing and any other positive remarks I can't come up with off the top of my head.
Thanks for writing smut so good that I feel compelled to analyze its themes and wonder what the plot has left in store. It still impresses me how well you weave traditional storytelling with erotica while excelling in both simultaneously and continually.
Author's Response:
Death is certainly a theme to this tale, and it casts a pallor over the whole thing really, Arthur thinks it's a generic fantasy quest but he doesn't realize he's the heart and center of the whole thing.
Varnay is Evil with a capital E. His actions are calculated, he's pushing Tyrael's boundaries as much as he can. Tyrael will rationalize that the bandit leader had it coming, that he chose his path, that she's not responsible... but we all know who set a vampire on that village. No evil ever starts by murdering innocents after all. Our vampire is mocking Tyrael because he knows what she's trying to ignore, there is a cost to everything, I very much like the Full Metal Alchemist idea of equivalent exchange.
Vampires have always been a sort of fascination of mine, you can see it in my stories, but the Vampire is a sort of opposite to the ideals of most major religions, prioritizing the earthly realm over the spiritual, trading the immaterial for the mortal realm. Varnay is not some powerful man with a disease, he's a representation of the evils of eternal life. Hopefully by the end I'll have this one cemented haha.
[Report This]Date: August 03 2023 6:54 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
Hey, it looks like I missed an update, so I kind of got a two for one with this one.
The first thing that stuck out to me between these last two chapters was Varnay. Up until the last chapter, I thought him following the group in the shadows was just him biding his time until they get to the Lich and that his occasional taunting was just standard vampiric douchiness. But between seeing him taunt Tyrael about Arthur taking a life and that little message he sent her with the bandit leader, I'm starting to think he might need her in a particular state of mind or something like that in order to do whatever evil thing he's clearly planning to do (we don't really know enough about the Lich to guess exactly what's going to go down, but the inevitable double cross is super obvious to everyone but our titular elf).
Obviously, I felt pretty bad for Arthur having to take a life. I do disagree that Tyrael is responsible for him having to do it, as he made his own choice to go on the journey and to pull the trigger to save his friend, but I do think Varnay's words will way on her. Much like how she thinks she's experienced and powerful to get out of any situation, I think if Arthur is put in more situations like that, she's going to blame herself because she didn't see them coming.
But the Arthur and Tyrael scenes in these last two chapters have been cute, heartwarming, and a little sad. The sadness is kind of an undertone, as her thoughts show that she's got his potential death and presumed immortality on her mind constantly. She feels like she can't even tell him that she loves him (she can't even bring herself to think about the l-word) until he's beyond death (by aging, anyway). It's sad, but it makes sense, as the fear of losing another person she cares so much about (I'm not sure if Gustav was just a really good friend or a lover) is keeping her from admitting her feelings, like if she let herself admit it now and enjoyed her time with Arthur naturally she's opening herself back up to that same pain. That was probably always pretty obvious, but it didn't really hit me until this last chapter.
And it was cool to get a glimpse at Gustav himself. Based on how he was talked about in The Elf is Innocent, at least on the human side, I kind of got the vibe that he was opportunistic and power hungry. Tyrael's memory paints a much nicer picture, and it's easier to understand why losing him hurt her so much.
I like how Elwyn's feelings for Colin were handled in this last chapter. Clearly she's got a bit of a thing for him, but once again, her views on humanity prevent her from fully realizing it. It's pretty cute how nervous she seemed to be around him at full size, and I don't remember her kissing Arthur like that. But, of course, she attributes her excitement to them having "their own human." I'm interested to see how or if this develops.
Elwyn and Tina both seem to show their inexperience in these last two chapters as well. Tina seems to shrug off her near-death experience way too easily, and she doesn't even think to thank Arthur for saving her life (or maybe she did that "offscreen" and I'm reading too much into it). I'm not sure she understands the toll that taking a life (especially for the first time) like Arthur did for her can have on a person, unlike Tyrael, who was quick to try and comfort him.
Then there's Elwyn. Like in chapter one with Arthur, she got her toy after the magic drill. However, also like with Arthur, Colin hesitated and would have had her if he didn't. Both times she didn't seem to understand this, probably because she was too happy to have her tiny human. I feel like this might come back to bite her in some way later on.
Naz brings an interesting dynamic to the group. She hasn't played a huge role in the story yet, but I'm enjoying her bonding sessions with the apprentices. Her brief interactions with Arthur and Colin have been pretty entertaining as well, especially when she vowed to do her best to help Colin "earn a squeeze." She's a fun character, and I'm interested in seeing what role she plays in the story going forward.
But yeah, it was good to see this story with an update (especially since I didn't see the last one). This is an interesting tale, fun but with a little depth and foreboding with whatever's coming when our party reaches its destination.
Author's Response:
The stuff about Gustav in the different stories is kind of a commentary on how various historical figures are remembered. Some people remember him as greedy and opportunistic, and maybe he was to a degree, others lionize him as a great liberator, and he certainly did free some people, the elves made up a legend of an unstoppable elf killing superman to sate their own egos, and Tyrael remembers the man himself.
Varnay is someone that Tyrael thought she could control, but the bandit leader is a little reminder that she can't, he's very obviously up to something sinister and her apprentices, Arthur, hell even Colin could probably tell her that working with him is a bad idea.
Tyrael and Arthur's relationship does have an underlying tragedy to it, but what else but love would motivate such a desperate quest?
[Report This]Date: August 01 2023 2:56 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
Really been enjoying this one so far. Tyrael and Arthur’s relationship is so sweet. I can only hope things turn out well for them. I feel like the eventual ending may make me somewhat emotional haha. I also hope we get to see one of our shrunken manservants under Naz’s big orc feet. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
" I feel like the eventual ending may make me somewhat emotional haha"
Duuussssst in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind...