Reviewer: workonmonday Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03 2023 3:18 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Tiny Re-Introduction

Keep it going man, I love how complex the characters are and how you use that to enhance the sexy parts. Hope your able to finish the story it’s been a fantastic read! 

Author's Response:

Thank you! Managing to push forward just a little bit. Chapter 10 is for you!

Reviewer: Alamo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 17 2023 8:05 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Tiny Re-Introduction

Wow, love this! Great descriptions of the size differences and a great job with the domination. Looking forward to see where this goes.

Author's Response:

I appreciate it! I’ll think on it and hopefully have another chapter soon!

Reviewer: MicroThaumaturge Signed [Report This]
Date: August 12 2023 5:03 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Tiny Re-Introduction

Vestibular.  Good vocab word.  Sorry, I know that's random, but I appreciate when an author's diction extends beyond the colloquial.

As for the story, I'm here for it.  I like the sexual tension, and I'm curious to see not only how Evelyn uses the rest of her day, but how MC plans to take his revenge.

I do have to say, there's a cognitive dissonance for me in your description of Evelyn.  The initial description is that she's a bit of a stalker, but sweet and shy, or at least acts shy.  A few paragraphs later she's a controlling if not domineering individual who is known to the MC to prefer sex that plays out rape fantasies.  It might be a failing on my part to comprehend your intended portrayal of Evelyn, but the "sweet" descriptor soured very fast after Evelyn appeared on screen.

Regardless, thanks for contributing, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes!

Author's Response:

Hello! Thank you for engaging with the story—it makes me really happy to see your astute observations. Because you seem to be into it, I have no hesitations giving you a little peek under the hood.

The narrator's double-consciousness toward Evelyn is central to the story (consider, for example, the title of the piece). As the story unfolds, we're going to see more about the narrator's conflict about how he sees Evelyn, and we're going to get enough ingredients to where it's difficult to extract exactly who she is. Also consider the wording of the sentence itself: "Evelyn was an incredibly sweet girl." Was she sweet before and became vengeful because of how the narrator treated her in their relationship? "Incredible" itself is a word meaning "not credible," or sometimes, "unbelievable." This dissonance is something I'm going to try to play around with if I ever get around to writing more of the story. Thank you for reading!