Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: January 28 2024 12:44 AM Title: The Real Party Begins

Of all of questions in my last review, ice-to-drink ratio is something I didn't think of. The differing cup sizes is also something I didn't consider. I thought Mike was probably going to get smaller because he drank all of those cups in beer pong, but Evan was drinking from a bigger cup the whole time.

You always seem to nail down little details like that in your stories. I really enjoy that.

And I think Mike being the bigger of our two protagonists is definitely the right way to go. At his current size, he's still getting humbled but can still communicate, which I think he needs to do to move things forward with Lily (he might not know he wants that yet, but I think he does). Evan and Sara really just need to see each other as less intimidating, and her seeing him so vulnerable and him seeing her as his protector will likely take care of that.

I found it interesting that Sara thought of Evan as just as unapproachable as he did her. It helps show just how into him she is, since she's nervous around him, too, which breaks plenty of nerd/sorority girl stereotypes. The way she gets mad at him for not knowing how to drink was pretty cute, too.

As for Mike, this chapter confirmed for me that he's a decent dude under that jock exterior. Jake showing up helped with that, especially when he hit on Lily while showing off his tiny soon to be ex-girlfriend. That's what a real douche looks like. While Mike likes to sleep around, I don't get the vibe that he dies that when he's actually seeing someone.

Lily backing up Mike's butt joke to Mia made it seem a tad less chauvinistic and helped show why Lily and Mike are friends at the same time. She shares his sense of humor and doesn't get offended easily. I also like that Lily went right into teasing mode when she realized Mia knew what was happening (which she took to mean Mike would be fine) but slips into the comforting protector role when she sees he's scared rather than annoyed. Her teasing is as good-natured as his has always been and like him, I think, she'll stop if things feel too serious.

I also got the impression that those two haven't dated or slept together yet. The light-hearted player finding real love standing next to him the whole time is a classic, satisfying theme, and I look forward to seeing if that's how things play out here.

Mia showing off her dominant side one minute, then worrying about sitting on Mike and being embarrassed the next made her quite likable to me. I wasn't sure what to think about Amy and Mia in chapter one, but now I think she's a pretty fun character.

Amy was pretty interesting here as well. Her excitement was contagious, which made her fun. However, she was obviously incredibly reckless, especially when she's not 100 percent sure when everyone will grow back.

Not only that, but her assurance that people would have to try to hurt a tiny in order to actually has a major flaw: what I'd a big actually wants to hurt a tiny. And in an environment where not many people are going to be thinking clearly, it wouldn't even take a malicious big to hurt someone, just a drunk one that thought it would be funny. Her reaction to finding out Evan was going to become a dust mite was also pretty bad, excitement and abandonment.

She really should have taken some precautions before doing this, but she's also just a college student, so it makes sense that she didn't think things through. And given the tone of the story so far, I'm sure things will turn out fine, with no serious incident. Still, I thought this was worth noting.

And did I read that right? People are playing King's Cup and the losers have to drink the jungle juice, even though they know drinking it will shrink them? Those are some high stakes!

This was a fun chapter, and it was great to see the relationships between our four main characters continue to develop. I look forward to seeing where you go from here.

Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!

I think you've pretty much nailed it as far as what I was going for with these characters. It makes me happy to know that it comes through in my writing!

(And yes, King's Cup has very high stakes! When I was in college, it was one of my favorite scenarios.)

Stay tuned, I've started working on the next chapter... I hope to have it out soon!