Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: April 07 2024 5:53 AM Title: Up and Down

The main characters (Casimir and Maya), the antagonist (Olivia) and
the enemie (Ms. Rhem) where quickly and well established.

About Maya, let’s not pretend: it’s clear she has had very very strong romantic feelings for Casimir for a long time and now the dam is reaching it’s limits. Also, Casimir and Olivia may have more in common than they
realize – the themes of fulfilling duties within the family and expectation… yes, Olivia was mockering Casimir while also talking about herself. About a desire to lash out just like the one her brother has.

Olivia doesn’t strike me as a villain but as someone who believes that clinging to her mother’s image is the best way to keep things from changing.

The difference, what sets Olivia’s and Casimir desires apart, is this lack of
expectations she used to mock him. Because of this lack, Casimir wants to be useful, and I am not saying this just because of the ritual scene and dialogues: the fact he wanted to work and pay Ms. Rhem shows he is a earnest person and someone who wants to repay every crumble of love and care sent his way.

So I am willing to make a bet here even though it’s just the first chapter: Casimir accepted being sacrificed for Maya’s sake because of the special bound he already felt. It’s exactly because he didn’t wanted but accepted for her well being that makes Maya’s ritual a true sacrifice – different from the others that took places on bases of fear, lust or/and obligation.

That’s my interpretation. Great first chapter. Quick but also efficient. Thanks for writing and sharing! And sorry for any misspelling. Although I am fluent in english, it is not my primary language.

Author's Response:

Thank you for reading!

In my past works, there was typically only a minimal characterization before I went straight into the "action." So in this story, it was my goal to introduce the characters properly before diving into the NSFW stuff.  To see that they come across as well-established is very pleasant to hear. 

You’ve definitely gotten some stuff in your predictions correct, although I don’t want to reveal what yet. 

P.S. Don’t worry about English not being your primary language; I am also not a native speaker. I have not noticed any egregious spelling issues in your text and I was able to understand what you were trying to say.